On the night of the Qin royal banquet, I was sent to Yingzheng's dormitory.

On this night, I lost my virginity and became the woman of Yingzheng.

Then, on the same night, that me, named Xiao Xu, died completely.

How can a humble person like me have the power to manipulate his own destiny? These are only things that I expected.

The day before the wedding ceremony, Qin Yuji came, he pushed open the window of the room, and a flying body landed in front of me.

"Come with me. He took my hand, and in his dark eyes was a blazing fire, and he said, "We will go to a place where no one can find me, whether it is the end of the earth or the cape, and I will accompany you as long as you wish." ”

Where are you going? The whole world is not the king's land, you have such a bright and beautiful future, how can I let it be buried in my hands?

"Let's go. I didn't look at him, and my voice was cold: "I am Concubine Xu now, no longer Xiao Xu." I will live a life of fine clothes and food, with the most honorable position, I have ...... It's not that lowly dancing girl anymore. ”

"That's not what you mean. He shook his head, reached out and lifted my chin lightly, looking into my eyes as if to see my heart as well.

"That's the truth, why should I lie to you. I lowered my eyes slightly, laughing at myself and said, "Now I am not clean, even I feel dirty." ”

"Xiao Xu!" he hugged me into his arms, his voice trembling: "I don't mind, I don't mind at all." I only want to be with you, and I don't care about anything else. ”

"But I care, the rain. I pushed him away, looked him in the eye and said, "I care." I don't deserve you, I always knew it. You are the great-grandson of Qin Kai, the general of Yan State, and you are a nobleman after Jiangmen, and I know it. I know so much about you, but you never know what I'm thinking. ”

"Xiao Xu ......"

"I was originally the daughter of the swordsmen of Zhao State, Kuangqi and Feixue Ji, but my mother was taken into Xianyang Palace when she was pregnant with me in May and became Yingzheng's concubine. I'm just a burden to her, and I'm a wild seed in their eyes that no one wants. For 16 years, in order to live, I have been bullied, swallowed my anger, and swallowed the tears of grievance back into my stomach. I'm fed up, rainy days, I don't want to live like that anymore, I want to have a higher status than all of them!"

"Rainy period. I looked into his eyes and said, word by word, "I...... Never loved you. ”

As if his soul had been drained, he stared at me in disbelief, his lips trembling.

"Go back. I got up and turned my head away from looking at him. The hand in the sleeve clenched hard, and I could feel the pain of my nails creeping into the flesh, and the sound of my own heart breaking.

After a long time, there was finally a sound behind him, the sound of the window being opened.

"Xiao Xu. His back was to me, and his voice was softer in the stillness of the night: "That night you were dressed in white veil, running in the moonlight, like a fairy. You don't know that you gently looked back, and it actually bolted my heart for the rest of my life. I...... Never regretted falling in love with you......"

The window closed again, and I turned around, but there was no more to him.

It is said that mourning is greater than heart death, and I think that at the moment when the rain period leaves, I can especially understand the meaning of this sentence.

It turns out that the most painful thing in a lie is the liar.

The next day, I was woken up early by the old ladies who walked into my room with plates full of jewelry and wedding dresses, smiling with their eyebrows and eyes.

"Congratulations. ”

I sneered, what is there to be happy about marrying a man who is older than my father?

"Niangniang, this is the kapok that the slave maid picked in the garden of Zhao Palace. A little palace maid happily presented a large handful of kapok to me, and said as if to take credit: "The slave maid saw that this flower was blooming well, not only the flowers were big, but also the color was festive, so she picked it back to ask for good luck." ”

She also had a childish little face full of smiles, and the kapok in her hand reflected the red wedding dress in the hands of the old palace maid, looking like she had been soaked in blood.

Feeling a little disgusted, I waved my sleeves, frowned and said to her, "Go down and take these flowers away." It's so red that it makes people dizzy. ”

The little palace maid pursed her mouth, sniffled, and then walked away with a big handful of kapok full of loss. A few flowers fell from the branches and landed on her shoulders, stinging my eyes.

I remembered the scene when I first met Qin Yuji. The sun was shining brightly, the wind was blowing the branches of the trees, and I saw him for the first time under the saffron-blooming kapok. He was so serious and focused that he didn't even feel the flowers falling on his shoulders.

The tip of his nose is a little sore, as if he will cry at any time. I covered my face with my hand, and only after a long time did I sigh softly: "The memories are too sad, don't mention the ...... back then."

Heavy wedding dresses are draped over the body, and butterflies made of gold are clamped around the head and coiled in a circle, lining the flower-shaped bun. The two uncurled strands of hair on the cheeks hung straight down and rested on his chest wrapped in a gold-embroidered robe. The center of the eyebrows is dotted with golden lotus flowers, the corners of the eyes are outlined with colored lines, the lips are covered with rouge, and the cheeks are fragrant with jade dew.

It wasn't until the delicate and luxurious gold thread fell on my head towards the phoenix crown, and until the gold chain covering my face blocked my view, that I finally realized that I could not go back.

Walking slowly in the Afang Palace, I heard a shout from behind me in a trance.

"Xiao Xu, come back, please, don't go to that place!"

The cry was so bleak that it seemed to drain all the strength of her life.

It was as if someone had dug a piece of my heart, or as if someone was trying to separate my bones from flesh and blood. The pain that rose from the blood made me feel sweet in my throat and spit out a mouthful of blood.

"Niangniang!" The palace maid beside her was shocked and hurriedly shouted: "Stop! Stop! Niangniang vomited blood!"

"Don't stop!" I cried out, "Have you forgotten? If you miss the auspicious time, you will lose your head! Go faster!

The soldier who was carrying the chariot froze and quickened his pace.

The shouting behind me still didn't stop, and I turned my head to see Cher running in a cloak, her shoes missing, and her clothes scattered. But her feet never stopped.

Until the white figure rode his horse, he jumped off the horse, and reached out to hug her into his arms, as if he were the only one in his life.

Yes, even without me, Cher still has a long life.

I turned my head and covered my head with the red veil, tears dripping down my chin and spreading like blood.

This is my second year in Afang Palace, and I lost my future life because of the song "Colorful Butterflies in the Clouds". From then on, I will be imprisoned in that palace wall from birth to death.

The cycle of fate is so wonderful, I finally lost the most precious thing in this life.

Exactly the same as my mother.

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