Looking at the bright spring light outside the window, the natural world has selflessly shone all the brilliance on the growing life, but it is always difficult for me to forget the years that have been depressed, depressed, difficult to continue but still cannot give up, I always wonder, if I failed to persevere, self-walk down, then I still have the courage and confidence to face the light. But fortunately, I persevered, and now, I am still fortunate that the college entrance examination is a complete lie and a scam for life, but how much I have paid for it! There were many tears and blood in my heart, but I finally stood where I desperately wanted to arrive. I still don't know what my future holds? What to expect? But what I do do know is that I can hold on to everything silently.

—Pengxia's Diary

All my memories of high school started after the 100-day pledge meeting, because the friends who played with me on a daily basis had abandoned me and devoted themselves to the intense revision work. I resented that they were not strong-willed, and they were brainwashed by teachers and parents casually, and became a part of the "college entrance examination to change their fate". I also resented that they could so easily throw themselves into the sea of learning, and live like chicken blood all day long. I remember that it was the day after I was abandoned, the school began to nervously, full of passion for the 100-day oath, the principal, the teacher, and the classmates who gave speeches on the stage all moved themselves with passionate words, surging feelings, and even moved the audience of the speech, I saw the red flag bearers of each class shaking the bright red flags in their hands vigorously, and the tired eyes of the students behind them burst out like fire, especially my former good companions, the brilliance in their eyes burned more enthusiastically, Shouting is also particularly hard. At that time, I didn't understand, but after I did such a thing, I realized that there was hope burning in the fire.

But at that time, I only felt that they were hypocritical, and I cursed them with the most vicious words in my heart, scolding them, and sincerely hoping that they would not be admitted to college, so that they could experience the uselessness of their efforts. Even with the speakers on the stage, I felt that the crowd around me was extremely hypocritical, and I condemned them with enough malice, hoping that their bad luck would come soon.

Their perfidious people had persuaded me to join them in their struggle, but I either cursed with cynicism or stared and stared with malicious eyes. Finally, I was completely abandoned by them, and I can't say that, I should have completely abandoned them. I'm messing around with the days while waiting to see their jokes!

But what I didn't expect was that I, who wanted to see other people's jokes, became a joke in the eyes of others. How long can a hundred days be? Three years is just a moment, and in the blink of an eye, the graduation ceremony arrived, and the leaders on the stage made some empty words in turn, but I also had an infection of the sad atmosphere of graduation, and I might have left a few drops or lines of clear tears under this infection. But when I saw my classmates, especially the friends I had abandoned, they were struggling, grabbing, and taking pictures around the teachers. The flower-like smile on my face was honestly jealous, so my heart felt like it was being corroded by oil, and every now and then there was a loud voice. In view of this, I deliberately put on a straight face on the graduation photo that gathered three years of good memories, and I think the bitter gourd face I showed was the biggest revenge for them. But I didn't have the slightest bit of fun.

After the graduation ceremony, after a short period of trimming, the college entrance examination came, and the result of the college entrance examination was that they all went ashore. I did what they all wanted, and a very low score was already a joke. All the invitations they sent me tore into tiny pieces and threw them into the trash with anger. I locked myself in a small room that holiday, and my parents didn't blame me too much when they saw that I was so depressed, and they often worried about my mental health. I wasn't really sad, the strange thing was that everything felt like a dream, but I felt more peaceful than ever. But the only thing that made me uncomfortable was the inquiries of my relatives, which were interspersed with scrutiny and comparison, and every family had children, and I made my parents unable to hold their heads up among them, and I was extremely disgusted with the inquiries, and incidentally disgusted with the people who inquired.

My parents asked me to go out for a walk, which helped me to adjust my mind, and before that, I refused their offer to repeat my studies for another year, saying "as long as I don't let me study, I can do anything". On a hot afternoon, I didn't hold an umbrella and let the scorching sun eat away at my fresh skin. Walking around aimlessly along the mountain road behind me, I don't like to be with people, I don't have that mood. I often think about something, it's just some images of the past, for the future, I have no expectations, the college entrance examination is a single-plank bridge, the high score is a ladder, it's a pity, I'm such a failure. But I don't have any intention of doing it all over again, I don't even want to think about it.

It's just that all thoughts change when I meet certain people and certain things, and I still remember the joy of meeting that plant in the corner of the edge of the mountain road when I climbed the mountain. The plants that emerge from the hard asphalt road are not as tall as those in the land next to them, but I am also touched by the fact that it is so small on such a long road of monotonous colors, even if it is drowning in darkness all its life, let alone who cares about its little bit of green. But it didn't, it overcame all the difficulties, the pressures, and finally got out of the dark earth, and the most amazing thing is that it turned the hard road into a place where life could be accommodated. I looked at the green and burst into tears, I took a picture of it with my phone, but most importantly, I took it in my heart. When I went back that day, I decided to repeat it, not for anything else, but to see a better, brighter world.

I decided to repeat it to know that ideas are just ideas after all, and I only knew how difficult it could be to do it. I threw away all my books on the day I graduated, and after the college entrance examination, I cleaned up all the materials related to high school again. I had to borrow it from my friends, but if I couldn't borrow it, I had to buy it. In the process of borrowing, I once again felt regretful, because my friends who were abandoned by me did not abandon me like me, and they all helped me a lot. I am sincerely grateful for this, and I am not sorry for what I thought and did before.

Packing up my books, halfway through the holidays, I knew that my own battle had officially begun. My parents enrolled me in a cram school for the holidays, and in this cram class, there were only two cram students, both of whom were women, and the others could always feel the estrangement hidden in them, even if they tried to overcome the look on their faces after learning that we were cram students. This girl's name is Tiantian, she and I may be outliers in the group so it is easier to approach, and what makes me even happier is that she and I are in the same school preparing to cross the third year of high school, which is the so-called senior year of high school, which is a crossing rather than a degree. At that time, I never imagined that the two of us would be like lighthouses illuminating each other in the dark night, small fish foaming at each other in the mud pool, and snowflakes snuggling up to each other in the ice and snow, swimming together to the end.

Whew, the sunlight outside was indeed too dazzling, bringing me out of the whirlpool of memories, making my eyes can't help but burst into tears, squinting my eyes, much better. The university where Tian Tian and I came doesn't necessarily rain all year round, but I remember that there were two particularly heavy rains, and we probably left more tears than those heavy rains that fell from the sky.

The first rain happened during that summer vacation, and the make-up time was in the afternoon, and I woke up from a nap and hurriedly grabbed a few books and went on the road. When the rainstorm came, it was too fast, too violent, too strong, and I only felt a strong wind blowing wildly, and the white clouds in the sky turned into a large black and thick piece of dough in an instant. In a few moments, the heavy raindrops connected the heavens and the earth, and I was like dust in the bellows, and the leaves falling with the wind could not have the slightest freedom. I didn't bring an umbrella, and even if I did, I was afraid it would be useless. I could only run as hard as I could, from the halfway point to the make-up location, it was a long way, I ran and ran, I lost my strength, and tears melted into the rain, rushing wantonly on my face. When I walked into the cram school, my clothes were soaked and drenched, but my tears were dry. The clothes were wet and the whole body was very uncomfortable, but what could I do but take off my coat, and when I saw Tiantian, I saw the sadness in her eyes. An ordinary look at each other, and we suddenly felt as if we were the same person. Many of my classmates didn't come that day, and I don't have the slightest memory of what the teacher said that afternoon, as if a heavy rain was just to hone our willpower and make us suffer.

What is the life of the senior year of high school, it is not simply repeating the life of the third year of high school, if the rush and hard work of the third year of high school is endowed with passion like a flame, and the passion carries romantic hope. So the senior year is just ashes after burning, no fireworks, no flames, no passion, just like a gust of wind blowing stagnant water, and after that, it will still be the same eternal silence. When I walked into the classroom, the small classroom accommodated the number of people I didn't dare to imagine before, but the black crowd was just silent like a sculpture, like dead silence, and as if it was no longer human, I didn't see hope in the eyes of anyone in this class, including the teacher, some were just cold, numb, silent learning, and didn't care about everything, just to be on the list after the college entrance examination. I wanted to run, I wanted to run away, but I saw the sweetness in the corner, and at the same time, the picture of the plant growing under the asphalt road came to my mind. I became one of the silencers, but I still wanted to have hope.

Autumn is very hot, the classroom is like a steamer, we are the unnamed thing in the steamer, the teacher listens to the lecture in class, and the teacher does not talk about it and does the questions by himself. No one spoke, no one made small movements, all that could be heard was the rustling of the tip of the pen, the turning of the pages and the dripping of sweat. There wasn't even footsteps, except for going to the toilet, everything was silent mime. In my memory, after each mock test, the teacher would always call the top few in the class to place hope, cheer with words of encouragement, and strive for the sesame seeds to bloom and grow. But here, there is nothing, everything is gone, the results are out and you look it up, no one pays attention, no one asks, those who feel that they have hope will work harder, and those who have no hope have no words, just continue to sit silently, studying, rote memorization, and hard memorization. In other words, we have no encouragement or scolding, we can only insist on persevering until next year's college entrance examination, and we will hold on to the ......

The school wants to meet the standards of the whole, and does not care about the silence of the individual. Tiantian and I seem to be different in silence, we always study together, go home together, encourage together, and share together. I hope that we can not be assimilated by silence, but it is difficult to resist the cruelty of reality after all. Simulation results time and time again clearly tell us that our hopes are impossible, we are silent, we are dead. No one in the class, or in the cage, has ever cried bitterly in the daytime, because in the middle of the night, the tears have long been dried. The winter vacation is only ten days for us, and during these ten days, Tian Tian and I get up at 6 o'clock to go to cram school, there are often snowflakes outside, dark nights, cold winds, soft snow or hard and smooth ice under our feet, there is no romance like described in the poem, there is no at all, there is only pressure and pain.

100-day oath, it's a new time, we swear with all our classmates, declare, but their slogans are loud and passionate, and we here, a few cram schools are just a few more than nothing, I can't help but be angry, but faster than my anger is a sweet action, she snatched the red flag, shook it vigorously, shouted in her own small voice, how big can the broken sound be in the crowd, but there is a huge echo among us, I also shouted, swearing, There was finally a burning hope in my eyes, and gradually, several of our classes also shouted and swore an oath, the voice was loud, and the morale was high, was this an explosion after silence? I don't know, but I know that these 100 days are the final journey.

I lay down on the bed, rolled over casually, and squinted my eyes, but the news of Tian Tian's night market came from my phone, and I thought I should sleep for a while, recuperate, and have a "fight" at night.

After the 100-day pledge, Tiantian's simulation results and I were still very unsatisfactory, but I could only grit my teeth and persevere, and on the 50th day, I felt that I really couldn't hold on. After the third night of self-study, after a while, I looked at the already quiet campus, it was dark, only two or three street lamps were emitting a bit of cold light, and I didn't feel warm. I even wanted to jump down the long hallway from the third floor, where I was tutoring. This corridor is a place where students can recite in the morning and evening, and here I can see the sunrise and sunset, but I can't see my fate. I couldn't help but want to jump, maybe everything would be over, maybe relief would come to me. But in my brain again, the asphalt plant diagram appeared, I struggled, Tian Tian came over, I told her about my breakdown, she told me about her breakdown, but she still insisted, she told me, "All we can move when we work hard is ourselves." But this does not prevent the growth of our own lives. After saying that, she made a gesture, which I still remember, she put her forehead on mine, and in a few moments our tears came out, and I could feel the distance between me and her face filled with tears, and the tears fell to my lips, and I tasted it, and it was salty. We laughed again, how nice could the smiles of two big flowers be, but we were still laughing. On the way back, it rained heavily again, but we were filled with something called faith, and we let the wind and rain blow, and even wanted to "make the storm more violent." When I got home, a few sneezes were inevitable, but my heart was full of sweetness.

In the end, we went ashore, most of our classmates went ashore, yes, we didn't succeed as much as others thought we, but we didn't fail as they did. All we have done is to let ourselves down and regret it. I think that many roads are walking, walking, and persevering, and there will eventually be a bright future. In the fourth year of high school, whether it is long or not, whether it is short or not, I, Peng Xia and Tian Tian have walked down, and none of us know what awaits us in the future, but it is undeniable that we all have the determination and perseverance to go on side by side. Even if there is only one person left, such determination and perseverance will not disappear.

But tonight's plan is clear......