"I won't tell you because we all know the agreement between Shan Xing Shen and the emperor, if you know that Xu Shaohan is Shan Xing Shen, then he will die." Zhang Hengye said.

"Haha......"

I laughed out loud, and for a moment I didn't know what to say or who to blame.

Blame it still? Jiang Fuchuan? Xu Shaohan? Or myself?

"Lu Yanxi ......"

Zhang Hengye patted me on the shoulder, I turned my head sideways to look at him and asked, "Zhang Hengye, how should I survive these nine months?" ”

He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face, and I continued, "I'm so uncomfortable, I may not survive for nine months before I die. ”

"Lu Yanxi, you still have a family. Your brother is dead, and you are the only child left in your Lu family. ”

Zhang Hengye's eyes were a little solemn, but I still didn't have the desire to live.

My family, they never knew who I was, let alone what was going on in my heart, but in fact, I was just living by myself.

I live for others, and who lives for me?

"Didn't you say that you weren't Mo Yi, were you Lu Yanxi? So you don't love Xu Shaohan at all, do you? You love the emperor, why are you so uncomfortable when Xu Shaohan dies? Zhang Hengye asked.

"I don't remember Shan Xingshen, I'm just uncomfortable for the little cold I know. Zhang Hengye, I am Lu Yanxi, I love Jiang Fuchuan, but he loves Mo Yi, he never even believed that I liked him, and he didn't care about my love for him at all. ”

After saying this, Zhang Hengye and I were silent for a long time. My tears also dried up, but I wanted to cry but couldn't cry the most helpless, the most painful.

"Lu Yanxi, why do you think the emperor doesn't care about your love for him?" After a long time, Zhang Hengye spoke.

"If he believed in me and cared about me, then he wouldn't have judged Xu Shaohan to die. As long as he says a word, Xu Shaohan can live. I replied.

"You may have misunderstood the emperor, the emperor also has his helplessness, he is the emperor of Xudu, how can he regret it?"

"What's the big deal. Haven't you ever regretted your word? ”

With that, peace was restored in the dormitory again.

After being silent for a long time again, Zhang Hengye stood up and said, "Let's go, I'll take you back to the present world." ”

"Hmm."

Out of the Hades Palace, down the stone steps of the Pure Heart, we came to the River Styx.

However, there are still many souls on the bridge, but I haven't seen the one that belongs to Xu Shaohan.

On the ferry boat of the River Styx, I casually sang to the foggy river: "When is the bright moon, ask the sky for wine."

I don't know what year it is in the heavenly palace.

I want to go back by the wind, but I am afraid of Qionglou Yuyu.

It's cold in the heights.

Dancing to figure out the shadow, how does it seem to be in the world......

I hope that people will last a long time, and they will be together for thousands of miles......"

My breath was a little unsteady, my voice was a little shaky, and the empty and lonely surface of the River Styx echoed with the sound of high and low, strong and weak.

I hope that people will last a long time, and they will be together for thousands of miles, what a beautiful wish.

However, the heavens do not fulfill people's wishes, they are divided and merged, life and death are separated, and hundreds of millions of souls and lives rise and fall in this vast world.

"Girl, do you know what death is?" The boatman asked suddenly.

"Death means that the vital signs are completely gone, the dead can no longer communicate with the living, all regrets and good things are detained by the world, and consciousness returns to the end." I replied.

The boatman shook his head as he propped up the boat, and said, "No, it's not. When a person dies, the remaining relatives and friends who are still alive remain in pain, and the enemy remains in happiness. But the pain and pleasure will come to an end after all. At that time, it will mean real death. ”

The boatman is right, being forgotten is the real death, Xu Shaohan is still alive in my heart.

"Uncle boatman, are you still alive?" I asked.

The boatman smiled and said, "I, I'm already dead!" Even I don't know who I am anymore. ”

I smiled bitterly too, I don't know who I am now, maybe I'm dead too.

There is no greater mourning than death.

"Girl, there are seven hardships in life, do you know what they are?" The boatman asked.

"The seven sufferings of life, birth, old age, sickness, death, resentment, love, parting, and unbelieving." I replied.

The boatman smiled again and said, "No, no, no, you're wrong again." There are seven sufferings in life, love and parting, can't beg, can't let go, can't forget, can't see through, can't reluctantly, and the heart is dead but can only live. ”

"Love parting...... Can't ask for it...... I can't let it go, I can't forget it, I can't see through it, I can't give it up, my heart is dead but I can only live...... These are the seven hardships of life......"

I repeated the boatman's words, silently affirming his statement in my heart, and now I was experiencing the seven great sufferings of this life at the same time.

"If a person experiences the seven sufferings of life at the same time and dies, can he be liberated?" I asked.

"No, you can't. The seven sufferings must be experienced, and when you die, your memory has not disappeared. The boatman replied.

"What if someone would erase my memory when I die?" I pressed on.

After that, Zhang Hengye grabbed my arm.

"Then only the memory is painful. Death and life are not about escaping pain, as I said earlier, pain is something that must be experienced. People live to find happiness in pain, to avoid regrets in life, and to have nothing to worry about after death. The boatman said.

I nodded and said, "Thank you, I understand." ”

Crossing the river and driving to the shore, Zhang Hengye didn't let go, and directly carried me ashore.

"Let go of me." I said.

Zhang Hengye let go of his hand and asked, "Do you want to die like that?" ”

"No, I still have worries and regrets." I replied.

Zhang Hengye breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Hey, I'm scared to death, if you die in front of me, how can I explain to the emperor, it is estimated that I will have to be cool by then." ”

I sneered, looked at him and asked, "Are you holding my arm for fear that I will implicate you if I die?" ”

Zhang Hengye paused, and then replied: "Then you say, if you jump into the River Styx like this and die in front of me, the emperor will definitely kill me." ”

"Really?"

"Of course! The Emperor actually cares about you! ”

"Really?"

"Of course!"

……

Zhang Hengye had to save me again and again in order not to be implicated, and so did Mr. Han.

Jiang Fuchuan is nothing more than Mo Yi's soul and divine fetus.

And what I care about now is my family and this child.

The parents who gave birth to me were more kind than the sky, and I couldn't be so selfish and die in order not to endure the pain.

People say that whoever is without everyone lives the same, but without me, it seems that there is only Xu Shaohan, although he loves me because of Mo Zhen, but I can feel that he really loves me. At the very least, all the kindness he did to me was real.

Zhang Hengye finished drawing the Qimen Bureau, stood up and said, "Hey, I don't know what the emperor thinks, let me come all the way to pick you up." ”

"Good work."

After that, I walked into the Qimen Bureau.

I thought he was worried about me and came to comfort me. It turned out that it was just sent by Jiang Fuchuan.