Sent away millet and suddenly felt empty in the house.

I took out the phone and dialed Yingying, and soon Yingying answered the phone, I told Yingying that Xiaomi was picked up by her family, Yingying was silent for two seconds and then asked me if I was a little lost.

I was startled when I heard it and quickly said no, Yingying said that it was okay to feel this way, because she believed that I would not change my mind, I felt very guilty after listening, because I was really a little lost, I felt like a mentally cheating man, I was sorry for Yingying's trust in me.

So I told Ying Ying honestly that I felt very lost, but Ying Ying comforted me and said that this was a normal reaction, and also said that if I lived in my house with Xiao Fu for a few days and left suddenly, I would also be lost.

I thought about it and felt that if it was really with Xiaofu, I wouldn't necessarily be disappointed, but I couldn't say it to Yingying, I could only agree with it twice.

I said into the phone, "Yingying, you're so nice"

Yingying said that I haven't seen all her good yet. I felt very lucky after listening to it, I said that she is mine anyway, and all her good will belong to me in the future, Yingying said that her good will be left to her future husband, I laughed after listening, am I not her future husband? I don't allow any variability in this matter.

At noon I drank unconscious, when I was woken up by a burst of firecrackers it was already more than six o'clock in the afternoon, the sound of firecrackers in the Chinese New Year's Eve made the world seem very lively, every household was lit up, and it was estimated that the Spring Festival Gala would be shown on TV for a while, because in previous years my mother was watching the Spring Festival Gala on Chinese New Year's Eve.

I turned on my phone, and there were a few missed calls and a few text messages inside. The missed calls are Yingying and Zhang Jia'an, and Xiaofu, and Chen Moqing's text messages, but I didn't look at them and deleted them directly, and the text messages were still with Xiaofu, saying that I would go to his house for dinner at seven o'clock tonight, and I thought in my heart that their family was happy, and I went to calculate what was going on, so I automatically ignored it. Shao Qiu's message was also to ask me to go to his house for dinner, which was also automatically ignored.

Open Yingying's text message "Honey, I know you will feel lost and helpless when you are alone, don't be sad and sad, if your father is looking for you, go to him, it is better to have relatives by your side during the New Year, I hope you don't put your hatred at ease, your father will definitely want you by your side today, I don't want you to have no one by your side, that's too sad, I will always think about you, you will get better and better".

After reading it, my heart warmed, I looked at my phone and wanted to cry, I sent a message back to Yingying "I've been thinking about you too" and turned off the phone.

I walked out of the house with my car keys.

I bought a lot of fireworks and put them in the trunk, and I had to find a place where no one was around.

I don't know if this is considered drunk driving, because I drank a lot at noon, and now I am still confused, if I were a traffic policeman, I would definitely characterize this as drunk driving.

In the car, I turned up the music to the maximum, it was my first New Year's without a home, and I was sad and sad in my heart, and I was anxious and resentful.

I can't figure out why my mom would kill herself, doesn't she care about me at all? Doesn't she know that when she leaves, I will be left alone every New Year's holiday? Didn't she know I was going to miss her? Doesn't she know that I'm so scared of being alone? Didn't she know that I would have suicidal thoughts?

Since I was a child, I was so happy, but I was so fragile, there were too many things I didn't dare to face, I would also choose to escape, and I am now used to escaping, if I didn't know Yingying, I really wanted to find a cliff to drive the car to 200 per hour and fly out.

Thinking of Yingying, this is the only comfort I have now, and it also gives me a reason to live, for Yingying I will live well, but I will occasionally vent my emotions alone, because it is too uncomfortable to hold my heart.

After driving for more than an hour, I finally didn't know where I went, anyway, there was no one around, and I could set up my big array in this wilderness.

I shine my headlights on the open space and set up the fireworks in a circle. I smoked a cigarette and turned off the headlights.

I lit them one by one with a flashlight, and when I lit the last firework, the first one I lit was about to erupt, and I quickly fled.

A series of fires rose into the sky, exploded at the highest point, and the surroundings suddenly lit up, and one after another explosions came to my ears, and the whole sky was rendered colorful, and the world was also chaotic and quiet.

I was in a bit of a trance, I didn't know if it was the alcohol or the smoke from the fireworks, I seemed to see my mother's face in the fireworks, she was smiling at me, I reached out to hold her, but all I could get in my hand was the cold wind.

Soon all the fireworks burned out, and the world went dark, leaving only a few empty fireworks boxes with a trace of flame jumping.

I am reminded of a fairy tale "The Little Match Girl", could this story be true? I hurriedly turned on the headlights, and then set off another circle of fireworks, and when they were all lit, I immediately ran to the car and turned off the lights, and there was another dazzling and brilliant light, only this time there was no smiling face from my mother, nothing.

I took out my phone and turned it on, and it was almost nine o'clock, and one by one text messages jumped in.

I saw the text message with Xiao Fu and hurriedly called him, this guy text message said that after half past nine o'clock, I have no more news, and he will call the police.

The phone rang and I was picked up, and the stinking scolding almost shook my phone off.

I let him scold but didn't say a word, and when he ran out of words, I said I was fine, and Xiao Fu asked me where I was, I said on a barren mountain, and Xiao Fu's tone suddenly became gentle, yes, it was gentle.

He whispered and told me to go home quickly, he and Shao Qiu were waiting for me together, I asked him why the tone of his voice became so disgusting, and Xiao Fu said nothing, he just didn't want to stimulate me, in case I jumped off the cliff and committed suicide, he would have no place to eat and drink in the future.

I laughed, I told Xiao Fu that I have a perfect girlfriend now so I won't commit suicide for the time being, and Xiao Fu told me to go back first, and then talk about it when I get home.

Hung up the phone, I lit another cigarette, MD, am I a little hypocritical today? It's a bit hypocritical to think about it, and it's a bit ridiculous for a big man to feel self-pity here.

It's time to go, so I doused the sparks on the empty boxes of fireworks with urine, got in the car and drove in the direction of home.

When I arrived in the city an hour later, there were basically no cars on the road, worthy of Chinese New Year's Eve, and they were all reunited at home.

When I arrived at the gate of the community, I called He Xiaofu, he and Shao Qiuren were at my house, I parked the car and got on the elevator, and I was still thinking, these two beasts might not be able to scold me for a while.

When I opened the door, I smelled a fragrance first, my stomach gurgled twice, and I went in to see that I was fiddling with the dog with Xiao Fu Qiaowei, and the dog heard the movement and barked at me twice.

I scolded it directly, MD, who is this? I can't recognize the situation or not, dare to yell at the owner of this house, and stew you for a while.

After hearing this, Qiao Wei immediately picked up the dog and snorted at me. I walked in and threw me a cigarette with Xiaofu, I caught it and lit it and smoked it, Shao Qiu walked out of the kitchen with a basin, and I saw that the dishes in the basin were quite complete.

I asked the two of them if they were not full for Chinese New Year's Eve dinner at home for the New Year?

Shao Qiu looked at me and ignored me, and said to Xiao Fu that he had no appetite for anything he ate without me, and I felt sick to my stomach when I heard it.

I asked Qiao Wei why he wasn't at home for the New Year, and Qiao Wei said that he wanted to be with Xiaofu for the New Year's Eve today.

When I heard this, I glared at these two people who were unscrupulous about throwing dog food.

I pointed to Shao Qiu, and then to Qiao Wei's dog and said, there are two single dogs here.

Qiao Wei smiled and said it should be two and a half, I didn't react for a while and looked at her suspiciously, Qiao Wei smiled and said I am also half a single dog today.

I didn't say anything after listening to it, but the dog barked several times, what does that mean? Is this a protest? I thought to myself, could it be that you are a single dog, and you have been wronged.

The dog kept looking at me, I was wondering what was wrong with this dog, and suddenly remembered that I had a close contact with it one morning, MD This dog can't rely on me, saying that it is a single dog and it is not happy and keeps looking at me, what does this TM mean? Do you want to hold me accountable? Do you want me to give me a name?

This dog gave me goosebumps when he saw me, Qiao Wei must have guessed what I thought when he saw my expression, because it was impossible not to share my embarrassment with Qiao Wei, she laughed out loud, and then laughed with Xiao Fu, and finally Shao Qiu also laughed, MD I want to die, this Chinese New Year is not to let people eat a good hot pot?

Everything is ready, the wine is also poured, I was about to fish the mutton into the bowl, Qiao Wei stopped me, she held up her orange juice and looked at me, I saw that this was going to do something, so I put down the colander and picked up the wine glass, I wanted to touch a glass of it, you are orange juice and Xiao Fu are not orange juice, see if I don't drink him for a while, when you are distressed.

I touched Qiao Wei's wine glass and was about to drink it all, Qiao Wei said let me make a speech before drinking, I asked what the testimonial, Qiao Wei looked at Xiao Fu Shao Qiu, and then said let me make a summary of last year, and they want to hear my plans for the new year.

I listened and asked them if I could finish this cup and then take a few bites of meat before speaking.

They shook their heads in unison, and I thought about it, '08 was really a different year for myself, my mom left me at the beginning of the year, and it was a destruction for me. I didn't commit suicide, but I was like a walking corpse.

It was also this year that I met Yingying, I was reborn again, the beauty brought to me by love gave me a soul as a walking corpse, I am not so pessimistic, I feel that it is still beautiful to be alive.

After organizing the language, I cleared my throat and solemnly said, "Today is the last day of 2008, I hope everyone eats and drinks well," and then I raised my glass and drank it all.

And Xiao Fu and they don't buy my account, but there is no way, and Xiao Fu and Shao Qiu know me very well, they know that I am a dead person, and they won't say anything when they don't want to say anything, Qiao Wei doesn't know me very well, but seeing that they both raised their wine glasses and drank it, she also took a sip of juice.

Put down the cup Shao Qiu said I hope I can cheer up in 09, I nodded, in this year, from after my mother left to before I met Yingying, I really don't remember anything else, I really look like a person who has lost my soul, I have changed from a good student to a bad person who can smoke and drink, not afraid of fighting, and dare to enter the game, now I should really do something, in order to give Yingying a good life in the future, I want to change.