1

I've been in Yunnan for a month, Yunnan is really a good place, all the good things can be used in this place, the only thing that is not good is myself.

Missing is like a maggot on the tarsal bone, I can't do it that day without thinking about Yingying, every time I think about her, I am the happiest, but also the saddest.

I think it's actually quite boring to be alive. Because in addition to not being burdened when I was a child, I can't live for myself when I grow up.

But when I was a child, I didn't have a burden, but I didn't know anything, and I lived in a daze.

When everyone grows up, they don't live for themselves, so who is they living for?

If they don't live for themselves, then there is always a source, everyone lives for each other's families, but you can't eat and sleep well for me, and I can't eat and sleep well for you, why can't you eat your own and live your own?

Or should there be no family, everyone is independent, just like an orphan. This doesn't seem to be good, and people who think this way should be people like me who don't have the right three views.

Think about it well, it is best for people to have a family, and they can take care of each other with family life, but parents should give their children a little free space, grasp a degree, and a happy home is desirable.

After watching a lot of people who commit suicide, I began to think that they were so brave that they dared to jump off the building if they were good, and now I know that they are all cowards, because they are not afraid of death, but they are afraid of living.

I think I dare to die now, because I have realized the truth that "living is the process of waiting for death", and it is "waiting for death with all kinds of suffering", but I am not even afraid of death, am I still afraid of living? ?

Those who dare to live are the real warriors.

Contradictory, the psychological side of the idea is tangled and can't be expressed, it's really like your whole body is full of strength, your muscles have skyrocketed several times, your fists are creaking, you really want to find a bad guy to fight, but standing in front of you is a cute little girl, your fists can't greet her.

The power of grievance is really powerful, there is nowhere to vent emotions, no one can understand you, as if you are the other in this world. In fact, everyone has a story, it's just that some people are good at disguise, and I will also disguise, but someone can always see through me at a glance.

If I jump off the building one day, no, no, no, I can't jump off the building, so as not to cause bad consequences and affect everyone's vision and mood.

What if one day I jump off a cliff, it can't be too high, because it will be ugly when I land, and more importantly, what if I am scared in the air, if I regret it in the air, wouldn't there be nothing I can do at all?? At that time, the intestines were repentant and couldn't stop me from falling down to fate, but it couldn't be too low, because I landed at the moment when I didn't enjoy flying, wouldn't it be very wronged, and most importantly, it was too low, and I didn't die when I fell half-crippled. Ah~~~~~~~ isn't that worse???? Then it's really better to live than to die!!

2

My new mobile phone number was only given to Zhang Jia'an and He Xiaofu, and Zhang Jia'an was still at ease with me, because he knew that even if he wasn't at ease, it would be useless.

Last time, Zhang Jia'an said that when I got better, there was something to show me, it was a letter left by my mother, which was kept in my car, and it was never opened, I can't think of what she would leave for me, I guess maybe it was to let me live well or something.

I didn't call He Xiaofu directly with my mobile phone number, I used the public phone to tell He Xiaofu that my mobile phone number must not be leaked, otherwise my friend would have to do it.

He Xiaofu repeatedly assured me that I would tell him my mobile phone number. I asked him if he had any information about Shao Qiu, and Xiao Fu said no, and when we talked about Shao Qiu, we would be silent for a while, as if we were mourning.

I don't often talk to He Xiaofu on the phone, and I don't let He Xiaofu call me often, because in addition to Shao Qiu, He Xiaofu will also mention Yingying to me, and I don't dare to listen.

He Xiaofu told me that Yingying had looked for him in the two days I had just left, but he really didn't have my phone number at that time, so he couldn't help her.

I told Xiaofu that Yingying's eyes had been red for the past two days, and I interrupted him before I finished speaking, I didn't dare to listen, I was afraid that I couldn't help but go to her.

My heart hurt like someone was rubbing a file back and forth on my heart, and the pain really became a real pain.

and Xiaofu said that I am a scumbag, I don't deny this, I can't find a solution, make a girl sad, then I am a scumbag, and I think I'm worse than a scumbag.

I found a job in Yunnan, sales, and I couldn't tell the difference between night and day when I was busy, and slowly I adapted to this kind of life.

Developing a habit is very fast, unconsciously, some people who think they can't accept it, the life they hate, slowly accept and adapt to it under the seemingly no other choice, and the environment and people around me will one day be what I miss, not how beautiful these are, but I already have a habit and an unspeakable tacit understanding.

In hindsight, I have already accepted all this.

3

One day I had nothing to do after work, and Xiao Fu happened to call, saying that he was playing a game from Tencent recently, especially fun, I was curious to apply for an account, and Xiao Fu said that there is no need to apply, just have a QQ number, I forgot what my QQ number is, tried to log in a few times, and finally landed successfully.

When the QQ login was successful, I saw a familiar avatar jumping, it was a small Pikachu, and my avatar was a pair.

I didn't know what to be afraid of, so I gritted my teeth and opened the dialog box

"Maybe I'm just a passerby in your life, but you won't meet a second me, but if you are willing to grasp it, you can't lose me."

A simple sentence, I just glanced at it and was about to lose control, I looked at the date and sent it today, could it be that he Xiaofu deliberately designed it for me to see?

After thinking about it, I called Xiao Fu, and Xiao Fu said that Ying Ying would ask him if he had any news of me every week, and he didn't dare to give her the phone, so he thought of letting her leave a message with QQ, and then let me see the stupid method of leaving a message.

I couldn't get angry, I hung up the phone and sat there in a quiet daze.

I want to give myself another chance.

I can't suppress myself, if we don't have Yingying's mother to stop it, I won't let Yingying go, if Yingying's birthday didn't happen so much, it would be great.

If I do propose to you, and you say "I do," then the three words that make me cheer and get excited are the three words in the world that make me cheer and get excited, and it trumps "I love you," because "I love you" is what I am responsible for saying to you.

But there is no if, I don't want you to blame yourself, so I have to embarrass myself.

Why can't there be such a wine as drunkenness, dreams, and death?

People say that a person has troubles because he has a good memory,

In fact, if you only remember good things, it is not a good thing.

But my good memory only remembers you ...

4

Spring, I miss you, I miss you sitting quietly looking at my eyes

In the summer, I miss you, I miss the sway of your high ponytail

Autumn, I miss you, miss your smiling face

In winter, I miss you, and I miss the little mouth that pouts slightly when you're unhappy

During the day I miss you, miss the flowiness of your white dress

I miss you at night, my sad but stubborn back

I'm thinking about you when the hour hand is turning, and I'm thinking about you when the minute hand is turning

I'm in love with you when the second hand turns