Would you feel sorry for me if I died?

"Fourth sister, what's wrong with you?" Yizhu's anxious voice came from the mobile phone, which recalled Mo Qingqian's thoughts of not knowing where he went.

"What can't you die, you sister Zhu is timid, don't scare me."

It turned out that in a trance, she actually said what she wanted to ask.

"It's nothing, I just want to tell you that I have already thought of the name of the book, it's called Giving the Star, and I'll use that star to the beginning of the poem."

"Give the stars? Yes, I'll get back to the publisher later. Yizhu hesitated for a moment, and asked uneasily: "Fourth sister, are you really okay?" ”

Mo Qingqian walked to the balcony, looked at the snowflakes flying outside the window, stretched out his hand, the snowflakes were slowly melting in the cold palm, and a drop oozed from his fingers, like someone's tears.

"Sister Zhu, I'm a little ...... How to say, at a loss, I can't see the way forward, I can't see my heart clearly, I don't know what I really want. "It's like now she doesn't know what she's talking about, she has a belly full of words, but her brain is so messy that she can't organize these small words into a complete language.

In the end, she only asked the most wanted answer: "How can I repay him?" ”

But Yizhu asked her: "Do you want to make yourself feel less guilty about your so-called repayment, or are you really thinking about him?" ”

Hit the nail on the head.

Mo Qingqian was speechless, and after a long time, he said in a muffled voice: "It's very selfish, isn't it?" I also thought, how can I be so selfish, he is so good to me, but I can't give him anything, I can't give him the love and love he wants, and I can't give him a future. ”

"You're not wrong," Ichitake reassured her, "although I also feel unworthy for him, but if you are with him because of guilt, it will undoubtedly be a harm to you and to him, you will not be happy, and neither will he"

"He loves you, and I believe you know that, and you're asking this question because you know what to do, but you don't want to, right?"

Mo Qing sighed deeply, with a helpless smile on the corner of her mouth: "I have a boyfriend who studies psychology, it's really different." ”

There was no answer on the phone for a long time, and she called out suspiciously: "Sister Zhu-"

"I broke up with him." A calm voice came from the phone.

"Why?" Mo Qingqian was incredulous, "I heard Erlan say, didn't he already propose to you?" ”

"There's no why." Yizhu's voice was muffled through the microphone, "It's just not suitable." ”

But she said: "Qing Qian, I don't want you to be like me, for the sake of an impossible person, and let down a person who really loves you." ”

She said: "There are many people in this world who like you and care about you, but there will never be a person who loves you as much as he does." ”

After hanging up the phone, Mo Qingqian's heart was even more upset. It was freezing outside the window, and she was as cold as ice all over her body, only the ring on her chest was so warm.

Yun Peichen would always ask her, if he hadn't left at the beginning, would they not have ended up like this? If he had mustered up the courage to recognize her at that time, would the light in her life be him?

She didn't answer each time, deliberately pretending not to hear, and then casually changing the subject, he always shook his head helplessly, followed her words, and kept silent about these questions.

How would she answer? It's not that she hasn't thought about this problem, but if this is their fate, no matter what decision he made in the first place, the outcome will not change. Why hope for the past that has already happened, fantasize about the impossible, and push yourself into the abyss of guilt and self-blame?

She was already very satisfied with such an ending, everything she had longed for had returned to her, the short sun, the last moonlight, she really didn't dare to ask for anything more.

The only hope is that she wants the people she cherishes to have a good ending, whether it is him, or the person who is far away in the world, or Qingyi, Qingran, Yan Ze, Bing'an, Bingfan, Coco, Grandma Dean, Grandpa Yun, Aunt Jiang...... She wants them to be safe for the rest of their lives. She will watch over them in heaven and watch them rejoice through their lives.

A cold wind blew, the frozen Mo Qingqian shivered, coughed lightly, and tried a fishy sweetness in her throat, put down her hand and looked, the bright red blood stabbed her eyes. She thought she was already very indifferent, but when she felt that her body was getting worse, she was still very scared and panicked.

Who can not be afraid of death?

Mo Qingqian walked to the table, took out a piece of paper to wipe the blood on his hands, and looked at the things on the table casually.

The doctor is indeed a doctor, and the table is full of medical books, all kinds of things, and some of the human body structure drawings he drew himself, densely packed with various logos, which she can't understand.

Then she saw a photo, an ordinary photo, and the people in the photo were Yun Peichen and Qi Yan. Qi Yan wears a pink rabbit ear on his head, a pair of sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, and a pair of scissors on his cheek with one hand. And Yun Peichen on the side also wore a pink rabbit ear on his head, and his face was loveless, and his lips were pursed into a straight line.

can make him show such an expression indifferently and coldly, it is estimated that Qi is the only one in the world.

Mo Qing smiled lightly and got up to leave, but suddenly seemed to feel something, she picked up the photo and put it in front of her eyes to look at it carefully, and finally saw the figure reflected in the sunglasses.

He also wore a headband with rabbit ears, holding a mobile phone in both hands, covering most of his face, but the eyes that could be exposed, she indulged in dreams every night, and she would never admit that it was him, it was him!

What's going on? Is it a coincidence? Or do they already know each other?

It must be accidental, it must be!

But if she really believed that it was accidental, if she really believed him, she wouldn't have called Qi Yan, she wouldn't have fallen into despair again, and she wouldn't have forced each of them into a desperate situation.

The snow seemed to be falling heavily again, and when Yun Peichen came back with Xiao Ruo Xiaoen, there were many snowflakes floating on his hair and clothes, and he hung his umbrella on the door and patted it casually.

Mo Qingqian watched his movements, her vision suddenly became a little blurred, and she heard his voice, which seemed to be floating from a long distance: "The snow is falling again, when you go out, remember to wear a little more, don't be as uncomfortable as a rice ball, it's not worth it to freeze your body." "It's still the same long-winded concern.

She couldn't hear what her voice was saying, only him chattering there, with a gentle smile on his face.

But she's so cold, so cold......

"Sister, sister, Xiao En, it's back!"

Mo Qingqian came back to her senses at this time, exhaled a breath of turbidity, with a bright smile on her face, and hugged Xiao En who rushed towards her.

"Xiao En, are you having fun at the winter camp?"

The little girl nodded, raised her white and tender little face, blinked her big eyes, and asked, "Sister, do you have, do you want to be a little en?" ”

Mo Qingqian gently pinched her chubby face, and said with a smile: "Yes, of course I do." ”

"Really? Xiao En, I want to do it too, sister!"

As soon as he finished speaking, he was pulled up by Xiao Ruo, and said in a serious tone: "Xiao En has grown up, don't be too clingy to my sister, you know?" ”

Xiao En nodded ignorantly: "Got it." ”

Mo Qing looked at Xiao Ruo and said, "You take Xiao En to the room to play for a while, I have something to tell your brother." ”

After the two left, she looked at Yun Peichen and didn't know why she was a little sad.

Yun Peichen was obviously aware of something unusual, and there was nervousness and uneasiness hidden in his clear eyes: "What's wrong?" ”

Mo Qingqian didn't speak, only took his hand and walked into the room, Xiao Ruo was secretly watching them.

When she entered the room, she immediately let go of her hand and asked him again and again: "You have known Jiangye for a long time, haven't you?" ”

"You've known about him for a long time, haven't you?"

"You've been lying to me all along, haven't you?"

Yun Peichen's face became more and more frightened and nervous as she asked, his lips moved, but he couldn't say anything.

Mo Qingqian already knew the answer, but she still wanted him to tell her in person, as long as he said no, she still believed it.

"Don't lie to me, Yan Banyue, you've lied to me many times."

In Mo Qingqian's expectant gaze, Yun Peichen nodded slowly but firmly: "Yes." ”

A trembling and hoarse "yes" completely defeated Mo Qingqian.

Her hands trembled uncontrollably, and her breathing became difficult.

Yun Peichen hurriedly stepped forward: "Star! You can't get excited, you wait for me to talk to you, okay? ”

But Mo Qingqian took a step back, dodging the hand he wanted to hold her. She looked at the anxious expression on his face with teary eyes, the worry in her eyes, how ironic it was at this moment.

"Why?" She asked him in a dumb voice, still unable to believe it, "You obviously said that you wouldn't lie to me, why?!" ”

She was so hoarse, so it wasn't surprising that she coughed up blood. On the contrary, he looked nervous and worried, but in her eyes it was ridiculous.

What to laugh at? Laugh at the world, laugh at herself.

She swallowed the blood in her throat, wiped the tears from her face, and stared at him motionlessly: "Yun Peichen......"

She called him, Yun Peichen......

Yun Peichen bit his lip tightly, unable to believe his ears.

Before, when everything hadn't changed, when he hadn't left, and she hadn't met that person, she would call him "Yan Banyue", a name she had to come up with for a week.

She pointed to the moon in the sky and comforted him: "You are the moon in the sky, and the moon has become round because I met the stars, and the stars don't like the thin two-pointed moon, so the moon eats and eats hard, and finally becomes a round moon, and is happily with the stars."

And the reason why you became round is because you met me, I like you like to be so chubby, like a glutinous rice dumpling, how cute! ”

He asked her why he was given this name?

She said, "Because you were originally half of the moon, and you became a full moon after you met me!" ”

It turns out that this is the case, and his life is truly complete because of her.

Whenever she asked for his help, she would always pull his arm, shake it, she would sweetly call him "Brother Yanyue", as soon as she heard such words, his whole heart was like being filled with honey, and the sweetness was almost gone. So, even if it was an unreasonable request, even if she asked him to pick the brightest star in the sky, he would nod his head without hesitation.

He didn't expect that one day, she would call him "Yun Peichen" so indifferently.

From that moment on, he knew that everything was over.

He looked up at his star, tears glistening in his eyes, and he couldn't explain anything in the face of her questioning.

He heard her cold voice, and said mercilessly: "Yun Peichen, from the day you said goodbye, you are no longer my Yanbanyue, and I am not your star anymore, our distance has become so far, far away......" Her voice was crying, and she said sadly, "We can't go back to the past, and it is impossible to go back to the past......

He knows, he knows, but how can he accept it, the girl he has known and gently cared for for ten years, and the girl who once said righteously that he wanted to marry him, how could he like someone else? Why is he so far away from him? How can you say that they are not suitable, that it is impossible?

How did it all come to this?