"I know...... I know I'm not as good as others, I deserve to be beaten, I deserve to be dumped, I'm a complete loser! Don't you just want to see my jokes! Now you see it, are you satisfied? ”

Although the insulting words I said to Meng Hao and Lin Wei in the hotel just now made me feel a little pleasure of revenge.

But in my heart I knew very well that I was a complete failure, especially the moment I met Meng Hao I understood the gap between me and him.

If I have a property of tens of millions and hundreds of millions, a woman like Lin Wei is not how much or how much.

On the one hand, he wanted to take revenge on them, but he also wanted to regain a little bit of his humble existence.

Although I am not as successful as him, not as rich as him, not as handsome as him, but at least I once had the woman he has now, if I compare Lin Wei to a commodity, at least when it is in my hands, it will be more valuable, it is because I don't want it that he let him pick it up.

When I came out of the hotel, my mood began to slowly decline, and I knew that Mu Xichun didn't mean to laugh at me about this, but at this moment my nerves were already on the verge of being extremely sensitive, no matter what she said, I could imagine that she was laughing at my failure.

Sure enough, Mu Xichun was stunned by my words, and closed her mouth and stopped talking. After a while, he whispered tentatively: "You know I didn't mean that, I was wrong, I apologize to you!" ”

I couldn't help but feel a little unbearable when I saw her expression that instantly became cautious, after all, I knew that she didn't mean that, I was just using her to force myself to admit that I was a failure, and besides, she did me a great favor in the hotel, so that I would not lose face.

"It's okay, I just want to be quiet."

"Actually, I just want to say, parents who suffer from the body, don't you think about your own parents if you don't care for your body like this, they should know how worried they should be if you drink and fight like this! Every child is a parent's ......"

"Wait...... Stop it! I interrupted her, and a certain sore spot in my heart was inadvertently plucked by her, and a sudden pain was inexplicably involved.

It dawned on me that it had been a terrible night, that all the old and new wounds had been torn apart at my fragile soul tonight, consciously or unconsciously.

"Stop!" I said to the hotel where I was driving.

The car stopped on the side of the road.

"What are you going to do?" Mu Xichun hurriedly asked.

I ignored her, opened the car door and got out of the car.

She followed, stepped forward to hold my somewhat shaky body and asked, "Why did you get out of the car, what do you want to do?" ”

"I want to be quiet, you go, I'll go back by myself!" I gently pushed away her hand and walked forward.

"Hey, what did I say wrong, what's wrong with you?" Mu Xichun chased a few steps and asked.

I ignored her and continued to walk forward, at this moment I was not even in the mood to speak, my heart was desolate like a desert, I could not see a trace of what I called hope, I just wanted to find a place where no one was, and quietly integrate myself into this dead night.

Mu Xichun fed behind me a few times, and finally gave up when she saw that I didn't have the slightest intention of looking back, and I heard her footsteps stay behind me for a long time. It took a while for the car to pass me, and without any further stops, it disappeared in a few moments.

The world is finally quiet, the whole world seems to be the only one left, even the car on the road is pitiful, occasionally a car drives by like a creature from another world, coming and going from an unknown place.

No one would make a short stay for me, a lonely passerby, and I feel like I've been forgotten from time, and I have to admit that I love it.

I took out a cigarette, but the lighter was gone, I suddenly became irritable, pervertedly crumpled the cigarette into a ball and threw it into the sky, the tobacco was blown in the air by the night wind for a while, and finally fell quietly back to the ground.

My decadent ass sits on the side of the road, what I can't escape is not escaping after all, no matter how light things are, I can't escape this small planet, everything in the world seems to have its rightful belonging, and where is my belonging......

I think of my childhood, I think of that dilapidated little mountain village, I think of my mother......

But I have already lost all of this piece by piece, and I can never get it back, and I can never go back.

"Mom, I miss you so much!"

I looked at the flickering stars in the sky and said silently in my heart, tears couldn't help but want to flow out and I raised my head and swallowed back, only to feel a bitterness in my throat.

I'm not a person who likes to miss the past, but there are some things that I can't forget in this life, like embedded in the depths of my soul, and I will be entangled with it in this life.

On this night, once again, I couldn't help but fall into the broken memories hidden behind the time.

I think of my melancholy childhood, I think of my mother's equally sad face in different scenes, I think of her deathbed admonition to live a good life and be a good person, I think of the two lines of tears that still hang on her face until her last breath......

I don't know how long it took, but I forgot about time for a while, until a pair of feet appeared in front of me.

"Are you crying?"

A woman's voice came, and this woman's voice was simply not familiar to me.

Who else could there be but Mu Xichun, but why did she go and return when she was already gone? Did she forget something? Or did she come back to me on purpose?

Her words reminded me at once, and I felt a warmth on my face, and it turned out that tears were flowing all over my face unconsciously. I slapped my face indiscriminately.

The tone pretended to be tough: "Who...... Who cried, what did he say, didn't he see that the wind was so strong, couldn't he be blind? ”

"Okay, okay, you didn't cry, can you leave now?" She said in a tone that saw through everything, and I couldn't help but feel red.

"Aren't you leaving, what are you doing when you come back, don't I say I'll go back by myself, don't you want to be so annoying!" I complained.

"You go back by yourself? Then why don't you go back and sit alone on the side of the road crying......"

"Alas...... I'm not saying I'm not crying, I'm ......"

"Okay, okay, I know, you're not crying, you're blind! Shall we go back now? Her tone seemed to be coaxing a child.

“……”

"You go, come, come, get up, alas, you are so heavy......," she didn't wait for me to speak, but reached out and grabbed my arm to pull me up from the curb of the road.

I looked at her with a strained look, shook my head angrily, and stood up.

When I stood up, I saw that her car was parked about 30 meters away, the lights in the car were still on, and the hotel driver was gone.

"You drove it yourself?" I asked, confused.

"yes!"

"Didn't you drink too much? Can you still drive? ”

"You don't look at what time it is, although I was a little drunk at the time, but in fact I couldn't drink enough, in fact, I didn't drink much. In addition, I drank two bowls of decanting soup at the hotel, so the strength of the wine came and went quickly. I'm sober now! ”

I stared at her face for a few seconds, and I didn't see the slightest hint of drunkenness, but I briefly recalled the scene of the night, and it was exactly as she said.

Looking at my current sloppy appearance, which was mixed with the smell of alcohol and vomit, I suddenly felt like I was being calculated by their partners.

"I hope you don't get caught by the traffic police, they won't care if you're sober or not!" I teased.

"Alright, not so unlucky, you're my gospel!" She laughed as she shoved me into the passenger seat.

"Come on, I don't want to be used by you anymore, you knew that tonight would be this situation and deliberately asked me to be a shield, you should not look for me in the future! It's not a good thing to be with you! ”

"Hey, I didn't take advantage of you, you took the initiative to take care of yourself tonight, but it has nothing to do with me!" She started the car and said casually, as if it really had nothing to do with her.

I couldn't help but feel a little angry: "Do you have a little conscience, I helped you so much, and you actually said that it has nothing to do with you?" Can't you see who they are? I knew that you were so unconscionable, so I didn't bother to care about you, so I let those two pig heads get you drunk and take advantage of you! ”

"So you're afraid that I'll be taken advantage of by them, it seems that you care about me!" Mu Xichun kept smiling when I said this, and when I finished speaking, he turned his face sideways and looked at me with a smile and said.

Mu Xichun's question made me stunned, and the anger just now suddenly turned into nothing, and I said in a stammering voice: "I...... I didn't care about you, I just couldn't get used to the obscene faces of those two pigs, if I had known that you were so conscienceless, I wouldn't care about you. ”

Mu Xichun didn't speak again, just drove the car with a smile on his face, seemed to be in a good mood, and turned on the music.

Cai Qin's rich mezzo-soprano suddenly filled this small space: "Who is knocking on my window, who is stirring the strings, that forgotten time gradually rises out of my heart......"

As I listened to the melodious singing and looked at the passing street scene outside the window, I felt my heart soften little by little.

"Where do you live?" The car drove for a while, and she asked.

"Rhine Community, Hubin Road." I say.

She stopped talking, and the car fell silent again. Until she pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"Remember here?" She asked suddenly.

I was a little puzzled, I put down the window and carefully identified it by the street lamp, but I didn't think there was anything worth seeing here after looking at it for a long time.

I looked back and was about to ask her what she meant, when I suddenly saw the bus stop sign outside through her window, and I immediately understood what she meant.