"Leaving early tomorrow morning? All packed? ”

Xu Chaoyu was drinking tea, choked on a sip, put down the teacup, and glanced up at Xu Tingbao. Xu Tingbao rarely speaks like this and says such "nonsense". He shook his head, "What is there to clean up." ”

For more than a decade, he has always returned to India with a bag on his back.

"It's good to bring more tea."

Xu Chaoyu glanced at the coffee table on the side of the sofa, and as soon as he entered the door, he saw seven or eight cylinders of tea, the packaging was simple and sparse, and it was not from an ordinary tea shop. He still muttered in his heart, this is really not Xu Tingbao's style. "No wonder you let me taste the tea leaves, I thought you were old and ambitious, and you wanted to enter the tea industry."

Xu Tingbao smiled and sighed again, "I didn't expect it to be ...... You're going to India again. He thought for a moment and said, "Come back often." I'll open a tea shop, and you should come back and get some new tea. ”

"Aren't you going to see me?"

Xu Tingbao shook his head resolutely, wanting to say something, but stopped again.

Xu Chaoyu patted Xu Tingbao's hand lightly and nodded, "It's time for you to open a tea shop." Sail Science will become better in Shaoyang's hands. ”

Xu Shaoyang was originally happy and leisurely, drinking tea and listening to the brothers chatting with peace of mind, and when he heard that the topic was on him, he kicked back with a smile, "I'm done, I must buy the two largest shops on Huaihai Road, next to each other, one sells Chinese tea, and the other sells Indian tea." Second uncle, you have to cheer. ”

In the midst of laughter, the mobile phone rang, Xu Shaoyang glanced at it, got up and apologized, "Sissi will be here soon, I'll go out to walk with her." Dad, second uncle, you drink tea slowly. ”

Xu Tingbao waved his hand, and Xu Chaoyu picked up the teacup and agreed slightly. Xu Shaoyang walked out of the sofa, and Xu Chaoyu suddenly said, "Shaoyang, be patient." In this family, only you can help her. ”

Xu Shaoyang was slightly stunned, looking at Xu Chaoyu deeply, he didn't talk much when he drank tea, let alone mentioned his plan, how could Xu Chaoyu see it. He nodded and walked out of the house, behind him Xu Tingbao seemed to ask something softly, and Xu Chaoyu also said softly, "Let's have tea." The affairs of young people are left to the young people to solve themselves. ”

Perhaps, in the past years, Xu Chaoyu was the one who really cared about Xu Qianqian, and it was he who supported Xu Qianqian's heart and kept it from slipping. Xu Shaoyang was thinking so all the way.

The two walked along the street and walked silently for a long time. The neighborhood is full of streets like this, with sidewalks almost as wide as driveways, no guardrails separating them, allowing people to walk through at will, and preserving some kind of illusion of full life. There are not many vehicles coming and going, and pedestrians are even more scarce, and the branches and leaves of plane trees on the side of the street stretch out, blocking the sky and the sun, blocking the sunlight in the air, and walking on the street is quiet and even cold.

"I've always been proud." Xu Shaoyang spoke, his eyes kept staring ahead.

"Hmm!" Xu Qianqian nodded sincerely, when they were in the UK, the two often met, and Xu Shaoyang often came to her apartment to help her with all kinds of affairs that should be handled by men. Although he is very familiar and even intimate in life, although Xu Shaoyang is gentle and caring, Xu Qianqian has a vague conviction that it is difficult to enter his heart, he can touch it, but he can't go in. It was a hard, unbelievable place, and she felt proud.

"The proudest thing is to have you as a sister."

"You're laughing again."

"There's a kind of ...... in you that can't be hidden. Flame. Once, I went to pick you up for dinner, and you had just come out of the Tate Gallery, and I saw you from afar. You will shine in the crowd as well. It's as if you're the only one there, and nothing else is bleak. ”

"Do you really think so?" Xu Qianqian didn't know why, and her tone was a little nervous.

Xu Shaoyang turned his head to look at her. Xu Qianqian's heart beat violently, as if something invisible struck her heart from an unseen direction. This look, this look she saw somewhere. She took a deep breath. Zhang Wenfeng. The slush claws that had never been in her memory flashed in front of her at this time, and when she was younger, Zhang Wenfeng looked at her with this kind of eyes. I don't remember what the scene was, maybe it was at a dinner, maybe it was at a work meeting, maybe she said something, Zhang Wenfeng looked at her, this look. More than once. Now she vaguely felt that there was no doubt in this look of surprise. Why don't you know it yourself?! Even, she remembered that Liu Ruiyang had vaguely similar eyes when he looked at her, when she swayed calmly.

"What kind of person do you think you are? What are you really like? Xu Shaoyang asked her. Xu Qianqian was silent for a long time, capturing the vague and subtle feeling.

"Light, but also very powerful. There are a lot of things, I can see inside, shake hands with inside, but I'm not inside, it's like I'm standing in the middle. She said slowly.

Xu Shaoyang looked at the little girl-like look on her face, couldn't help but smile, and then asked, "Tell me seriously, what kind of person do you desire to be the most?" ”

Xu Qianqian walked forward and walked under a circle of light. After all, when the plane trees that shade the sky and the sun have branches and leaves, the sunlight stubbornly casts down, shining a small light, which is very dazzling in the continuous shade. She stopped, let the light shine in her hair, and said, "I always see a picture of me dressed in smart clothes, under the light, holding nothing in my hands, no glasses, no pens, no scepters. I stood in front of a lot of people, with partners, rivals, powerful strangers, and unpredictable fellow travelers, and I waved my hands and looked at all of them, talking about something. I will not conquer the world, and the world will not conquer me. But I will...... Will change something. ”

"I've discovered since I was a child that you're not an ordinary little woman, and you're by no means a thing in the pool." Xu Shaoyang said softly, "You have a pattern that many men don't have, you should belong to a larger world, use your nature and talents, and create something better than men." You understand now, why am I most proud of you?! ”

"If one day I become like this, I will be proud."

"Sister, you're wrong!" Xu Shaoyang looked at Xu Qianqian under the light, shook his head and said, "Pride is a process, not a result. ”

Xu Qianqian turned her head sharply, and the sun shone on her face.

"It's your desire – not your desire – that makes you a proud person. Only wishes, no desires, no actions, will only become a pathetic tragedy. Desire will give you what you will be now and will put you on the right path in the first place. ”

Xu Shaoyang paused, and suddenly looked at Xu Qianqian, "Have you walked on that road?" ”

Panic quietly attacked Xu Qianqian, she nodded slightly, frowned, and shook her head slightly, her face a little dazed.

Xu Shaoyang took Xu Qianqian's arm and led her forward. There was an intersection in front, and the two turned in, it was an alley, and the smell of fireworks in the world suddenly became stronger.

"You told me about you and Huang Ligong. I don't say anything, but I think you can feel it. ”

Xu Qianqian pursed her lips.

"You didn't tell Dad, you must think that he will have the same attitude, and you are afraid that he will object. Actually, Dad knows. ”

"Huh?"

"Hey, his own daughter, he can tell. He wanted you to ask Huang Ligong to come over, but I stopped him. ”

"Why?" Xu Qianqian was even more puzzled.

"You guessed it wrong, Dad might like Huang Ligong."

"So you're going to stop him?"

"Do you know why I'm a little dismissive of you and Huang Ligong being together?"

Xu Qianqian clasped her hands in front of her chest, smiled lightly, and did not speak. It's good to have some words that we understand each other, but if you can't say them, it becomes another problem. However, Xu Shaoyang didn't intend to let the conversation float on the water, and said clearly, "Do you think I think I don't think he is a good person?" Think he's a young man in a small town, climbing the dragon and attaching the phoenix? ”

"What's the reason for that?"

"You look down on me too much, don't you?" Xu Shaoyang was stunned, "I objected because he was not worthy of you." ”

"Isn't that the same thing?!"

"It's not that he is not worthy of Sail Science and Technology, and he is not worthy of Xu Tingbao's daughter. He is not worthy of Xu Qianqian. ”

Xu Qianqian was stunned, stood still, and shook her head instinctively, "It's not ......"

Xu Shaoyang immediately asked, as if he was chasing a horse thief who revealed his whereabouts. "What does he say about you being Xu Tingbao's daughter?"

"He doesn't know about my relationship with Cellkor."

"How did he get the investment from the Industrial Fund?"

"I took the initiative to ......," Xu Qianqian stopped talking abruptly.

"Sissi, you've lived in your imagination for too long, and you've started to think of self-deception as real." Xu Shaoyang was merciless and nodded coldly, "He can't pull in the investment with all his efforts, you will come to 50 million with one recommendation, and he has no doubt about your identity at all." Is it stupid or bad? ”

"People always have blind spots, and they may just not think this way."

"He will have a blind spot when he goes to the mall to buy clothes, I believe that. Capital, resources and talents are the three core things of an entrepreneur, do you want to believe that he has a blind spot?! Seeing that Xu Qianqian didn't speak, Xu Shaoyang continued, "Who put the door as the right one, climbing the dragon and the phoenix in his heart, and waiting for it?" Huang Ligong or me? If he asks you frankly and takes both you and Sail Kegong seriously, I will recognize that he is more qualified and more worthy of you. ”

Xu Qianqian's face was tense, and her expression was uncertain.

"Human emotions are not a question of worthiness or not." Xu Shaoyang decided to relax, "I have no prejudice against Huang Ligong, he incorporated Li Yi's team on the spot, although he was reckless and stupid, but he also made a decision on the spot, and he quickly came to me to make ......peace" Xu Qianqian was stunned, "He came to you?" Xu Shaoyang said, "You don't know? He came to Shanghai to look for me. Xu Qianqian shook her head blankly. Xu Shaoyang snorted in his nose, "In the mall, he is a good hand and has passion." However, just because a person is a good business investment partner does not mean that he or she is a suitable emotional investment partner. Are you going to invest in business with emotion, and then use business to tie your emotions to you? ”

Xu Qianqian was excited. Xu Shaoyang slowed down his voice, "You said that the real you are light and powerful, except when you are alone, who will you be like this in front of?" Think about it and tell me. There was softness and concern in his voice, and Xu Qianqian's face relaxed.

"Tell me my name." Xu Shaoyang chased after him.

"Second uncle." Xu Qianqian rushed out, thought for a while, and said, "You." There may also be ...... Liu Ruiyang. ”

"You say you want to be the way you want to be, who do you think will actually see it? At least maybe you can see it, you know? ”

Xu Qianqian looked at Xu Shaoyang silently, her eyes almost with a hint of pleading. She realized what her brother's question was pointing to. Xu Shaoyang looked back at her firmly, she turned her face, lowered her head, and said, "You and Zhang Wenfeng." After a while, he hesitated and said, "Second uncle...... I don't know, he spoils me too much...... Leave me too early......"

Xu Shaoyang's face showed pity, "Huang Ligong can't see you now, and he can't see you in the future, right?"

Xu Qianqian still lowered her head, and nodded with difficulty for a long time. Xu Shaoyang stroked her hair and said, "What about your choice?" For the sake of love, don't be the self you like now, and don't be the self you desire in the future? ”

Xu Qianqian raised her head abruptly and shook her head.

"Huang Ligong and his father are the same. He never thinks about whether you will have yourself, and never respects that you also have your own broad world. Their ideal companion is a virtuous helper who revolves around him and dedicates himself completely to his cause. Their success is the measure of you. When you have a child, or you are tired of being a tool man, you have to return home, willing to be a housewife, and live a life according to others. But look at our mother, is she a bird? Have you reaped love? Your dream is to live like your mother?! ”

Xu Qianqian trembled and shook her head vigorously. Yes, she also has a great future, and she dreams of being free to move between the worlds, between the forces that influence or determine the world in the underground. She has a vision for the future with Huang Ligong, that is, two people together, in her world. This longing is too far away from reality, so she doesn't want to think about it, and she presses it deep in her heart. Unexpectedly, her brother violently lifted the lid that had been covered, and she was dizzy when she was secretly open in the light. Am I really willing to give up my dreams, be vassalized by Huang Ligong's side, and revolve around his dreams and career? This question that had been lurking broke through the ice, like maggots attached to the bones, and kept gnawing at her mind. There is still youth and beauty to squander, but, but what about five years from now, ten years from now?

Xu Shaoyang gently hugged her and gently stroked her back. Xu Qianqian leaned her head on his shoulder and asked weakly, "Are you sure?" Will it have to be like this in the future? She has clearly seen in her heart that the future can only be like this, but like a drowning person, she must grasp the last straw.

"You're asking the wrong question, sister." Xu Shaoyang said, "If you want to be absolutely sure, you can only wait until it becomes a reality." You're already a housewife then. The question you should ask is, why are you still acceptable to this humility when it may be such a future? Why not work for change? ”

"Hmm...... I don't know why? Xu Qianqian was at a loss.

"In front of Huang Ligong, who else will make you feel that he can't see you now, and he can't see you in the future?"

The air between heaven and earth stopped flowing, and midwinter returned to the earth, and a chill rose from Xu Qianqian's heart, gradually freezing her whole body. She gently broke free from Xu Shaoyang's embrace, looked at him, and said with difficulty, "Dad? …… Father! ”

Xu Shaoyang looked at her with pity on his face. Xu Qianqian even felt that she saw some kind of mourning on his face.

"I ...... Is that really the case with Dad? Xu Qianqian breathed hard, and inexplicable anger faintly rose, "Why are you so sure, as if you have seen through him and me?" Seeing the painful look flashing on Xu Shaoyang's face, something suddenly hit the ice covering her body, and a slight and thrilling crackling sound passed through the bones of her body, she held her breath, "Brother, you won't ......"

"We're in the same boat." Xu Shaoyang's voice suddenly became dry, "What you have experienced, I have also experienced." ”

Xu Qianqian couldn't help but reach out and gently caress Xu Shaoyang's face, "That's why you've been ...... in the UK"

Xu Shaoyang nodded slowly. The reason why he was stranded in the UK and delayed returning to Shanghai was not because he was drunk on money, accustomed to Western life, disdainful of taking over from Sail Science and Technology, etc., but because he needed to solve his own problems. In his childhood, his father was forever absent. Xu Tingbao is too busy, at work, at dinner, on a business trip, but not at home. Any important moment for his son, he missed; Still in adolescence, Xu Shaoyang was sent abroad, facing a strange country and a confused life alone. "There is no love, only a destined future. My self does not exist, there is only one identity, Xu Tingbao's son, and the successor of Sail Science and Technology. There seemed to be a painful void in Xu Shaoyang's voice.

The arrival of his sister gave him more motivation to live, but in the end it almost broke him, because he found that behind this consolation, there was nothing more than two people sitting in the same boat, walking on the determined course, and there was no possibility of deviating. Once I heard a sentence in a conversation by chance, the lack of father's love when I was a child will make people subconsciously seek compensation and comfort when they grow up, and make many choices that they can't figure out. He froze. He realizes his psychological problems and decides to save himself.

"So, these ...... you and I talked about"

"Someone told me that she got me out."

Xu Qianqian heard a subtle meaning in this sentence, and asked softly, "What happened later?" ”

"I'm in love with her."

Xu Qianqian looked at him in a daze, "You're not together?" ”

"Then her psychiatrist's license will be revoked." Xu Shaoyang's gentle smile had Xiao Suo in it.

Xu Qianqian hugged Xu Shaoyang. She knew that there were too many stories behind these pretextive words, too much sweetness and bitterness. She didn't ask any more, just hugged tightly.

"Sissi, stay true to your heart. Don't be overwhelmed by emotions and instincts. Xu Shaoyang looked at the continuous windows in front of him, and the bamboo poles were picked out of the window, drying large and small clothes, fluttering in the wind, like a lowly and stubborn flag in the world. "Ask yourself, do you run to him because you admire him from the bottom of your heart and see each other deeply, or is he like your father, restraining you and ignoring you, but giving you a familiar and comforting feeling?" Ask yourself, in front of him, is you the self you are trying to become, the self you aspire to become, or the lonely and small you, the well-behaved and wronged child waiting for his father's approval? Ask yourself, are you looking forward to being a 40-year-old child waiting for your father's approval, and will this be a relief for your whole life? ”

He closed his eyes as if he were still on the couch at her house, and could smell the cleaned curtains, freshly brewed black tea, and perfume with body temperature. In the darkness, she stared at him and saw where he was deep, deep. "There are 8 million people in London, and someone will really see you – see your dreams, see who you want to be. In life, no one can have all the good and impulsive in life. This is the essence of human destiny. Life is a series of trade-offs, and if you want to have this, you have to give up that. The preciousness and rarity of dreams lies in the fact that they can only be achieved by giving up other desires. You have to make a choice and decide where your life is going to burn. Your choices determine what you look like. ”