"Really not coming back?"

Xu Chaoyu didn't speak, just nodded.

"Aunt and cousin......"

"I'm going to die there." Xu Chaoyu seemed to be talking about something that had nothing to do with him, "I told your second aunt to start her life well." Let your child do what he loves and live the life he loves. ”

"She definitely wants you to stay in Shanghai, right?"

"In their lives, I was long gone." Xu Chaoyu and Xu Qianqian sat at the door of the small park, which was the park that Xu Chaoyu often brought her to when Xu Qianqian was a child. It was already late at night, there was no light, and the darkness covered Xu Chaoyu's face, and also covered the vague guilt and sourness in his words. "I said this too late, I should have told her more than ten years ago."

"Why did you go to India in the first place?"

"I don't belong here." Xu Chaoyu lit the cigarette that he had held in his hand for a long time, took a puff, and the smoke disappeared directly into the night. "I've walked the streets I used to walk around these days, and I don't know them anymore. It's a new world, and I'm a person from the old world – China more than a decade ago, India now. ”

"You didn't leave because of this." Xu Qianqian stubbornly asked, "Is it because of my dad?" ”

"I'm willing to go. At that time, Sail Science and Technology wanted to develop overseas business, and it was a matter of life and death, and he didn't believe others. Xu Chaoyu could hear Xu Qianqian shaking her head and sighed, "Your dad is the most resolute person I have ever met, and everything must be on his track." Everything. ”

Xu Qianqian shuddered.

"I never felt like you were the one who listened to the arrangement."

"Our parents left early. said it was my brother, but in fact it was my parents, and I and your third uncle were brought up by him. The third uncle is obedient, and I didn't make him angry when I was a child. So when he really needs it, I'll go. ”

Xu Qianqian put her hand on his knee, smelled the smoke in the cold air, and said, "When you left, I was very sad and cried for a long time. Looking back, it was the first grief of my life. "There was a memory that slowly poked its head out of the blur, like a photograph in a dark room, coming out of the developer and gradually becoming clearer." When I was a child, I told you that I wish you were my father. ”

"That day, it was back from this park, you said it on your doorstep. I still remember the look on your face when you spoke. Xu Chaoyu said lightly. He couldn't tell Xu Qianqian that this sentence, the little one she said with the longing look in her eyes, was the most intensely colored picture, embedded in the dim memories of other colors, so dazzling that it was difficult to touch.

Xu Qianqian gently leaned her head on Xu Chaoyu, just like when she was a child. The two of them were silent, only the sound of smoke burning.

"Do you hate him?"

Xu Chaoyu was silent for a while.

"Hate." He said.

There was another cold silence. The smoke burned in the cold silence, and a little bit of fire scorched the soul that was slumped.

"If you don't hate him, you won't be able to support it there for more than ten years." He threw the cigarette butt on the ground and gently stepped on it with his foot, "but later, I didn't know whether to hate him or thank him." That desert became my hometown, where I could breathe freely. Over there...... You will feel your heartbeat. ”

"I understand." Xu Qianqian put her arm around Xu Chaoyu and looked into the darkness, "I still have some troubles of my own, and I believe I will go out soon." I'm going to walk freely in this world – you're going to love the way I do – and one day I'll go to India, to that desert, and with you, breathe freely, my heart beats freely. ”