Cold hospital rooms, bitter medicines, endless infusions, restraint bands on hospital beds.

Chen Qian looked out the window at the birds dotting on the treetops and combing their feathers, would the birds also want to die? Chen Qian thought blankly.

The door was opened, and it was the young nurse who pushed the door in: "Bed No. 11, this morning's medicine, and the radiotherapy arranged for the afternoon are going." ”

Chen Qian took a sip of the medicine prepared by the doctor, and he didn't even have water.

"Open your mouth."

"Ahh

After the nurse made sure that Ye Qian swallowed it, she gave Chen Qian a drip.

Chen Qian looked at the back of his bruised hand, full of pinholes. The mood was surprisingly pleasant, and it felt really good to be broken.

When did it start, self-abuse has become a pleasant thing for Chen Qian, despair is the emotion that surrounds Ye Qian who is most loyal to her, and the biggest problem every day is how to commit suicide, so Chen Qian has studied countless ways to commit suicide.

Sleeping pill? No, sleeping pills will make you want to vomit and sleep while in confusion, and the whole process is unimaginably long and painful.

Jumping into the sea? No, the corpse will become too ugly.

Cut your wrists? Forget it, if you don't die, you will leave a good ugly scar.

Jump? In case you don't fall to your death, you don't want to think about it with a puddle of meat.

Take poison? Wall? Hang?

……

Thinking about it, but I can't always find a way to make Chen Qian die comfortably, so let's live first.

Today is the day when Chen Qian was discharged from the hospital, changed out of his hospital gown, put on a white shirt, and his short jeans were hidden under the white shirt, Ye Qian slowly walked out of the hospital gate, the car had been waiting at the door for a long time, and after getting in the car, Chen Qian closed his eyes and recuperated.

"Are you going home, miss?" Uncle Wu's voice is very good, and he is a very gentlemanly person.

Family? Does she have a home, Chen Qian couldn't help laughing at herself, but she still responded to Uncle Wu.

"Hmm."

"Miss, sit tight."

Uncle Wu started the car and slowly drove towards the destination.

Chen Qian, who got into the car, felt a little tired and began to close his eyes to recuperate.

Along the way, Uncle Wu concentrated on driving, but he still observed her condition through the rearview mirror from time to time, but he was also silent all the way.

Chen Qian also wondered why she was living like this, and why her life should have been rich and wonderful when she got here, but there was only a dull bleakness.

Chen Qian's life is boring, she is very grateful to her parents, her parents love her, her mother left Chen Qian with bipolar disorder, and her father gave Chen Qian endless money.

Chen Qian has no motivation to live, some people chase fame, some people chase money, but Chen Qian just doesn't want either.

Ye Qian brushed up on the drama, read the novel, and saw that the male and female protagonists in the script were broken and died for something called love. She doesn't understand, what is love? She never understood, she had money, could she buy it with money?

Today is the 6552nd day of Chen Qian's illness, and today is Chen Qian's 18th birthday.