"There's a mistake people often make when it comes to the technique of gaining the trust of others." Nick held out a finger and said, "Newbies always like to do additions, thinking that the more explanations you have, the more trust you can gain." ”

"But in reality, there aren't many people in this world who have empathy, and you can't and can't spend energy understanding the situation of others, and it's often the case that people are strongest when they meet strangers for the first time."

"Out of wariness and curiosity about unfamiliar people, the instinct of social creatures will make them understand who the other person is as much as possible, and judge how to get along with him, but after a little familiarity, this instinct will not be activated again."

"So there's a saying in the secret service industry called the golden thirty seconds, which means that if you don't gain the trust of a subject within 30 seconds of your first meeting, it's hard to fully gain the trust of the other person."

"Coulson is doing a particularly good job of that." Natasha spoke: "He can become a high-level agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. all the way to the point of being a high-level agent with insufficient force value, and with his special talent, he is an agent who does not look like an agent." ”

"He can be anyone, a neighbor who goes out to take out the trash, a police officer who posts a ticket, a social worker who prunes flowers and bushes, or just a passerby walking his dog, and when he greets strangers, almost no one suspects him, and I can't."

Natasha shrugged her shoulders and said, "The more proficient the agent is, the more there is a sense of tension that is difficult to ignore, just like the one in charge of guarding the meerkat group, we are too sensitive to the wind and grass, it is difficult to have the relaxation of ordinary people, but Coulson can always be relaxed." ”

"Back to business, ma'am." Nick pulled back the subject a little bit and continued, "It seems to me that Eric made the mistake of not building a good enough foundation when he first met Tony Stark. ”

"But it seems that in the beginning, I trusted him from another universe." Stark said.

"Yes, but that's based on the fact that Eric is Tony's savior, in other words, he saved his life and didn't even manage to gain a deep level of trust, and the performance in the golden thirty seconds can be said to be a complete failure, but he didn't realize it."

Nick took another sip of wine and grinned bitterly, he looked back at T'Challa, who smiled at him and said, "Wakanda's specialty isn't bad, right?" ”

Nick smiled and said, "That's a lot of energy, man, I hope it doesn't mess with my brain," I continued. ”

"So let's compare Schiller's performance when he first met Tony of this universe." Nick then analyzed: "What did Schiller do in the first thirty seconds of meeting Tony? ”

"They said a few words." Stark recalled, "Probably introducing themselves to each other? ”

Nick shook his head and pointed out, "Schiller helped Tony take off the hood, and the first thing he did was make physical contact with the other person. ”

"In most cases, gentle physical contact is good for gaining the trust of the other person, such as a pat on the shoulder, a pat on the arm, or a touch on the elbow, especially if the other person is panicking, which is a good way to calm the other person's emotions."

"Immediately after Schiller called Stark's name, this is telling Stark, I've heard of you, you're famous, and it's essentially a gesture of acceptance."

"The group of people who kidnapped Tony didn't see him as a human at all, they were too rough and had a sense of alienation from civilized society, but Schiller recognized Stark's behavior and pulled Tony back to the civilized way of communication, which Tony is used to and likes, which can further reassure him."

He then showed Stark the most characteristic part of his appearance, obviously the gray eyes, which helped Tony build his image in his mind.

"The quickest way to make others remember you is to symbolize yourself, and a red hair, rosacea nose, and big feet are all distinctive features that are the basis for building a three-dimensional image."

"And the best thing is coming." Nick took another sip of wine, then raised his tone and said, "Tony instinctively began to question, suspecting that Schiller was sent by the kidnappers to supervise him, but how did Schiller do it?" ”

"He didn't show his kindness, he made it clear that he had some sort of partnership with the kidnappers."

"What's going on?" Eddie frowned and asked, "Doesn't that make Tony wary?" ”

Nick shook his head and said, "Again, the most stable relationship between people is the relationship of interests, and Schiller's move is to emphasize to Tony that 'we are grasshoppers on a rope'." ”

"He said he was a doctor and came to treat Tony, and Tony would be fine if he was well, and he might be in trouble if Tony died, which immediately put the two of them on the same page."

"You can't expect a person to have an emotional resonance with you the first time they see you, common interests are often necessary to establish an initial relationship, and only when interests are tied together can there be a deep understanding."

"Of course, Eric did that." Nick shrugged his shoulders lightly and said, "He drove Stark away, and at that time their lives and deaths were tied together, either run away together or be blown up together, which was actually a good start, but he did one thing wrong." ”

"What's that?" Thor also asked a little curiously.

"He actually asked Tony to call Pepper." Nick spread his hands and said helplessly, "That's what I'm talking about, he's a complete layman, with only talent and instinct, and never learned theory." ”

"When you and someone start to have entanglements because of common interests, if you want to work harmoniously with each other for a long time, the first period is very important, and the first step is to create a closed environment as much as possible."

"It's not about creating a space where it's just the two of you, but it's about getting the other person to pay as much attention to you as possible, constantly pulling his energy, and letting him know more about you out of curiosity or inadvertently."

"Sounds a bit like a bird courtship." Eddie propped his elbows on the armrests of the couch and said, "Unfurl your bright feathers to attract the attention of the other person, so that they can't take their eyes off it, so as to learn more about your strengths." ”

"I insist that humans are still part of the animal kingdom and that there is something in common between human psychology and animal psychology." Nick nodded.

Eric allowed Stark to pour his emotions into Pepper on the other end of the phone, he felt that he could express his empathy, and perhaps he also thought that Stark and Pepper were in love, and it had nothing to do with the friendship he wanted to build.

"But in fact, human feelings are always exclusive, and the feelings that can be projected to other people within a certain period of time are limited, and if he uses other people as an outlet for his own emotional catharsis, no matter what, you can only get less."

"So what Eric should do is to let the other party project all his emotions on him at the first time when establishing common interests, because only in this way can the other party be more willing to understand him more deeply, and leave a deeper and three-dimensional impression in the other party's heart, otherwise it will just be a meeting in the water, a hurried passerby, what is the difference between it and a friend of wine and meat?"

Stark thought it made sense, so he nodded, but he quickly reacted: "Wait, Schiller shouldn't have been dealing with us like this all along, right?" ”

"In principle, that's right." Nick shrugged his shoulders and said, "But just like the difference between an apprentice and a master, Schiller is not very deliberate, and naturally it is not easy to be discovered. ”

Stark frowned deeply, he recalled Schiller's every move in the cave, but he didn't catch the key point, and at this point Natasha spoke: "Naturally, he will make you think that you are curious, and you have to ask about his past." ”

The female agent stroked her hair behind her ear and said: "First of all, use an unreasonable fact to arouse the other person's interest, such as Schiller's first saying to Tony in this universe, 'I don't run away because I fled here', human beings will be interested in all kinds of unreasonable facts, regardless of whether there is danger hidden behind them." ”

"Then there is another fact that shocked the other side, such as Schiller telling Tony that he had a surgical license, which cannot be said to be unreasonable, but it is a little surprising in this environment."

"It totally piqued Tony's curiosity." Natasha stretched out the five fingers of one hand and spread it for a moment, then tightened it again and said, "After the shock of these two facts, anyone will start to think, why would an American doctor with a legal surgical license flee to a cave in Afghanistan?" ”

So Tony asked, and Schiller threw his next trap. Nick chuckled and said, "Schiller told Tony a secret. ”

"Sharing secrets is a necessary part of building a strong relationship, and the more important the secret, the more people will feel that the other person trusts you, and what Schiller told Tony about his background is obviously a very important secret, after all, it involves the FBI, the CIA, the military, and a series of big people."

Natasha pursed her lips and continued: "And at that time, it was too late for you to listen to it, it was you who asked, and he said half of it, even if it may bring you the risk of trouble, but if you interrupt him now, don't you take the risk again, and you don't hear the secret?" Isn't that a complete loss? ”

Nick chuckled lowly, obviously thinking of something, but after being glared at by Natasha, he restrained his smile and continued, "Of course, the killer weapon that is easier to gain trust than sharing secrets is to actively expose your own small shortcomings, or strengths disguised as shortcomings. ”

"For example, you can say to other people that you are a little careless, but in fact you are saying that you are bold and generous, you can say to the other person that you are too quiet sometimes, in fact, you are saying that you are good at listening, you can say that you chew words, in fact, you are saying that you have good literary literacy."

"The specific expression can be: first, say your shortcomings, but say that others have influenced you, and then start praising that person's strengths in such aspects."

"For example, 'I've always been a little sloppy, maybe inherited from my parents, you know, my dad was a pretty bold Texan, and he taught me not to be too careful about things and to be righteous when I get along with friends.'"

"Second, to say that this is the evaluation given to you by others, but to show the merits of this direction in your speech."

"For example, 'My friends always say I'm too quiet sometimes, but I'm fascinated by them, they're all pretty nice people, and I remember saying ...... to me at that time.'"

"Third, say it's a legacy of a noble or professional job."

"Like, 'I'm sorry, I kind of care about the word you just said...... I'm a bit of a of a writer and I care more about the rigor of grammar, which is a habit I left over from when I used to work as a proofreader in a newspaper, and I'm really embarrassed'. ”

"Of course, it's all entry-level tricks." Nick smiled mysteriously and said, "The best killer trick is, of course, the one used by Schiller." ”

(End of chapter)