On March 2nd, it was sunny, cloudy, cloudy, or rainy.

I do not know.

Nothing can be determined for sure.

What happened yesterday made my doubts about the authenticity of this world even stronger.

If, all I know is fake.

If, my memories for more than 20 years have been fabricated by something.

If my perception of the world is all whimsical and self-righteous fantasies.

So can the church really solve my problems?

Or will it plunge me deeper into the netherworld?

Or, does the church really exist in such a world?

What I have encountered, experienced, and remembered, how much truth is there?

Yes, when I heard Shiryl's words yesterday, I went back the way I came, not as originally planned, to talk to the priests about my situation.

I rushed home and verified Shellyl's words.

Quite simply, I pushed open the door and shouted to the empty house:

"Grandma! Are you there? ”

"Grandma! I am back! ”

No one responded to me, not a single one.

I shouted again:

"Bobby! Silly dog, I'll take you out for a walk! ”

The house is still quiet and scary.

I noticed one thing.

The world seems to be false, and everything is.

Or, I'm the one who is false, and everything is.

March 3rd, sunny bar maybe.

Today I found out even worse news, there is no such thing as Shirley in the town.

Even if she is in my memory, her voice and smile are as if in front of me, and I am so impressed by her memory.

In that case, what about Alston? What about Karina?

They're fake too, right?

In the deserted home, only the glowing stone accompanied me.

March 5th, cloudy day.

I'm pretty sure of the falsity of the world.

This morning, an owl flew to a branch in the backyard of the house.

We looked at each other for a long time, and it really looked like a cat, a cat with fluffy fur.

Thinking like this, when I turned my head again, the owl was gone, and there was only one cat left in the tree.

I don't want to be descriptive, and there's no need.

On March 7, sunny turned rainy, then cloudy.

It's like a dream, a dream that belongs to me, but it's undoubtedly a nightmare.

Because even though I can already try to control everything around me, all I feel is hesitation and pain.

When I try to get a moment of peace, the stone will beat, in front of my eyes, in my mind, all the time, the world and the soul are divided, and everywhere I can see and can't reach, there is only the noise, the noise of one person, it is really crazy and helpless.

As I write this, it is raining on the sunny sky.

After the rain, it should be half an hour, and it will turn cloudy, right?

(Supplement) Sure enough, it turned cloudy, and it was half an hour.

March 8th, no accident in the future, it's all sunny, sunny days are better than rainy days, I think so.

If the world is false, then where is the real world, or is there really a real world?

Since this is a dream, let's make the dream a little happier, even if it is only a little, so that I can have a moment to forget the reality and illusion of the world, and I can be happy.

Karina, you know, I'm actually always there for you while you fall asleep.

March 11, fine.

I've become integrated into Karina's life, in her unseen corners, at all times, I'm everywhere.

Observing her like this is like looking at an unbelievable sculpture.

I even tried to touch her while she was asleep, and sure enough, just as I thought, in my dreams, I don't want her to wake up, she won't wake up.

But I'm not like a hungry wolf that can't wait to devour it.

Because Karina is the only existence in this false world that I can calm down and observe and love, even if she is false.

But several times, when I was deeply immersed in the two-person world with her, and when I lay down with her without knowing it, I forgot in a trance that there was such a stone, which only I could see, was always in my field of vision.

It was as if Karina's mere presence there had obscured the light of anything else, and my eyes could no longer accommodate anything else.

I know that this has made me get carried away, and even forget that the world is in a false state, and it can't always appear.

But as I said before, a moment is enough, she is the only one who can give me a moment of tranquility in this false world.

Such Karina, how can I not love you.

How can we bear to break the peace that only belongs to us at night.

March 13, fine.

Auston came to see me today.

The reason is that I disappeared for too long and didn't show up in town.

When he saw my withered face, he was very worried and tried to pull me to the doctor, but I prevaricated.

But how to put it, now I have very mixed feelings, and I am trying to stop the madness in my heart.

Because Auston saw part of my diary on the previous page, we had some conflicts.

It's all my fault, after I finished writing yesterday, I didn't cover the diary, and just put it on the table.

Maybe it's because I already feel like I'm omnipotent, and I don't believe anyone can break into my home in my dreams, check my secrets, and leave unharmed.

But unfortunately, Alston did.

He didn't come with malice, but with good intentions, unlike the robbers who trespassed into private homes without permission.

He didn't see any more of it, for as soon as I noticed his gaze fall on the open journal, I stepped forward and concealed my secret.

But it was inevitable that he saw the part of my time with Karina.

Contrary to what I expected, I should have erased anyone who snooped on this secret, and now I can easily do it.

Because even if it is in a dream, in a dream where the real world cannot be found, what is the difference between a dream and reality?

But I didn't do that.

Why?

I don't know.

Maybe it's because many years ago, I told him that my eldest brother will always protect you.

Even if this memory is definitely false, even Alston is a false person in the dream.

March 15, fine.

I've been recalling a lot of things in the past two days.

About my whole life.

About me and Auston, me and Karina.

I recalled the day when Auston and Karina announced their union, and although my heart was like a knife, I also had bitter blessings for him.

Later, because the world is false, I also threw away a lot of scruples.

At this moment, I can't give up, the only thing I can get a moment of peace in this world.

Karina.

But.

What if, in part, the world is still real?

What if, Alston happens to be the tip of the real part?

Where is it true and where is false, where is where I should be, what is what I should do?

These thoughts, like a whirlpool that leads straight to the netherworld, enveloped me tightly, swallowed me deeply, unable to extricate myself, and plunged me into infinite madness.