"Glass ......"

With a slight movement in her throat, the girl's name was called out between her lips and teeth.

Kamihara stood in front of the door of the love hotel room and saw the nine glasses of the sky with the fruit knife in front of him. There was a look of helplessness in his eyes.

This is also a very likely scenario.

He wasn't too surprised.

"Lejun, I'm sorry......"

In front of her, the rain crept down the sleeves of the girl's wet school uniform to the back of her hand, and then slid from the back of her hand to the tip of the knife, until a cold line flowed down on the stainless steel surface.

Tianhai Jiuliuli's hand was trembling, and the droplets of water dripping on the tip of the knife were also trembling at the same speed.

She, slowly, tremblingly, raised the knife towards herself.

......

"Glass ......"

Obviously, the light in the room is not clear, but Kamihara can still see his own appearance reflected on the crooked knife surface.

Tianhai Jiuliuli still lowered his head, it was a face that couldn't be seen clearly.

With Ruri's character, it is impossible for her to make this move to herself.

But she raised her knife tremblingly.

"Lejun... I'm sorry..."

She was still afraid, and the trembling fruit knife reflected the true thoughts in her heart.

Even when she raised the knife to herself, she still said apologies in her mouth.

She knows.

She knew she shouldn't have lifted that thing at herself.

Kamihara Le breathed slowly with a flat expression, and he could hear the sobbing and trembling sounds of the Nine Glass of the Heavenly Sea in front of him, which were almost like suffocation.

"It's okay...... If you want to stab me, stab me, I won't hide."

This sentence made Tianhai Jiuliuli look stunned, and it took a long time to come to his senses and look at him:

「... Why?"

She spoke, struggling to endure a choked voice.

Kamihara waited for her to continue.

「...... Why do you want to talk about those things about me, everyone, everyone, be together... Isn't it possible? Obviously, in the past two months, everyone... Everyone is happily together, forming a band together, performing on stage together, traveling together, taking a group photo, together... Make good memories......"

「...... Yes, everyone has had a great time in the past two months, everyone has been very happy together during the trip, and the MV shot has been very successful...... It's been like this for two months. However, Ruri, everyone is happy, it doesn't mean that things haven't happened. So, after thinking about it, I decided to tell you something."

Why could he, say these things to me?

Don't you know how important he is in his own mind?

It's him who has been encouraging himself, it's he who is willing to stand up for himself on the day his mother slapped him mercilessly... It is he who is willing to forgive himself regardless of his previous suspicions, and forgive himself for his wrong behavior.

Forgive......?

Yes, it must be.

In fact, my brother has never forgiven himself.

All the time, I'm still thinking about myself...!

That's why I calmly said to myself just now that I was dating July.

That's why he lied to himself, he lied to himself...

Fool yourself...

......

He still lied to himself.

Just like my mother, I lied to myself......

Tianhai Jiuliuli lifted his face, it was a face that still looked beautiful in tears. ….

She clenched the trembling fruit knife in both hands, her eyes still red.

「... Brother, you must not have lost your breath yet, right?"

"Why are you still thinking about this?" Kamihara tried to get closer to her.

"Brother, it must be that you haven't lost your breath yet, right..." Tianhai Jiu Liuli raised the fruit knife a little higher, forcing Kamihara to stop.

"Ruri, I don't deny that I was angry at the time—"

"It's because my brother is still angry with me that that's why he did this to me, right? Because I'm not very important to everyone, because I'm not very liked by everyone, Ling didn't like me, July didn't like me, my aunt couldn't talk to me, even Lejun... You hated me too......

"I've never denied you! Even then... I also think you have a reason to do that to me."

"How can I trust you now! You've been lying to me all along!"

Tianhai Jiuliuli shouted loudly, his voice tearing in pain.

The emotionally unstable Tianhai Jiu Ruri was holding a knife that was too dangerous, and Kamihara wanted to take the opportunity to pull out the knife in her hand.

"Don't come here!"

"Then how can Ruri be willing to believe me?"

Kamihara walked straight over.

"Don't come here!

Tianhai Jiu Liuli's voice was a little louder, and the tip of the knife was aimed at his eyes.

Only then did Kamihara stop his tracks.

"Ruri, I understand your mood at this time... Because I was like this before, it was very painful, it was very uncomfortable, and I kept denying myself. But I understand what I'm doing now, so I'm not going to defend anything. If you want to leave me, I will respect your choice, but for now, I think you should still put down the knife, and now that you are very emotionally unstable, don't do something impulsive."

"Stability...? Am I unstable?"

The girl was suddenly stunned.

Seeing that what he said had an effect, Kamihara Le added, "Yes, Ruri, you've just been drenched in the rain now, and it's cold, right?" Uncomfortable, right? Why don't you put the knife down and talk?"

Tianhai Jiuliuli sniffed, his eyes were red, and he laughed out with a sour nose:

"Lejun still tells me how to be stable...... I don't want to see you at all right now."

"There are so many ways to solve things, you don't want to see me... I'm going to be gone, and you're going to put down your knife and calm down, okay? I'm still worried about you, I know you don't want to talk to me, how about I let Ah Ling accompany you? She likes you lately, and she calls you Sister Liuli. Ruri, I've always wanted you to make your own choice, whether you choose to leave me or try to continue......

Lejun... Still saying these things.

Lejun is still thinking about making his own choice.

Why, why, why, why.

Why say this to yourself!

Tianhai Jiuliuli closed his sour eyes, and recalled in his mind what he had experienced since he was a child.

Choose...

Have you ever made any choices...?

Piano?

This is given by my mother.

Even the technology was taught by my mother.

She told me that I was very talented and that I was the most likely person of the century to win the World Championship with the youngest outright victory. ….

I still remember that when my mother said these words, her expression was full of yearning, confidence and courage.

At that point, I can't help but look at my hands and ask myself.

'Really, can it be done?' ，

'Really, can you do this for your mom?' ，

When my mother noticed my feelings, she smiled and said to me, 'Yes, as long as it's glass, it's definitely okay.' ，

After hearing my mother's words, I felt a fire in my heart, and that flame made my heart beat faster, making my body temperature hot and full of strength to move forward.

Yes, I can.

Glass... OK.

As long as I do that, I'll take Ruri to see it

Look at where my mother lives in England, it is a long street, the street is lined with red maple leaves, cafes full of customers, and every autumn comes, the whole street is full of maple leaves and coffee. Over there, there is a wishing fountain surrounded by white doves, a cobblestone floor that has been polished by time, a street artist in a Scottish skirt playing bagpipes every afternoon, a painter sketching, a pianist playing Beethoven's Ode to Joy on the roadside, everyone loves the air, the autumn leaves of the maple trees, and the quiet and beautiful maple street. ，

Ever since my mom said that to me, I've been looking forward to the day when she will take me.

Take a look at the autumn leaves that fill the streets, see the fountain surrounded by white doves, take a look... The street that has been polished to the light of time.....

This sentence makes me want to let her take me with me every time I see the back of my mother standing on the plane and leaving in the wind.

I wanted to call out to my mom and ask her, 'Can you take me?' ，

However, every time I get a response, it is always a flat voice: 'Ruri can go with her mother if she works harder.' ，

Work harder.

Let's work harder.

This vision has been with me for 12 years.

Twelve years, in fact, at this time, I have already understood that my mother may be lying to herself.

She never intended to take herself out, never intended to fulfill what she had said. She probably forgot, probably that place is a place she made up, she just wants to make a wish, so that she can take the initiative to go in her direction, according to her expectations......

In the beginning, my mother would occasionally take me out to eat and buy me some gadgets for me...

But it wasn't until later, because of her mother's sluggish career, that she became more and more irritable.

Not only was she disappointed and lamented that I hadn't accomplished her goal, but she also repudiated the promise I had made and the request to take me to the playground for a game console because I hadn't accomplished hers.

What she is willing to give herself, less and less...

But why do you continue to follow your mother's words?

Because I think there's no other reason to keep going than that I can now play the melody of the piano with my hands.

I don't know what I want.

I don't understand why July can be so attentive to reading all the time. ….

I don't understand why July decided to run out alone after returning from a trip.

She and I were both five years old at the time.

Watching my sister grab the money she stole from her father, watching her resolutely run out of the house, seeing her run out onto the avenue, running into the distance, until she completely disappeared from her sight...

The back of my sister, the firm words that my sister said to herself before leaving, my sister shook her head without listening to her own dissuasion.

I still remember leaning over the window of my father's study on the second floor of the villa and watching July leave.

I, very envious of her.

I envy my sister very much.

I really want to be like July, to be like her, to have the same motivation to keep going on one thing.

There are dreams, goals, and expectations.

And give unlimited power to it.

For me at that time, the only person who could make me meet this condition was my mother.

So, I stuck with the idea my mom gave me.

So even if I later understood that my mother was lying to me, that she was just using me and taking advantage of her mother's identity, I was still willing to continue to persevere.

Because I believe that as long as I fulfill my mother's last wish, she will definitely take me to the place where the maple leaves are grown, the place where the ode to joy is played.

[The problem of slow update of new chapters,There is finally a solution to the problem of being able to change the source.,Download huan here.]

yuan. to view the latest chapters of the book on multiple sites at the same time. 】

Because I know, my mom has been using me, but I'm still her daughter... Even if it's just a little bit in her mind.

However, on that day, I overheard a conversation between my mom and my brother.

That day, I realized that my mother had long forgotten her previous promise, and she was left with the use of her motherhood.

She said mercilessly, never treating herself as a daughter.

What she saw in her eyes was only talent, only the ability to learn, and only the dreams that she could not achieve when she was young.

She has never regarded herself as a daughter.

So, on that day, I cried.

Thankfully!

Suddenly there was someone who could understand me that day.

He's still angry with me, I've done so much to him, he's even said something that he would never forgive me... However, I was still willing to come over and give me a relaxed hug when I was huddled in the corner and cried that day.

I still remember how I felt.

It's so warm......

He was slowly approached, and he said that I haven't forgiven you yet, but he took the initiative to pull me into his arms.

I tugged at the clothes on his chest tightly, my head squeezing into his arms, tears falling uncontrollably on his clothes.

He saw that I was crying so much that he slapped me on the back with his hand...

The kind of look that holds himself in his arms and comforts him carefully.

I always remember.

From that day on, I noticed that his eyes had changed a lot.

He's got even more handsome! It's getting sunnier!

Become... Smile even better.

Every time I secretly see him, my heartbeat will start to speed up, and every time I eat the food he cooks for himself, there will be a warm current in my heart. ….

I... I really want to get close to him.

I really want to be close to him.

It's good that I want to hug, and I want him to be good to me.

And whenever I was still struggling with whether I had been forgiven by him, he would smile and tell me that it was okay......

It's okay...

That's a heavy answer for me.

He'd moved for that purpose.

For this reason, I moved out of the home where I had been doing my best!

Because of that mistake of my own......

I've seen him lock himself in his room without eating or drinking, and I've seen his room with the door closed all the time.

Seeing his calm face, he decided to move out of the family.

I'm sorry...

Really, I'm sorry...

- In the face of the smile he smiled at me later, I felt a little more urgent about what I wanted to say to him.

Guilt, warmth, support and care from him.

It all makes me extremely determined—I... You can trust him completely!

I've really found the path I've been able to find since I was a child!

I, like him.

I want to see him move forward, to see him carry himself all the way forward......

But, in the end.

It's all fake......

"Ruri, Ruri." Kamihara Raku shouted the name of the girl who held her hand and looked determined on the other side.

He is far from being liked by his sister, far from being as compatible with him as his sister, and far from being as happy as his sister.

Father... There's Aunt Kamihara.

Mom, too, is concentrating on her own business.

My sister has also been insisted on by herself.

Only oneself is superfluous.

Fifth wheel......

yes

Fifth wheel.

Tianhai Jiu Liuli inhaled the cold air, tried to hold back his tears, and turned his gaze and the tip of the knife at Kamihara Le together:

"Lejun."

"What does Ruri want to ask?" Kamihara was happy to see that she seemed to be much calmer.

"What am I to Lejun?"

「... There's so much to say. In short, it's very important, if you don't believe it, I'll try to defend it."

"Really... Then I'll be relieved. I'm not qualified to question you at all, Lejun... I understand."

Kamihara also took a breath, "Of course you are qualified to question me, after all, I hid it from you."

"Hmm..."

......

"Are you feeling better?"

"It's better." Tianhai Jiu Liuli said quietly.

"Well, how about you put the knife down. Of course, if you want to stab me, then you can come as long as you can dissipate your anger."

"No need, Lejun." Tianhai Jiuliuli shook his head, "Lejun, actually...... I don't want to make the atmosphere the way it is."

"How about putting the knife down?"

「..... Okay."

Tianhai Jiu Liuli agreed in such a low voice, relaxed the knife from the state of lifting, and his tone slowed down.

Kamihara was relieved to see that she seemed to be much calmer, and slowly began to approach her, "But I'm sorry to you, Ruri."

"I want to know... Can you tell me why you agreed to July?"

「...... At first, I was threatened by July, but then I gradually learned about July's feelings, and I also remembered it... Things to do when I was a kid. Indeed, I am sorry for her."

"Sure enough... And so it was." Tianhai Jiu Liuli lowered his hand, and the whole person was in a state of powerlessness, "So, in fact, you can't blame Le Jun, right? After all, Le Jun had said so many things to July a long time ago, so it's no wonder that July would go to Shikoku Island to find you after she came back, after all, thinking about it, this is something that can't be helped......

「...... You can't say you don't blame me."

"Lejun, what do you think now? To me, to July."

「...... I said that to July. I can only give half of her affection."

"That's it... July promised you?"

"I don't know, but let's say yes. She didn't do anything after that."

"July... There must be some conditions for Lejun, right?"

"Yes. If there's anything you want to say, you can tell me now."

"Request... Yes, in fact, you can still make requests to Lejun...... Lejun, you must have promised me anything now, right?"

"Yes, you can tell me whatever you want, and I will agree."

"However, Lejun, who has already promised July, is no longer willing to break his promise."

"Wha-"

Shenyuan Le's Tong Kong suddenly widened, and gradually Tianhai Jiu Liuli, who originally looked very weak, suddenly raised the fruit knife and stabbed it towards his body.

"Wait—"

......

I didn't even have time to speak.

Blood, soaked her wet white shirt.

.......

I don't like to be lazy