I am a person with low self-esteem, although most of the time in the eyes of others I show calm confidence and generosity, but this does not hide the fact that I have low self-esteem. Seventeen-year-old me, like the seventeen-year-old of most people around me, has the freedom that should be at that stage, the so-called dreams and pursuits, the light in my eyes, and the distance in my heart, but although the spiritual world is wonderful enough, it is inevitable that I will encounter some things that bother me in reality.

Pimples, a product of people's adolescence, are something that most handsome teenagers with delicate faces spit on. God's unfairness lies in the fact that he never distributes what he has at his disposal, and whenever I see someone else's smooth face, I always think of it, and I am forced to accept God's gift in a silent way. People are always like this, they do not suffer from few, but suffer from inequality.

Every time in the middle of summer, my face will erupt with this disgusting thing, usually fine, not outrageous, but whenever the outdoor temperature rises to a certain height, my face will definitely interpret this change better, and I don't know how to deal with this thorny problem as a teenager, except for the frequent use of cheap facial cleansers to keep my face clean, I don't know anything else. In many cases, I try to avoid areas that are exposed to direct sunlight as much as possible to avoid adverse reactions to the skin.

In addition to the sun, I am also afraid of the gaze, I am afraid of the feeling of being looked at by others, over time, I have developed a bad habit, I will deliberately, and it seems natural to put the hand on my face, thinking that I can resist part of the injury, although I also know that it is a kind of self-deception, the blocked part can not play any essential role, but almost every time I communicate with people, I will intentionally or unintentionally show that unnatural action. Just when I thought everyone was taking that kind of behavior as a habit, Lin Chuxue spoke.

"Ye Fan, why do you always hold your face with your hands." For the first time, she raised her own questions after an unnatural exchange.

"Get used to it." It was the first time I had explained my irrational behavior to a person, and it was also the first time that someone had taken the initiative to ask about this unique behavior that belonged to me.

She didn't speak, waiting for me to speak, and it was clear that my first answer didn't meet her standards.

"I have acne on my face, so I feel more natural to block it."

I need to give her a satisfactory answer, an answer that she has already seen.

"Adolescence, inevitably, just after this period."

She understands me, at least in this matter.

"Besides, what's there, as for it, really."

Then he showed an attitude of indifference.

I'm still going my own way, just thinking of it as someone else's nosy.

"Take your hands off."

Her serious expression doesn't frighten anyone. But my weakness has been taken care of, and it can't be considered complete, but it's certain.

"Okay."

In the next few conversations, I would often repeat my deliberate actions, and she stopped me from doing this more than once, and she also pulled with her hands during the period, like a strict mother. But once a habit is formed, it is generally difficult to change, especially those habits that you think are beneficial to you.

She didn't end her pestering as I expected. Two days after the end of the rest day that week, on the afternoon of the first day of school, she gave me a thing, which was a tubular aloe vera gel product, saying that it had a relieving effect on acne, and that it would have a good effect if you insisted on using it, and a note with a formal store address and a string of eleven numbers of contact information, explaining that she was going to buy it in a regular place, and also said a bunch of precautions, at least compared to the usual conversation, the speech was more.

"Why are you so nice to me?"

"Get out."

The index finger pointed to the door and told me to get out of here, which was her exclusive action to me.

It was a strange feeling of the warm light hitting my face, and I called it a good feeling, and it wasn't until one day, many years later, when I began to think about the moments I had encountered in my youth, that I realized that it might be called liking. Although the formula she provided did not give me noticeable results over time, it did not affect my judgment in the slightest.

In fact, God is fair, he is still very reasonable many times when distributing things, the truth that fish and bear's paws cannot have both is the rule he made, I know that Lin Chuxue got an almost perfect appearance under this rule, as for what I lost, I didn't know until I arrived in the fifth class for a long time.

She was well disguised, sitting in the first row, studying hard to cause myopia in her eyes, and hard work devoured her recess. I always thought she was one of the few good students in Class 5, until that time, I realized I was wrong.

After a mock exam, after the normal test papers were issued, the students would compare with the people around them and find their own problems, except for the students who were not motivated to study. I was under the impression that she was supposed to belong to the former, and that she would take the initiative to communicate their own problems, but the reality was not quite consistent.

Liberal arts students do not need to have much content for the answers in each subject, and most of the content can be found in the books of each subject for self-comparison, except for mathematics, which needs some logical formulas to be used between them. So normally, at least she will communicate with others about this subject, but after the test paper was sent, her reaction was still doing her own thing as always, at first I thought she understood, and she didn't need to ask others, until she couldn't help but peek at her exam curiously and found that this person was really well hidden.

Her learning ability is a little poor, it should be said that it is more than a little worse, I can see that she is not embarrassed to let others notice her stupidity, but learning itself is a process of continuous improvement, if you don't understand, just ask, admit your own shortcomings is not a shameful thing. I didn't point out what I knew about her in person, and taking into account the other person's considerations was something I always followed and was good at.

In the class after the test paper is sent, the teacher will correct the mistakes, and the usual moves are the same. Naturally, the study time is tight, and it is not in vain to talk about those simple problems, especially in mathematics. This question is a simple formula set of formulas, and it has passed; This question is the most reasonable to be wrong, too; Who else doesn't understand, read a certain chapter and a certain section by yourself.

She obviously didn't really understand from the teacher's "serious explanation", the micro-expressions on her face can't deceive people, but her body still remained motionless as always, her self-esteem was embarrassed to put down at that moment, and she chose to be silent under the pressure of the teacher who didn't understand and asked again and again.

"Teacher, let's talk about this question, I don't understand it thoroughly." I raised my hand in reply.

"This question still needs to be said." The teacher asked puzzled.

"Well, I don't understand." I replied in a humble manner.

The teacher obviously didn't react to my answer, and in his opinion, it was possible for everyone in the class to not understand, but not me, after all, my math score was always the first, which was a fact he knew when he was substitute in the original class.

"Yes, let's talk about it again, teacher...", the voices that appeared one after another made me realize that I was not the only one who didn't understand, and what some people thought was simple didn't seem to be so simple in the eyes of others, but everyone was used to a certain way of accepting it that might not be suitable for them.

I have never exposed Lin Chuxue's "hypocrisy", what she cares about needs to be protected. In the days that followed, whenever there was a question session, I would have a friendly exchange with the teachers in my own way, which once affected the teaching progress of the class, like a bedbug, and was disgusted. In addition to these, I often put my textbook over the 38th line on Lin Chuxue's seat, and bullied her in a different way, with a math note that has been with me for a long time, but in the end, her grades have not changed qualitatively, and she has been hovering up and down the average, learning is not what she is good at, and some changes in the short term only exist in the plot of the novel.

In the days when I was slowly getting used to having her by my side, a small incident happened around us, and it was that small incident that indirectly changed our originally friendly situation.

A couple appeared on campus that day, the original students of Hwaseong Technical School, they got married, and they came to deliver candy, probably to humiliate the original substitute teacher who used to be not optimistic about each other, and both sides maintained a superficial harmony from beginning to end. In class, the students asked the teacher about them, but the teacher did not talk in detail, but expressed his understanding from his position, and finally said a very realistic topic, about the bride price, at the age of seventeen, our understanding of the bride price is far less profound than his understanding at that time.

"First snow, how much does the bride price cost over there?" I asked without curiosity.

"Mostly sixteen-eight."

The foreshadowing in class made my questions seem less abrupt, and she answered more seriously.

"That's okay, the market is pretty much the same." I replied with a smile.

"What about you?"

She saw that I was not serious again, and glanced at me with a bad face.

I won't allow the topic I finally provoked to end, and I continued to pester her for a while, but she couldn't stand it anymore, and said, "Then five million." ”

I smiled to myself and asked solemnly, "Then when do you plan to get married?" ”

She replied thoughtfully, "Twenty-five or sixteen years old."

She thought it was a normal conversation, and the tone of her answer was very pertinent.

"When the time comes, I'll marry you, five million, to pull the hook."

"Get out." As she spoke, she made that little gesture that belonged to her.

"Okay, no." I continued my pestering.

"Okay." She just wanted to end that farce. "Five million."

"Okay."

"Okay."

The moment the eyes met, I seemed to be a little serious.