Wang Defa himself doesn't know how he persevered in this day, it's not easy, this kind of alternative taste of life, people who haven't experienced it, no matter how they describe it to him, they can't understand it.

For outsiders, everything seems to be the same on the surface, Wang Defa's family, do whatever they are doing, three children, go to school when they should go to school, and work in the fields on weekends and holidays, people who don't know can't see that this is a home with only men.

Wang Defa has also changed a lot, the least favorite field has now become his favorite, every day he doesn't go to his own orchard, he feels that a day seems to be a shortcoming. He is a very receptive person, and he is always the fastest person in the whole team to master when there are fruit tree experts from other places to preach and receive employment, and of course, he is also the best in orchard management.

Looking back, three years have passed in a flash. In the past three years, Wang Defa has not suffered much in terms of money, and the business of the fruit cellar has made him more than enough to maintain the expenses of the whole family, and the situation will be better next year, those apple trees of his family, the first batch of apple trees planted, that is, planted when the woman was alive, can hang fruit next year. With the trees planted at the same time as his family, the absolute harvest of Wang Defa's family is much higher.

Life is like a snowball, the snowball is getting bigger and bigger, and the days, as long as you live seriously, will definitely get better and better. Wang De sent a letter to this truth.

The three children are sensible enough, the stupid Wang Guisheng has grown a lot, he is stupid, and he can't catch up with the flexibility of other children of the same age, and his language expression is still squeaky and whining, but he is no longer the child who always worries Wang Defa, this is the most gratifying thing for three years. With the current situation, he has hope for Guisheng to inherit the Wang family. In the town and in the team, there are examples of fools marrying stupid wives to live their lives, and the children born are very normal.

If others can do it, his stupid son Wang Guisheng can do it, and even Wang Defa wants to save more, and when Guisheng is older, he will use the money to buy him a daughter-in-law back.

In the third year after the woman's death, after the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, Wang Defa found a restaurant in the town and invited the cook to his home to prepare a three-year paper banquet for the woman.

Burning paper for three years is actually not a white thing in the town, but everyone will treat it ceremoniously. Burning paper for three years is much simpler than the atmosphere of mourning, and it is less grief-stricken.

In three years, the dead have become a thing of the past, and the dead have been freed from the torture of reality and illness three years ago; And the living have also come out of the shadow of grief and adapted to a new life away from their loved ones. Therefore, for the dead, the three-year paper time is a white thing, and for the living, the three-year paper is just like the red thing, a red thing that comes out of the sadness, longing, and reluctance of the past.

Burning paper for three years is also a symbol, a symbol of incomparably painful pain. It symbolizes that the person who has left is getting farther and farther away from the heart of the living, and the inextricable connections, longings and reluctance will become fainter and weaker after three years of burning paper, until, no one can remember it. Of course, except for blood relatives, such as Wang Chenglong, who is now about to graduate from elementary school, in her eyes, her mother seems to have never left from her heart, not now, and definitely not in the future.

In the past, when a woman was there, the people of her mother's family would come to Wang Defa's house to visit relatives during the New Year's holidays, but now, even Li Qiyang rarely comes, and Li Qiyang, who goes to relatives in the first few months, is the last few waves to come to Wang Defa's house, come in and sit and rest, drink some water, and leave without even eating a meal.

The relationship between people is linked by a bond, and once the bond is broken, this relationship will no longer exist, and slowly there will be no contact.

Every family in the town has a small notebook, and people who can write will write down some important things on it. The red and white ceremonies of their own family, who came, remember clearly in the book, who has any red and white ceremonies, and also receive it clearly, but where you owe someone else's love, as soon as you hear that there is something in that family, you must go to the market, and return the love to others, this is probably the most traditional courtesy, right?

In the neat courtyard, Wang Defa staggered a lot of borrowed round tables, set up twelve round tables, one table can seat ten people, if there are many people, the flow of water seats, the first table of people who have finished eating, after the withdrawal, quickly clean up and arrange the next table of people to sit.

The work of the meal is all handed over to the master of the hotel, and Wang Defa has not much work to do, and the tools used to burn the paper have been prepared.

The news of burning paper for three years, there is no need to deliberately go to the notice from one by one, and those who want to come to repay the love will naturally remember, and if they don't want to come, even if they call, they will not come.

The next morning, relatives and friends who came one after another crowded the courtyard, there was no need to worry about the time, everyone would come together at the same time, the chefs were busy inside and outside the kitchen, and the banquets were served on the tables in the courtyard.

This banquet is not just here to burn paper for women for three years. During the banquet, people who hadn't seen each other for a long time saw each other shushing and asking for warmth, chatting about the current situation, chatting happily on the table, and everyone couldn't see the slightest sadness, as if it was a red thing dressed in white things.

From this point of view, this is the last thing a woman who has been gone for three years will do for everyone.

The courtyard was very lively, and Wang Defa was busy outside the house, beckoning relatives and friends who came to eat and chat.

Li Qiyang didn't come early, and almost everyone came in when they were preparing to burn paper on the woman's grave. The seats in the courtyard were already full, and Wang Defa didn't know where to arrange Li Qiyang.

"Qiyang, there will be a lot of people here, you have worked hard all the way here, go to the kitchen to eat something first, pad your stomach, and when you come back from your sister's grave, I will make you something delicious."

For Li Qiyang, whether to eat or not is not a problem, although he is also a person from the surrounding town, he knows what it is like to burn paper for three years, but he just can't get used to seeing his sister's sacrifice day, a large group of people eat and drink with smiles.

Time flies, it's been three years, and his hard-working sister has left him for three years. The old lady of the family, he never told his sister about the coming, whenever the old lady asked, he used various languages to prevaricate, slowly, the old lady also seemed to understand, three years, lost a lot of weight, look at that state, can not support too long, will look for her daughter and go.

The procession of paper deliveries marched mightily towards the woman's grave, in stark contrast to the procession of three years ago.

The grave is no longer new soil, and the dry weeds on the grave will once again be rejuvenated in the spring breeze this year, but how can those who sleep in the ground not be able to come back from the dead.

Offerings such as paper and incense brought by relatives and friends burned more and more vigorously in a small flame. Wang Defa took his three children to stir the paper in the fire with a stick in front, how Wang Defa hoped that in the three years without a woman, his suffering and pity could be burned by this flame.

What the hell is life? Or when I feel that the least valuable thing is life, and when I am gone, life seems to be as thin as paper, and it will be over with a single torch.

Behind Wang Defa knelt down were relatives and friends who came to burn paper, and from the moment the flame came up, the words in everyone's mouths stopped. Invariably staring at the flames that flickered, at this moment, in their minds, they should be thinking about the pictures of the former woman's life, after today, those pictures will become fader and fainter, until they will never think of it again.

In the river of the first month, it is still empty, the burning ashes hovering overhead, the fire on the grave has been extinguished, Wang Defa refuses to get up, he is not because he can no longer come to this grave, but because he knows what kind of mood he will come to this grave in the future.

The people in the front row didn't know whether they were going home early or sympathizing with Wang Defa, so they were stunned to mix him up.

"Lao Wang, let's go, let's go! It's almost time. The people on the side persuaded him. When the three children saw their father being mixed up, they all stood up themselves.

Wang Defa staggered with everyone and returned home, the last item was to incense and kowtow to the woman again in the courtyard, and the three-year paper would be over.

People who were full of food and drink said goodbye to Wang Defa one by one at the door, polite words, lies, and truthful words were mixed together, and Wang Defa had no energy to discern, and bowed his head and waist to express his gratitude one by one.

The chef and his helpers were already cleaning up the pots and pans they had brought back from the store, and several young people from the Wang family were helping Wang Defa clean up the tables, chairs and benches in the yard.

"These tables, chairs and benches are all under the house, everyone clean them up, help me send them over."

"Okay, Uncle Wang, whose family is it, you tell us, send it to them in minutes."

After Wang Defa told a few juniors who belonged to the family, he returned to the house and sat down. Looking at the black-and-white photo of the woman on the table, looking at the mess all over the room, even he didn't know what kind of mood he was feeling now.

Wang Chenglong and Wang Laidi are already cleaning up the house, and the two girls have grown up completely. If this is changed before, it is time to marry someone if you don't need it, and your life is such a reincarnation.

Wang Guisheng was still a little immature, and in the pile of firecrackers that had been lit in the yard, he carefully looked for the ones that had not exploded, and after breaking them, he concentrated the gunpowder inside and lit them, repeating his actions over and over again.

The woman's three-year paper was burned like this, and her significance to the Wang family, Wang Defa didn't know how to define it. Feelings must be produced by communication and contact between people, people are gone, feelings will be weak, but as a former wife, former mother, that family affection can not be broken, which is why every New Year's holiday, Wang Defa has to gather the three children together, burn incense and kowtow to women with black and white photos.

People, all their lives are nothing more than struggling on the road to understand three questions, one is "who am I"; One is "Where do I come from"; There is also a "where am I going". Many people, whose lives are over in a hurry, can't figure out the answers to these three questions, and even fewer people can find the true meaning.

If you don't believe it, you go and ask Wang Guisheng, who he is, he definitely doesn't know, let alone where he came from. Asking a fool like this may be a bit of a bully, and Wang Defa doesn't know what kind of answer he has to ask three questions in his life.

The woman has been gone for three years, and the children are getting older day by day, Wang Defa feels that he should also make up for the shortcomings of this family, this matter, he said it alone, it doesn't matter, the key is that the three children have to agree, although they are still young, if they find another woman, they can't get along, and the chickens and dogs are restless every day, it is meaningless.

On the day of the woman's birthday in June, Wang Defa sent the three dolls to school early in the morning, ran a pot of tea, took some steamed buns, took his own cigarettes, and went to the woman's grave, he wanted to have a good chat with the woman about his thoughts, except for the woman under the mound, Wang Defa was difficult to find someone to tell his inner pain.

The tea was padded to the woman, and Wang Defa filled himself with a porcelain smoke pot, and sat on the grave looking at the grass on it.

"Yueping, it's been three years since you let go of this home, and in the past three years, I have truly realized the meaning of your family in this home. What I promised you, I did it all, three babies, all in school, Jackie Chan is indeed as you said, he is a student material, and his younger brother's grades are also improving, anyone can look down on me, but these two babies have given me a lot of face. ”

Wang Defa first told the woman about the current situation. Take a few puffs of the cigarette holder.

"There is one thing, I have to make it clear to you, whether you complain or scold me, I think I can accept it. More than three years ago, after the results of the examination came out, the doctor told me that it was basically an advanced stage, and that it might only be more than half a year. I didn't tell anyone about it, so I asked you to have the cyst surgery done, and to give you a little hope. But when you left, many people poked me in the backbone, saying that I was inhuman, that I was not a man, your brother Li Qiyang did not say it in front of me, but I knew that he hated me in his heart. It's not that I'm ruthless, it's your disease, and everything you do is in vain. ”

If Wang Defa hadn't said this to the woman's grave today, it is estimated that no one would have known about it, and he would have never said it to anyone.

"No matter what, I feel that whether I am doing the right thing or the wrong place, I can pat my chest and tell you that I am wholeheartedly devoted to you and this family. I don't care how others poke me in the backbone, I hope you know and understand me. It's not that I won't treat you, if I can, I'll treat you by smashing the pot and selling iron. ”

"You've been gone for three years, and in the past three years, I've had a good life, I'm alone, both a mother and a father, tired, tired! During this period, someone also mentioned to me that I should complete this home, but I refused, I didn't have that idea, your three-year paper didn't burn, and it was impossible for me to find another one. ”

"Now, the children are used to not you, I am used to not you, and your three-year paper has also been burned. I can barely get by in this family, and I can't do it anymore. Indeed, just like the second child said, I need a companion, today is your birthday, I shouldn't have mentioned this to you, if, if you hear these words, what is your opinion, you can give me a dream, okay? If you don't agree, no matter how hard it is, I can withstand it. ”

Wang Defa said all the words in his heart on the woman's birthday, and felt that the suppressed emotions in his heart had been greatly released. I don't know if the woman will give him a dream, whether she will agree with his idea.

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