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1. On the long-distance bus, I suddenly heard a woman anxiously saying: My son wants to pee, who has an empty bottle, borrow it from me! When I saw that no one was squeaking, I put the half bottle of drink in my hand, raised my head and drank it all, and then handed the bottle to her... More than 20 minutes later, I asked the driver with a painful face: Master, are you almost at the service area? I... I can't hold it anymore!

2. I took my son to walk through a green belt, and my son stepped on the grass in order to take a shortcut, and I was taught not to destroy the greenery. He said with a serious face: Then the Red Army was still stepping on the grass during the 25,000-mile Long March, why don't you care about it? Yes?! I...

3. Go to a parent-teacher conference, and there are a few excellent homework posted on the praise list in the aisle. One student made a sentence like this - as soon as Mom picked up the feather duster, Dad would hug his head and run away. I laughed at the time, and turned to the cover of the homework book to see which child it was, and I saw my son's name...

4. Surfing the Internet at home, suddenly a neighbor knocked on the door and asked me directly: Big brother, how much is the WiFi password of your house, and my little brother rubs the Internet. I scolded him and said, "your grandma!" Then the neighbor actually turned around and left, and knocked on the door again about two minutes, and I opened the door and the neighbor said: Brother, the password is wrong! I...

5. Once when I walked with a boy I liked and just wanted to hold hands, the static electricity snapped and the electricity reached the two of us at the same time. He turned his head and told me very seriously: if a large area is in contact with the conductor, it will not be electrostatically charged. And then he hugged me...

6. I went to a ramen restaurant for dinner today. I asked for a bowl of ramen, and when I was about to pay the bill, I found that my wallet had been stolen. I had no choice but to tell the boss that my wallet was stolen. Can you wait for the next time? The boss said that someone had paid for me just now...

7. When I got home from work that day, as soon as I entered the door, I heard my mother pointing to the TV and saying, "Dad, look!" hit his face, he looks too similar to our son! My dad was also very excited and said, "Oh, it's true, it's exactly like our son!" I was so happy when I heard it, which star did I bump into my face, so I quickly put down my schoolbag and ran to the TV to take a look! Animal World ...... What a parent!

8. My girlfriend asked, "Honey, if I break up with you, will you hate me?" I replied no, and my girlfriend immediately slapped me: "You really thought about breaking up with me"

9. I was disgusted by Xiaofang's parents, I resolutely chose to go out to work, and after my continuous efforts, I became the director of a company, managing hundreds of employees. In order to make Xiaofang's parents regret their decision that year, I drove an 800,000 Audi to his house, and a Ferrari came behind the car.

10. Squeeze the bus today. The driver suddenly braked suddenly...... I accidentally bumped into the breasts of a fat girl next to me. So I apologized repeatedly, thinking that this is over, I don't want to be slapped in the face, I am really unlucky today! But there are accidents everywhere in life, the fat girl just glared at me, and said with a hateful expression: "Count your kid lucky, if this is left in ancient times, I have to force you to marry my wife!"

The old rules, the joke is worshipped!