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CHAPTER XXVI

【Deep Love】

（2022.9.7）

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I learned this word on the first day of my broken love (9.5). My good fortune has truly left my life, and my life, which had been 80% restored to darkness, is now falling back into darkness.

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"It's not that I abandoned you, I really can't help it"

You patted me

"I know you're fine, and I'm 100% unable to find someone who loves me as much as you do, but I can't help it. It's too much pressure. I can't give you the life you want. ”

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In our future, we need to buy a house and settle down, we need firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, we need to get married and have children, you can't do anything, and we have long predicted that the gap between this emotional reality cannot be crossed.

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You have no confidence, life has crushed your waist, there are old and young people in the family, and it all depends on you to work hard. You don't have time to take care of your love, you can't copy your money and give me a rainbow sky.

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I understand you, but I can't identify with you. I know that from the moment you make a deliberate decision, I am no longer the treasure in your heart, I am just the stranger you know best. You don't love me, you don't love me.

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I hate you.

I hate you for breaking my last yearning for love, I hate you for destroying my spiritual pursuit of soulmates in this life, I hate you for not believing that we have a future, I hate you for cneading my heart that I just want to love you into powder.

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In the same way, I love you too.

I love you for giving up my selflessness, love for your fireworks in the world, love for your firmness of reason, love for your perseverance, love for your Buddhist faith, love for your gentleness, love your true feelings and sincerity for loving me.

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You're not wrong, and I'm not wrong.

You think that love needs bread as a foundation, and there is no bread for all empty talk. I think love can create bread, and 1+1 is always greater than 2. Unfortunately, 1+1>2 can no longer be fulfilled in us.

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Farewell. When I am alone to heal the wound and withdraw this attachment, I can no longer bear to be disconnected all the time, and collapse in my own expectations but disappointed every day, I will silently delete you and block you. I once deleted and blocked you 10 times without success, our fate bond is indeed very deep, but the 11th time will definitely succeed, and the lack of fate is really irreparable and unreluctant.

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When love is strong, hatred follows fate, and everything in the world dies

I hope that people will last a long time, and how can people last long

At this time, the tears on the placket are frozen in the stars

After a long night, I confessed in my heart: when will love go out

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CHAPTER XXVII

[We love and kill each other, let's delete each other]

（2022.9.8）

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01

Dale Carnegie once wrote to women:

This woman in the world who can be invulnerable to all poisons has been scarred. The women who can laugh and see the situation have been riddled with holes, and every woman who strives for self-improvement has nowhere to go. Every woman who looks down on love has died in Chongqing. We have gone through thousands of sails and finally understood that the most important thing in a woman's life is to love herself well.

You've found it inappropriate, you've moved away from me, I'll be interested. It's my fault for provoking you. It's my fault that I fell in love with you. It's my fault.

Am I so unworthy of love? There is a little hatred, but thank you for staying away from me, otherwise I would have fallen too much. You don't really love me, you're not my match, you're not my soul mate, you're not my bosom lover who resonates at the same frequency.

fell in love with you on a whim, but I didn't expect it to be so explosive. I still continue to love you with my mind, as long as you don't have a girlfriend, I don't have a boyfriend, I'm waiting for you.

However, after the fate comes, I will naturally not wait for you anymore, and by then I have completely emptied you, because you are not my true fate. Let's draw a happy end to each other's old age and death.

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02

The love before was real, but you didn't love me well, and now I have decided to take back my love. I used to be very coaxing, but you didn't cherish it; It's hard for me to coax me now, and don't regret it.

You don't have to wonder how I've changed, it's you who have extinguished my enthusiasm, I've returned to my composure and sanity, and I'm no longer fantasizing about who can change for me, and I'm no longer allowing myself to compromise for whom.

I loved you before, and I invisibly gave you too much cold violence and my rights. No matter how much love I have, I have been hurt by you and consumed nothing, and it is not enough for me to convince myself to forgive you desperately.

I'm not trying to tell you how to cherish by leaving, I just want to let myself go.

I come with love and anticipation, and of course I hope to get a response from you. But in fact? I will never be able to change a man who can ignore my mood collapse and become a man who cherishes me and loves me and never leaves.

I know you're not going to change. It's not wrong not to love me, how can you change it? I pay, I have the right to stop. You ask for it, and you don't have the ability to ask me to continue.

It doesn't matter if you forget the highest level of a person, if you don't delete the block, the person will completely disappear into your life circle. But I can't do it, so let's delete each other.

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03

The three most spiritual sentences in the "Diamond Sutra", if you can understand it thoroughly, you will be enlightened in an instant. In the first sentence, all appearances are false. If you see things that are not like each other, you will see them as they are. In the second sentence, everything that is illegal is like a dream bubble, like dew and electricity, and should be viewed as such. The third sentence is that the heart cannot be obtained in the past, the heart is not available in the present, and the heart is not available in the future.

These three sentences tell us a truth, that is, don't take everything too seriously, don't be too persistent in encountering things, what should come will always come, and what should be lost will not be kept. Only by not being attached and living in the present moment is the great wisdom of life.

Suffering is life. Tiredness is work. Change is destiny. People are the experience. Dragons are wisdom. Tranquility is self-cultivation. Giving is what you can get. Do it, you will have it.

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04

I was in pain at the moment, and promised me not to cry. I have to accept that a person who is willing to let a person with eyes full of you, open all the sadness, force yourself to let go again and again, with full of disappointment and regret, and finally be sentenced to break up, and you turn away in a dashing way This is a fact.

Promise me okay, wake up......

Did you care about me? Do you really belong to me? Do you love me so deeply that you can't help yourself? Am I your ultimate goal in life? Neither. Where the heart goes, where the heart belongs, if you are wrong, adjust the steering wheel. Not so much why.

I'm nothing more than the love you give up after weighing the pros and cons. Your so-called spoiling is just to be hot and cold to me, cold to me, and make me lose all sense of security without feeling distressed. The love I want is not equal, and I have been retreating from the bottom line, but you still resolutely left.

Promise me okay, wake up......

Shall I stop doing it to myself? If you want to go and go with you, if I bloom, butterflies will come. I will bloom, and I don't care if the butterflies come.

The stars and frost are flickering, and they are endless,

If you gather together, you will rise, and when you end it, you will disperse.

Promise me to love yourself well.

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05

Li Huiying said: If you embrace me in your arms, love me to the bones, and protect me thoroughly, I am willing to blindfold and not tell whether you are a human or a ghost. You treat me sincerely or perfunctory, my heart is like a mirror, I only pretend to be stupid for my liking, I pass by with the spring breeze, and you bring autumn water to the galaxy. Sansheng is fortunate to meet you, even if it is sad, it is love.

Three lives are fortunate to ...... Is it fate?

Fate is a very delicate thing. When you are lonely and helpless, lonely and have nowhere to place, the more you try to find a partner, the more you can't find the ideal partner in your heart.

And when you have given up looking for and are planning to live with loneliness with an uncompromising, uncompromising, and rather than indiscriminate attitude, fate suddenly sends a complete soul mate into your life.

Fate is a mysterious force that cannot be touched, seen and boundless, but it really exists. It is a great fate to meet in the vast sea of people, and if you can cultivate and sleep together with the ferry, it will take a hundred years and thousands of years to achieve the manifestation of positive results.

Many beautiful loves are often just touching themselves, moving themselves to be truly experienced and revealed, paid thoroughly, and exhausted of inner grievances. can also calmly face the smile and talk about the three lives, the three lives are lucky, live up to each other, don't talk about the debt, and be grateful to meet. Everything is just self-plucking. Helpless......

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06

I...... Living with them because of the pain they have experienced in the past or are coming to a low point, I see great compassion in them. Although the world has never given me a lot of love, and even hurt me deeply, I still choose to be kind and love the world hard, and the world will not be devastated by this love and courage.

Any trough that can't be broken through is actually just that I am unwilling to lose, I am just full of fear of the future, I just lost the coordinates of my life, that's all.

Tell myself that I can be fragile for a while, and everyone will have a time when they are confused and painful during the trough. I can choose to lie flat, I can choose to cry wet on the pillow, I can choose to talk to the people around me, and I can even choose to scold at heaven and earth...... How I wish it was just a temporary out-of-control despair.

Teacher Chu Yuan said: No matter what happens outside, no matter what happens outside, regardless of his joys, sorrows, sorrows, grievances, grievances, and hatreds, all of them should be regarded as Bodhi Mirror.

My friend Cancer's favorite wise saying: Bodhi has no tree, and the mirror is not a platform. There was nothing in the first place, where to stir up dust. (Early Tang Huineng "Bodhi Verse" III)

Wise people have a wise attitude towards life.

How I hope that I will temporarily lose control and despair myself, immediately grit my teeth and give myself confidence, survive the trough on my own, use all my strength to digest the pain that is not what I can bear, and continue to counterattack until Nirvana is reborn.

Don't forget to do good, don't forget good. The greatest confidence and courage to be a human being is to be your own master, to remain simple, to maintain your original intention, to believe in the Buddha, to believe in the energy of the universe, and to believe that you can live better and better.

I believe that although I am now at the trough of the second period, if I can survive the first period, I will be able to continue to survive the second period. I survived, and the trajectory of my life will be a spiral!