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★ During the 125 days with Cangxi, Gong Yi learned to do self-media, and the small essays published in XHS have now been deleted.

★ [40] After truly resolving a wound (2022.8.28)

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01

When we truly forgive someone and heal a wound, there are four important changes that will take place in our lives.

1. We will not continue to spend time and energy on the faults of others, we will create our own lives with love.

2. We begin to truly love ourselves and take responsibility for ourselves.

3. At some point in the future, we will be grateful to ourselves today, and we will become a richer and joyier version of ourselves.

4. We will completely resolve this pain, improve our self-energy, and make people have more trust and wisdom in life.

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02

When we resolve a wound, there are four important changes in our lives, which are understood as follows:

1. We will not continue to spend time and energy on the faults of others, we will create our own lives with love.

For a very long time, we unconsciously played the role of victims. Yes, we can complain, we can fight and even retaliate.

But have we ever thought about what we really want, whether to continue to spend time and energy on the faults of others, or to responsibly create the life we want with love for ourselves? When you forgive someone. That's when you start to truly love yourself.

2. We begin to truly love ourselves and take responsibility for ourselves.

When we begin to truly love ourselves, responsibly and responsibly create the life we want with love for ourselves, your life will be truly improved. You will meet better people, work better, and become a richer and happier version of yourself.

3. At some point in the future, we will be grateful to ourselves today, and we will become a richer and joyier version of ourselves.

Let's imagine a time in the future when we have become a richer and joyier version of ourselves.

Looking back from God's point of view, will we sincerely thank the person who hurt us and the person who did their best to change the trajectory of our lives? Without him, would we have lost the opportunity to become who we are today?

When we forgive someone, it means that we have reaped the gift of growth, and the pain is no longer a pain, but a beautiful grace.

4. We will completely resolve this pain, improve our self-energy, and make people have more trust and wisdom in life.

I think the fourth major shift, after the first three shifts, will completely heal the wound. From the law of conservation of energy, we will no longer attract people like us who grieve and grieve, and similar injuries will not reappear in our lives.

We've done this homework perfectly, gaining some sort of energy immunity. Mentally, we have gained a tremendous uplift, we have a more complete understanding and awareness of pain and challenges, and we have more trust and security in life.

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★ During the 125 days with Cangxi, Gong Yi learned to do self-media, and the small essays published in XHS have now been deleted.

★ [41] A good ambiguity is just worship + example(2022.8.29)

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01

The most critical period of liking a person is to have a certain liking for him, but no good feeling can determine the degree of the relationship. This stage is ambiguous. Ambiguity is the most powerful productive force in human emotions.

What kind of emotion is ambiguity? How does it feel? Whether it is ambiguous between the two parties at the same time or ambiguous on one side, in fact, it is fundamentally that we like an omnipotent shadow, and the seed of hope that we can help us get out of the predicament at the moment.

He is a very powerful emotion, he makes us spit out the old and become a better version of ourselves. Once we grow up and receive more love, he may fall off the altar in an instant. Perhaps, it became a favorite in an instant.

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02

The "ambiguity" here is given the definition of "pseudo-ambiguous", that is, "pseudo-ambiguous". False sexual ambiguity is not an extravagant hope that the relationship between the sexes can be further developed, but just a personal liking and the joy of living in the moment. Personally, I like to take the good qualities and intellectual talents of the ambiguous object as an example, and turn it into a motivation to improve myself. If you have to say that this is spiritual derailment, then you are mentally clean. (It's not bad to have a clean spirit, but it varies from person to person.) ）

The object of pseudo-ambiguity can be celebrity idols, elders, teachers, professionals, and so on. What they have in common is almost all high-quality men and women with explosive temperament, eye-catching appearance, and great connotation.

As long as this kind of high-quality men and women play, they will be fascinated by thousands of people, so in my opinion, the false ambiguity I understand is worship. Because of worship, I want to get closer to it, infinitely attach an aura to the object of worship, and fall in love with Guanhuan as a driving force for self-improvement and learning.

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03

Take myself as an example, Sammi Sammi is an idol I have been obsessed with since I was a teenager. I love her strength, her self-discipline, her hard work, her single-mindedness to Xu Zhi'an, and her personality charm is worth learning from all my life. The object of pseudo-sexual ambiguity can be of the same sex.

False ambiguity is a kind of love that does not ask for anything in return, and it is a counterattack process that happily learns the advantages of the ambiguous object every day. This kind of ambiguous days are beautiful every day. Pseudo-ambiguity focuses on the process.

True ambiguity is the hope that through self-change, the ambiguous object's favorability of himself will be improved, and he looks forward to the possibility of further development one day. True ambiguity focuses on results.

If we fall into true ambiguity, we may feel anxious and internally exhausted, suffering from gains and losses. The ambiguity of this thing is too erosive to the mind. How to adjust the mentality as soon as possible and change from true ambiguity to false ambiguity. First of all, ask yourself, can you be happy when your mind is confused? Isn't it a beautiful thing to like?

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★ During the 125 days with Cangxi, Gong Yi learned to do self-media, and the small essays published in XHS have now been deleted.

★ [42] Middle-aged divorced women must know how to make money and stand on the rivers and lakes (2022.8.30)

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01

People yearn for their lives to be full of love, wine glasses and lovers, happy marriages, and growing old together. However, when people reach middle age, once the relationship deteriorates, separation is the only way out. When there is no one to warm up after a divorce, who will be more desolate?

Some say that people who are not financially independent are even more bleak. The reason is that economic independence is always a person's greatest personality confidence. Both men and women, in marriage, if they rely too much on each other and expect each other to fulfill their lives in terms of money, they must lose in the end. If you lose each other, you will lose the most basic source of life and living conditions, can you not be desolate?

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02

Luo Zijun in the TV series "The First Half of My Life", the male protagonist said "I raise you", which made her believe in love, so she gave up her job after marriage and became a pampered full-time wife with peace of mind. Only eight years later, it was also the male protagonist's words, they divorced, and Luo Zijun fell into the abyss.

No financial resources, no work experience. After the divorce, Luo Zijun hit a wall everywhere, so that when the male protagonist turned around and devoted himself to a new life, he could only sit on the street and cry bitterly.

What a realistic and bloody portrayal of life. What a terrible thing it is for a woman to not have her own financial independence. Money is the foundation of a person's survival.

In this economic era, it is difficult to move an inch without money, and survival will become a problem. Money will support a person's confidence and bring him a life of self-esteem.

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03

How important a job is for a woman! Of course, some people will contradict me that having a strong mother's backing can also be worry-free.

That's true, but those exist only in a very small number of well-to-do family backgrounds. It is natural that they can rest easy for a lifetime, and their lives are really good.

However, most people still grow up in working families, and they also need a job to make ends meet.

Therefore, please do not judge the problem by a very small number of people with excellent lives, and look at the problem in a partial way, which can only be a mental illness to avoid the problem, and it will not have any effect on the solution itself.

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Please believe me, a job is really too important for a woman, a money earned through her own efforts, this is called incense. Reaching out for money is beggar behavior, and none of us want to be beggars.

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04

Ex:

"I found out that I loved my ex-wife more and more, and you know what it's like to love someone and not be able to be together? It is a feeling of longing for the stars during the day and daylight at night. Gradually, I found that it was better for my ex-wife, so I wanted to get back together with my ex-wife, but my ex-wife did not agree, her heart was sacred to marriage and could not be betrayed. ”

Ex:

"You betrayed me, and from the moment of betrayal, please remember the cycle of cause and effect, the consequences that you planted because of your own suffering. There are thousands of kinds of love in the world, and very few loves can be repeated, but betrayed love can never be repeated. Some people will go away if they are hurt once, and they will never have a chance again if they are betrayed. If you fail to cherish me when you should have cherished me, you will have to endure the pain of separation for the rest of your life. Please remember the saying, a good marriage is deadly, and a bad marriage is deadly. ”

Marriage is the grave of love, a good marriage can turn a woman into a child, and similarly, a broken marriage can turn a woman into a madman. One thought becomes a Buddha, and one thought becomes a demon.

Marriage is the biggest bet in a woman's life, and when the marriage fails, what affects the woman is likely to be a lifetime of loneliness and unhealable pain.

When the marriage is broken, if there is not even a job, the woman will not only be abandoned by feelings, but also by life. The life in society is all rivers and lakes, and without money, you can't mix in the rivers and lakes. In any case, women can't lose their way to survive with money, and don't be abandoned by the rivers and lakes.