"Big lady......" The familiar shout came from behind him.

Qing Kui panted and caught up, and said aggrievedly, "Don't you want Qing Kui again?" ”

Zhang Yan smiled ashamedly, reached out and patted Qingkui's cheek, "How come?" ”

"That's good." Qingkui simply put her mind at ease.

"What's that?" Zhang Yan's gaze fell on the large package that Qing Kui was carrying on her back.

"Oh." Qing Kui remembered, hurriedly took it down and handed it to Zhang Yan, "This is the package that Lu Langjun asked the slave to send over." ”

Zhang Yan was stunned for a moment and opened the package.

Inside the package, there was some money and a few clean changes of clothes.

The money was in a pocket, and it consisted of ten minas of silver, and a few pieces of copper. The clothes were made of fine materials, cleanly washed, and carefully ironed and folded.

“…… Lu Langjun asked me to tell the eldest lady," Qing Kui's ignorant but innocent voice sounded softly in his ears, "said that the eldest lady is now single, and many things are inconvenient, so you must accept these things and let him rest assured." ”

**************

"Yanyan is flying, and the pond is feathered. The son is home, and he is sent far away. Looking at the Buddha, weeping like rain!

Zhong's Ren only, his heart is congested. In the end, it is warm and benevolent, and it is prudent. The thought of the ancestors, to help the widow! ”

With a "poof", the strings couldn't stand the fatigue and broke.

Liu Ying raised her hand in a daze, looked at the white cloth wrapped in her palm, and sighed. Turning around, he commanded, "Guan Sheng." ”

Guan Shengxiao walked up to the stage, bowed his head with his chest, "The slave is here." ”

"Tell me to go down, let Lang Wei clean up, and according to the original plan, Ming'er will go back to Chang'an." The back is very depressed.

Guan Sheng was a spirit, and he said. "Master, you might as well make a decision slowly."

For a while, he regretted it slightly, but the previous words had already come out, so he had to grit his teeth and continue, "The master came out this time, and he worked hard just for Madame." Now that Mrs. hasn't replied, why did she just go back? ”

Liu Ying plucked the strings with her right index finger, and said, "Ah Yan." She won't go back. ”

"Master," Guan Sheng said bitterly. "Madame, that's just angry talk. If the master is really serious, he is just sad for himself, and it will be difficult for his wife to step down. ”

Liu Ying raised her eyes and glanced at Guan Sheng lightly, "Madame, you can also talk nonsense?" ”

Cold sweat trickled out from his forehead, and Guan Sheng fell to the ground with a bang. "The slave is guilty, but the slave still has something to say."

"The slave is a maid, and she has never had a female companion who can understand her since she was a child. Although I don't understand the relationship between men and women, I understand it on the avenue of human affection. Don't be afraid of the master laughing, being our internal servants, figuring out the master's mind is the most basic homework. The slave maid knew that Mrs. Zhi was forced to take her life that day. forced the master to let her go. It's just that the slave maid thought that the bronze sword had been hanging on the east wall of the room that day, and Mrs. Ruo really didn't have any nostalgia for her master. You can do this when you were happy before, and with the master's affection for his wife, he can only let her go. She didn't touch the bronze sword, did she? ”

He laid his hands flat in front of him, his forehead touching the ground. Don't dare to get up. I waited for a while, but I didn't hear the movement of the master above. Secretly raised his head for a minute, and caught a glimpse of Liu Ying sitting there, looking stunned and a little stunned.

"You mean to say," Liu Ying's voice hesitated, "Ah Yan, she's not really angry with me, is she?" ”

"Then you have to ask the master himself." Guan Sheng kowtowed again,

"After all, the person closest to Madame is the master. The person who knows the lady best is also the master. It's just that the slave maid thought, Mrs. was born in a noble family, she has been the queen mother since she was a child, and the eldest lord is a proud person, she resolutely refused to return to Chang'an before, and now even if her heart is loose, she is embarrassed to turn around and regret it. ”

……

"Let's go down."

Guan Sheng responded with a "no" and went backwards, but the corners of his mouth couldn't help but curl an arc, and he quickly threw away the towel in his hand, he thought, he didn't need to inform Lang Wei to pack his luggage for the time being.

There are only six strings left in the guqin in her hand, Liu Ying did not replace it with new strings, and the brisk sound of the piano sounded again, lacking the sound of change, this song "Zheng Feng? "The Mountain Has Fusu" carries a bright hope.

Liu Ying recalled every word Ah Yan said before parting that day. Her grievances and grievances were all true, but, in that fierce quarrel that did not last but consumed all their mental energy, from beginning to end, she did not say that she did not love him.

Looking back now, she seemed to care about something, so she kept questioning, but she was first filled with the joy that her long-cherished wish had finally been fulfilled, and then she suddenly fell from the top of happiness to the valley, and her mind was messy, and she didn't hear what she meant.

The two seemed to be going farther and farther on different forks in the road, and in the end, Ah Yan ran away angrily.

The corners of his lips lifted again.

I thought that I and Ah Yan, this time, really came to the end. But when I turned back, I found that in fact, if I turned a corner, I could still see the hope of light.

After experiencing despair, you can still see hope, and that hope is especially precious.

As long as there is hope, it is good.

Because, where there is hope, there is still the possibility of realization, and if there is only despair, there is nothing.

What kind of means can be used to regain hope?

*******************

"Mr. Guan here is my friend, he is the scribe of the county guard's mansion, and now he lives in the county guard's mansion, his house has been empty, and the eldest lady can rest assured when he lives in."

Zhang Yan stood outside the door, nodded, and looked at Meng Guan, his eyes were meaningful, "Meng Gongzi really knows the world, and he knows people everywhere." ”

Meng Guan hugged his sword and smiled, "Am I a ranger?" ”

Zhang Yanyan smiled, the smile was put away in an instant, and said lightly, "That day, I didn't wait for you at the city gate." ”

Meng Guan's expression also became calm, "It was my negligence that caused the eldest lady to be in danger that day." ”

"On that day, I hurried to the east gate as I had promised. But he was stopped on the road. The man who stopped me was on par with me, and I tried my best to get rid of him. Only later did I hear about ......"

Zhang Yan's eyes flickered slightly, and she muttered. "Is that really the case?"

"Meng Guan," she raised her eyebrows to look at him, "is our one-year agreement still valid?" ”

"Nature." Meng Guan's voice was loud, "Ranger is dead and alive, this question of yours is an insult to me. ”

"Okay, then." Zhang Yan smiled faintly, "You go and help me find out, who is planning me behind the scenes." Find a ranger with such skills to stumble you, and at the same time instigate Min Ruo to trouble me. ”

Meng Guan nodded, "Got it." ”

Aoi knocked on the door outside. came in with a copper basin and asked curiously, "Big lady, is Mr. Meng gone again?" ”

"Hmm."

She wrung out the veil and placed it on the rim of the copper basin. Then he began to clean up the house for Zhang Yan, and his eyes swept over Zhang Yan standing in front of the window, intentionally or unintentionally.

"Big lady, we ...... Don't you go back to Shanan? ”

Zhang Yan sighed and put down the scroll in her hand, "Doesn't Qingkui like it here?" ”

"It's not that I don't like it." Qing Kui hurriedly explained and put down the work in his hand. Biting his lip and standing aside, "It's just that this is not our home after all." ”

Family?

Suddenly I heard this word. Zhang Yan lost her mind for a moment.

Qingkui is just a fifteen or sixteen-year-old girl, and the last thing she wants to remember in her life is the hardship and hardship when she and her mother relied on each other to make a living after Ah Weng's death. Later, he was taken by Zhang Yan and has been very happy. has long regarded the small courtyard in Shanan County as his home.

However, for myself. Can it really replace the past and become its own complete home?

Zhang Yan suddenly lost interest.

"Big lady......" Qingkui asked. On that day, at Lu Langjun's house, did anything happen? ”

"Help me light a tranquil incense." Zhang Yan said suddenly, a little stiff, "I'm tired and want to sleep." ”

Qing Kui choked, "No." ”

……

"In the past few days, I have returned to Shanan." Meng Guan reported carefully, "The Min family has all fallen. The male in the family is the head of the family, and the female dependents are assigned as slaves. ”

Zhang Yan was silent for a moment, "And then?" ”

"Most of those who used to hang out with Min Ruo were also arrested by the government. I went to the prison to ask them, and someone pointed out that a middle-aged man surnamed Wang met Min Ruo that day, and Min Ruo rushed to the city gate to find you. ”

"A man with the surname Wang?" Zhang Yan thought thoughtfully, "Do you know his identity?" ”

Meng Guan shook his head, "I only know that he is about forty years old, of medium stature, wearing a green coat that day, and a cyan birthmark on his left hand. ”

"Go ahead and inquire." Zhang Yan commanded.

Meng Guan nodded, turned to leave, and when he stepped out of the hall, he suddenly turned around and said, "That's right—when I returned to the clouds, I met that person at the city gate." ”

Zhang Yan was stunned for a moment before she reacted, the person Meng Guan said was exactly what he was referring to...... Liu Ying.

“…… He asked me to tell you that he can't be by your side after that, so you have to be careful. ”

The copper ladle in the cup hit the wall of the ceramic ear cup with a sound, Zhang Yan put down the trembling hand holding the cup, and said abruptly, "He-has already left?" ”

"Hmm. When I met him, he was riding out of the city gate with his attendants. ”

Meng Guan still said something in his ear, and he was already far away.

She just felt empty in her heart.

Why am I so uncomfortable?

She pressed her heart and asked herself blankly.

She didn't know what kind of answer she could give herself, she just-Huo got up, lifted the corner of her skirt and ran out.

The house where Liu Ying lived before was in Baiyunfang, east of the middle of Cloud City. To get to the housekeeper's house, you have to pass through four long streets and three corners. She had only walked this road once, that is, when she left him that day, she had always been a little deficient in the direction, and she would never remember the road she had walked without going through ten or eight times. This time, he miraculously did not make a mistake, and turned every street corner accurately, until above the three-foot gate, the golden copper shop came into his eyes.

She stepped forward and knocked on the door. But the door opened with a babbling sound, and it was untethered. The wind blew, and the door slammed against the stone foundation.

Inside the gate, the courtyard was empty, the grass and trees were lonely, and there were so many people living a few days ago, but in a blink of an eye, they were empty.

She lifted the corners of her skirt. Stepping into the gate and walking along the bluestone road, the room was quiet, and there was no sound.

She stood alone in the empty courtyard, and for a moment did not speak.

A man stepped out of the corner door, saw her, looked surprised, and asked, "This little lady." You are......? ”

Zhang Yan came back to her senses and hurriedly asked, "What about the people who lived here before?" ”

"Someone before? Oh. You mean Lu Langjun. The person who came said with a smile, "A few days ago, he said that there was something at home in Chang'an, and he had already gone back." The house was vacant, and my master sent me to clean it up. Sealed for the time being. ”

She came out in a state of despair.

He...... I really just left, and I didn't even leave a letter to myself.

Subconsciously, she always thought so, even if she was really disheartened, and turned away, before leaving. He would have told him too.

Zhang Yan, she closed her eyes, what are you thinking? All the words were spoken on that day. How else do you need to say goodbye?

She stood on the street, her heart was lost, looking at the people coming and going on the long street, looking so lively and angry, her heart. But it feels like ice and snow are slowly falling. It's a little cold.

"Ah Weng, I want to eat osmanthus cake."

The child's crisp and coquettish voice suddenly sounded beside her.

She looked up blankly and saw a child of five or six years old holding his father's hand and passing by her.

He turned to his father, smiled up, and repeated again, "Aoong, osmanthus cake." ”

"Okay." The father laughed, picked up the child, and put it on his shoulder, "Ah Weng will buy it for you later, well, and buy your mother's favorite corn cake, let's go back and eat it together." ”

"Oh. I went to buy corn cakes for my mother. ”

Her tears fell as soon as she brushed up.

It's just a short sentence that is no longer commonplace, but it evokes the deepest sorrow in her heart.

She had left her home behind.

From now on, even if she finds another home, it will not be the home she originally owned. The security and warmth she had drawn from Ah Weng, Ah Niang, Empress Lu and Liu Ying would never be available again.

finally realized: This time, Liu Ying really left her.

Between her and Liu Ying, ten years of entanglement, love, hate, sorrow and joy swept through her heart together, she hadn't thought it through, she hadn't really figured out the relationship between them, he had already left.

From now on, Liu Ying and Zhang Yan will never have a relationship with each other.

When this realization really came to mind, Zhang Yan squatted down, covered her face, and cried bitterly.

With a familiar sigh at the corner of the long street, the young man walked out and stopped in front of her, "Are you always so hard-mouthed and soft-hearted?" His voice was low and a little hoarse.

Zhang Yan trembled and didn't dare to look up, only to see the hem of the man's dark clothes embroidered with vermilion moire.

He coughed and continued, "I was already planning to go back to Chang'an, but Ah Yan, I found that I forgot to bring something. ”

Tears fell, and she looked up and crashed into the dark and warm gaze. Xuanshang, Zhu Lu, has a pair of beautiful phoenix eyes, and a peaceful expression.

"Already?" She asked hesitantly, a few suspicions that it was a dream.

"Yes."

Tears were still rolling in the apricot kernel's eyes, but Zhang Yan couldn't help but smile. She thought she was desperate, but she found that the light still did not abandon herself, the willows were bright, and the peaks turned suddenly, this kind of ups and downs made her not want to hide herself at all, interrupting what Liu Ying wanted to continue to say, and threw herself into Ying's arms, regardless of it.

Liu Yingfeng's eyes widened slightly in surprise, took a step back, resisted the momentum generated by her pounce, hugged the warm fragrant nephrite in her arms, and couldn't help but curl the corners of her lips, "Okay." The streets are full of people, and you don't feel too cold - come with me. ”

He clenched her hand, pulled her to run along the long street, passed through four long streets, three corners, entered the housekeeper's gate under the surprised gaze of the people in the clouds, passed through Chen Dao, the middle hall, and the long corridor, and finally pushed open the door and entered Zhang Yan's bedroom.

The lilac drapery hangs low, the wool carpet spreads a warm space, and the small bookcase under the window is filled with fresh flowers in a round vase. Under the lotus tent, the soft couch is thick and elegant. This small bedroom is decorated by her, elegant and fresh, with her unique faint fragrance. Now, another breath belonging to a man has suddenly broken into this heaven and earth. Liu Ying hugged her and fell on the thick brocade couch. Unconsciously, Zhang Yan's green hair fell. Liu Ying kissed Ah Yan's eyebrows, eyes, neck, and chest, and a large area of jade-like skin was exposed, warm and exuding amazing heat.

"Hold on."

Zhang Yan's body leaned back slightly when she was confused, her skin glowed with a pink hue, and her apricot eyes glowed with joy. She called the name one after another, emotional and soft tone, making Liu Ying almost crazy, tightly clasping her waist, in Zhang Yan's crying murmur, with her ten fingers tightly intertwined, the roots of the hair intertwined, love to the depths, there seems to be a feeling that they have always been alone, but one day for some reason, they were divided into two halves. Now it is put together again that it is complete.

When all the passion was over, the two gasped for breath, and they couldn't believe the surging passion that had just erupted.

When reason gradually returned to her heart, Zhang Yanfu remembered the disputes they still had before. Don't look away in embarrassment, and want to get up. But Liu Ying grabbed her waist fiercely and looked into her eyes, "Ah Yan, do you want to go again?" ”

She was so embarrassed that she didn't even know where to put her hands, and begged, "Can you let me go first?" "Jin Ji has already been thrown aside. Now she is not an inch, because of the passion that has just ended, her slender legs are still in a parted position, and Liu Ying is covering her, so that she can't close. She really didn't have the courage to talk to him in such an awkward position.

Liu Ying was keenly aware of her stiffness and shyness, squinted her eyes, and laughed, "Don't let go." If you don't give me an answer today, I won't let you go. ”

Seeing it with your own eyes doesn't lie. When you think that I have returned to Chang'an, the sad tears on the long street are not pretended. In that case, you are not ruthless to me in your heart. Why would you rather proudly insist on being alone and lonely than go back to Chang'an with me?

He remembered that day, he thought that he would not be able to find Ah Yan after all, and the despair at that time, now that he thinks about it, his mood is still obscure. Unwilling to let Ah Yan notice, he put his face on her shoulder.

Zhang Yan felt a little damp burning on her skin, and her heart was slightly sore, showing a little helplessness, and said softly, "Hold it, you let go of me." Let me think about it. ”

"This time, I'll give you a real answer."

——5409 words, revised on May 10, 2011