10

When I arrived in London, my mental health took a turn for the worse.

Every day there are many experts who speak in a language I don't understand, ask me about my past over and over again, and ask me to recall what is most painful for me.

Xie Qiao ran to my apartment as soon as he had time, and in order not to worry them, I could only smile and say that the effect was not bad.

But in fact, I didn't take any of the drugs prescribed by the psychiatrist, and I was sick when I saw those things.

After leaving Shen Brew, I gradually became dependent on sleeping pills.

Every night when I curl up in bed and can't sleep, I spend night after night by stroking the ring on my hand.

Before passing through the customs, Xie Qiao asked me if I regretted it, and if I told Shen Brew about my condition, maybe he would be willing to wait for me.

I shook my head.

There's no need for that.

He deserves a better life, a happy life, and there is no place for me in that.

In fact, I know that Shen Brew is such an arrogant person who is willing to put down his body and explain it to me, even... Keeping me.

What he gave me, what he didn't give me, all my unwillingness and regrets in the past were relieved at that moment.

He liked me too, and that's good.

But that's why he shouldn't be tied up by me.

I was mentally in a state that scared even myself.

When I come here, I rarely sleep soundly even with medication.

I always dream of Aunt Yue, of the past.

In the dream, there was a young girl sitting on the ground crying, covered in scars.

The woman slowly walked towards me and took my hand, and she said, "As before, come on, will Aunt Yue take you away?" ”

"As always, let's go with Auntie, I can take care of you again."

I shrank back.

She sank her face, "As you always do, don't you listen to me?"

A great sense of fear rose from the bottom of my heart, and a heart-rending cry seemed to be out of my throat, from the bottom of my heart.

Xie Qiao was the first to rush in, followed by my parents.

"As it is, it's me, Xie Qiao." He grabbed my hand.

I looked at him for a moment, then pushed him away with all my strength.

"Don't come here!" I screamed again, closed my eyes and shrank into the corner.

Screams echoed throughout the room.

I smashed everything around me that could be smashed, "Get out, you get out of here." ”

At the end of that day, I forgot how I fell asleep, and when I opened my eyes again, Xie Qiao looked extremely tired.

I was lying in bed with very dry eyes.

"Xie Qiao, I'm sorry." I tilted my head and said hard.

His tears fell on my face.

I'm sorry, I tried my best, and I thought it would be cured.

"It's going to be okay, it's going to be okay." Xie Qiao held my hand and said it over and over again.

For the next half month, Xie Qiao and his parents took turns to accompany me and supervise me to take medicine.

The medication made me more and more nauseous and the side effects became more and more obvious.

I began to lose a lot of hair, whether it was food or medicine, as long as I ate it, I would vomit it without exception.

I want to say forget it, I don't want to be cured, but I can't say anything when I look at them running around and working.

It's almost April in London now, and the branches outside the window are tender and green, and new shoots are drawn.

After spitting out all the drugs again, I really didn't want to hold on.

I wrote a letter and put it on my desk.

After that, he locked the bathroom door and sat in the bathroom with a ring in his hand.

"Shen Brew... Shen Brew—" I muttered, my consciousness blurring...

My mind drifted back to my student days, which was one of the few sweetness I remember.

Shen Brew stood under the tree and called out my name, "Wen Rusu." ”

The timbre is as clear as a pearl...

It's nice that even in the years when he hated me the most, we had a good time...