Chapter5(2017)

New Year’s Day.

I went to the coffee shop where Lin Meow worked to talk to her.

There are very few people in the shop.

I had asked her what time she was leaving work a day in advance.

At three o'clock in the afternoon, Lin Meow got off work and sat in front of me.

"I'm probably leaving." Lin Meow said.

"I graduated this year, and in the past year, my studies have been wasted a lot."

"If this continues, the graduation thesis will not be able to be written."

I nodded and didn't speak.

"What about you, how are you doing? Is it going well with your girlfriend? ”

Lin Meow saw that I didn't speak, and led the topic to me.

I smiled and nodded, "It's okay, we're getting along pretty well." ”

"You're going to get married this time." Lin Meow asked with a smile.

"Well, almost." I nodded.

Lin Meow pursed her lips, "Congratulations." ”

"What's that expression?" I asked Lin Meow.

"How can I say it, another man who has walked into the grave of marriage." Lin Meow's tone was very light.

"Actually, there is no need to be so pessimistic." I said with a smile.

"Marriage is a besieged city, people on the outside want to go in, people inside want to come out."

"Qian Zhongshu said." Lin Meow added.

I smiled and didn't speak.

"Do you have any other plans after you leave here, you want to focus on studying?"

"Well, first of all, I have to prepare my graduation thesis, and it will take several rounds of review, and then I have to go to the place arranged by the school for an internship."

I nodded, "Prepare well, graduation certificates, diplomas, it's still very important." ”

"Yes, isn't this the result of four years of school?"

There is no need to talk too much to Lin Meow, she can carry many things in her heart.

At the end of January, Lin Meow left the café.

The place where we met was changed to Qing Bar again.

At eight o'clock in the evening, Lin Meow took her laptop with her.

She arrived before me and sat there staring at the screen intently.

"So hard?" I walked over and sat down and said.

"Well, I'll have to find the literature." Lin Meow didn't look up and answered me directly.

After I sat down, Lin Meow put away the notebook.

I ordered a drink.

Lin Meow showed me a few videos of Kabu.

Kabu has grown from a palm-sized kitten to a giant hairball.

After a glass of wine, Lin Meow's eyes became confused again.

I actually miss a little nostalgic, how long has it been since she has opened up after drinking like this?

"Sometimes I feel like my life is like a dream."

I don't know if I haven't drunk for too long, Lin Meow seems to be a little drunk today.

"Maybe it's because I don't want to believe that what I've experienced so far is true."

"So hope is a dream."

"But no, I've had a very happy experience."

"When I was in school, I liked a girl."

"But I secretly like it." Lin Meow glanced at me and smiled wickedly.

"It's also because of her that I doubt I'm going to be bisexual."

"I've never seen a girl with such a good personality."

"Good family conditions, good looks, and good temper."

"She likes girls, and that's when she told us."

"But I had a good time with her."

"Then you didn't talk to her—" I still didn't ask.

"No, as much as I would be skeptical, the knee-jerk reaction is still resistant to such love." Lin Meow held the wine glass in his hand and shook his head and said.

Her face was already flushed with a faint drunken flush.

"But it was really happy back then."

"I really like her, but I can't tell if it's friendship or love."

"We play together, we laugh together, we laugh together."

Lin Meow closed his eyes, as if reminiscing.

"It's a pity it's all gone."

"I think she must have had a more exciting life."

"That time of ours, in her mind's head, may have passed with time."

"I found that in the long river of time, the one with a good memory is always me."

Lin Meow laughed self-deprecatingly and took another sip of wine.

"Alas....." Lin Meow sighed, and there was a heavy smell of wine in his mouth.

"When I'm sick, I want time to pass quickly, and when I'm happy, I want time to stand still."

"Neither of these can be achieved, and this is probably the fairest place for time."

Lin Meow sighed.

This night, Lin Meow drank three cups of Long Island Iced Tea.

I vaguely felt that she was not in a good mood.

But she didn't say why.

"Lin Meow, you're drunk, I'll send you home."

"Okay, go home, Kabu is still waiting for me." Lin Meow nodded and stood up.

Mid-February, in the evening, the library.

Lin Meow's opening report was killed by the tutor.

She had to reopen the question.

I accompanied her to the library to read a book.

Lin Meow was looking for information, and I found a few books on photography.

The university's library requires a campus card to enter, and Lin Meow specially borrowed her roommate's campus card for me to use.

We watched for about two hours, went down to the first floor, and ordered two cups of coffee at the small café in the building.

"Let's go in a while, and we will have dinner together in the evening." Lin Meow said to me.

I looked up at Lin Meow, "Well, okay." ”

A small rotating hot pot that we eat directly in the school cafeteria.

After eating, we went to the Qing bar.

Lin Meow still ordered Long Island Iced Tea.

"Lin Meow, what's wrong with you?"

"Huh?" Lin Meow looked up at me.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not quite right."

Lin Meow smiled.

"Nothing, a little unhappy."

I didn't speak, and Lin Meow took a few more sips of wine.

"A few days ago, L's mother came."

L is the little boyfriend of Lin Meow's coffee shop, he is not surnamed Lin, and I just know what his surname is.

"This is not his hometown, it was his mother who bought him a house here."

"We used to live together, and after his mother came, she always talked to me when L was away from work."

"Yes, it's not a chat, it's a conversation."

"L may have told her mom about my family."

"His mother said that after graduation, she married L and had a child in two years."

"She also said that my dad raised me and shouldn't ignore him like this."

"I said I wouldn't have children until I had such good conditions."

"She asked me, 'And how good do you want?' Didn't I raise L when the conditions were bad in the past? ’”

"She said, 'Besides, the conditions for that big money are good, can that big money take a fancy to you.'"

Lin Meow said indifferently.

"What the do you say?" I was speechless in astonishment.

Lin Meow nodded expressionlessly.

"Not only that, but she wouldn't let me wash my face with running water, saying I was too wasteful."

I couldn't speak, so I picked up my glass and took a sip of wine.

"I really like L, he respects me very much, I said I wouldn't get married, and he didn't mind."

"He said it would be nice for two people to be happy together."

"But I didn't expect his mother to be so strong."

"So, the scariest thing about marriage that scares me is that it turns the relationship between two people into a relationship between two families."

"You have to treat people you don't know as family, even if you don't like them."

"That's... Are you separated? I couldn't help but ask.

Lin Meow nodded and didn't speak.

"It's already doomed to have no results, so why delay each other any longer."

"I moved back from him to my rented house after that day."

"By the way, his mother also said to me, 'I don't even have a baby if I have a cat.'" ”

Lin Meow shook her head helplessly.

"Don't speculate more than half a sentence." Lin Meow finally concluded.

Lin Meow should still be sad.

It can be seen that she likes L very much.

Early March.

Lin Meow's circle of friends.

"I don't want to give you hope to delay you,

I don't want to hurt you by saying cruel things,

As of today,

I don't regret ever being with you,

But I also want to be able to live a good life in the future.

So, let's stop contacting each other and leave it at that.

I wish you happiness. ”

I sent Lin Meow an expression hugging the villain.

Lin Meow replied with the same expression.

At the end of March, Lin Meow's second opening was also killed.

The supervisor chose a thesis topic for her.

Lin Meow began to write her thesis proposal for the third time.

In mid-April, Lin Meow completed the opening report.

We were able to sit and talk to each other.

"You're going to intern soon." I asked.

"Well, it started in May, and now the internship unit has been allocated."

"I did an internship at the experimental elementary school."

"That's how you and L separated?"

"So what else can I do..."

"I'm destined to have no future, so I'll finish it early."

"Still sad?" I asked.

"It's okay, after a few nights of crying, it's much better."

"The first few days were very sad, and I had a cold at that time, and I couldn't speak with a sore throat."

"Even crying is whimpering." Lin Meow sighed after speaking.

"It's all gone." I raised my glass to Lin Meow.

Lin Meow picked up the cup and touched it with me.

"What about you? Emotional life should be smoother than mine, right? Lin Meow asked me with a bitter face.

"It's okay, I've seen my family." I say.

Lin Meow smiled, "It seems that this is really going to get married." ”

I didn't speak.

At the end of May, let's clear it.

Lin Meow has been interning for a month, and her throat has fallen.

"The most I eat now are lozenges."

"Don't look at us as psychology majors, when we get to school, we are substitutes."

"Those kids are so energetic."

"It's too much of a stretch to shout at them every day."

I listened to it slowly in Lin Meow's smoky voice.

"During this time, I came into contact with children of different ages."

"Children are really energetic, and they have to complain to the teacher about everything."

"Teacher! He touched my table! Teacher! He scolded me! Teacher! He blows at me! ”

I laughed out loud.

"Two days ago, there was a little boy who scolded the child who sat in his seat because someone else was sitting in his seat after class."

"When the class started, the scolded child sued me."

"I asked the scolding kid to stand up and asked him, do you think it's right for you to scold someone else if you don't sit in your seat?

"He said, 'Yes.'"

"I ask again, do you think you're doing the right thing?"

He nodded again.

I listened with interest.

"I'll just let him sit down."

"Then I walked around the podium two or three times, and I couldn't hold back."

"What are you doing?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I told them, you are young now, many things, you have done wrong outside, no one will blame you, only blame your parents for not educating well, your words and deeds outside reflect how your parents teach you at home."

"I said to the scolding boy, tonight, go back and ask your parents, is it right for you to do this."

"And my tone is very cold, you say such a young child, am I too fierce."

I smiled.

"But these bear children, if they don't be fierce to them, they can't control it at all." Lin Meow added.

"Another time, also during recess, two boys got into a fight."

"I'll go pull them away and call them to the office."

"I asked them what was going on, and I told them to speak one by one, and when one person spoke, the other was not allowed to speak."

"Then I asked who spoke first, and one kid raised his hand and said he was going to speak first."

"I let him speak, and when he said it, the other child would always interject and retort, and I would interrupt it, emphasizing that when one person spoke, the other should not speak."

"After the first child finished speaking, I asked him if he had finished speaking, and he nodded and finished, and I began to let the second person say."

"Then things are clear."

"It's because one of the boys scolded the other boy first, and the other boy did it."

"I asked the boy who was swearing to apologize to the other boy first for his actions."

"Children, after one of them shows weakness, they will soon be reconciled."

As soon as he apologized, the other child immediately said it was okay.

"I asked the little boy who did it first to apologize for his beating, and the result was the same."

"I'll ask them again, can this be the end of this?"

"They said yes, and I let them go back."

"You're a good teacher."

"Yes, maybe, but I don't like it."

I nodded, "Well, I don't necessarily like it in general." ”

Early May

Lin Meow didn't go out during the seven-day holiday.

I sent a WeChat message to ask what she was doing, and she was watching American dramas.

On the last day of the holiday, I asked her to go to a clear bar near the school.

Lin Meow was not in a high mood after she came, so she just picked up the wine glass and touched it with me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Lin Meow sighed.

"I don't know, maybe I'm about to graduate, and I'm feeling more melancholy."

"When I was a junior, I was quite looking forward to graduation, and I felt that there were a lot of bad things in school, so I wanted to graduate quickly, and now I am really going to graduate, and I feel quite strange in my heart."

"I think the scenery in the school is also very beautiful, the flavor of summer is so good, and the atmosphere of a bunch of boys playing guitar and singing in the small square at night is very beautiful. But I'm going to get out of here soon. ”

"The only good thing is that I can live on my own and no longer depend on my family."

"Maybe my life is destined to be like this, you can't have it both ways."

Music, alcohol, is really a catalyst for emotion, in the bar, melodious music, sip after sip of cocktail, Lin Meow's sadness about graduation seems to have become stronger.

"What about you, Lin, what have you been busy with lately, and do you often go to take pictures?"

I nodded and put my glass down.

"Of course, especially now that the weather is fine."

"How's it going with your girlfriend?"

"Well, that's good." I didn't look at her and nodded.

Unfortunately, I have passed the age of youthful frivolity. It is impossible to say to Lin Meow dramatically at this time, I like you very much, if you also like me, I will break up with her immediately.

However, I really want to know if Lin Meow has anything to do with love for me.

In June, Lin Meow's birthday.

I asked Lin Meow to go to the park for a picnic.

In the evening, we watched the sun slowly set.

Lin Meow and I listened to the song with one headphone, and the music was Eason Chan's "Ten Years".

I turned my head and asked Lin Meow, "Ten years later, we will still watch the sunset together, okay?" ”

Lin Meow didn't turn his head to look at me.

There was a faint smile on the corner of her mouth, and she nodded, "Okay." ”

At the end of June, Lin Meow's graduation thesis defense was not passed, and she was anxiously preparing for the second defense.

This has reduced the sorrow brought about by graduation a lot.

Late, let's clear.

"Congratulations, the defense has finally passed, and the bachelor's gown has been put on." I toasted her.

"yes, it's not easy. Never want to come back a second time. Lin Meow also picked up the cup.

"When is the graduation ceremony?" I asked.

"The graduation ceremony took place long before the defense." Lin Meow said.

"Yes, when we went to school, the graduation ceremony started first, and then the conference was held." I say.

"yes.... I really graduated. Lin Meow took a deep breath.

Early July

Lin Meow completely moved out of the school.

We still have a few small party meetings a week.

Maybe it's because of the weakness of my heart, I didn't talk to Xiao Chu about Lin Meow.

In the evening, let's clear it.

"You've graduated, what's your plan?"

Lin Meow shook his head.

"No, from 18 years old to 24 years old, I can really do it." Lin Meow's face was expressionless.

"I saved some money from my previous job, so I decided to take a break and do whatever I wanted." Lin Meow said again.

I smiled, "It's good to be young, free and easy." ”

"I still envy you, but you praise me." Lin Meow glanced at me and said.

"What do I have to envy? I'm getting older," I said.

"I envy that your life has been stabilized, unlike me, you still need to drift." Lin Meow said.

"How to say it, stability, it's just a nice way to say, maybe you don't like this kind of life on you." I say.

"I definitely don't like it now, but ..... in the future Alas, people want to settle down. Lin Meow's tone sighed a little.

In fact, if you think about it, Lin Meow's arrival today is not all her own choice, but also some of her last resort.

In her heart, she still longs for a warm home, even if she doesn't want to, or she doesn't dare to get married.

"Lin Meow, I plan to get married this year."

Lin Meow raised her head and stared at me with wide eyes, "Really, so suddenly?" ”

I nodded, "Well, I'm not too small." ”

"When are you going to get your certificate?" Lin Meow asked.

"Just for a month or two." I say.

"Congratulations."

I looked at her and didn't speak.

Lin Meow turned his head and looked out the window, "It's late, let's leave." ”

August.

Lin Meow made a fitness card.

She went swimming every day.

In the evening, let's clear it.

"Exercising every day and drinking?" I asked.

"It's okay, both of these things make me secrete dopamine." Lin Meow shrugged,

"How have you been lately, I haven't seen you yet, let's take wedding photos."

"You're so smart, we got the certificate at the beginning of the month, on her birthday."

"It's really good, if you get married, let's spend more time with my wife." Lin Meow said.

"I didn't spend less time with her." I say.

"Don't come out to drink with me in the future, if I were your wife, I would definitely be unhappy to know that you are like this."

"You're thinking too much." I say.

Lin Meow didn't answer.

"Lin, I'm very grateful to you, you don't have to worry about me, I know I have personality disorders and I don't have any friends, but I've grown up, and I can face and bear many things by myself."

"Lin Meow, what are you talking about?"

"I'm not done yet." Lin Meow interrupted me.

"Seriously, you may not even know what you mean to me. You are very kind and warm, and for me, it is my luck to meet a friend in my life who has always been willing to hold on to me and not get separated from me. It's a pity that you're a boy, so we have to keep a distance between us, and now you're different from me, and you have your own family to take care of. ”

"But today, whether you want to hold it or not, I have to let you go, in fact, isn't life like this, the person who accompanies you at every stop is different. Your time to be with me has come. You're on your way to the next stop. Cherish your happiness. Lin Meow raised his glass to me and drank it all.

"I'll drink it myself in the future."

Lin Meow put down the cup and left.

I hurriedly sent a WeChat message to Lin Meow, "Are you going to break off your friendship with me?" ”

Ten minutes later, Lin Meow replied, "How could it be?"

"Then why did you just leave like that?"

"Lin, I know everything, I'm a girl, girls are sensitive animals, no one in this world will be good to someone for no reason, and I have also liked others."

I didn't reply.

"But now that you have a wife and responsibilities, I don't want you to break her heart, we are all girls."

I looked at my phone screen and froze for a moment.

"I see." I'm typing these four words.

Lin Meow did not reply.

After that, when I talked to Lin Meow, she rarely replied.

Later, she even blocked me from her circle of friends.