Whenever the defeat is after the storm.

The dogma in my bones will prevail.

Keep questioning yourself what kind of psychology you did to Meng Qin for these things.

I hope that my provocative actions are out of a heart that loves him, and that the starting point of those actions is ignorance and purity, not teasing, flirting, not for fun......

Even if Meng Qin doesn't love me, as long as my motives are pure enough, I won't pollute the pure land of his emotions.

To put it bluntly, I'm not sure if it was the things that I prompted me to do to Meng Qin, or the things that I was told to do.

If it was me, I would feel that I was not so shameless, maybe I liked him a little, but I was naïve and couldn't express it, if it was defeated, it would mean that I was summoned by the devil, I just wanted to seduce him, to destroy him, I was a prodigal bastard!

Something was sprouting in his head, and the black curtain seemed to tear open a bright gap.

"Manager Qi, I understand."

I caught the inspiration, "What puzzled me was not whether I really liked Meng Qin, but my resistance to my own behavior, I couldn't stand being controlled by defeat, so I blamed myself bitterly......

It's not so much that I don't want to be friends with Meng Qin anymore, it's better to say that I can't face myself out of control.

I'm a natural person who is used to living by rules, and that makes me feel safe.

Defeat is a demon who breaks the rules.

It came into my skin, like a very rebellious soul had been planted in me.

Of course, most of the time I can get the balance in place.

Even if I have to be a bad student in school, it doesn't matter, I know the bottom of my heart, because I can still study in private, and I can almost tolerate the reputation, I will tell myself that I am still a good boy, still living in the established rules, and not overstepping.

But Meng Qin will completely upset my balance, and he can touch my most fearful point.

Crazy, out of control, hurting, crossing the line......

So I pushed Meng Qin away not only to protect him, but also to protect myself.

I don't want to be a downright bad boy.

As Manager Qi said, the person you hate the most, but you have to become.

No, I don't want to be that person.

Even if I am defeated, I am Xie Wanying, who spends money like water when I go out, in my bones, I want to protect Wan Yingying before the age of thirteen, if I really have a chance to get up in the future and get a great success, I can avenge the master, I want to quickly return to my original self, get rid of all the impetuousness in life, go to live the most simple days, and pursue the simplest beauty and peace.

Even though I'm splashed with ink, I want my soul to be a blank slate.

Instead, knowing that you can't do it, you hate yourself more and more.

Somehow, I was a little at a loss, sitting in the dim and dark car, I was silently crying, "Manager Qi, I'm a little homesick, I miss my father, I miss Aunt Feng, I miss my brother, I'm afraid I'll become unrecognizable, one day, even if I go back, I can't face them, I have changed a lot, I don't know myself, I spent six thousand yuan today, but I still think six thousand yuan is not much...... In the village, my dad couldn't earn 6,000 yuan a month...... Manager Qi, I really don't like myself like this, obviously I live a very comfortable life and spend money very well, but I don't know why I live a very screwed life, I feel very uncomfortable, I am more and more afraid of being sorry Master, I don't want to live like mud......"

Why is this so?

Master didn't put pressure on me either.

But it can't be said that there is anything wrong, the tearing feeling of thinking is getting worse day by day, and the contradictions are beyond measure!

Manager Qi didn't say anything, handed me a tissue, as if quietly accompanied.

I took the tissue and wiped my eyes, lowered my head and relieved my emotions for a while, "I'm sorry Manager Qi, it's me who is hypocritical."

"No, you're just too good by nature, and you don't want to offend the slightest mistake."

Manager Qi's

The voice was very soft, as if he didn't want to disturb the quiet night, "Firefly, it is your nature that the way of heaven will make a covenant with you, these words, others should also have said to you, but anyone who changes to be this loser will live a chic and happy life than you, but God will not make an alliance with them, because losers are common, Wanying should be rare, when Wanying should be combined with the loser, which wins and which loses, is the biggest test, the stakes, I think you understand better than me, the third master, also let me convey two words to you."

"What?"

"When you choose to take the path of defeat, you are destined to go all the way backwards."

Manager Qi said with a slight expression, "If you want to rise above defeat, you must first try to accept it, being in heaven and living in hell in your heart, so that you can increase the chance of winning."

I repeat softly, in heaven, in hell in the heart?

Fragrant clouds rise from the mountains, and flowers and rain come from the sky.

"Manager Qi, I made a note of it."

"Firefly, be free and easy, no matter how complicated things are, let's do it simply."

Manager Qi looked at me like an elder, "There is red dust everywhere in the world, I believe you can, no matter what decision you make, I will support you."

I nodded, "Manager Qi, I'll adjust my mood, don't worry."

Manager Qi chuckled, "I am very relieved of you, I was worried once, afraid that you would be addicted to some beauty and unable to extricate yourself, what is commendable is that you have always been sober, go back, as long as it does not affect your mission, the rest is a trivial matter."

I didn't say anything more, said goodbye and pushed the door and got out of the car.

Pushing his bicycle, he found himself more and more confused, confused about the future, and confused about Meng Qin.

However, Manager Qi is still right in some places, I like Meng Qin is seventy points.

But just like Meng Qin said, liking is a very pure emotion, and if it is mixed with considerations, it will be boring.

As soon as Manager Qi finished analyzing it for me, I found that I was even more unworthy to talk about this.

Shake your head, stop thinking about it, and go and see.

A little spiritual light follows the sunset, and the world pays the clouds, and the world is self-sufficient.

I will spare no effort to do what I can do for Meng Qin in the future, and I must correct myself and keep my distance at the moment.

Looking up at the moon in the night sky, didn't they all say that Mr. would survive the love disaster? Love is vigorous and inseparable, why do I still wonder what love is? Is it because the person who makes my heart flutter hasn't shown up yet? Or, am I really here to learn to be a human being in this life?

But one thing I know very well is that you can't go in the wrong direction.

Take a heart to enter the world and go to the cause of the world.

Back in the west building, I simply cooked some noodles, after eating, I felt scorched, rummaged in the refrigerator for a long time, and finally found an ice cream, or Meng Qin bought it for me last time, sitting on the sofa and eating slowly, my eyes always drifted to the mobile phone on the coffee table from time to time, thinking about whether to send a text message to Meng Qin.