After two days of practice, I was about to take the stage in the evening, and I was very nervous, and my heart had the feeling of meeting Tian Yan. I have encountered a lot of tense situations since I was a child, and my heart beat faster a lot, but at this time, I can still think of Tian Yan, who has nothing to do with it, and I really should punish myself three times.

Han Dongxu, who was sitting in the center of the first row, said:

'Look at me when you're fine, just tell me alone and you won't be nervous.'

I was the third to last to play, and it was really painful to wait for more than an hour backstage, and I knew that I would be the first to go on stage. Early death and early birth, now it's good, it's late marriage and late childbearing that hurt me, I feel like I can't hold back and give birth to the baby in the background.

Next, Qiao Yiding was invited to perform on stage, and my heart beat wildly, and I rushed up top-heavy all the way. When I picked up the microphone in the middle of the stage, my ears were still occupied by the sound of the heartbeat, and nothing else could be squeezed in. The eyes were also blurry when I looked at the audience, and I didn't forget what it meant to focus. The five senses are left with the mouth, nose, throat, and these three senses can work normally, so can my three views still be correct?

My temper kicks in at this time, just think about it, I don't care what audience you are, what you want to say, what you are willing to do, I'll start my show by myself.

Hello everyone, I'm Qiao Yiding. I'm looking for a job and don't know what to do. One day I saw Xu Zhisheng and He Guangzhi talking about talk shows, which were very popular. (Speaking of this, I'm a little relaxed, thanks to the good preparations, no stuck) I thought, this is too simple, Guangzhi relied on his savings of 10,000 yuan to support the red, he - quite able to hold on. Then can I also try a talk show, although I don't have his 10,000 yuan savings, but I can support it better than him, I don't feel like eating three bowls of rice at a time - support, and when the money is not enough to spend, I can still eat one meal to last for three days, that is, I don't have to eat for three consecutive days just drink water. And I don't pick yet, I don't need any mineral water Red Bull or anything, just drink free tap water, hehe. Guangzhi, you have to be careful, not only do I have more food than you can eat, but I will also grab food from you on the talk show stage in the future, because I have been hungry for three more days. (There was a burst of laughter from the audience, I could hear the voices of the audience, and my eyes began to gradually regain their vision) Xu Zhisheng invented a violent ugly science, saying that his face was God's food. Another concept was invented, called the appearance advantage talk show vase, he is so good at making up, he is sorry for Xu Zhisheng's comma screenwriter hairstyle if he is not popular, in order to make him show his face, his hairline is (here he performs a staggering and difficult step until he approaches the entrance of the stage) retreats again and again, step by step, and finally does not retreat, because if he retreats again, he will completely withdraw from the talk show stage. (The audience laughed and I paused) and his face was not polite, as soon as he saw his hair retreat, he immediately chased after him, and kicked his nose on his face. Finally, after field measurements, the ratio of the area of Zhisheng's face to his head is 0.618 to 1. So how perfect is this face? Let's put it this way, this hairline makes his face look fat if he has more, and thinner if he has less, this face is the sinking fish and the falling goose in the talk show face. If Zhisheng used to be a talk show vase, then now it is a talk show blue-flower-porcelain, his face used to be God's food, (here I speak very quickly, and his voice is very high, showing passion) Now God is rewarding, but it is a mouthful of Chongqing hot pot, friends, and it comes with two boxes of Huazi and two bottles of table. With this face, as long as he gets on the talk show stage and goes to that station, even if he doesn't speak, he must change the king, otherwise he will change his stinky face to let you see when he is angry, that is, he doesn't want the current face (accentuated tone). He Guangzhi invented a concept called a rose with thorns, and also asked, 'Who is ugly between me and Xu Gong in the north of the city?' I suddenly found out that these two people I like so much can't be mentally deficient, so I'm so stupid and cute now. Because normal people who see a group of viewers will say: 'Hehe, (imitating the short video I am Shandong's tone) I am the ugliest Xu Gong in the audience tonight, please accept the humor of violence and ugliness.' Only a fool will fight, 'I am the ugliest He Gong in the north of Shanghai'." Hey, I'm wondering, you two are ugly, is it necessary to be so proud? It's all ugly and superior. The two of them rushed to grab it like this, until one of them grabbed the advertising endorsement fee first, and I knew that they were not ugly at all, but they were grabbing red envelopes. My ICU, they did the illegal money robbery so legally, this is obviously a crime that only high-IQ deserves, and it turned out to be a clever clown who was myself. Hehe, it's all a joke, don't be angry, two teachers. It's natural to be ugly, and you can't just passively fall in love with this face. So instead of being called ugly by others, it is better to take the initiative to ridicule yourself, at least it can be regarded as a surrender, right? Although ugliness does not constitute a crime, it is very likely that you are a crime of endangering public safety when you go on stage to scare the audience with violence and ugliness, force them to laugh, and give away thorny roses. According to legend, the police have already talked to you, and the reason for this legend is that people have found that you two wear masks as soon as you go out, and you don't dare to show your face in public places, and they have heard that as long as you take off your mask and show your face in a public place, you will be forcibly quarantined and examined. Audience friends, tell me, do you like Xu Zhisheng, He Guangzhi's appearance or mine? Well, since you like to be ugly, I'm going to single you out. (At this time, I was completely relaxed, because I finally took the time to see Han Dongxu sitting in the middle, if time permitted, I even wanted to say that I was relaxed with his Nunu mouth) May I ask why you use beauty and filters when taking selfies? Don't tell me that the use of beauty cameras and filters is just to cover up your real looks, so that you can avoid the strange eyes of some weird uncles when you go out. Whenever I see my daughter-in-law enjoying beautiful photos, I think it's funny because she always asks me if I'm good-looking. "Of course you look good, your wife is more beautiful (learn Cantonese)" I am telling the truth, because that face looks about 3-4 pounds thinner than it actually is, such a big lump of meat, but the eyes have become twice as big, so can the photo not look good. My daughter-in-law asked again, "Could it be that the filter is turned on too much, and it is a little different from me?" "I thought to myself, this is not like it at all, it is not like it at all. But I said, "You are born beautiful, you can't help it, you can't open your beauty, and the filter can't stop your beauty, real wife." My daughter-in-law nodded in satisfaction, and took away the hand she had placed around my neck ready to lock her throat at any moment, and I finally passed safely. But friends, I promise, no one can identify the person in the photo as my daughter-in-law except my family, not even the police, hehe. A hundred times the lie turned into the truth, and one day my daughter-in-law said, "I'm going to buy a few beautiful clothes and a few pairs of shoes." I was overjoyed, "Daughter-in-law, you're going on a trip, how many months are you going to go?" I'm reluctant, so I'll take you to the station now, right? ”。 As a result, she proudly announced to me that she was buying these to participate in the audition. I asked what to choose? "With my sister's appearance, of course she is a sister who rides the wind and waves." My ICU, is retribution coming so quickly? It's all because my acting skills are so superb, and I act as if I were telling the truth. I said to her, "Wife, I also want to participate in the audition", "What do you want to choose?" "I want to participate - actors, please take your seat". Friends, you use beauty cameras and filters to instantly become immortals, but in order to compete with you, we are also forced to fake our appearances without makeup. You have made the trend of counterfeiting more and more intense, and even made the fake true, otherwise I would never have dreamed of marrying a sister who rode the wind and waves. If you offend Mr. Xu Zhisheng today, Mr. He Guangzhi, please be angry and scold me hard, it's best to scold me on the hot search. Because I'm just just rubbing the heat. Just kidding, thank you.