There may have been no name in Bianjing City for a long time, everyone should only know the fourth miss of the Su family, and don't remember the second miss of the Su family, but if you only count from the girl's generation, I am the eldest daughter of the Su family.

My biological mother is my father's original partner, my father is a high-ranking official, and he was born in a century-old scholarly family, and even my stepmother is from the founding family of the world-famous Yingtian Academy, the Cui family.

Later, when the new emperor ascended the throne, he personally pointed out a marriage to Xu Yuanche, the second son of the Ruiguo Mansion.

Xu Changnian, the Duke of Ruiguo, is the younger brother of the queen, and he himself is also the emperor's old ministry when he was king in Yanzhou, and he is also a famous local family in Yanzhou.

At that time, the prince under the queen's knee was made the crown prince, and the Ruiguo Mansion was in full swing, which was undoubtedly an enviable marriage.

Now that I think about it, I must have been very beautiful during that time.

The eldest daughter of the governor of the Inspectorate, the second daughter-in-law of the Ruiguo Mansion, and I myself am also a top-notch talent and beauty lady in Bianjing, everything seems to be perfect in the eyes of outsiders.

But there is a saying that you don't know happiness when you are in the midst of blessings.

Of course, I can't talk about how much I regret my life now, but when I think of the past, this sentence still comes to my heart.

At that time, I was close friends with Qin Wan, the lady of the Qin family in the Marquis of Jingchang, and my fiancé Xu Yuanche and her were in love.

What's even more unsettling is that Qin Wan also got married by the Holy Decree, and before me, she had already married one step ahead of me, and her husband's name was Wu Xinyan, who was the son-in-law of the commander of Bianjingwei.

The Wu family also has the merit of being a dragon, and it can be regarded as an upstart in the DPRK.

Logically, this marriage is not bad.

But Qin Wan has long been in love with my fiancé Xu Yuanche, so no matter how good the marriage is, it will be a mandarin duck.

Of course, some people may ask, since they are happy with each other, why don't they say it and get married early to avoid trouble later?

This makes me say, it should be fate has not yet arrived.

At that time, the new emperor ascended the throne, the Marquis of Jingchang was the old minister, and the Ruiguo Mansion was the upstart, and the political opinions were disagreeable, and they were divided into courts, even if the two of them had the intention in their hearts, they didn't dare to say that they knew about it with the elders in the family, so they missed it once.

Why do I say that I missed it, because later, under my planning, they still got their wish and came together again.

But that's all for later, before I met him, in fact, the idea of quitting the marriage of the Holy Decree in my heart was not very strong.

Although I have no intention of marrying the person of my best friend's choice, the holy decree of marriage cannot help me not bow my head.

But everything pushed me down a road of no return.

First of all, Qin Wan, her husband didn't treat her well, spoiled his concubine and killed his wife, beat and abused, and caused her to have a miscarriage and hurt herself, I can't bear to see her so difficult.

Then there is King Jin, my husband.

There is a saying that you don't know what to do, and you go deep.

I guess that's what I was back then.

Even though many years have passed, I still clearly remember his voice and smile, he treated me very gently, the scenery was beautiful, and he was as warm as jade.

I still don't regret marrying him.

But I did pay a big price to marry him, and this price is one of the things I regret.

My father's disappointed eyes, my eldest brother's incomprehension and heartache, and my obstinacy.

Years later, I dreamed back a few times about those days, waking up in the middle of the night with tears on my face.

But there is no regret medicine in the world, and I am afraid that there will always be a gap between me and my father who loves me the most.

But I think my father still misses me, otherwise when I was sent to Jiangnan, he wouldn't have sent two maids from the Su family to take care of me.

Of course, apart from these two maids, I didn't get a single bit.

Later, I heard the news of the Su family from other places.

The fourth miss of the Su family and General Xiao Shen got married, Su Yushi was named the grandson of Taifu, the fourth miss of the Su family was named the county lord, General Xiao Shen was named the Marquis of Zhongyong, Miss Su Si gave birth to Lin'er, and was canonized as the prince of the world at the full moon, etc.

Yes, the major events of the Su family seem to be related to my half-sister.

I used to dislike her, even disgusted, but now, I can't help but admit that I envy her.

In the past, I thought that there should only be me and my brother and my father and mother in this house, but unfortunately my mother is long gone, I haven't even seen her, in my childhood memory, my aunt Xiao Lu is my mother.

I thought that I didn't have a mother, and my aunt would be good to be by my side with my brother and father instead of her, but later, my father married back to Cui's with a sedan chair.

I was so angry when I watched her live in the main courtyard and join hands with her father and be intimate.

Why, why should outsiders come into our homes?

My father asked me to call her mother, but I had my own mother, and I didn't want to.

Cui Shi is gentle and virtuous, she said that I don't want to call it.

At that time, I thought she was pretty good.

But then my aunt came, she peeled off the cocoon for me, analyzed it, and said that Cui's was hypocritical, and it was all hypocrisy to treat me well, not to mention that in the future, Cui's had his own children, and my brother and I would be tortured to death.

I was terrified, and my heart became more and more wary of her.

But what I was afraid of still happened, Cui's got pregnant, and she gave birth to a daughter, my fourth sister, Su Junning.

That day I remember my father was very happy, he said, Jun is a beautiful jade, Ning is smooth and comfortable, he hopes that his little daughter will always be regarded as a treasure and beautiful jade, and everything will be good in this life.

On that day, I knew for the first time what jealousy was like.

My name was given by my mother, who died young, and she hoped that my father would always remember her friendship and that the two of them had a heart-to-heart relationship.

But my mother died, and now the hostess of the Su family is Cui's, and my father's like-minded person has long been changed, and my father's palm pearl should also be changed.

Later, my four younger sisters grew up, she was lively and intelligent, she could talk coquettishly, she was more pleasing to her family than me, and she was close to me and showed me favor.

But I can't accept her from the bottom of my heart, I think it's her arrival, taking away my father's attention and love for me, although the third brother is a boy, but he is a concubine, not to be compared with us, nothing, but the fourth sister is a concubine, she is the same as me.

Even, I think she is superior to me, because her mother is alive and harmonious with her father.

However, even though I hate Cui's and my fourth sister, the education I received since I was a child has always made me restrain my emotions and remember that one is prosperous and one is lost, so my mother and daughter and I can only say that the well water does not interfere with the river water, and we are indifferent and alienated.

Fortunately, I did not do anything bad to them, because I later learned that most of my hostility towards them came from my aunt's indoctrination.

This should be one of the things I regret, trusting my aunt so much that she ruined her own peace.