As I stood in the courtyard and looked at the direction of the setting sun, I saw a large cloud, and the red on its body had faded to the corner of the cloud, leaving only endless white, inexplicably with some layers. Just as the sky is clear and clear, its whiteness is also clean. So I couldn't help but wonder what was hidden in the half of the sky behind it.

If I could make a wish, I would like it to be a Kanda. All you need is a seed, plant it, make a wish on it, and you can get anything you want.

I want to plant the seeds of delicious food, there are hamburger fried chicken, umami seafood, stir-fried lobster, sauerkraut fish, you can plant anything you want. I also want to plant the seeds of my partners, not for more, but for good. Because I always grew up alone, alone. If I can, I also want to plant the seeds of books, I love to read, and the stories in books are particularly attractive to me, and I also yearn for them. But if you plant partners, how do you plant books?

White clouds, there is probably a world behind you, in that world is the little insects in charge, they sometimes come to the human world to play, and when they are tired, go back to sleep, I really want to become smaller, become a little butterfly or a little seven-star ladybug, and then go to that world to see the human world in their eyes, because no matter what, I still prefer the world with human existence, probably a little better!

Huge clouds, will there be an old fairy behind you? Is he in charge of the human world, arranging tasks for us at the next point in time, or is he also in charge of our marriage?

Life is ordinary, tomorrow depends on imagination, great clouds, what is behind you?

The evening breeze was blowing gently, whether the clouds were moving, or the earth was turning, and in the direction of the setting sun, a cloud moved slowly, and I saw the sun setting down.

In the evening, I entered the first day of school after the end of the university quarantine. I walked with an old friend I hadn't seen in three years, on a dark campus, even though the sun was shining during the day and the wind at night was not hot and dry, just a little cool, just enough to digest the delicious food shared tonight. Although we hadn't seen each other for three years, we had a great conversation, no unanswerable topics, no awkward jokes, and no stiff atmosphere. When the wind blows, her hair swaying slightly, she talks about her rich and interesting past, and I listen to it from the sidelines, and sometimes reply, setting off two sentences. We walked a long way around the dormitory, from the playground to the running track to the north, and some of the topics even gave me the courage to ask someone from the past a boring question.

Standing in the dim sunlight of the courtyard, looking into the distance of the sunset, a big cloud, behind which reflects my lost youth.

There are no bright words to describe youth, but it really describes him, but there is a name "Zhang Qiuchi".

……

Where to recall my dull and bleak youth, which is completely dead, I always feel that I should give it an account, just as I always give an account in my ledger today. Detailed, verbose, that's how I always describe my good-looking notebooks. During the winter and summer vacations, when I stayed at home, I always turned out my treasured ledgers, casually turned a page and calmly began to look at my past life, and my mind recalled the events of that day with the words, and I didn't know whether I was happy because of the content or because I remembered it.

I can't remember exactly what year I went back to my hometown, and I didn't bother to count it slowly, after all, it wasn't the point. I almost forgot the days of elementary school, I vaguely remember a physical education class, because some small misunderstanding caused a boy in the same class to kick me, and afterwards I went to ask the reason, so now I can use "small misunderstanding" to describe it, and I also remember that the female physical education teacher in the sixth grade always criticized us for not going down the stairs quietly, so she asked us to come down the stairs over and over again. I always feel embarrassed to pass by the back door of a class two or three times during the short time I first start the class, and of course this is also because I am the first to walk alone, and I am the leader. I also ate lollipops in her class, and it was indispensable to be criticized by name. At that time, it was popular to eat lollipops in our class, from single to double, and I always thought that I was the first to take the lead, but it was true that I was dizzy and kept up with others when I ate it in class. At that time, I was not just a sports commissioner. There are always a lot of things in our class that I take the lead, but I can't remember it, I just remember that "there are always a lot of things in our class that I took the lead", but I started reading romance novels at a young age and it has nothing to do with me, but I admit that the content is well written, and I also borrowed a lot of books from others. Those books are very thick, and I think that time is the most sufficient, and it is the most suitable for reading, because I didn't even have time to read the course standard reading later, until I started to read books, no matter how much I liked it, I would start to feel sleepy. Later, the girls in the class began to imitate and write romance novels, and the content of the three girls, including me, was passed among the girls in the class. This is only what girls love to watch, what are the boys watching the "Charles IX" series written by Leo, the "Douluo Continent" written by the Tang family, and the "Tomb Robbery Notes" by the third uncle of the Southern School...... For romance novels between girls, they have heard but not seen. But at that time, love could be understood by reading a few books, and even created it out of thin air! As a result, there was the phenomenon of them throwing away my "works", thinking about the content was really unbearable, and I couldn't get it back no matter how much I chased it, they "threatened" me to show it to our male Chinese teacher, and I was even more panicked! Later, when I saw the original book again during the holidays, I threw it in the trash without saying a word, and I can't remember whether it was torn up or not, and I didn't continue to write the content because of that phenomenon.

Due to some special reasons, I had to go back to my hometown for junior high school. Life here is not at all the same as in the provinces, and certainly not only because of the difference between elementary and junior high schools. Mandarin must be spoken everywhere on campus in primary school, and the school has a special rule of "speaking Mandarin", but junior high school also has such a rule, but from the beginning to the end of class, students have changed from speaking Mandarin to no Mandarin. When I first came back, it was because I didn't understand the dialect that I made myself look like a dumbfounder, no, to be precise, I was a dumbfounded, and the teacher also understood my basic situation, so he didn't care if I was standing or sitting when he asked questions. First of all, I would like to emphasize that my tablemate was a girl at the time, and I asked her to translate all the questions from the head teacher, and also told her my basic situation, but when the head teacher asked, she still pulled me to stand and sit, which is also an important reason why I became stunned. I can't forget what happened after that.

It was the first day of class and when I came home from school, my eldest sister came here and asked me how the class was, who was the homeroom teacher, and if the math teacher was whoever was there...... I also learned later that they seem to have a network of teachers that belongs to them, even though not in a school, or even in a category that is not taught, it may be elementary school, or junior high school, maybe high school. If the rough points are divided, I really belong to that place, and the detailed points can't belong, because there are still differences in terms of language. As a result, I was a little sluggish in my verbal conversation. It is precisely because of this that I was unable to answer my eldest sister's question in time, and she said, "Why did you go to class for a day and don't know anything!" But for a second, she didn't care about it, and I didn't need to know or remember who my teacher was, and I wasn't much hit. Even though I'm a fragile person.

I kept the seriousness I had with my teachers when I was in elementary school, but it didn't last long.

My math has changed since I was in fifth grade. I pay more attention to it because of my pride. Once, my math teacher, who taught me in the third and fourth grades, recorded an ideal score for the whole class on the class list, and I saw that she expected a score of 90 for some people, and 80 or 85 for me. Of course, the pride I am describing now is not derogatory, I originally wanted to use "tsundere" to describe it, but compared to "pride", it is rich in derogatory meanings that are too deep. Those 90 classmates played well with me, and I was the class president for a few years in the same class with them, which is probably a little reason, mainly because of my "pride", and maybe a little bit of comparison, so I secretly decided to make that expectation become 90. I always considered myself lucky because although I was a little sad at the time, my seriousness in math didn't change much, but at the end of the fifth grade, I surprisingly got a perfect score in math. The math teacher called my dad to tell me, and the call also included a home visit. Speaking of which, I have to mention this math teacher of mine. He only started teaching us in the fifth grade and has been leading us ever since he was our homeroom teacher. The clearest purpose of mentioning him is to say that he is good to me, just as I used to show off to others that my QQ number was created for me by using the teacher's office computer at school. At that time, it was at a time when teachers taught us to use less Internet, and QQ was the emerging way of online communication at that time. As for why he helped me create an account, I only vaguely remember what he gave me, and then asked me if I had QQ, and I said no, and I don't remember if I did anything with it after I created it. In my family, my father's latest phone could pull a touch pen from the side of the phone, but my mother didn't, and there was a flip phone that my father used for him to call my brother and me to make sure we were staying at home according to the house rules. As for me always showing off that my QQ is a qualified teacher to help me create, my account is so different. Once in his class, he asked a math problem, and I don't know if he had taught it. I remember that we had to know the answer, but when I asked a few students with good grades, they just stood silent, and when I was asked, I didn't even dare to stand up, but my head still shook, but he didn't emphasize "stand up", and I was sitting on pins and needles. Later, I only remember that at the end of the sixth grade, I scored 99 points in math, and I was criticized by the new math teacher and homeroom teacher for this score. This kind of criticism is like when I scored 99.5 points in the Chinese test in the first grade, and the 0.5 was deducted on the misspelling of my name. When I returned to my hometown to go to junior high school, the math teacher said that whoever took the highest test in the monthly exam would be the one who took the highest exam. As a result, I not only got the highest grade, but also got a perfect score, and I was the only one who represented my math class, and my junior high school life began from there.

I didn't want to say anything more, because during the class I remembered my memories of the past, which were more or less personal and private, and besides, we still have a deep impression of each other, and they can tell anything they want. If it bothers them, it's going to be hard for me to end up, or it's hard for me to be a human again.

In the evening, I was supposed to spend time in my dorm room watching anime, and I received a letter from a friend who said that she was a little uncomfortable, and that I suggested going out for a walk because of the dumplings for dinner. Just as we wandered outside together at the beginning of the school year, we walked around the campus arm in arm. It was raining tonight, and there weren't as many people on campus as there were last time. She held an umbrella and talked about recent events, and after a long time, she recalled the past, and I still acted as a listener most of the time.

I suddenly felt amazing because her first topic gave me the inspiration to write. It was as if I had returned to that day, and because of the conversation with her, I had thoughts for the rest of this chapter.

I'm the hero of the story or not, I just want to write down my memories of the past, and when I am old, I can sit in the armchair and slowly reminisce, and then feel what youth is like. I don't want to hurt them because of this, and I don't insult them, I just want to write down some things with a little subjective meaning in ordinary words.

It's kind of sad to think about junior high school, because some of the better qualities I learned in elementary school broke down. I don't blame anyone who comes into contact with me, just sad that I'm easily shaken. People sometimes say it's okay to go with the flow, but what happened to me doesn't seem to be what people say. I met my junior high school classmates and participated in their "activities" as I pleased, and I was comfortable thinking that there was nothing wrong with them. It's just that after junior high school ended, I regretted some of what I had done in those three years. I'm sorry that my sense of responsibility is so much smaller than others, maybe I'm a little more honest than an honest person.

I have been a homeroom teacher for three years, and I still think he is a very good teacher, even though I have been treated harshly by him and disciplined a little. I've always thought he was particularly magical, like that one. I can't remember what the exam was.,There was a male classmate in the class who used his mobile phone to create a group chat.,The purpose is to spread the answers in the group during the exam.,At the same time, the only person who entered the group chat was a good student in the range I knew.,Of course, I didn't know about it until after the incident.。 Later, after the exam, this matter was discovered, the group owner was arrested at the exam site, and the group chat was disbanded before it had time, but all the personnel had withdrawn. The class teacher talked about this incident in the class and said that he hoped that the people involved in this matter would take the initiative to stand up. I don't know if they were for the sake of face or self-esteem or whatever, but no one came to their senses and stood up abruptly. The head teacher waited for a while, and the opportunity was given to them, but still nothing happened. The head teacher didn't say anything about this, and of course didn't show any more anger, just sighed and said, "Okay, do you think I won't check?" Then he said something that showed that he was very powerful, and he just had to look at this kind of thing and look it up. It wasn't until he took out his phone, opened the software that created the group chat, and asked a question that I realized that he really didn't seem to understand, and some people even walked directly to the podium and taught him how to check the group members, of course, at that time, there was only one group leader left in the list. Under normal circumstances, if a member leaves the group, it can no longer be queried, but the head teacher swore in front of him, and the final situation is that the person who quits the group takes advantage of the chaos to fiddle with his mobile phone. The school clearly asked not to bring mobile phones, but you can imagine how they were stealing chickens and dogs at that time, and it was then that I learned who one of the outstanding students involved was. Whether it's the head teacher or the people involved, it's a race against time, oh no, the head teacher is slow and leisurely. In the end, the head teacher didn't learn how to construct a group, and he said, okay, let's sit back. The class went from a "heated discussion" at the beginning to a serious class meeting. The teacher began to say some truths, I can't remember, but based on what I knew about him, he should have quoted some classic stories or classic quotes in his speech at that time. As I spoke, the word "villain" piqued my interest, and the next words surprised me even more. He knew exactly one of the "perpetrators" and mentioned his name in the course of his speech, as well as severely criticized him in the course of his speech. Thinking about it now, his critical words at the time may have been a little unacceptable, such as accusing the student of being a "villain" in front of the class. This is too exciting for a junior high school student whose three views are not yet sound. I couldn't understand what the student was thinking, I just admired the class teacher. It turned out that the teacher already knew who was involved. Later, the student's life was not affected, at least that's how I felt it in my contact with him. I don't think most teachers would suspect that a good student would be involved in cheating on exams and blame them in public. The head teacher said that he had tested him with words before this, but that he had no intention of repenting, so that he was now severely criticized. The second half of the sentence is what I think, that kind of criticism is no longer like a teacher criticizing and educating a student who has made mistakes, but more like criticizing him, a merciless condemnation of his personality and the fact that he has grown up with such a personality, and he is very disapproving of what he has done, and besides, he is a minor student who is receiving education, and a student should not be like this. Until now, I can't understand why people with such good grades should make their conduct so low-end.

I was full of admiration for the head teacher's affection because there was another time when he suddenly walked around the class, I thought he was checking the hygiene, because he always did it. Who knew he was actually looking for a pair of red sneakers, because something happened and this student wearing red sneakers was involved. Of course, I don't remember what happened, it was just what the head teacher said later.

Finally, I would like to say that our class meetings are always very good, at least I think so, and probably just think that the content of his speech is very good, quoting scriptures. Maybe as long as he is speaking, the content will be good. Westminster Abbey in England is what I know from him. Later, we called his speech "storytelling", and his class would sometimes become half class and half story, until the bell rang for the end of the class, and he would suddenly pull us back to the class from the story. His funny gesture of shaking his head and looking at the blackboard because of the bell after class was funny.

I regret that I spoke ill of him behind my back in order to fit in with the class, even though there was no word for insults. In the words I spoke to my classmates behind my back, in addition to affectionately calling him by name, I still feel remorseful, and this feeling is born after I enter high school. I've never done anything like this, and I haven't even called teachers by their full names when I'm talking about them behind my back, and I'm just going to call them "Teacher" plus their last name, unless it's clear which teacher they are.

There were so many things about this teacher that I couldn't recall in detail, so I had to give up, and when I was about to finish, I suddenly remembered that even the blackboard newspaper he would do it himself.

I'm sorry to say that, but there was another teacher who had an influence on me because it was on the bad side.

The third year of junior high school is about to take the high school entrance examination, about a month ago, my grades are okay, I have a tired of studying, this emotion is not too deep, and it is also a salvation for me to walk on the right path.

I have always had a good attitude towards learning, but on that day I had doubts about the purpose of learning. I have always believed that learning is based on interest, so even though my good grades are strictly monitored by teachers, I have not made any resistance. It's a pity that everything was broken, when he said, "It's almost time to take the high school entrance examination, you have to work hard". This goes against my perception of studying, as if I have studied for so many years, how hard I work, and in the end I just want to get into a good high school. I think it's sad. To put it bluntly, I believe that learning is a kind of comparison, and it is no longer a greeting in elementary school to improve the effect of one's own learning in comparison with others, and even when communicating with others. Think of the feeling of being sublimated by learning, as if the borderline of nature, the exuberance, and the abundance of the absence of substance, everything is me. I know it's hard to understand, and it's hard for me to describe it. It's a pity that it was only because of one of his recurring words that I ended up completely disgusted with learning, especially in his class, which I was best at. It was the first time I slept in his class, and no matter how much I looked at the content of the class after class, I couldn't understand it in the end, but it was clear that it was just a concept lesson.

This situation continued until the end of the high school entrance examination, and the high school I was admitted to ranked third in the city, which is okay. When I went to check in, I got a few assignments, but unfortunately I didn't finish them seriously, even though I had to do the relevant assessment of the content of this homework at the beginning of the semester.

It's hard to recall anything in junior high school. Because I'm transferred from out of town, everything is new, new concepts. Even the way I get along with my teachers is completely different. All I remember about communicating with students is that I went from being an introverted girl to an escape from an insane asylum. That's what I'm looking forward to, and I don't want to be an introvert all the time.

After the high school entrance examination, several girls in the class made an appointment to find a part-time job, and finally found a pyramid scheme job, going to climb the stairs in those tall and noble buildings that were being renovated. It's a pity that we are like going to play, and no one can do it well, so it's no wonder that we're just teenagers who have just graduated from junior high school.

After I successfully entered high school, most of my memories are related to boredom with school, and I have no regrets about ending my life for three years like this.