I doubt I'm still alive......

After returning from the funeral, I lay in bed all day in silence, except for the occasional rise to get up to drink water, eat something, and go to the toilet, there was no other sign that I was still alive...... It was as if I was in an illusion, unable to perceive the passage of time or feel the reality of the outside world. Before I knew it, I had cut off all ties with everything, become cold and fearless, turning a deaf ear to my parents' scolding, turning a blind eye to piles of homework, and even my mobile phone, which I cherished before, was now thrown aside. I don't care who looks for me anyway......

However, Heaven loves to see people laugh at them, especially those who talk too much...... A week before school started, my mother's phone received another call from me. The caller was Xingyuan's mother, and she asked me to take the time to go to her house. Naturally, I couldn't have turned down her invitation, and at the same time, I was a little curious about why she was looking for me. So, I hurriedly agreed to leave for her house immediately.

Xingyuan's mother looks much haggard than before, but it still doesn't detract from her elegance and beauty. Her kindness and gentleness reminded me of Xingyuan, who had the same temperament as her, so when she brought me hot tea and cake, I was sad and burst into tears.

"Wipe your tears......" Seeing me so sad, she couldn't help but be moved, and her eyes suddenly turned red.

I took the tissue she handed me and managed to squeeze out a smile. "Thank you, Auntie......"

"It seems that you and Yuanyuan have a very deep relationship...... "Xingyuan's mother sighed lightly.

"Xingyuan has always been very good to me...... "I don't dare to boast in front of her that I am Xingyuan's best friend, because I can't be sure if this is Xingyuan's true thoughts, especially since so many unpleasant things have happened one after another recently, and I have no bottom in my heart......

"You're such a good boy...... No wonder she is willing to ......" Xingyuan's mother stroked my head, a sad smile appeared on the corner of her mouth.

"What?" I looked at her in confusion.

At this time, Xingyuan's father walked out of the room with his little daughter in his arms.

"Uncle, so ......," I quickly stood up and greeted him.

"You may be seated, you're welcome." He bowed slightly to me, and then sat down next to Xingyuan's mother.

"I was about to give it to her...... Do you want to take another look? Xingyuan's mother looked at the father and daughter with warm eyes, and asked softly.

"Then let's take a look again......"

"Wait a minute." After speaking, Xingyuan's mother walked into Xingyuan's room quickly, and when she came out, she had an extra black violin bag in her hand.

Don't...... Are they going to give me this bag? I looked at them in disbelief, flattered. It's hard not to think of them in this way. I didn't expect to get a relic of Xingyuan, and I was so excited that tears rained down. As a good friend of Xingyuan, of course I know the value and significance of a violin bag - it has accompanied Xingyuan through a lot of time, carrying her bits and pieces of memories, and its weight can be imagined...... I don't have a violin, but I can use it for other things, man, there are always a few things to treasure, even me. Later, when they carefully unwrapped the violin bag, I was simply stunned. There's a violin in my bag! No way...... There's no way they're going to give me something so valuable...... I don't deserve ...... Thinking of this, I cried sadly. Probably affected by my emotions, Xingyuan's sister also cried. As a result, Xingyuan's parents had to put the violin aside for the time being, giving priority to appeasing their little daughter.

"Don't cry, be stronger......" I realized that Xingyuan's mother's words were not only saying to her little daughter, but also to me.

"I'm sorry...... It's all my fault......" I tried to hold back my crying and whimpered.

"Silly boy, you didn't do anything wrong." She held my hand gently, her gaze very soft.

Through her palm, I could feel her soothing warmth. Gradually, my excited heart finally quieted down.

"Wipe your hands dry, the piano can't touch the water."

After carefully wiping herself and her little daughter's hands, she picked up the violin again, gently plucking the strings with her fingertips as she looked at it. Hearing the slight rattle of the strings, Xingyuan's sister burst into tears and laughed, hurriedly struggling out of her father's arms, reaching out to touch the body.

"Don't look at this piano for some years, but it's well maintained and the tone is not bad......"

"Yes...... "Xingyuan's father smiled at his wife and agreed.

"Do you know how to play the violin?"

"I've only learned a little bit of the basics......" I bowed my head in shame. I suddenly realized that I was not only not qualified to get this piano, but also not qualified to be Xingyuan's friend......

"That's just right!" Seeing that I was at a loss, Xingyuan's mother explained: "This is an exercise piano, suitable for beginners. If you've been learning the violin for a few years, we're sorry to give it to you. ”

"I'm a beginner!" The moment I spoke, I immediately regretted my faux pas. "But...... It's too precious...... I can't ask for ......" anyone could see the reluctance on their faces. In fact, they should keep it as a memento, and maybe one day, their little daughter will be able to use it......

"Of course you can take it, because this is the ...... Xingyuan left for you" After Xingyuan's mother put the piano back in her bag, she solemnly handed the bag into my hand.

"Xingyuan? How could it be ......" I looked at Xingyuan's parents in surprise, and my mind was in a mess. Xingyuan's death was obviously an accident, how could she have thought of leaving Qin to me in advance?

"To be precise, she put a note with your name on it on it, so we assume she was going to give it to you. Since this is her last wish, we naturally have to follow it. Xingyuan's father immediately answered my question.

Originally...... I remembered that Xingyuan once said that she would teach me to play the violin, and perhaps it was because of this that she marked my name on the piano. Whether she really wanted to give it to me, or whether she just lent it to me, is out of the question. The only thing that is certain is that she did not tear the note off her bag until the day she left. Does that mean that she has always been willing to see me as her friend, and she hasn't changed? Thinking of this, I hugged my violin bag and couldn't cry......

When I got home, I cried all night. The violin bag in my arms forced me to face up to the reality I'd been avoiding all along: Xingyuan was gone, and I would never see her again......

The next day, my father and mother decided to take me to the hospital. And I told them by action that this is a big deal. I know that Xingyuan never wants to see me continue to be decadent, isn't it because she taught me to play the violin because she hopes that I can experience more joy in life? I can't live up to her wishes! I want to live well! Live better than ever!

And just like that, stagnant time began to flow. I sat at the dining table and gulped down, my soul nourished as my empty stomach was filled. My parents were obviously surprised by the sudden and dramatic change in me, but they didn't ask much. I know that behind their trembling is the fear that the slightest mistake will touch my sensitive nerves and cause me to fall back into a state of madness. Taking advantage of this opportunity, I asked them to learn the violin. In normal times, they could not wait to reprimand me with all kinds of clichés for not doing my job, but today they did not reject me, at least not in words......

"Let's talk about it when you get admitted to university......"

"You didn't coax me, did you?" I glanced at them.

"Of course not! When do we stop talking? ”

Often! I replied silently. "Okay, that's it."

"Don't negotiate with us about conditions, hurry up and study, you've wasted enough time!" As I turned to go back to my room, my father behind me finally couldn't help but scold.