Leaning on the sofa and rubbing his stomach, Zhang Muzi sighed and began to answer his friend's question, "Hey, isn't it just that the year is not going well."

Didn't I go back to my grandfather's house this spring break, there is nothing fun in the town, I can only surf the Internet all day long, and I accidentally logged in to a shopping mall store two days ago, and there are 'bioassistant eggs' that sell Samsung..."

"I'm X, are you an idiot, when you live in the 'Silver Algae Star' or the 'Center Star', you can buy 'Bioassistant Eggs' on the Internet. Hearing this, Lu Wenhao's anger surged up again, and he couldn't help but interrupt.

In October 2016, under the guidance of the space exploration vehicle "Wanderer" launched by the first power of earth science and technology, the spacecraft under the command of "Shuangjin", the largest interstellar development company in the Western Galactic Alliance, successfully arrived on Earth, bringing the greetings of alien creatures to the earthlings for the first time.

"We are certainly not alone in the universe. When the words of Stephen William Hawking, the greatest living astrophysicist, finally came true, another prediction intensified, whether the aliens who had the advantage of civilization would launch a war of conquest against the earthlings in the same way that the Europa whites, armed with muskets, slaughtered the Indians using stone tools in the eighteenth century.

Fortunately, the next incident proved that when civilization evolves to a certain height, it is not only the level of science and technology that is developed, but also the corresponding moral level is inevitably not comparable to that of barbarians.

The Western Galactic Alliance not only did not wage war against the earth, but instead took the earth into its arms with various temptations and became a member of the alliance, of course, in the eyes of conspiracy theorists, it is actually not much different from annexation.

But in any case, in reality, except that many races on the earth have suddenly become ridiculously low in the civilization sequence of intelligent beings, and the living planet has been reduced to a 'poor country' that provides industrial raw materials, Yiqiē is not much different from before.

It's just that the 'Center', the capital star of the Western Galactic Alliance, and the 'Silver Algae Star', the capital star of the Northeast Region of the Western Galactic Alliance, have replaced New York and Beiping, and have become a highly civilized paradise in the eyes of the earthlings.

Buying 'bio-assistant eggs' online in Tiangong Town is not much different from buying a space shuttle in the primeval jungle of black Africa, the most backward on earth, in the minds of normal people, so Zhang Muzi said with a weak heart: "Didn't I want to try my luck, I ordered the goods at that time, and the goods were delivered today, and I planned to hatch the biological assistant..."

After telling his story from beginning to end, he finally said: "That's the matter, I don't know how to explain it to my father and mother now."

If they know that I've maxed out my credit card again, I've been fooled with random purchases, and I'm going to be like this, it's really over, Tuba, what do you think I'm going to do?"

"What should I do, dip the sauce and mix, I'm a dead banana, you are so 'blind', you deserve to be beaten to death by your parents."

I don't have the money to lend you this time, I now work two jobs a day, I can't take care of my studies, and I have to fail eighty percent of the semester..."Lu Wenhao snorted angrily, but when he saw his friend's pleading eyes, his voice gradually became lower, and finally sighed, and his tone changed: "Hey, I'm really afraid of you."

In fact, if you hide for a few days, you will say that you are going to college soon, and you will be fooled by signing up for a weight loss class during spring break.

I'm almost nineteen years old, I haven't had a girlfriend yet, and in order to find a girlfriend to lose weight after college, I believe your parents won't be okay. ”

"That's right, tuba, you're such a genius," Zhang Muzi's eyes lit up, and he said with his hands dancing: "That's it, go, go get a hair dryer, I'll dry my phone and call home, I just don't know if the phone can still work." ”

"If you can't use it, just use my mobile phone, and it's important to report your safety first. Lu Wenhao went to the bedroom to find his girlfriend's hair dryer and a stack of 500 yuan bills placed under the mattress, and sent them to his dead friend together, "According to my words, you have to hide outside for at least a week, even with food and housing, 10,000 yuan is almost enough." ”

"Enough, enough, I still have four or five thousand on me," Zhang Muzi put away the money and said embarrassedly, "Thank you, I'll pay you back next month, and invite you to have a big meal with your horse." Turn on the hair dryer and start blowing your phone.

"Then I'll kill you next month. Seeing that his friend was busy, Lu Wenhao turned on the TV on the side, and said without a word: "What kind of ghost did you say you encountered, it can still make people lose weight." ”

"I think eighty percent of them are suffering from anorexia and starvation, is it the so-called 'what you met before you die, and you will appear after death'..."Zhang Muzi replied casually, chatted for a while, and felt that the mobile phone in his hand was no longer a trace of water, so he hurriedly threw the hair dryer aside, and pressed the power button with anticipation.

Soon, the image of an apple that had been bitten appeared on the mobile phone screen, and he said with a smile to Lu Wenhao in surprise: "Look, the big one, the phone is not broken, this is my newly bought Apple (Apple) X, it costs tens of thousands of yuan, it's really good...", at this moment, the door of the apartment was pushed open, and a young woman with a paper bag walked in.

The girl is not tall, her appearance is pure and cute, she looks like a bird, and she has a smile on her face when she first enters the door, but when she sees her boyfriend and a slender figure covered by a fat man's sweatshirt and cropped pants, she can't see the clue, but her legs are obviously much longer than her own, and the stranger with extremely delicate facial features under her short hair is sitting on the same sofa, making trouble, and her whole body freezes.

"You, you, what are you doing!

Okay, Lu Wenhao, you are really shameless, I worked hard to help people make money on behalf of others, taught more than ten hours of dancing a day, and my tired legs were broken, but you were fooling around behind my back," stunned for a few seconds, the girl scolded incoherently, "Clothes, she is still wearing your clothes, and she has used my hair dryer, that is, she has just taken a bath."

Okay, Lu Wenhao, you dare to split your legs, okay, okay, you have a kind of..."

The two big men in the room were stunned by the girl's loud shouting, and when they heard the last sentence, they realized that the girl actually regarded Zhang Muzi as a girl.

"Yasha, don't make noise, be careful that the neighbor hears, you, oh, you're too outrageous, you take a closer look at who this is. As the saying goes, the body is not afraid of shadows, Lu Wenhao didn't do anything wrong, so he naturally won't be weak-hearted, and he pointed to the dead friend on the side with a smile and said.

Unexpectedly, Zhang Muzi's eyes rolled, and he suddenly stood up angrily, put the mobile phone in his pocket, and said with a sharp voice and an extremely aggrieved expression, "Okay, it turns out that you have a girlfriend." Without looking back, he rushed out of the door with a quick step.

Before he could reach the top of the stairs, Lu Wenhao's angry voice came from behind him, "Fat wood, fat wood, you are a dead Xiao boy, this kind of thing can't be joked, come back quickly, come back quickly..."

Knowing that the clothes he changed were left in the apartment, the two of them could always explain it clearly after a while, so the wailing of his friend could not stop Zhang Muzi's footsteps at all, he smiled evilly and walked downstairs quickly, and after a while, he stood on the street and found his mobile phone again.

After setting Lu Wenhao's phone call to refuse to be answered, looking at the series of missed calls on the screen, Zhang Muzi's grinning face suddenly became bitter, sighed, thought carefully about the wording, and first dialed back his grandfather's number.

As soon as the phone rang, an angry voice came out, "Dead cub, I can't get through more than a dozen phone calls, and I can't see your dog home, and your father and mother said that I didn't see you, where did you go?"

"Xiaobai and Ah Huang haven't returned to the temple yet, how can it be," Zhang Muzi swallowed and spitted, and said nonsense: "I'll let them go back at the bus stop."

Don't be angry, grandpa, I just received a call from a classmate to celebrate my birthday when I arrived in Yuanbei, and I went to KTV to celebrate my birthday, and my mobile phone just ran out of battery..."

"Ana, you're all right, are you?" the old voice on the phone interrupted Zhang Muzi's words.

"I'm eighteen years old, and I'm not a child, what can I do," Zhang Muzi suddenly felt hungry when he spoke, and said casually: "It's just that I'm still a little hungry after eating, and I want to eat donkey meat."

Grandpa, aren't you the best at helping Luan to ask divination, why are you in a hurry? ”

"It's not a child, and you have to lead two big earth dogs as companions when you walk at night.

Hey, how can Li Shansan of my Tiangong Town have a descendant like you, I am really ashamed of my ancestors," Hearing this, the old man on the other end of the phone said angrily: "You started at the age of three, and you asked for a drive at the age of six, and now you don't even understand the truth of 'asking the heavens and the earth without asking yourself', and you have learned it in the belly of a dog in fifteen years!"

"That's what I said, don't be really angry, ah, the phone is running out of battery, and you have to call my parents, bye (goodbye) grandpa, I'll see you again in two weeks." Braving his grandfather's anger, Zhang Muzi said with a hippie smile, and then hurriedly hung up the phone.