"Didn't you just say it, you can't be angry no matter what I say."

I threw the pillows and clothes on the floor, and Miller picked them up, patted the dust, and put them back on my bed.

"You're lying to me." I leaned against the wall, losing my temper. My head tightened and tightened, and it hurt a little.

"I came to this school alone, and I didn't know anyone. You were the first person to be nice to me, hand me things, change beds with me, give me food, help me put sanitary napkins in my shoes......"

"Don't mention sanitary napkins!" My face was red again, and not just because I was angry.

"I'm sorry...... It's just that you take good care of me, so I want to be nice to you too. ”

"So you're going to sell my news to my sister?" I turned my face away from him.

"Nope."

"What did she tell you? The string thing? ”

"No, just let me pay more attention to you and tell her anything in time." He hung his head, "I don't know who Xianxian is, I only know that you have lost a very important loved one." ”

"You still don't admit it!" I kicked him, but it didn't work.

It's that I don't admit myself.

"However, after your sister told me, I felt ...... I do need to do something. I'm afraid ......"

"What are you afraid of? Oh, you're going to have pity on the poor kid, so that he doesn't suddenly think about it? ”

"That's not what it meant." His eyes were red, "I'm just afraid of ......"

Well, now I'm going to make him cry too.

We sniffled for a while, and he remembered something, and pulled a napkin out of his bag, one for each person. After tossing, we both calmed down a little. It's time to deal with this.

"Xianxian is my younger brother. My name is Ke Pei Wei, his name is Ke Peixian, and that's it. Only you know, don't tell anyone. Otherwise, we wouldn't be friends. ”

He nodded vigorously, his hair flicking up.

"Sleep." I leaned my head on the pillow, and suddenly I found that it was still stained with a layer of dust, but I could only endure it.

"The ......," he said, standing up on the ladder and pulling his pillow down, "shall we sleep together today?" ”

"What?"

"Your pillow is dirty."

"If it's dirty, it's dirty."

"But that's my pillow, I can't stand it getting dirty."

"Didn't we change it?"

"That's mine too! Let's go! ”

He took my pillow away and put it on the bench, then stuffed the pillow that had once belonged to me into the bed, turned off the light, told me to move him a seat, and squeezed it up. I sometimes toss and turn on my own and can't sleep, but if I know that someone is close to me, the drowsiness will gradually become contagious. Miller obviously took a shower when he got home, and his hair was scented with shampoo, which he could smell back to back.

A long time ago, when we didn't have bunk beds in our house, I would sleep in a bed with chords. We were still very young, we didn't sleep much, and we could stretch our limbs as much as we could. In the middle of the night, I often wake up suddenly, maybe I kicked the other person, or my hand was numb from my head. After waking up, he continued to sleep, as if to make sure that the other person was still by his side. When we wake up the next day, we will be in a sleeping position with different shapes like reliefs, and it is not surprising that we are upside down and head to tail. Probably the biggest joy of the day is to wake us up and creep into the room and take a sneak peek at the two of us with our phones. When I realized how much fun they had, I insisted on getting a bunk bed.

I knew my parents wanted to buy a new house, and I would have our own room for the strings. I have heard that every child's growth begins when they say goodbye to their parents and brothers and learn to sleep alone. He is no longer afraid of the dark, no longer afraid of ghosts, and can cope with long nights without the company of his relatives.

Why, then, do people get married? Why go back to falling asleep with someone? Could it be that when people grow up, their hearts become smaller?

Xianxian didn't wait for her own room, and I didn't care about moving or not anymore. My own room didn't appeal to me anymore.

"Koko."

"How?"

"If you can't sleep, you can hold me."

"Huh?"

"Because I see you always sleep with your goalkeeper gloves in your arms. By the way, do you want me to buy you a pillow? I'm also used to sleeping with something in my arms. ”

"That's a gift from Xianxian." Whisper. Anyway, he knows everything, so it's better to tell him.

"No wonder you like it so much, and you still take it with you when you go to military training."

"If I had taken it with me at all times like I am now, the strings would still be there."

It was a game two years ago and I didn't go because I had a high fever for a day. Xianxian and Zhao Rui went and called me in the evening to say that they were tied 1:1. Zhao Rui said on the phone that if I came today, maybe we would win. As my replacement, he was always so humble that it made me a little uncomfortable.

Xianxian said that Zhao Rui's performance today is quite good, and her progress is getting bigger and bigger.

When I heard that, I wanted to find my gloves. Maybe it's the sense of crisis as the main force, maybe it's jealousy, maybe there are some other emotions, all of which are messed up with the hot head. However, I couldn't find the gloves, so I got anxious. Looking for something is always like this, the more urgent you are, the more you can't find it. I started throwing things around, screaming and screaming, like crazy. Mom and Dad knocked on the door and asked what was wrong, and I locked the door. When they kick the door, I scold.

Xianxian kept calling me to ask what was going on. It was a long time before I told him that I had lost the gloves he had given me.

"Brother, don't worry, it's okay. I'll buy you a new one right away, and I'll get home when I get home!" ”

I calmed down and found it in a small satchel. The line of poetry on the finger sleeve is also still there: "Heaven and earth have righteousness, and miscellaneous manifolds are endowed with manifolds."

"Brother, if you are a goalkeeper, you must have an aura. I wrote Wen Tianxiang's poem on your glove, and you must have such a heroic righteousness when guarding the door! When I heard this, I smiled rarely.

It was late and the strings didn't come back. I unlocked the door and went out to find that my parents were gone.

I sat in the living room waiting, wearing thick pajamas and pajamas, guarding the dim light in the dining room. It consists of several small light bulbs adorned with many crystal pendants. As soon as you turn on the light, you can see countless diamond-like diamond-shaped shadows swaying on the wall. Our family always eats around the twinkling light.

And today several small bulbs on this lamp are not lit. I waited and waited until I fell asleep on the couch and woke up just in time to see a light bulb go out like a candle. There was not a hint of wind, and there was not the slightest sign of it. After a few seconds, it flickered tenaciously twice, never lighting up again.

I got up and went to twist it, trying to make it stronger. My mom told me that it might be a poor contact. My hands were burned. I wrapped it in a tissue and re-twisted it, making sure it was stuck in its rightful place.

But it shows no signs of coming back on.

I'm a little uneasy.

The door opened, and I hurried over, Mom in front and Dad in the back, dressed in dark coats with a deep, icy chill. Dad closed the door as soon as he came in without the slightest pause.

"Mom? Didn't you go to pick up the strings? Where is he? ”

I've never seen my mother's face so pale. She was like a tree that was about to fall and was trying to hold it up, trying to control it in front of me. And I was fluttering, as if I had been punched hard, and the whole world was left with a muffled sound that echoed in my head for a long time, and the air around me was surging like a dark tide......

"So Brother Xianxian died of a heart attack?"

"Yes. If he doesn't go to buy gloves and goes home to rest, it will definitely be fine. It's all my fault. ”

"Keko, don't think so."

"I killed him, didn't I? I don't even dare to admit it. ”

"Then it's also to blame your substitute, if he knows a little first aid knowledge and rescues in time, your brother won't leave."

That's why I hate Zhao Rui so much. He kept saying that he was Xianxian's best friend, and in the end he couldn't do anything, and watched him lose his life. And when I saw him and asked him about these things, he always said sorry to me, and then pretended to care about me. There are such shameless people in the world.

And he is still in the same class as his sister, and during military training, I saw them talking together several times. I complained to my sister about him, and she actually turned her elbow out to protect this kid.

"Way, what's the matter? I'm sorry, the teacher has dragged the class, how long have you waited? ”

After the first day of school, I blocked my cousin at the door of Class 14. I saw Zhao Rui, who greeted me in the door, and was in a sly manner. I ignored him.

"What did you do?" I kept a calm face, like a class teacher interrogating a student.

"Huh? No, me, I just ......" probably didn't expect me to ask so directly, and she didn't know how to answer for a while. But she understood.

Finally, one day, my gaze will make people want to escape.

"Are you filming a spy war drama? Director Zhao, Boss Zhao, Commander-in-Chief Zhao! "I said this on purpose, on the one hand, because I was angry, and on the other hand, I wanted to provoke her and have a good fight with her. She went too far this time.

"Don't talk about that, I just want to care about you. I didn't say anything specific. She tentatively tapped me on the shoulder. I shook her hand down.

"That's how you care about me. Or do I care so much about you? ”

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. ”

"What exactly are you afraid of? Am I a problem child? I studied and worked hard to learn, but I couldn't compare to you. That's my stupid brain, you're smart. What else do you want? ”

"No, you're not stupid." She reached out again, and this time I didn't move again, "The three of us grew up together, and the strings are gone, aren't I sad?" Isn't everyone sad? We have lost a loved one, and we cannot afford to lose a second one. ”[1]

"Then you should take care of yourself, go for more physical examinations, find out heart disease in advance, and treat it well, can't you?"

"How do you talk!" She was a little angry.

"Pewe, don't talk to your sister like that, okay?"

It was Zhao Rui who interrupted me, he walked out of the classroom, his voice seemed to beg me, but it seemed to me that he was still like that, looking like a little adult when he was a little taller than me, as if he was disciplining me. He's half a year younger than me.

"Go away! You're not from our family, what's your business? Just because you are also surnamed Zhao? ”

I yelled at him, and he froze at the door of the classroom, staring at me blankly. I really don't understand why this round-headed, round-headed and stupid little white face has such a good academic performance.

"Okay, if you don't go, then I'll go! I'm leaving! "I shook my hand, my nose was sour, and before leaving, I didn't forget to tell my sister that you can report to my parents tonight, I am in trouble at school again, and now they should be at ease.

I ran to the top floor. There was no one there, the rooftop door was locked, and I just sat outside the door crying, wiping my eyes with my hands. My sister came after me, sat down next to me, handed me the paper, and said to wipe it with this.

One after another.

"I don't mean anything else, that is, if I had found out earlier, how could Xianxian have ......" I cried almost as I tried to piece together my own sentences, "do you understand? I'm afraid, I'm afraid you have ...... too"

"It's okay, brother, I've checked, and there is no problem at all." She patted my knee hard and reassured me, "You're good, you're very good, I've listened to my aunt and uncle." But I'm a little worried......"

When I heard this, I was angry and sad. I don't know how to prove myself, it seems that I have been convicted of an irrevocable crime - you are just not a normal person, and no matter how good you behave, there are problems behind it. And at that moment, I just wanted to prove that I could have a real friend like all ordinary people. To be honest, what my sister did to Miller made me feel deeply that I was not trusted by the most important person in my heart. It's like a slap in the face, telling me you're never going to get better.

"So what am I going to do? Is it normal for you to be a problem child, a gangster, who doesn't study well, skips classes all day, is idle, fights and smokes? Then you can care for me and heal me, isn't that fulfilling? Am I the object of your charity? Do you want to choose you as one of the top 10 people in this year's moving No. 1 Middle School? Helping my brother with psychological problems get out of trouble......"

"I just want Wei Wei to be okay and not to be fine." She pulled out a piece of paper for herself, "I'm sorry, my sister doesn't do that kind of thing anymore." Forgive me. ”

"I told you, I'm not going to end my life casually. I still owe a lot. ”

I was pushed and hit the door behind me.

"Don't say that! What do you mean by 'still owing a lot'? Tell you, Ke Peiwei, no matter what you owe, no matter who you owe, no matter when you pay it back, even if you pay it back, you have to give your mother a good life, understand? ”

"Got it......"

"Next time, I'll just slap you." She spoke to my ear, softening a little, tears dripping onto my collar.

"Fan."

"Then you promise me that no matter what happens, you will not end your life."

"Didn't you promise it before?"

"You promise again."

[1] My sister used Zhou Puyuan's lines in "Thunderstorm" here.