"Keko, Luka will leave it to us. He'll be fine. You can send Zhao Rui and Xuexue to the hospital with the coach with peace of mind. You can also take a look at Mu Zheng and help us say hello to him. Alas, hopefully he will be better. Millet whispered in my ear. Luca's eyes are swollen, and he may have never suffered such a grievance since he was a child. He wasn't the only one who was uncomfortable, and it was unprecedented that such repeated mistakes were concentrated in one game. The coach didn't say anything after the game, just told us to rest and prepare for tomorrow's evening test. The last race will probably be in early December, so don't worry about it just yet. In addition, she will submit an appeal to the organizing committee regarding the penalty in this field.

What's the use of appealing? The result of the match is destined to be irrevocable. There is also a string of injuries and suspensions that cannot be changed. The two who were sent off with red cards will be suspended for one game, plus Ming Ming, who received the fourth yellow card of the season, and Mu Zheng, who was lying on the hospital bed, our lineup in the life-and-death battle is destined to be shattered.

Registration, waiting, and examination, a set of processes came down, Zhao Rui's problem was not too big, and some external medicine was prescribed, which would be fine in a few days. Xuexue was really pulled to stitches as the school doctor said, and it was said that he had to get three stitches. If you don't know how to sew, will you make people take a needle and thread and pierce it on the door of the head like sewing clothes? I didn't dare to imagine it, and I wasn't allowed to watch from the sidelines. To be honest, I can't stand it. I can't be a doctor at all. Zhao Rui and the coach asked me to visit Mu Zheng first, and when Xuexue was sent to the debridement room, he once again instructed me not to let Mu Zheng know that he had become like this.

But I still haven't figured out how to tell Mu Zheng.

The phone rang. It was Tao Tao who called. Sitting outside the ward, I hesitated and walked to the end of the corridor so as not to let Mu Zheng hear my voice.

"Keco? I'm Tao Tao. We drew with the Colonel today. Feifei scored the goal in the first half, and made a gesture of No. 23, saying that he would give you the goal, and I wish you a speedy recovery. It's a pity that we could have won, but in the end we didn't hold on and let Pu Yun score a free-kick. By the way, Pu Yun is your old classmate, right? He's the captain of the Colonel today. What? Yes, Shi Zhenhua didn't start, and only played in the second half. The school underestimated us a little too much, thinking that we could win by relying on a few second-year junior high school players with a group of substitutes, but we almost lost. However, people can qualify with one point, and it is normal to be a little lax. By the way, did you win? ”

There's no need to be so secretive about Taotao. I probably grumbled for a while, and I was grateful to him for his patience in listening to my complaints. After I hung up the phone, it was pitch black outside the window. You shouldn't be so complaining. After all, I can't do anything to be so angry. It's boring. I shook my head to myself and walked to the door of the ward.

"Is it Peve?"

Just as he was about to sit back on the bench, a long shadow, dragged by the dim light in the hallway, extended from the door to the wall. It's Mr. Zhou. She looked at me with a bucket of clothes and closed the door. I nodded to her hurriedly and asked if Mu Zheng was better. She said that she had just had treatment in the afternoon and was still resting, thank you for coming to see him. Looks like I don't have to think about how to talk to him about the game for a while. Excuse me, I'll come back to see him next time. With that, I was ready to go.

"You seem to be a little unhappy." Teacher Zhou put the laundry bucket on the side of the chair, and his voice was gentle and soft. I stopped. At that time, my expression was probably the same as before. How did she see my feelings?

If there is anything, you can tell the teacher. If you're not in a hurry or hungry. She motioned for me to come and sit down on the bench. Actually, I could just say that there was nothing wrong and walk away. It was a waste of time to talk to Teacher Zhou about the game and the referee's decision, she should have gone to do the laundry, and after the washing, she had to take care of Mu Zheng, and then she might have to prepare for class or correct homework. I'm already busy, but I'm still delaying. But for some reason, as if I was attracted by a magnet, I really sat down on the chair next to Mr. Zhou.

I've never been a big fan of talking to adults. I used to talk to my mother, but I didn't say a word. Mr. Huang said that I could tell him if I had something, and I agreed, and then I never looked for him. Maybe I'm not naturally trusting adults or I'm not very good at talking to them? I guess I'll always be a sensitive and fearful little boy in my bones. The world of adults seems to be completely different from ours, but I will become an adult one day, and now my heels may be about to step into the world of adults. You can't escape, you can only grow up. Adults have a lot more experience than we do, and I don't like to listen to what they say to us, but I know that most of them are right. As a child for 14 years, I have obediently followed their instructions and walked step by step to where I am now. It doesn't look too bad, and I'm afraid that some adults envy their parents for having children like me. Perhaps, if I am more obedient, more sensible, less willful, and not play those little tempers, I can become a good child who can really make my parents proud, and at the same time, I will not let something happen.

Why do I involuntarily resist when I know that others are right? To be inexplicable, people can sometimes be like little animals, acting on emotions that they can't understand. In the past, I always wanted to run away when I saw adults, but today I stayed behind inexplicably. It may be that Mr. Zhou has this ability to calm me down and calm down. I haven't participated in a few literary club activities so far, but when I go, I feel the silence of the midday sun shining through the leaves and casting shadows on the windowsill. The world is calm and fluid.

I really told Tao Tao what I just told again. Of course, I didn't swear, and I calmed down a lot when I spoke. I'm ashamed that I shouldn't have bothered Mr. Zhou with these things, but I don't have much wisdom in my head.

"I see, we didn't win, it's a really bad result, and it's not that fair." She nodded slightly, "Still, there's a chance, isn't it?" It's only one point away from second place, right? ”

"But it depends on people's faces. Destiny is no longer in our hands. I sighed. After being held to a draw by a penalty that didn't exist, we have to win away from the school in our next game and hope that we don't lose to Yuki. The Colonels have not lost at home for three years, and they continue to do so to this day. For their part, they only need to win at home to the bottom of the group to secure qualification, without thinking about the outcome of the other game. There is also a very negative factor, we only won one draw and one loss in the two legs, the relationship between victory and defeat is not dominant, once the two teams have the same number of points, it is still us who will be eliminated. I have more or less heard before that every time in the last few rounds of the World Cup qualifiers, Chinese fans will start to do math problems, calculate and analyze the probability and situation of the Chinese team being able to qualify, and then hope that other teams in the same group can take action and "pull brothers" to help the Chinese team defeat the competitors in the standings. I was very amusing when I heard it before, but now I have begun to calculate that there is a kind of bitterness or frustration of people under the roof. When I was on the phone with Taotao, I kept thinking about whether to tell him, help us, don't lose to Yuqi, for the sake of us being teammates before.

Maybe I should give Ah Hua or Pu Yun a call? Tell them that we are still elementary school classmates. You're all qualified, and you've locked up the top spot in the group, so you don't have to be so serious in the last game, just go up and go on the bench and kick whatever you want. Saving someone's life is better than creating a seventh-level floating slaughter, and something that is not so important to you may be someone else's lifesaver, the beauty of a gentleman as an adult.

An adult once told me that I must do a good job in interpersonal relationships, otherwise I will suffer a loss when I go into society. My friends and I got along pretty well, but I knew that it wasn't what they called relationships. That's a different set of things. I was dismissive of human affairs, and even a few times, I felt that Xianxian got along too well with some people I didn't know so well, and it tasted a bit of flattery, and I quarreled with him because of it. I don't want to bring this kind of thing to the field, obviously my father seems to have said before that campus sports are the purest. Whether it is match-fixing or tacit ball, it should be despised by sportsmanship, let alone in campus football games.

But why do I think of these things "automatically"? Ah Hua is right, everyone has changed. In the past, I would never have had this kind of thought, and I thought that people who had this kind of thought were extremely greasy and disgusting. Maybe deep down in my soul, I'm not the same person I used to be. That's right, it's not for a long time, there's no need to hide it. If, I mean, if someone from another school or branch school says to me, as long as you ask us, give up your dignity and let people put their feet on your head, we can help you make your wish come true, I think...... I'll at least think about it, very seriously. Maybe I really said yes. If they stomp a few hard feet on my head, I think I would be able to endure it and thank them. The premise is that I only need to do it alone, and they can't insult other people, and some of them have stitches on their heads.

Over the years, I have gradually come to understand a truth, the power of one person is so insignificant. I wanted to take my destiny into my own hands and live my life in the open, but at least that afternoon let me know that the reality was not the case. Everyone's starting point is very different, and the pursuit of a little fairness in the competition has become a luxury. "Society is a mud pit, and we have to stand on the high ground." "The more heartless you are, the faster you rise, and you have to hit people mercilessly to make them afraid of you. The men and women could only be used as stagecoaches, and they were ridden to the exhaustion, and when they were at the station, they were thrown down; So that you can reach the highest peak of desire. "Society is nothing but a cliché of fools and liars. Don't be a fool or a liar. The words in the novel were rolling in my mind very clearly, probably the originally kind Rastigne also saw the truth of society and decided to "fight". I thoroughly realized that Miller had helplessness and frustration, and at that time I was really not deeply involved in the world, and I had never seen any darkness at all. And today's referee is not even the dark side of society, just a dereliction of duty and arrogance, which is more disheartening than darkness, because he may not even have malicious intent. If the law enforcer is so indifferent to everything he is responsible for, why should people willingly endure the pain and sweat and blood? How unworthy of the sacrifice was. [1]

It's not that we can't afford to lose, we all survived when we were eliminated by a foreign school a few months ago. At that time, I was just sad and remorseful, and I didn't know what to do, and now I am only left with grievances and nests, and I can't cry happily if I want to. Perhaps, this thought is because I feel that fate is not so solemn and sacred. Your fate is sometimes held in the hands of some people boringly, kicked around like an inconsequential ball. A good mood will make you comfortable, and a bad mood can make you disgraced and embarrassed. There is no other way to choose but to accept it obediently. There are no forever good children in the world, only temporary good children and children who are temporarily considered unwell-behaved and need to be educated well. The man in black with a whistle in his hand taught me a good lesson today. The arrogance and irresponsibility of adults can hurt children more than anything. Since the adults told me that this child's world is like this, it is inevitable that I will have that kind of thought.

"Teacher Zhou, I want to ask you a question. Can people really control their own destiny? I looked up at her. Soon after I said that, I realized my stupidity. My brain is in water, and Mr. Zhou is not just my teacher. The cruelty of fate to her was far heavier than what I was exposed to today, and I only asked this question because I was depressed. Lukka once told me about a dilemma in which he liked to ask his elders about the past, but found that there were things that he remembered but couldn't be talked about. They are so heavy that they still weigh on people's chests with the passage of time. Every time I think about it, it is tantamount to uncovering the scar and reproducing the pain in front of my eyes, so that the person will be hurt again. I should be the most understanding of them. But I didn't take Mr. Zhou's feelings into account that night. How far am I from true maturity?

She didn't say anything about me, nor did she look displeased. He smiled calmly and confidently and answered me with serious and peaceful words.

Probably so. Man cannot fully control his own destiny, but his destiny is always in his own hands.

I don't understand.

So, I'll tell you a story. Very famous, ancient Greek mythology, later Sophocles changed it into a tragedy, called "Oedipus the King". You don't have to be so serious, relax, if you don't take the exam, just listen to the story. A young prince named Oedipus received an oracle one day that he would kill his father and marry his mother. He was frightened, so he fled his homeland. Someone was abused on the road and killed the other person. Later, Oedipus solved the mystery of the Sphinx with his talents, and when the local king died, everyone embraced him as king and married the queen. Oedipus became a wise monarch, but later the country was plagued by a plague, and the gods instructed that the murderer of the previous king must be found in order to relieve the plague. Oedipus struggles to find out that the murderer is himself, and the previous king is the arrogant old man he killed on the road. And because of the investigation, he found out that he was the son of the previous king, and his father, when he was born, learned that he would one day kill his father and marry his mother, so he ordered the shepherds to abandon him into the wilderness. The kind shepherd gave him to his companions in neighboring countries. So, under the guidance of fate, Oedipus really fulfilled the prophecy of killing his father and marrying his mother. What happened to you? Uncomfortable? Are you hungry? Or is it cold?

I'm fine, teacher, you go on. I'm listening.

From the story of Oedipus, we can see that fate comes and happens without any reason. Oedipus is a good king, a good husband, and a good father, and he does his best to avoid the end of killing his father and marrying his mother, but he silently falls into the snare of fate and becomes a murderer. His fate was not determined by himself, but he himself unintentionally forged the destined outcome with his own hands, and he had to pay for it. Isn't it too cold? I'll go get you some clothes and put them on, you're shivering with cold. Is it really not needed? Don't be afraid, the teacher is here. Still want to listen? Okay. As I said earlier, Oedipus the King is a tragedy. But it is a tragedy not because Oedipus has fallen into such a miserable situation. It's not that good people are miserable to be called tragic. In ancient Greece, tragedy had to evoke a sense of the sublime and bring "purification" to the viewer. Oedipus has his own heroism, and while investigating the case, he gradually discovers that all the clues point to him, and his mother also finds out, and wants to stop Oedipus from continuing the investigation for the purpose of protecting the child, burying her grief in her heart. But Oedipus does not run away, he wants to fulfill his promise to his subjects, to lift the plague, and to find out who he really is, even if the truth is the most cruel. Upon learning that he was the murderer, he did not defend himself, but accepted the punishment, stabbed his eyes blind, and exiled himself. In ancient Greece, people still believed in the gods. However, compared to the gods who control their fate from above, Oedipus is not small. He can't choose the fate of killing his father and marrying his mother, but he can choose to face his fate bravely like a hero, neither yielding nor falling, and taking responsibility for what he does, whether intentionally or unintentionally, without complaint. [2]

But is there really such a person in the world? After all, it's a myth, after all, it's a literary work, it's not true. Man is very fragile in the face of fate. Teacher, I want to say a word, not to make you angry, and I don't mean anything else. It's just that I don't think literature is that useful. When fate really falls on people, the weight of darkness can crush people at once. I've read some books and tried to get a little strength out of them, but it didn't work when fate struck. Books can't help you defend against fate. It can't bring any help, it can't even get money, isn't Cervantes just poor to death? There was not even a funeral person. There are also great differences in what some writers have written and done. I seemed to really want to talk, and I talked a lot at once, but fortunately, my brain turned around and swallowed "Hemingway committed suicide" back into my stomach.

You're right. Literature is sometimes not that useful. Teacher Zhou continued that calm and gentleness, and his hand was gently resting on my head. In other words, literature itself does not exist because it has a strong practical role. When something happens in life, holding a book to find a way and find a fighting spirit is a bit of a fate. Teachers are happy to see that you have your own thinking. That's right, many writers are completely different people in writing and in life, and they can't be generalized. Literature is not plug-and-play, it requires a long period of reading, thinking and precipitation. It doesn't have to be the right medicine, and it's hardly an immediate effect, and you need to feel it slowly in your life. Just like your competition, standing on the field is the result of long-term training, and the competition is changing rapidly, and the content of training must be very different. In short, literature is not so great and not so "useful". It can pass on some knowledge, but it is not a practical tool and does not bring much wealth. But with a certain amount of reading and life experience, maybe one day you will suddenly find its subtle influence on you. Mu Ran looked back, but the man was in the dim light." [3]

"There is one more thing to always remember. The more you read and the more you learn, the more tolerant and peaceful you should be, and the more you can face life calmly. Don't let knowledge become your capital to crush others, and don't use it excessively as a means to climb up. Reading and writing are meant to communicate, to communicate with others, to communicate with oneself, and to bridge the barriers between people, not to deepen them. Many writers and readers have taken such detours, full of pride and prejudice. I hope you don't use literature as a show-off talking point. She touched my cheek with her hand and smiled trustingly, "Sure, I don't think Peve is like that, right?" You're a good kid. ”

I bit my lip.

"It's a bit of a stretch. A dark fate may indeed be inevitable, like the injustices you encounter today. The more specific the thing, the more you can think of ways to deal with it. I think, on the one hand, you have to try your best to fight for your rights, and Mr. Wang will definitely be in charge of this matter. On the other hand, don't let it shake your faith. The teacher understands everyone's unwillingness, and it is a good thing to have such unwillingness, which shows that our hearts are full of expectations rather than getting by. Do you know the story of Sisyphus? That's also a Greek legend. Sisyphus was punished by the gods to push the boulder up the mountain permanently, but the boulder would roll down every time he reached the top of the mountain. So Sisyphus pushed the boulder over and over again, repeating this work day after day, with no end. Sometimes life is so hopeless and ineffective. However, a writer named Camus tells us that Sisyphus was happy. It is absurd to never stop pushing stones, but Sisyphus knows his own misery and absurdity, and he knows that his fate belongs to him, and he is the master of his own life. He denied the gods and continued to push the stone to the top of the mountain in a loop. It's a struggle, and even if the boulder falls off, it's enough to keep climbing to the top of the mountain. Sisyphus was not engulfed in absurdity, he chose happiness, stronger than the stone he pushed. Perhaps this story is a bit obscure, but consider the cliché, Romain Rolland's words, 'There is only one kind of heroism in the world, and that is to see the truth of life and still love life'. Life and fate may not be difficult to crush a person, but everyone has moments when they can't bear it. But sometimes there is always a force that sustains people and keeps them from being changed. Literature may or may not be able to provide this power, because sometimes literature can make people lose sight of life, or they will not love it when they see it clearly. But life is vast, and the possibilities are endless. Maybe it's a minute of encounter, a look, an unforgettable afternoon or evening, enough to support a person through a lifetime. 'Gray is all theories, but the golden tree of life is evergreen'. ”[4]

It seems that Mr. Huang also said this to me, although there are subtle differences. I suddenly felt that I didn't need to ask Teacher Zhou so many questions, and I didn't need to trouble her to spend so much time answering for me. She was right, and the answer was in life. Teacher Zhou is not just a teacher on the podium, she is the one who tells us the lightness and the weight in the sunshine and breeze of the literary club, and she is always calm and calm in the twists and turns of life and fate, and maintains her self-esteem and demeanor. I wondered and thought for a long time, and the answer that I didn't have to say was actually in front of me for a long time.

"Thank you, teacher. I know what to do. ”

"I think you've changed."

I was a little surprised, but the teacher's eyes were still full of kindness, and maybe a little relieved.

"In the past, Pewe was afraid to look at others, whether it was to speak or to listen. But today, Pewe was looking at the teacher all the time, and his eyes were very bright and clean. You're also more energetic than before, and you're moving and doing a lot of things. Mr. Wang is really wise to let you be the captain. As she spoke, she took something out of her pocket and handed it to me, "But there are some things that the teacher still can't take." ”

It's some banknotes. I came to the ward with everyone to see Mu Zheng before, and I used the money Taotao gave me to buy a fruit basket, exchanged all my pocket money for whole money, and secretly stuffed it into the fruit basket.

"Teacher...... This, this is my own money. I want to help Mu Zheng. It's really not a lot, and it may be a drop in the bucket. No, I'm not saying enough...... Mu Zheng is my friend, and the money is for him. After all, ......" was suddenly a little at a loss, and he wanted to explain but stammered, not knowing what to say, for fear of misunderstanding.

I didn't dare to look at her at all.

"Rest assured, we can solve the problem on our own. It's already a hassle for you to come and see him, and he's busy on weekends. "The teacher shoved the money into my palm.

"But, teacher, look at ......," I hurriedly flipped through the crumpled bills, and pulled out the one-of-a-kind five-dollar from fifty and one hundred dollars, "the others are mine, but this five-dollar is from a branch school student, and we have been rivals." The conditions at his home are very bad, and he can't buy sneakers for 20 yuan. But after knowing what happened to Mu Zheng, he also wanted to help. Teacher, I understand, I understand, you are my most respected teacher, and Mu Zheng is also my good brother, but if you want to return the money to me, I really don't know how to tell my junior brother......"

"The teacher got it. Please wait for me. She patted me on the right shoulder, turned and opened the door and entered the room. A moment later, she came out with a book in her hand.

"We'll take this five-dollar one, and we'll take another fifty-dollar one. This book also bothered you to give it to that junior. I'll give you a copy of the same next week. She took fifty-five dollars from me, and handed me a yellowed book. "No One Letters from the Colonel" shows a rooster drawn with a ballpoint pen on the cover, with its head held high, with a flaming red comb on its head, as if it would never bow its proud head. I don't know whose handiwork, Mu Zheng or Teacher Zhou? Or the heroic father I'll never see again? Or maybe it came from someone I'll never know. The book is very old, printed in 1985, and it is older than me. After tossing and turning, it will come to Feifei's school bag, and the rooster is still holding its head high. What I got later was a book called "The Colonel Who Nobody Wrote to Him," with the same rooster on the cover, but it was printed. In the years that followed, I would turn it from beginning to end over and over again, and nothing stuck in my mind more than those last few words. [5]

I don't think I'm going to make those calls. I'm going to get back on the field, fight with all my heart, hold my part of destiny in my hands, and then wait quietly and long for the boulder to slide off the top of the mountain.

[1] These words are quoted from Balzac's The Tall Old Man. See the story of Millet in Book II, chapters 20 and 27.

[2] Oedipus the King is a tragedy written by the ancient Greek writer Sophocles. Sophocles, Aeschylus and Euripides are known as the three great tragic poets of ancient Greece, and his representative works are "Oedipus the King" and "Antigone". Antigone was the daughter of Oedipus.

[3] Wang Guowei divides his studies into three realms. The first realm, "Last night, the west wind withered the green trees, went up to the tall building alone, and looked at the end of the world", from Yan Shu's "Butterfly Love Flower", referring to searching. The second realm, "The belt gradually widens and does not regret it, and makes people haggard for Yi", from Liu Yong's "Fengqiwu", which refers to persistence. The third realm, "The crowd looked for him thousands of times, and suddenly looked back, but the person was in the lamplight", from Xin Qiji's "Qingyu Case: Yuan Xi", which is a sudden enlightenment.

[4] Camus's interpretation of Sisyphus is from The Myth of Sisyphus. Romain Rolland's words are from "Michelangelo". The last sentence is from Liang Zongdai's version of Faust.

[5] The two books are one book, written by García Márquez in 1961. The former is a translation of the name when the copyright was not obtained, and it was published in 1985, so it is relatively old. The latter is the original translation after the author's authorization. The ending of the novel is classic. The work depicts the complicated feelings of an old colonel in his 70s who is looking forward to a pension but cannot do so, and the embarrassing life that arises from it. The colonel had participated in the revolution at a young age. After the war, the new government promised to give them pensions to live out their old age, his wife suffered from severe asthma, his son was killed by the reactionaries, and the old couple was left alone, and their only hope was that the government would keep its promise and send them a pension. But this wait of the colonel became a desperate wait day after day, year after year, and the letter with a pension never seemed to come. The proud fighting was the only relic left by his son, and the colonel's life was almost exhausted, and he tried to sell it several times to make ends meet, but he was unwilling to give it up.