The second leg against Polytechnic High School was our indisputably darkest moment in junior high school, and perhaps the grayest moment before Miller's fourteenth birthday. It was more memorable than any loss. I also wondered if I should put this memory into words. Perhaps parents who want their children to participate in football or other sports will resolutely pull their children out of the house after reading about it. I still remember the worries that were clearly expressed to us during the first Mid-Autumn Festival of the first year of junior high school, and these worries that only existed in our minds turned into vivid realities, appearing in front of us children who are less than 15 years old without cover.

But if you have made up your mind to re-examine yourself, why should you avoid it? "There are so many things in life that you can't just laugh at and get past. It's not that you don't want to, things don't exist. We can't run away from things because they're heavy, thinking they're unhealthy and shouldn't be thought about. If you don't use your brain often, you will become stupid and indifferent. "Even if there is a misunderstanding, as long as you really give, everyone will understand. Don't be discouraged by misunderstandings. You know, you don't do something for anything else, it's because you think it's worth doing. "Life and fate may not be difficult to crush a person, and everyone has moments that they can't bear. But sometimes there is always a force that sustains people and keeps them from being changed. "I haven't had time to forget the words of my teachers, and I still remember the people who endured this disaster are always above board. Don't choke on food. Man is born destined to die, but man is not born for the sake of death. Again, that potential danger has nothing to do with the fact that we play and love a sport. The dark day let us know the preciousness and greatness of light, just as Mr. Zhou said in the first game, sports taught us warmth and strength.

However...... We must always remember that we must not be strange or moved by ourselves. Even though we were traumatized in this game, we weren't the ones who really suffered that kind of pain at all. He shouldn't be silent and silent, it's me and Miller who really need to be restrained and quiet. No matter how much I try to look back calmly and objectively on what happened that day, all I can say is what I saw and heard.

Let's face it again.

We continued our start in the second leg. As long as you draw to advance to the final, a small defeat with a goal is also acceptable. Polytechnic, like last week's Colonel, had to attack, and as long as we strengthened our defensive line and took advantage of the counter-attack opportunities like the 54th Lieutenant School, we believed that we could replicate the outcome of that game - not to mention that we were equal in numbers to our opponents at the beginning. Xuexue made the squad this time and sat on the bench wearing a mask. But the coach also solemnly announced that his only chance to play was a penalty shootout. In Friday's club class, the whole team practiced penalty kicks. Even though there was only a do-or-die battle to decide the promotion place with a 0-1 loss, the coach made us well prepared. As always, even with the mask on, Xuexue's penalty kicks are still the most stable, followed by Lao Ye, the two of them are almost "sure to hit every point". By the way, Mu Zheng also returned to the sidelines, although he was only doing some recovery sports alone, and did not participate in other group training except for penalty kicks. It will take time to get back to the point where you can play, and it will take even longer to get back to the form you had done before. At that time we all thought he wouldn't be in time for the last game, but as long as he was there for us it was inspiring enough.

Mu Zheng was not there that day, just in time for the review he had made an appointment. The mistaken timing once made him regretful, but now he thinks about it is a great luck.

That's where our penalty training comes in. In the first half, we defused several rounds of offensive attacks one by one, and we continued to create threats in attack. Ye Ruiyang had a header that slid past the goal, and Yan Xi also hit the penalty area, but his low shot was blocked by the No.4 with Cicero on his back. The situation was moving in our favor until the end of the half.

"Let's make a face, is this a penalty kick?" Lao Ye's expression can only be described as "angry hair rushing to the crown". I heard that we were awarded a controversial penalty here last season and I was not there that day to comment. But today the penalty was blown on my head and the referee showed me a yellow card. The moment the whistle blew was incredible, there was a roar in the head, and there were countless scorching bugs in the back that were stinging and jumping.

How could this be a penalty?

A minute ago, Aniwal received Huo Yuqi's scalpel and successfully entered the penalty area to form a single goal. Naturally, I chose to abandon the door and attack, and when I think about it today, I was brave enough to meet his long legs with the ball with my hands. It was probably this fearlessness that affected him, as Aniwal was a little unsteady in his center of gravity when he tried to dribble past me, and the ball was touched in the opposite direction with my hands in a timely manner. Like all strikers, Aniwal jumped up and got past me after hopelessness on the ball, which was a sign of avoiding collisions, protecting opponents and himself, and sportsmanship. But his pace was already a little unsteady and he jumped hastily, and he fell into the penalty area after landing on the ground. My first instinct when I held the ball was to look back to see if he was hurt, but the referee's finger was pointing to the penalty spot.

I didn't even touch him, and Aniwar quickly got to his feet. There were quite a few witnesses, with three of my four defenders running up to the referee in protest and some players on both sides having a small verbal altercation. And after a brief loss of consciousness, I was greeted with a rage all over my body. It's not that it's unacceptable to be awarded a penalty, the problem is that it shouldn't exist at all. It's not the first time we've suffered from referee mistakes, the last time it was Luca and this time it's me, and this glaring misjudgment has repeatedly challenged our confidence in enforcers. But I have to be patient, I'm the captain and I've got a yellow card on me, so any excesses could be a new blow to the team.

"Tell me, did Koko touch you! Speak! Dumb? ”

It's been a long time since I've seen Miller so angry (mainly because I don't "create opportunities" much in life), and he forced himself in front of Anival, who was quite different in height from himself, and actually had the upper hand, making the other party choose to remain silent. And the more he was silent, the more angry Millet became, and in a fit of rage, he pushed him. Anival took a few steps back—a scream for a "smart man," and then fell to the ground more realistically, rolling around with his face covered. In this way, the referee who does not know why is likely to show a red card directly to Millet.

"It's okay, don't rush, I can pounce." I hugged Millet from behind, and he was crazy to break free, but I was so desperate that I carried him off the ground. Even if it was only for a moment in the air, Miller's feet habitually kicked up, and my calf was kicked unintentionally, and I almost didn't stand still.

"Ke Peiwei, you've been like this all your life! Elbow out! I'm here to help you! Seeing that he couldn't break free of my arm, he turned his head angrily and yelled, until the referee and the players from both sides came to calm down a little. The referee asked what had just happened, and Aniwal and I said in unison that it was fine. The referee didn't play any more cards, but Miller twisted his head unhappily and turned his back on me in anger.

Why don't I want to protest? It's a, I can't do anything, it's even more shameful than the last time I watched Luca lift his clothes on the sidelines.

"Senior brother, did the first squadron leader touch you?" Huo Yuqi, who was wearing the captain's armband, walked to Aniwal with the ball in his arms, "You tell the truth. I saw it very clearly for myself. ”

Azi's voice was not loud, and Aniwar replied in his ear. Why do you want to ask this? The Captain's actions gave me a stab at my anger and anxiety, a little feverish, but a little buffered in my self-controlled brain.

Keko, I'm sorry, I was so excited just now. I get you. Don't let me affect you, okay? We're still playing as well as we did before. Miller's dissatisfaction lasted only for a short time. Just as I was looking at the opponent I was talking to, he took the initiative to walk up to me, a little embarrassed with a frowning face. He also grabbed my glove and shook it in a pleading way, which reminded me of the happiness of being used as a shield on the day I looked for the parrot.

Hearing his calm tone, the distracting thoughts in his heart vanished. It's amazing that a person's anger and joy can affect the emotions of others so effectively, as if they are being led by the nose, and deep down they are still willing. Miller's stability is the most effective tranquilizer for me and gives me confidence and strength.

The protest was fruitless, everyone retreated outside the penalty area, and I stood in front of the door with my gloves slapped. "Heaven and earth have righteousness, and miscellaneous manifolds", again, I put it on my hand. I'm sure I'll be able to make it to the finals this time. Come on, what about a penalty kick that "came out of nowhere"? Justice is at ease in people's hearts. You two are optimistic, whether it's Aniwar or Huo Yuqi, their shots will be blocked by me.

Huo Yuqi walked to the door with the ball in his arms.

"It's not a penalty. I'll punish you, don't worry. He put his hand on my shoulder and walked resolutely to the penalty spot.

What is he going to do? One thought slipped through my mind: give up the shot. It's a text I learned in primary school, and one of the few moments in the classroom where football is mentioned, about Liverpool striker Fowler deliberately missing a misjudged penalty during the game. We were so impressed by such a noble behaviour that Xianxian had told me that if he were faced with a similar situation, he would learn from Fowler and take the initiative to miss a penalty that he shouldn't have got. So, for a long time, Fowler was one of my favorite players – although I can't remember the names of a few players.

I don't know if there is this text in the current primary school textbooks. If it's gone, it's probably a good thing. Because some of its descriptions do not correspond to the facts, they are just misunderstandings caused by subjective feelings. It was Ye Ruiyang who told me about this, and I had a fight with him - children are always annoyed when something they believe in is suddenly and completely denied, even if I can't produce any evidence other than the authority of the textbook. Millet was on my side that day, and I guess he didn't support me out of the facts. But the two of us lost in front of Ye Ruiyang, and we didn't have a temper at all: he found a video of that year's game. The text is right, Fowler did have a sportsmanlike attitude to signal to the referee that the penalty did not exist. But that's all there is to it, Fowler clearly wanted to score when he took the penalty – not "deliberately kicking the ball squarely to Seaman's chest", but to the right with a clear angle. This kind of shot is not "easy for any goalkeeper to save", as long as the goalkeeper guesses the wrong direction, it will be scored. After his team-mates scored from the spot, Fowler also enthusiastically joined in the celebration. What's more, Ye Ruiyang took out the news that Fowler was interviewed many years later, and the person concerned conclusively said that he did not deliberately give up the shot, but simply failed to score.

I'm depressed. It's not that I can't accept the truth at this time, but I just feel very aggrieved to lose to my tablemate, even though it's a trivial matter. However, instead of celebrating triumphantly after the "victory" over me and Millet, he defended Fowler, probably to lighten the mood. He believes that it is his duty to score in punishment, and it is understandable that he will not score in punishment. It was a crucial game, and thousands of their own fans were looking forward to scoring a goal, and they might have chosen to score the ball after a "battle of ideas". Fundamentally, the ball was a mistake by the referee, not a fake fall by the player himself. Hypocrisy! I shouted at him unceremoniously, seemingly with a very righteous spirit, but in fact about nine points were unconvinced after the "defeat". How can you be wrong? Taking something that you know shouldn't be your own, what's the difference between a thief! These words made Ye Ruiyang speechless, morality is a big stick that works, but I am afraid that what I was concerned about at that time was not fairness and justice itself at all.

"I've also studied 'Refuse to Shoot', but I don't really know what Fowler was trying to kick the ball in. But I was really puzzled at the time, why didn't Fowler kick it into the sky? If you can't do it, you'll kick it out the door. There have been players who have done this, but it has not been included in the text. In short, it's easier to not kick in than to kick in, so when I was a kid, I would find the text a little weird. Ah, Amagi, don't look at me like that, I'm not talking about you. ”

"Nothing. I'm to be scolded. Team Ke, don't learn from me in the finals. ”

"Just a little bit. It's also strength to be able to run out of opportunities. ”

Huo Yuqi really lost the ball. I misjudged the direction and the ball rolled off the left sideline, far from the post, and there was no possibility of a follow-up shot; It's also fast, giving no one a chance to catch up with it. "Any goalkeeper can save this 'gentle' penalty without much difficulty", is the description in the textbook. And Huo Yuqi's shot, even if there is no goalkeeper, there is no probability of scoring.

Azzie is really good. Even if he just turned around and left after the punishment and didn't say anything, I knew what his actions meant. Perhaps he was educated by his father, who was a police officer, since he was a child, and made honesty a permanent creed in his life; Perhaps it is because he and Ming Ming have been opponents for many years, and their sympathy for each other has made him always believe in defeating his rival in an upright way. I didn't ask him, maybe it wasn't a problem for him, he wasn't a person who meant to use something as a pass—even though we ourselves might all think that something was okay.

If he did kick in, I don't think I would blame him much, and he was probably the only one who could blame him.

"Actually, the penalty that I scored against you in the first year of junior high school, I think it's a bit far-fetched. But I was a little scared, after all, the seniors were in a hurry, and the captain designated me to be punished, and I didn't dare to punish me. But now I'm the captain, and I'm much braver. ”

This is what Azzi said to me afterwards. Mr. Lu Xun once threw out a question in that article: I don't want to lie or be beaten, what should I do?

Be brave, be brave.

"Huo Yuqi, are you sick? Are you pretending to fuck you? "A member of the Polytechnic team rushed up unexpectedly and hit his captain, and there were words in his mouth, to the effect that what the hell are you thinking that you are a little angel who is icy and jade, and you are such a virgin, I don't know if we are lagging behind now, and you are still playing handsome here, I will go to you...... Then the men on both sides went up together and pulled them apart. Aqi didn't return it, just let his teammates scold. Aniwar and Li Tiancheng firmly guarded the captain behind him, while several other classmates kept persuading their companions. Judging from the eyes, I am afraid that there is more than one person who is dissatisfied with the captain. And we, in addition to helping to pull the rack, don't express too much gratitude for Azie's behavior - this is likely to exacerbate the conflict on the field, even if the conflict is between opponents. Fortunately, we don't have any "smart people", and we didn't use "magic calculations" to repay Agi's fairness.

"I was going to tell the referee that it wasn't a penalty, you really didn't touch me. But...... I just didn't do that. I'm sorry. ”

"No need to apologize, I understand."

The referee didn't pull out the cards in the end. It is estimated that it is rare to see the infighting between teammates that broke out directly on the field. After blowing the whistle at the end of the first half, we went back to the dressing room with our own hearts. The polytechnic coach nodded to him when he saw Azie coming over, perhaps affirming his behavior. Seeing this scene, my hanging heart was slightly relaxed.

What if something like this happens to us? What if my teammates were still holding on to the moral bottom line that was considered "a little lower" even though they were down on aggregate? Am I going to be angry? I don't know, I don't know what to do until it happens. Escaping the question, everyone sat quietly in the dressing room until the bell rang urging us to get back to the field. After 30 minutes, the attribution of the second ticket to the final will be decided. We have to work together, have no distractions, and win the game with dignity. That's the last belief we had before we played, and we're getting closer to making history.

However, by the time I returned to the locker room, nearly an hour had passed. The dressing room will be in a low cry with a far more terrible dead silence than at half-time.

No one uses meanness as a pass, but why does nobility still become the epitaph of the noble?

In the second half, Azi put on an absolutely wonderful individual performance. "It was probably the best half of the game I played in my junior high school, even though it was just under fifteen minutes. I want to win, I want to get to the final, and I know that is what every teammate thinks. In a way, it's right for you to be angry, I'm making my own decisions, and I'm doing it as a captain. No apologies, really. I understand you. So I want to give my best performance and help everyone win the game. Didn't we reach an agreement at half-time? The coach told us about it. Oh, Koco, you've made great saves, and you're the best goalkeeper in the entire Mayor's Cup. You're in luck, though. ”

Azie: That's right. He had two near-perfect shots in the second half, one that I saved to hit the post and the other that spun straight into the corner, but was ruled out for a foul on a team-mate. Li Tiancheng also had a close-range push, the angle was actually very tricky, there was no problem with his archery, I used my instinctive reaction to stretch my foot to block. We defended to the extreme, but it was becoming unsustainable under Polytechnic's overwhelming attack. Yan Xi fell into stealth in the front court, and we could barely control the ball, so we couldn't deliver him cannonballs. Under the condition of continuous oppression, the straw on the camel's back is more and more, and the "bad" smell can slowly be smelled by everyone.

But who would have thought that what would happen first would be something much more terrifying than conceding a goal or even being eliminated?

It all started with a long ball from the back, where Aniwal got the ball and headed it to Azzi on the wing. The ball flies in the air, and it is Miller who competes with the captain of the Polytechnic team. There is still a gap in height, and during the jump, Azzi's hand inadvertently hit Miller in the face. The referee didn't blow it. The ball fell behind the two and they continued to grab. Mi Le, who suffered a loss, poked the ball with his foot from behind, and there should be some movement in his hand, I didn't see it clearly, really, Mi Le himself said that there was. It's not very big, at least not very hard. The ball missed, Azzi lost his center of gravity a little, and the man fell forward, and Millet, who tripped him behind him, also lost his balance.

"I was hit in the face and it hurt. I've been beaten before, and it's also a face, and it's much more ruthless. The adults hit me, but I didn't fight back. This time, maybe because you're a classmate, I'm annoyed. I know for sure now that you didn't mean it, but it was in a hurry, not to mention that we were under too much pressure. I'm not making excuses, really isn't. I knew I was wrong and wouldn't dare anymore. But I really, really don't mean to be bad, and I don't want anything to happen to anyone. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'd rather this happen to myself than let it happen to you. ”

Miller is my best friend, and that's undeniable, and you can think I'm speaking for him: I don't think it was a foul, the yellow card didn't reach, there were a dozen of them every game. If only there was a video, we would be able to judge the nature of Millet's movements in the same way that Fowler really intended. Luckily, there was no footage, and no one had the courage to watch what happened a few seconds later.

It's a mediocre foul that leads to disastrous results, but it doesn't excuse oneself because there is no malice. Just as Azzi fell forward, the Polytechnic player who had quarreled with him in the first half rushed to help him fight for the ball. It was too late to close their feet, and they bumped into each other.

Heart-rending screams. It's hard to believe that someone as suave as Archie could make such a creepy sound. The referee hurriedly blew the game to stop, and everyone was frozen in place by the terrible sound. After getting up, Azzi's teammates waved their hands like a shipwreck survivor who saw a shipwreck, and called everyone like crazy. And Millet got up and just glanced at it, and like a frightened little animal, he knelt on the ground with his head in his arms and cried.

I've known each other for two years, and Millet has cried several times in front of me, but I've never seen him break down, and it's this kind of completely destroyed collapse. I'd almost forgotten that people fall into this kind of despair, even if something like this happened to me. I locked myself in my room that day, curled up into a hedgehog in the shadows of the lower bunk. My sister was outside the door, probably kneeling on the ground, crying and banging on the door, begging me infinitely to let her in, until at last her voice was hoarse, as if she had poured tons of sand, and all her dignity was squeezed to the ground. I thought I had escaped this dark haze in junior high school, but it ghostly came back to my best friend after I had spent most of the three years.

But it was Azzi who was hurt. More than one person cried and heard it in a trance. But he was the only one who was suffering physically. How do I describe the pain? I didn't know that I hadn't experienced the smell of a broken bone, and a dislocation was enough to break me. I don't know how to describe this horrific twist. Mr. Huang told Mr. Fujino that he changed the human anatomy diagram for Lu Xun. Mr. Fujino said that the painting is beautiful, but the real thing is not like this. And what I saw must be less like the human body than the picture drawn by Mr. Lu Xun. Being injured like this is completely beyond the boundaries of junior high school students' imagination.

Although there were stretchers and school doctors on the sidelines, ambulances were available. Everyone stopped on the track of the stadium, almost all of them supporting each other, like a flock of seagulls standing on the reef and waiting stupidly, the sun willfully and chaotically wrapped and kneaded us all. Millet fell into my arms, stood for less than a minute before he could stand unsteadily, gradually squatting, and finally uncontrollably falling to the ground, covering his red eyes with his elbows. And the ambulance is still not fucking coming, and each of us is ordering ourselves not to look at it and not to think about it, but our eyes and hearts are still not avoiding. Damn, it's ridiculous that Azie is lying like this waiting for an ambulance. As for me, I can't do anything, I can't help Archie or Millet, I just comically cover my body next to him, covering him like an eagle catching a chicken, afraid that he will see it again and fear that the opponent will retaliate. Come at me. I don't fight back, I don't fight back. I thought so.

But it was Aqi who was injured, and he was the one lying on a stretcher waiting for an ambulance.

"No. 3 in a middle school, violent foul, red card."

After Azzi was picked up, the referee resumed the game, and the first thing he did was to pull out the card symbolizing the capital punishment to Miller, who was still lying on the ground. It's over. Even if I make it to the finals, Miller won't be able to be by my side and fight alongside me. But I didn't think of this at the time, and I still replay that terrifying moment in my brain from time to time.