"Mr. Huang, can we ask you a question?"

"Of course, let's say it."

"Why do some people do it when they know that something is doomed?"

"'Do it when you know you can't do it'? That's a great question. It depends. Some people may just be reckless and ignorant, unable to really see things as they are, and have not thought independently about the consequences of doing so. But some people are different, after understanding the price they have to pay, they still feel the need and responsibility to do it, and the meaning of that thing to him is beyond any interests, success or failure, gains and losses, and cannot be measured by the so-called reason or emotion. In other words, it is his life that guides and urges him to be steadfast and desperate to go somewhere, and in this way, he also finds the value of his life. As a result, he was able to accept that no matter how hard he tried, he might be the result of nothing, and he was willing to bear the suffering and torture that others could not avoid.

"However, it is important to be clear that such a decision must be made after independent and deliberate consideration, and to be able to take responsibility for one's own choices. A person's choices affect not only himself, but also everything around him. Recklessly and fanatically throwing oneself and others behind can cause harm to everyone, including oneself. Moreover, sometimes seemingly rock-solid beliefs do not necessarily stand up to scrutiny. Always reflect on yourself, and you must confirm whether the goal is so worth the effort. Joseph Heller once wrote, 'Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for.' ”[1]

"So, teacher, compared with what I just said, if something has a high chance of success, we are willing to work hard for it, strive for self-improvement, and never give up halfway, but it has a certain risk, and we also see it, should we stick to it?"

"You two seem to have something to say. If you have any problems, just say it, don't beat around the bush. Teacher Huang smiled, hugged his arms to his chest, and saw our careful thoughts. The June sun shines through the glass, beating warmly and rhythmically with the shadows of the greenery in front of the office window.

The final was postponed to late June, a full month later than before, and it was said that it was the result of Azzi's injury. His operation went quite smoothly, but according to Mingming's father, it will take a few months to return to normal walking, at least until the beginning of the third year of junior high school before he can put aside his crutches. The best news should be that it will not affect his later life. The impact of this incident is greater than we think, and it is not just one or two people who bear the pressure. It is said that the organizing committee and parents were afraid that such an accident would occur again before the primary high school entrance examination, and it was also to let the students devote themselves to the outpost preparation for the high school entrance examination, and after repeated negotiations, the event was postponed to after the exam. This is not surprising, after all, exams are the most important part of school life, and other things have always to make way for them. At that time, Miller had several nightmares, saying that he dreamed that Aqi's biogeography only scored 17 and 16 points respectively, and in the end, when he filled in the high school entrance examination, he was just a few points short and did not get into the middle school he wanted to attend. The first time I dreamed of it, Miller cried, cried and woke up, and scared me a lot when she climbed out of bed and came to me. This was probably Millet's worst nightmare.

We often visited Azie on Fridays or Saturdays, and at first we were embarrassed a few times, but then we gradually relaxed, talked and laughed like friends, played with his crutches, and watched Zhao Benshan's sketches several times according to his proposals. I still remember that he joked that he wanted to change the crutches into a stretcher and let us carry him to the exam, so that the smart IQ could completely occupy the high ground. But...... Such a description is somewhat frivolous, and the truth may be much heavier, but Azzi did not tell us at the time. I found out a few years later why he didn't let any of his friends come to see him on the day of the surgery – he cried for a long, long time, not because he was afraid, but because it hurt. It hurts so much that I can't eat, I can't sleep, let alone read and study, it's impossible. Maybe Mu Zheng also experienced it, this was the only positive thing he thought of that day.

And what about us? I can only go around in the periphery of this kind of pain, and I can't really experience and share it at all. All we encounter are illusory nightmares, and the situation of others is no different from hell.

As the days went on, we piled ourselves into the biogeography lecture notes, numbing ourselves with test papers and back-to-back tests. The exam was held at our school, and the day it arrived was uneventful. We didn't suffer from insomnia, we didn't have much anxiety, and we went to the sink at the end of the corridor to wash our clothes before the exam. Kneading, rubbing, twisting, over and over again, splashing everywhere, without a trace of expression on the face. After hanging each pair of shorts and each little sock on the balcony one by one, we picked up our bags and went out without hurrying. There is nothing worth describing the whole process, it is just an ordinary afternoon that will be repeated countless times in life, and there is no wave after the bell rings, and it does not seem so solemn and sacred.

And a week before the exam, something heartbreaking happened. In the early morning, Miller opened the long curtains, and the sun shone on our eyes, as if orange juice had pierced our eyes. At that time, we didn't know what was happening in the girls' dormitory diagonally across from us under the rising sun as usual. My sister told me that she was our primary school girl, one level below me, only in the first year of junior high school. Just wonder, I'll know her name. Xianxian may have met her, after all, he worked as a health checker and eye exercises, and knew a lot of people. We were uncomfortable for a long time, and we still wandered under that building, counting layer by layer, counting as we went—we couldn't stay, because we felt like someone was watching us. In fact, this gaze may also be a kind of protection. And the most terrifying thing is that we really counted, this dormitory building does have seven floors.

What have we done and what can we do?

The primary and secondary exams end in mid-June, and the final exams are still three weeks away. We continue to prepare for the upcoming finals, and the third and fourth place races start a week earlier. The Colonel won 3:2 against the High School Affiliated to the Polytechnic University, Shi Zhenhua took the lead, Aniwal equalized with a header, and then Li Tiancheng won a single goal, and his calm push scored to end the first half with a 2-1 lead. After that, the foreign colonel was replaced by Yin Rirong, and after returning from injury, he tore through the defense twice with a somewhat unreasonable speed, first scoring a goal himself, and then creating a free-kick in a good position. Pu Yun's shot hit the underside of the crossbar, and Yoon Il Young added the ball in the scuffle in front of goal. With a brace and a bronze medal, substitute Ah Rong said goodbye to the Mayor's Cup in his usual silence and Jiang Yuan a year later.

We didn't go to the site. Polytechnic classmates may be a little sad that they didn't earn a medal for the injured captain. The only consolation is that Aniwal scored the 10th goal, although he failed to break Mu Zheng's record, but basically locked up the golden boot this season, unless Qiao Li, who is second in the scorer list, can stage a "big four" in the final. Polytechnic still has a lot of opportunities to continue to achieve better results under Aniwal's leadership next year.

But Azie didn't have a chance. We have to train more diligently to be worthy of the opportunities he has given us. It seems like luck has always been good, we have had a couple of postponements and we have all got the results we wanted. After a full month of delay, our wounded were given ample time to recuperate. Except for Xiao Qi, who was suspended because of the red card, after more than half a year, we have a neat lineup. Miller's red card was cancelled as desired, and in a way, the organising committee also wanted to revoke it - "bad impact", and they were willing to believe that it was an accidental foul rather than a violent foul, and to show the truth to everyone, and it is indeed the truth. Yan Xi's waist and Xuexue's nose are also slowly getting better, and the latter is still wearing his mask, saying that he is used to it, and it has cost a lot of money. The money was earned by himself, so he was naturally reluctant to wear it, so he simply wore it all the time. He didn't say how he earned it, but maybe he could make a lot of money by putting a hat in a square or underground passage and playing the guitar for an afternoon - if he didn't get kicked out.

What's even more gratifying is Mu Zheng. He was now surprisingly thin, and his plump face was now skin tightly taut to the bone, reminiscent of a thin, stretched drum skin. The outline of his body had been cut in half, like a sketch that had been repeatedly revised, and the lines were still shallow.

His shooting skills did not deteriorate due to his illness, although he still trained and recovered alone, and the movements he could make were extremely limited, but as long as his feet touched the ball, the feeling of shooting naturally cheered me up. Before long, his forehead would be sweating slightly, and he would have to take a break and wipe the long-sleeved liner he still wore in June. Maybe it's too hot, maybe he's focused and positive, and the beads of sweat that glitter in the light are healthy, no longer cold sweat from pain, and no longer damp when he can't move under the covers.

'I have this hunch that a minute or two before the end you will be our last ace and score a last-second winner that doesn't make any sense. Then you are like a hero of the world, wearing colorful holy clothes, stepping on seven-colored auspicious clouds, running indulgently on the green field, and your whole body is covered with sunshine. ”

"You Stephen Chow has seen too much, right? How about letting Xuexue sing you a piece of "Shaolin Kung Fu is Good" next time? ”

"No, don't, I want to live two more days. Really sing, if you don't wait for Xu Mu to do it, everyone will blow my head up! ”

I really don't want to leave. Although I don't seem to have always liked football as much as my peers and saw it as my dream (although none of us really wanted to be a professional footballer), it was the jokes and jokes between training sessions that made me so attached to the land and my body running around it.

However, Mu Zheng may still be far from the state of the last game. We both practiced a couple of times individually with the goalkeeper looking for a quick counter-attack from the striker, like we did in the first game (maybe I was better and more accurate than before, my passing was getting better and better), but he couldn't catch up once, so he had to turn around in embarrassment and give my pass a thumbs up. If you really want to play, either we have a big lead or we are ready for a penalty shoot-out. Maybe it will turn out to be true, the stadium is infinite and has all the possibilities, and Mu Zheng proved it with his beating heart in his life off the court.

With less than a week to go until the final, the question of whether he could appear on the pitch stumped the other person. Because of this, Xuexue came to ask me and Miller to intercede for him. Perhaps it was another impact of Azie's injury, Xuexue's mother made it clear to the coach that she didn't want her son to continue playing, although he repeatedly told his mother that his injuries were all healed and he would pay attention to safety on the field, but his mother's attitude was so categorical.

"I can't make sense with my mother, and my father doesn't say anything, so now I can only count on the two of you. You're Dad's favorite student, so help me and let me do whatever I want in the future. ”

"Is your nose really okay?"

"Really, it's been two months. If you don't believe it, go to the hospital again for a check-up! And I'm going to keep wearing the mask, it's going to be fine. Please, the last battle is over, you should go to the field to fight! Mu Zheng finally came back, how can you leave me alone in the stands? ”

"Isn't Xiao Qi also in the stands? You're not alone. Okay, just kidding. We both went after school. ”

So Mi Lezhen and I went to Mr. Huang's office and thought of a set of rhetoric in advance.

"Hmm...... So, teacher, can you allow Xuexue to play in the finals? "I showed my cards with some trepidation.

Teacher Huang smiled, seemed angry and funny, and shook his finger at us.

"Ke Peiwei, Miller, you two have grown your skills, and you will set up a trap for the teacher? It's not a small amount of courage! ”

It didn't sound like he was angry, but he thought it was a little funny. But the two of us still didn't dare to ask any more questions, and shrugged our shoulders as if we had made a mistake and were waiting for the teacher to reprimand us.

"Why didn't he say it himself? At a young age, he also learned to intercede, he really has him! Mr. Huang got up from his seat and pretended to shave our hair hard, more like the kind of action that the elders care for the younger ones.

"Teacher, it's my fault. Don't scold them, if you want to scold me. The door outside the language group creaked open, and Xuexue came in from behind, like an electric mouse.

"I didn't want to scold them, but you, don't you have a mouth? Don't know what to say for yourself? Teacher Huang put on a gloomy face. To be honest, I haven't seen much of a teacher training his own children at school, in front of his classmates.

"I know it's wrong. Teacher, I'm not supposed to be clever. "Obedient, I don't know and think this is a very smart, well-behaved and sensible child - in fact, my heart is indeed like this.

But maybe you shouldn't watch the play, Mr. Huang is not happy, isn't there no chance to learn like this?

"Teacher, just forgive him. That's all we get. It has a history of more than 100 years, and it is the first time that the junior high school has reached the city's finals. "Still Miller was quick to react, speaking before I could think of opening.

"I figured it out, teacher. I understand why Mom won't let me kick anymore, and I don't want to worry you anymore. Like you just said to them, I thought for myself. I know it's risky to be on the pitch, and I know you're going to be hard if I get hurt. But I've grown up. I can protect myself and I can protect others. Someday, I'm going to live on my own. I'm no longer the kid who howls and cries at the sound of the wind and grass, and I'll never wake up everyone on the floor again. Forgive me. ”

"Grown up? When you grow up, you learn to ask people to find relationships? Well? Teacher Huang's eyes swept over him, sweeping him shorter.

"No, teacher, Miller and I are voluntary! No, spontaneous! Xuexue never approached us! "I'm busy playing rounds.

"No, Captain, don't lie for me. You can't make mistakes again and again. Teacher, I've told you all my thoughts. As in the book you like to read, 'The mark of an immature person is that he is willing to die heroically for a cause, and the mark of a mature person is that he is willing to live humbly for a cause.'" It's not that dangerous, it's not that great—at least it's not worth the life. But I want to play. I will not die for this, nor will I become lowly, but will live heroically. ”

"Good boy, will you still memorize this sentence? Did you still make a draft before? Looking at the rattle-like head of Xuexue, Teacher Huang still laughed, "Do you remember the three chapters of our covenant?" Don't call dad when you're studying at school, call your teacher. But we have neither classes nor studies now, what shall you call them? ”

"Ah, Daddy." Xuexue's hands trembled a little, as if he heard the sound of hope as the sun rolled the green leaves.

"Actually, I've been waiting for you to come and tell me about it. Now that you have your choice, go ahead unwaveringly and accept whatever the outcome is without regrets. Teacher Huang patted Xuexue's head and looked at us with a smile, "Son, I'll reluctantly go and talk to your mother." ”

We almost didn't cheer in the office, jumping and jumping in the hallway when we went out. The moment the wish is granted, the child will be so happy that he wants to lose the effect of gravity, throw himself high into the air, and crumple every cloud into a ball of colorful marshmallows.

"So happy, what's the matter?" Around the corner, we almost bumped into Yue Yin and Lao Ye head-on. They each carried a large bundle of posters, which were rolled up in a long way, like the spears of medieval knights. We immediately passed on the good news that Xuexue was able to appear. "That's great, this big deal was not in vain!" Yue Yin said, snapped his fingers, threw his bundle of posters on Lao Ye, and then calmly opened them one by one as if taking clothes from the hanger, and showed us a good look. Boss Yue's "combat effectiveness" is so strong that he not only made seven posters in ten days, but also applied for funds from the Association Management Association to print posters, and presented them all in front of us. "It is as fast as the wind, its Xu is like a forest, the invasion is like fire, it is not moving like a mountain, it is difficult to know like a cloud, and it is like a thunderstorm", the six sentences from "Sun Tzu's Art of War" were made into six posters, each of which has the figure of a squadron member. Yan Xi, Mi Le, Luca and Xiao Qi loomed among the wind and lightning and flint, Ye Ruiyang, He Mingming, Li Baichuan, and He Honghui's mobile Great Wall were strong and impregnable, and the attack combination led by Mu Zheng, Le Ben and Huang Minxue jumped under the raging fire, and the immovable surrounded by mountains naturally belonged to me, Zhao Rui, and Xu Mu wearing sunglasses. On the one that is "difficult to know like yin", Mr. Wang confidently meditates on the sidelines with his chin in his hand, strategizing and winning thousands of miles. The "thunderous" Thunderball are a few other juniors - ashamed to say, we haven't given them a minute of playing time in pursuit of results, but they have hardly missed any of our training sessions or games. Even when they knew they didn't have any chances, they stayed with us until the last second of every game. This is a time when time (especially personal time) is more precious than anything else, they are always giving and sacrificing, and posters and medals are far from enough to thank the uncomplaining behind the perseverance.

Although we have always known that being "polite is enough, there is no need to be enthusiastic" to Yue Yin, we still can't suppress the deep emotion in our hearts when we see her engrave everyone into these pictures full of memories. In fact, she should have added herself to the poster. If she can win the championship, she also deserves that glittering medal. Maybe we can break off all the medals and put them together in one piece and give them to her? Miller and I thought about it before the game, and I'm sure it's not just the two of us who think about it. [2]

"Come on, what's this? It's a trifle. I just don't want to lose to Peng Jingbai's little girl. You have to hold your opponent down before the finals start! Don't give them a chance! "Boss Yue is very humble in front of her great achievements. She showed us the posters posted on the WeChat public account of 54 Middle School, and there were only two. One is a group photo of their family, with the inscription "One hundred generals are one heart, three armies work together"; The other, with a slightly stronger design, is a star shining in the brilliant Milky Way, and behind the dazzling blue-blue light is the outline of a wolf's head, which happens to be the wolf's colorful and twinkling eyes. The theme of the latter poster is "Sirius, the star that never goes out", and our response to it is a simple two-word word - "will hunt". "Rendezvous hunting, metaphor for war between the two sides", the dictionary reads. And the seventh poster is not about us and our opponents, but of horsemen on white horses and hunters in velvet hats. They meet under the deep blue night sky, like friends reunited after a long absence, waiting for the battle to come in the silent night. In the dense forest in the distance, it seems that the green eyes of the wolves can be found, as if the ghost fire is fluttering and burning. The muskets on the horsemen's backs and the bows and arrows in the hunters' hands were invariably aimed at a faint star in the distant night sky.

The chasers took on the coyotes, and the final battle finally began. It is not yet known who the hunter and the prey are, but the sea of summer constellations will witness in the distant universe the struggle of those of us who are small and ephemeral in the distant universe for goals that are neither noble nor lowly.

Will hold the bow like a full moon, look northwest, shoot the wolf! [3]

[1] Joseph Heller, Catch-22.

[2] Qian Zhongshu, "The Siege of the City".

[3] Su Shi, "Jiangchengzi Mizhou Hunting".