You have to know that there are still people in this world who love you.

Like your parents.

Doctor I know, but I really can't stand it, I always fail, fail, fail, fail.

I have been isolated since I was in junior high school.

I'm in love with someone I shouldn't like.

He was the class president of my junior high school.

I've been secretly watching him to this day because I can't let him go.

Do you still like him?

Dislike.

There's nothing you can't put down.

I...... Wondering why the class isolated me.

Go ahead.

When I was very young, I was very strange and could hear ghosts talking, and at that time, the class president liked another girl. The girl had changed schools, and he turned to me and confessed.

And then what about you

I agreed.

But the ghost told me that the two of us were destined to have no ending, and that it had a way to make him like me all the time.

What method.

Those who can't get it are always in turmoil, and those who are favored have nothing to fear.

Zi doesn't say ghosts and gods, no wonder. The little girl was not lightly ill.

The ghost is a very beautiful girl with short white hair.

Is it the Cyra of your mouth?

It seems to be.

Cyra's name is the Angel of Despair.

I still remember the day he confessed to me, the fireworks were gorgeous, just like my love.

So you feel hopeless.

Listen to you, that boy made you cry for a long, long time.

Even despair.

The fallen angel does not exist, child. I'm an atheist first and foremost, and falling out of love isn't terrible.

Doctor, I still have a lot to say to you, do you have time?

Yes. But it's almost time for dinner.

I'll try to make a long story short.

The ghost's method is to break up his and the girl who is with him.

Every time I succeeded, I thought it was a ghost blessing me.

Because it tells me that things come at a price.

Later, the cost gradually became apparent, and the class began to isolate me, and I was not with him, but often ambiguous.

Later, in the third year of junior high school, I officially confessed to him, and he said that he had never liked a strange thing.

I was at a loss.

Why? Could it all be a bureau.

He is officially with another girl, together.

I wish him happiness.

Anyway, I started to be religious.

I have a cross on my hand.

Little girl, I've said many times, don't be religious, be an atheist. Since ghosts and gods are not good to you, then don't believe it, don't do it, it's the ghosts and gods that make you crazy, don't believe it.

But the doctor ...... Then I saw a fallen angel named Despair, Cyra.

She grew extremely beautiful, like a white dwarf.

She told me that it was all her game, and that I knew how terrible she was.

She has made me experience a lot of life and death.

So you jumped off the building, didn't you?

You have an injury on your body, on your foot and back, and as soon as you are discharged from the orthopedic department, your mother and father sent it to me for treatment.

Be.

It's time to eat, it's time to eat.

Good.

Today's meal is braised pork with carrots, and fairy soup.

Aunt Nurse is a good aunt.

Often given to me from the outside, I can buy a lot of good things with money, and even be able to play with her mobile phone.

I had a good appetite and ate a lot of food.

But when I think of him, my nose is still sore.

I graduated from junior high school in 2014, and the first sentence in my notebook, I can't forget him.

I'm used to being alone.

It's good to get used to it. That's what I thought.

It's 2020, six years have passed, and I'm trapped in hallucinations with no one to save me.

The doctor is like a rope that I have to hold onto.

I didn't grasp the rope when I was hospitalized for the first time in 2016, so I must hold on to it this time.

2020, love you love you.

The doctor arrived as promised.

His first words: Little girl, the illness is not light.

You said the class is isolating you, do you have any clues.

Yes, it was Cyra and Lucifer who told me.

The man took advantage of me.

Every time he gets tired of playing with girls, he is with me, and I stupidly think it's my personality charm.

Girl, I will send you a word, study hard, and leave this kind of person alone.

You're still young, and you still have a lot of time to work hard.

Yes, doctor.

Like you...... You have to add medicine.

No, doctor, I'm normal, I've just been through too much.

The logic and train of thought in my speech are very clear.

All right.

I still have some things to talk about later.

Good.

The whole hospital is huge.

Perhaps, angels don't exist, I touched the wound on my foot, remembering that hot afternoon, the sun shining on the windowsill and through the cracks in the trees. I called his name in my mind for six years, and if he didn't come on my birthday, I would kill myself.

I have to find a way to pretend to be a normal person and expose myself too much.

I remember the first time I was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital in the countryside, and I was tied up by Xila, and I knew it was for my good.

Later, I met a Buddhist aunt and a Christian aunt.

They're all fine, and since they've come, Cyra hasn't tormented me anymore.

Just ask me if I believe in Buddhism or Christianity.

I said, "Believe in Christ."

Because of Safavid and Ahn Quan.

They're warm, they're angels.

I remembered that when I was in high school, it was much better than in junior high school.

It seems that in 2015, a red blood moon, I stared at it for a long time.

The view of the high school is beautiful, and the art painting building is an old building. The walls were crawling with zigzag flowers, and strangely enough, they only bloomed on the top and bottom, and the middle was bare.

In spring, there are also hydrangeas and rape flowers to see.

Every spring, there is a fragrance on the high school campus, with the sourness of honey and the sweetness of flowers.

Cyra, who was looking at the introduction at the time, the fallen angel with butterfly wings, told me that I had committed a sin, called the sin of despair.

He also told me that this is my retribution, the sin of killing butterflies.

You say, you read my novel and are curious, why did you write that I pushed a person into a reservoir and drowned, in fact, it was me who was pushed, and I wanted to blend in with them, but I was pushed again and again. Until the fear of water. Near-drowning, I've experienced, I seem to have been in the water, but luckily I'm not afraid of the water. I just don't like to drink water and don't like bathing.

Have a good time with each other, don't bother me, I can't argue with you saying that I'm stupid, nicknamed, watered on chairs, trampled books, plague-like homework books. A deflated bicycle.

By the way, I'm an adult, I've achieved nothing, I'm taking the teaching certificate, I'm resisting, I wish me success.

I was still in the class group of my junior high school classmates, and it was the buckle group.

Cyra once asked me what kind of flowers I liked, and I said dodder seeds.

That was in 2018.

In 2018, I was admitted to a junior college.

Then dropped out because I wasn't very sociable.

After my birthday, I dropped out of college.

Because there's always a voice in my head.

Cyra, this angel wants you not to curse her, because it was Cyra who told me how that squad leader used me.

Although, feeling very hopeless.

My fifth sin, despair.