Chen Siping is his mother's son and his father's son, he inherited their chromosomes, inherited their genes, and was predestined by nature, unable to choose or refuse. If one day in the future, Alzheimer's disease will appear in him, Chen Siping is not surprised at all.

He turned another page.

"There are two phases of testosterone elevation in boys: the first is the sixth week of embryonic development in the womb, and the second is puberty. …… The effects of the two bursts of testosterone on the boy's brain are obvious. The first outburst made their thinking different from that of a baby girl after birth. …… In school, boys are generally more active, difficult to manage, and difficult to concentrate than girls. Nineteen out of 20 children with ADHD are boys, and four times as many boys with dyslexia and learning difficulties as girls. Psychologist Dianne McGuiness wrote: 'Education is almost a conspiracy to restrain the talents and desires of boys. ’

"Boys and girls are different, both physically and psychologically, and it is a disaster for both sexes to receive the same education at the same age, especially when teachers demand them with rigid standards, select them, praise or criticize them, and boys' and girls' schools are better choices for children. The difference between the sexes caused by testosterone objectively exists and is never subject to human will, unfortunately, many times, we are blinded by the so-called 'equality between men and women'. Equality refers to equality of opportunity, not equality of form or result, car mechanics do not exclude women, but women rarely choose car repair as a career, this result does not mean that women are discriminated against, they have to get under the chassis of the car to raise their eyebrows, I think no more radical feminists will deny this. ”

Chen Siping was more sure than ever that his father was talking about himself. His brain development lagged behind his peers, and he bumped all the way from kindergarten to elementary school, from elementary school to junior high school, had few friends, and grew up with criticism and accusations. He subconsciously longs for affirmation, especially from his father, because his father is not a faker, and his affirmation is a real affirmation, not a hypocritical deception from the mouth of a teacher or a mother. This is a paradox, because his father does not falsify, so he never gets his affirmation, and the closest one of them, he accidentally copied a painting, and my father looked at it for a long time and said "it is a good drawing". Chen Siping has always kept this sentence in his heart, but this is the only time, he has no talent for painting, and he has no patience to continue on this road.

He remembers one time when his father talked about his mother's cooking skills, Chen Siping's grandmother, "Many people think that my mother's food is the most delicious, but I don't think so, the chef's skills in restaurants are much better in many cases." Now Chen Siping can understand what his father is expressing, his mother's food is the most delicious, and the focus is on "mother" rather than "delicious", but his father stripped away the emotional factor, objectively evaluated his mother's cooking skills, and came to such a conclusion. Why did he do it? He was justifying himself, it was a "physiological absence" and had nothing to do with morality!

"The U.S. Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Psychiatry divides personality disorders into three categories and nine types, and the 'borderline type' is one of the 'nervous, emotional, and emotional disorders', which is manifested as 'emotional impulsiveness and instability in interpersonal relationships'. It should be noted that 'there is no absolute standard for distinguishing between standard behavior and pathological behavior.' And the concept of standards also depends on different social relations. Personality disorders cannot be judged without ignoring cultural elements, and what is 'normal' in one culture is likely to be 'abnormal' in another.

Some scholars attribute the development of borderline disorder to a lack of loving education...... Patients with borderline disorder said in a questionnaire that they were significantly more dissatisfied with their parents than healthy people. They describe their parents as harsh, ruthless, hot-tempered, cowardly, and commanding. Of course, these findings cannot be fully trusted. If people with borderline disorder say that they were beaten more than others in childhood, this physical violence can be seen as a real cause of the disease. But there is also a possibility that these patients with borderline disorder have been disobedient and unfilial since childhood, so their parents have taken great pains to force these wild children to comply. Parents will get angry when their children refuse to change their ways. When warnings don't work, they move on to tougher educational measures. For children who are physically and mentally healthy, it is not necessary for parents to do this. In other words: harsher and harsher methods of education are not the inevitable cause of obstacles.

So why? Heredity plays the most important role. Generations of psychologists and psychiatrists have made this mistake by looking at the factor of 'education' in isolation, creating the illusion that poor education is primarily responsible for the development of borderline disorders. We often hear the saying that every child is an angel, but unfortunately, they are not all and are not always angels. ”

……

The long night was long, and Chen Siping had no intention of sleeping, and Chen Siping felt scared. The father wrote down his thoughts nakedly, he seemed to be standing in front of Chen Siping, spread his hands, smiled and said: "That's what I think, I'm such a person, whether you are disappointed or resentful, this is me, completely exposed to you, not to hide it, not to hide it, and not to disdain to cover it up and conceal it." I tried to endure the worldly life, but in the end I failed, so I abandoned my wife and children, left for a long place, and started my life alone. Unfortunately, you are not important, people will die eventually, and my life is more important than you before death comes. ”

His nose was sour and the corners of his eyes were moist. Is it to pity the mother, or to lament what happened to you? There are some, but not all. In fact, he does not resent his father, everyone has the right to choose their own life, there is no kind of life that is "right", "necessary", the forest is big and there are all kinds of birds, and his father is just the special one.

That night, Chen Siping thought a lot. Why did a father have to run away from home in such an extreme way as to get the life he wanted? Was he wrong? Who will judge right from wrong? There is only one life, we are all insignificant ants, the hurried passers of this world, no one has the right to blame, all encounters are accidental, all encounters are inevitable, and finally, when death comes, you can only face it alone, and nothing can provide even the slightest comfort.