Dongfang Siyi watched Han Shuai and Wang Jing leave the office, and received a few more parties to the case, after he was done, he looked back at Xu Ming and asked, "Secretary Xu, how do you feel about this case?" ”

Xu Ming said with emotion: "This pair is really not easy, I think they understand it thoroughly this time, and it can also be said that they are reconciled as before, these two are actually very compatible." Master, I have to admire your old man, it can be said that you are appreciative. ”

During the trial of Han Shuai and Wang Jing's second divorce case, Xu Ming was a first-hand witness from beginning to end, and he learned a lot of things that were not in the textbook from Dongfang Siyi's handling of this divorce case, and sincerely admired Dongfang Siyi's persistence and patience in handling this divorce case.

Dongfang Siyi's meticulous analysis of each case made Xu Ming deeply feel that as a judge specializing in hearing civil cases of marriage and family, he must not only have patience and carefulness far beyond ordinary people, but also have the ability to be familiar with folk customs and have a nuanced insight into human nature. If you want to handle civil cases well, you can only get rid of the disease by accurately taking the pulse and prescribing the right medicine like Dongfang Siyi.

Dongfang Siyi is still very optimistic about the understanding of this apprentice who has been with him for more than three years, and while handing Xu Ming the dossier materials that he has read twice, he wants to listen to Xu Ming's specific analysis and views on this case: "You can summarize this case, talk about it, from this case, what meaningful and regular things have you realized, and what inspiration do you have for us to handle similar cases?" ”

While Xu Ming sorted out the contents of the case file one by one, he folded, trimmed and pasted the paper materials that needed to be loaded into the file before binding. After listening to Dongfang Siyi's question, he put down the work in his hand, got up and took the thermos flask, and refilled some hot water to the empty cup in front of Dongfang Siyi. Only then did he sit down, face Dongfang Siyi and said: "This case is a typical marital dispute caused by family conflicts, and its typical significance is different from other cases. ”

Xu Ming thought for a while and began to analyze: "In this divorce case, the main aspect that causes family conflicts is not the personal quality or moral problems of the family members, the four members of this family have high personal qualities and high moral cultivation, if they are individual individuals, they can be called excellent people and respectable people, such as Mr. Wang." Why do they live together, but there are all kinds of contradictions? I believe that the root cause is the inextricable contradiction between traditional lifestyles and moral standards and the needs of the individual. ”

Dongfang Siyi nodded: "The analysis is good, the thinking is very clear, you have an understanding of every character in this marriage and family dispute, and you have also seen the root cause of this divorce case, only by finding the root cause can you find the right way to solve it." ”

Xu Ming picked up Mr. Wang's letter: "Mr. Wang is a typical personality of traditional morality, an admirable and good mother, and her heart is full of love. And because when I was young, I had the personal experience of raising my children alone after divorcing my husband, and I had to play the role of a strict father, and there would be strict standards and requirements everywhere in the personal work and life of my two daughters. Similarly, for Han Shuai, who entered their family, she naturally regarded him as her own child, and had her own standards and strict requirements in her heart. Regardless of whether she said it or not, the standard is in her heart, the requirement is in her eyes, and this is objective. It is precisely because of this that Han Shuai feels an invisible pressure. There is nothing wrong with her actions, and from her side, it is also very positive, because these standards and requirements represent China's excellent traditional culture and values. ”

Dongfang Siyi said with certainty: "You are right, Mr. Wang is one of the typical examples of traditional Chinese women and a very respectable mother. Indeed, as you have analyzed, she is both a loving mother and a strict father. ”

Xu Ming paused and continued, "Let's talk about Wang Hui again. Wang Hui is also a very good woman, and the reason why she chose celibacy may be because she was negatively affected in the process of family growth. Of course, there must be some other personal reasons for this, and it is her personal privacy, which is understandable. We should be respectful and should not be judged negatively. However, she is a person who pays attention to the pursuit of personal freedom, and has her own distinct personality characteristics, and she basically will not tolerate the words and deeds of others intentionally or unintentionally encroaching on or interfering with her personal life space. This cannot be said to be her fault, because this is her personal right, and others should respect the reasonable, legal and reasonable rights that belong to her. ”

Dongfang Siyi said: "You are very insightful in the analysis of Wang Hui's character, Wang Hui does pay attention to personal freedom, and also pays great attention to the environment around her, if someone affects her personal freedom, she will be extremely disgusted and resistant, and she cannot accept any words and deeds that may infringe on her personal freedom." ”

Xu Ming went on to analyze: "Wang Jing is more positively influenced by Teacher Wang, her personality is easy-going and sunny, and she is also relatively modest. Although she also has her own independent personality, she can accept grievances in moderation. Under normal circumstances, she would not overreact, but this time, her overdose on sleeping pills could only be an exceptional event. As a good educator, this kind of character of hers is more suitable for her profession. This character of hers, and at the same time the most basic harmonious factor in family life, is the indispensable mediator of contradictions in all collectives. In life, people with this kind of character are the most popular characters. ”

Xu Ming paused, filled Dongfang Siyi's cup with water, picked up the cup and drank a few sips of water, and then continued to analyze: "Their family was originally harmonious, although the three women have different ideologies and personalities, and their respective pursuits are also different, but the family relationship between their mothers, daughters and sisters can make this objective difference disappear and dissolve into intangible. No matter how big the contradiction is, it will fall into the calm lake like a leaf, and it will not stir up a little wave. Because, the family affection between them is like a strong adhesive, and the contradictions and conflicts in life cannot tear this family affection. ”

Dongfang Siyi praised it with appreciation: "You have analyzed the characteristics of the three women of the Wang family very well, they are indeed excellent women, and they are all women worthy of the respect of others, before Han Shuai appeared, their family lived a peaceful life, harmonious and tranquil, in the words of Mr. Wang, calm like a bay of lake, without a little wave, you can't be calm." ”

Xu Ming teased himself: "Master, you often praise me for being very able to think, as one of your few apprentices at present, I can't live up to your old man." ”

Dongfang Siyi laughed: "You don't want a master on the left and a master on the right, let's get to the point." ”

Xu Ming continued to analyze: "The appearance of Han Shuai broke this balance and calm environment. It should be affirmed that Han Shuai is a professional policeman with ambition, responsibility and pursuit, and as far as I know, he also performs very well in his usual work. Strong self-esteem, competitive spirit, and won the trust of the leader, is an excellent young police officer, in some respects, he and Wang Jing's marriage combination, can also be regarded as a more perfect, rigid and soft, complementary personalities, both sides of the profession also have a high sense of social identity, can be said to be a combination with a high degree of matching. ”

Dongfang Siyi said approvingly: "You are right, Han Shuai does belong to such a situation, and his captain has said more than once that he is a workaholic. This young man is indeed good, but he is a little bad at communicating with others. ”

Xu Ming continued: "The master sees very accurately, but his shortcoming is that he is not good at communicating and communicating with people. Therefore, placing him in Wang Jing's original family, this personality will inevitably lead to contradictions and conflicts between them. Although Han Shuai also realized some problems and consciously suppressed his rigid side and avoided direct external conflicts, this was at the expense of his self-esteem, and he was a person with particularly strong self-esteem. If only one or two things cause conflicts, there will be no major problems, and if this situation often occurs, it is impossible to accept it from the perspective of his personality. The intensity of his psychological stress is inversely proportional to his strong self-esteem. It is impossible for him to suppress himself excessively, he must find a breakthrough, or a way out. ”

Xu Ming looked at Dongfang Siyi and said: "This put him in a dilemma that he couldn't extricate himself, so that he was neither left nor right, and he didn't know how to get out of this predicament." So much so that the only way he could think of was to escape, which was the fundamental reason why Han Shuai sued for divorce from Wang Jing. ”

Dongfang Siyi nodded affirmatively: "You got to the point, this is the fundamental reason why Han Shuai sued for divorce." In this environment, he could feel a kind of repression all the time, and this repression seriously hurt his self-esteem. ”

Xu Ming has his own thoughts on this case: "In the final analysis, this conflict is not a conflict between ethics and morality, but a conflict caused by differences in individual personalities and lifestyles. Therefore, the contradiction between Han Shuai and Wang Jing's original family cannot be evaluated by ethics and morality. The only way to resolve this conflict is to separate them physically and space, but Han Shuai feels that if he makes this choice, he will violate his promise, which will put him in the shackles of morality, and his pride will not allow him to make such a choice. In this helplessness, he would rather give up his love and solve it by divorce. Originally, this matter seems to be simple, but it is unsolvable, after talking to you, Mr. Wang took the initiative to find out only what she has in her hands, and only she can take out this key, and opened another door, this door gives this family a new choice, this choice is also the most reasonable and reasonable choice. The so-called key opens a lock, and the unsolvable problem will be solved. ”

Xu Ming said with emotion: "These are things that cannot be learned from textbooks, and the few years I have followed the master can be said to be the years when I have benefited the most from teaching, and it has also made me realize that just asking for knowledge from books is far from enough for a judge." Because the profession of a judge has to face a wide variety of people, they all have their own personalities, each personality is like a combination lock, only by deciphering the code in it, can we open the door in their hearts, in order to untie the knot in their hearts. ”

(Next Preview: Chapter 47: Inheritance and Conflict)