Dongfang Siyi wants to continue to acupuncture some phenomena: "I can give many such funny examples, if you are willing to listen." ”

Dream Gui posted a disappointed expression: "You're right, but I've found that there are always some different emphases on the topic of men and women. Your focus is more macro and abstract, and mine is more micro and concrete. I don't want to go into what doesn't have much of a concrete impact on me, I want you to talk to me about something interesting. I finally met you, and I want to talk about a topic I like. ”

Dongfang Siyi was a little helpless: "The difference you said is objective, and I am indeed a little embarrassed." What am I talking to you? It's certainly very inappropriate to say I love you, it's not my problem, it's not your problem. Quite simply, because there is no reason and there is no reason to find one. ”

Where did the dream return: "Give up the previous topic and don't mention it, and I didn't ask you to say this to withdraw." However, I want to discuss the latter topic with you, you say that there is no reason to say love, and you can't find a reason, I am against it, love must have a reason? ”

Dongfang Siyi wanted to explain something, but felt a sense of powerlessness: "It's not that love must have a reason, but for me as a person, I have to have a reason to convince myself of everything." ”

Where does the dream go is closely related to the topic: "Then you can talk to me, how can you fall in love with someone, can we discuss this issue?" ”

Dongfang Siyi affirmed: "Of course, we don't have a limit on what topics we want to discuss. Not only can this issue be discussed, but anything else can be discussed. ”

Where does the dream go and asks, "What kind of reason does it take to fall in love with someone?" What kind of reason do you need in your heart? ”

Dongfang Siyi replied truthfully: "You stumped me. Because I really haven't thought about such a question properly, this question seems simple, but it is actually not simple, and it is even more difficult to answer. What my profession makes me constantly examine and think about is whether there is still a relationship between two people? Now when we talk about the topic of love, from the perspective of love, feelings must be the basis of love, without feelings it is certainly impossible to produce love, and it is possible to produce love with the foundation of feelings. And the emotional foundation certainly does not arise out of thin air, just as there can be no rain without clouds. ”

Dongfang Siyi then talked about his opinion: "Then what is the feeling? I think it is a relatively stable sense of trust, dependence, and admiration formed by human individuals after they have a good impression of each other because of various forms of communication. With such an emotional foundation, it is possible to produce love. But it doesn't necessarily produce love, just like there are clouds that don't necessarily rain, just like there are gorgeous flowers that don't necessarily produce sweet fruits. Perhaps it has no fruit, or perhaps its fruit is bitter. When we appreciate the beauty of flowers, we cannot expect that it will give us another sweet fruit. ”

Where did the dream begin to look for the logical question of what he said: "According to my understanding, you have given a formula about love like this: intercourse - trust - dependence - admiration——? You can't draw conclusions later, because you think that love is a special fruit that comes out of a man's relationship with a woman, but it is not a fruit that will necessarily appear. Can I understand it that way? There are two outcomes of this formula, one is friendship and the other is love, but there is no certainty. Let's start with the first factor, are we dating like this? ”

Dongfang Siyi stroked his forehead: "Of course it is, and there is also a universal identity - netizens, which is very contemporary." I'm going to give you a copy of the concept of intercourse. The concept of communication in historical materialism mainly includes the following meanings: (1) Communication is a unique mode of existence and activity of human beings. (2) Communication belongs to the social relationship between people. (3) Exchanges originate from material production activities, and do not only exist in material production activities, but are the sum of all economic, political, ideological and cultural exchanges based on material exchanges. (4) People are the subject of communication, and both parties must not only admit that they are the subject of communication, but also admit that others are also the subject of communication, and communication is a kind of relationship between the subject and the subject mediated by the subject-object relationship. ”

"You've confused my thinking with these uninteresting concepts, and I haven't asked you for a broad definition of communication, I just want you to define this kind of interaction between the two of us." Is your answer also called Wang Gu talking about him? ”

Dongfang Siyi compromised: "Okay. Then it is realistically defined, from the point of view of the form of communication, it is a QQ netizen with the interconnected universal Internet as the medium, from the perspective of the main body of communication, it is a man and a woman, and from the perspective of the meaning of communication, it is to discuss marriage, family and love. Of course, a wide range of other topics will be discussed. Am I defining it accurately? ”

Where did the dream return a smile: "Agree to withdraw, this definition is not the kind of cold and stereotyped textbook concept, you can feel some temperature, I like to withdraw things with temperature." Now let's go through each of the things you just defined. ”

Dongfang Siyi smiled and said, "How do I feel that you are digging a pit for me?" ”

Where to Dream finally experienced the joy of mastering the initiative: "Haha, as long as there is a feeling of doubt, then the boat of trust in this friendship will have cracks, or directly fall into a state of overturning or sinking." Suspicion will be like a wall, cutting off the communication channel between two people. So, people-to-people, trust is the first problem that needs to be solved, do you think I'm right? ”

Dongfang Siyi said with certainty: "You are right, we have not established this kind of trust between us, because only the identity of ordinary netizens is defined, we can reduce the level of trust, and with this level of trust, we can discuss some interesting topics between us." There is no need to set a standard of high mutual trust, that would be unrealistic, do you agree? ”

Where to dream is no longer going around in circles: "I don't agree completely, I can only partially agree, and I don't agree partially." I agree with your definition of the relationship between netizens, and disagree with your definition of the relationship with me. Whether you believe it or not, I really fell in love with you at first sight, in fact, I can't say it, because we don't have a one-sided relationship, so let's talk about love, otherwise you have to put some theory with me, and then start to define something. I don't know why, I feel like I'm always trying to catch you, but I find that you're ready to evacuate at any moment. I may not even have the opportunity to talk to you about myself, maybe in the next moment, you suddenly disappeared, you gave me a feeling of rejecting people thousands of miles away, in fact, it is also like this, you said that we are thousands of miles apart, do you really reject me thousands of miles away? ”

Dongfang Siyi seemed to have been peeped through, and said with some embarrassment: "Little sister, can we put this controversy aside?" How about discussing the other issues first? ”

Where did the dream return to send a smiling expression again: "I'm so happy, you started calling me little sister, and you have become a warm person again." Agree with you, put the dispute aside for now, and move on to other issues. However, can you let me arrange it first? ”

Dongfang Siyi said: "Of course, ladies come first. You can say whatever you want, and I'll only be your supporting role. ”

Where did Dream Go decide to continue to take the initiative: "Well, Mr. Gentleman, I would like to discuss with you now the question of the interaction between men and women. How do you think that the interaction between men and women begins with strangeness, and then naturally produces trust, dependence, and affection, until it produces a relationship that belongs to men and women? Let's not discuss whether this relationship is friendship or love. ”

Dongfang Siyi replied passively: "I am not an expert in emotion, I can only talk about the question you raised from the perspective of ordinary people." Strangeness and familiarity are relative, from strangeness to familiarity, it must be associated with some kind of opportunity, this opportunity is either due to life, or due to work, in short, because of social activities, but not because of a certain connection with each other, or for some reason in a space, the occurrence of this opportunity will definitely have a later emotional development. There are many people who have become lifelong passers-by after passing by, while some people have become lifelong friends because of their retrospective glances. People gather by like, and things are divided by groups, which has its own reason. Because of a person's different values, personality differences, depth of thoughts, and differences in language expressions and behaviors, or become friends, or become familiar strangers, all of this has its rationality. People's social attributes and personality differences determine their own trade-offs, and thus there is emotional intimacy between people. ”

Where does the dream go to continue to ask the question: "Do you think that in the process of the development of love, the appearance is important, or the overall quality of the individual is important, that is, the values, character, thoughts, language, and behavior and other factors you just mentioned are important?" ”

Dongfang Siyi began to grasp the logic of his speech again: "Put aside the issue that was disputed just now, and we will not mention it again." I think you've made your realizations clear in two words. One is the idiom you use, 'love at first sight', which is obviously judging people by their appearance, or mainly by their appearance, right? There's also a word you coined 'love in love', which obviously refers to the influence of values and thoughts, personality and language, etc., right? You already have a clear answer yourself, whether you admit it or not, you have your own standards in your subconscious. Do you want to say that I know? I want to ask you, can you fall in love with something that I don't know what geometric shape it is? Definitely not, right? In fact, in terms of the natural and social attributes of human beings, I think these are very important. From the perspective of human nature, a man should like a woman with a good face and gentle manners, while a woman should like a handsome and dignified man; From the perspective of people's social attributes, whether it is a man or a woman, there will be certain considerations for a person's cultivation, personality, appearance, and even occupation and status, because the combination of all these factors can constitute a living person, a person living in a specific social environment. ”

"The subconscious mind is indeed a very magical existence, and when you talk about the subconscious, I have to say, and it is precisely because of my subconscious that I feel that it is impossible for us to meet. That's why I say that we are in love, and here we refer to something, and it is specific. What is outside is not important to me, what I am looking for is an interesting soul, someone who can help me, or lead me out of my lonely dreams. Exactly, I need a soul mate, I say this, I don't know if you will understand? Will there be misunderstandings? Doesn't it feel abrupt? Doesn't it seem incredible? ”

Dongfang Siyi was silent, what kind of experience would make her fall into such loneliness? She is a competent mother, and according to her own words, she has a lovely child who is excellent in every way, and her heart should be relieved, which is what a happy mother expects. She is engaged in education, as an excellent middle school teacher, in her daily work and life, whether it is her students or those parents, she should be respected, this kind of professional respect, can generally eliminate a lot of negative emotions.

Dream Gui continued to talk about his feelings: "The mechanical day-to-day work and life makes me feel like a programmed machine that can run on its own, and I know exactly what to do when and what to do without thinking, from how to start and how to end, any thinking seems superfluous." ”

She seems to have an inner anxiety: "What's even more terrifying is that there are so many times that I clearly know that my brain has deserted, my mind has wandered, and I am thinking about something that has nothing to do with teaching, but I can be in an absent-minded state, but there is no omission, not even some details of the omission, no one feels that I am in such an abnormal state, successfully completed the teaching process, because no link can arouse the suspicion of others, I just finished the whole class like that. This experience made me feel an inexplicable fear, and at that time, I thought about how I would face myself if one day I became a walking dead without a mind and a soul. ”

The cigarette that had been lit by Dongfang Siyi and rested on the ashtray and forgot to smoke burned itself, and finally turned into a wisp of ashes, which slowly cooled down and lay there quietly. Dongfang Siyi looked at this wisp of ashes, and unconsciously fell into a kind of meditation, and he seemed to hear the sound of tapping on the keyboard from a lonely space thousands of miles away......

(Next Preview: Chapter 65: Violence Ignored)