Dongfang Siyi suddenly had a big question mark in his heart: "Can you tell me about your husband?"

Where is the dream of returning to be silent for a moment: "I am a childhood sweetheart with him." He works in the field and only comes back when he has a long vacation, and two months ago he came back in a hurry for some reason, saying that he wanted to divorce me. ”

"Why?" Dongfang Siyi asked.

Remembering this incident is a little sad: "There is no reason. I don't know what kind of reason he has? He didn't tell me any reason either? ”

"The result?" Dongfang Siyi asked again.

Where does the dream go to tell the truth: "I firmly disagree, because he didn't give me a reason, so I won't agree." I'm not a puppet to be at the mercy of others, and if he wants to divorce me, he has to give me a reason. This is my right and my dignity that I must uphold. ”

Dongfang Siyi agreed and said: "You are doing the right thing, you are his legal wife, he can't say divorce his wife as in the old days, he doesn't need any reason, as long as the husband is willing, he can end the legal relationship with a woman with a letter of divorce." You're right, he's going to get a divorce and he has to give you a reason. This is your right and your dignity. The law also protects your rights and upholds your dignity. I understand, you said that you want to find a husband, this word has multiple meanings, you want to find the lost feelings, find the lost family warmth......"

Dream Gui was silent for a while before revealing the truth: "We are baby parents." ”

Dongfang Siyi was a little surprised: "There is such a thing." ”

"I may be the last victim of this feudal marriage, and he may be the last beneficiary." Hehe. ”

Dongfang Siyi guessed: "The elders of your two families must have had a deep relationship before. ”

She said frankly: "Yes, our two families are relatives. Their family is a large family in the local area, and the family is well-off. When I was three or four years old, I was beset by someone in a daze. My father has always been working in other places and is also a teacher, and my mother has been working as a farmer in her hometown in the countryside for many years. Hehe, don't laugh at it, they're also baby pros. ”

Dongfang Siyi still smiled: "I understand, your father should be enlightened, but he can't take care of the family, and your mother may have used this way of being a baby to form a closer relationship and interests with his family in order to get help and care from others." This is a guess, if you guess wrong, please forgive me. ”

"You are so smart, I only figured out later, that's the reason you said." At that time, I was about to graduate from normal school, and I heard from my mother that she told me personally, and she said that there was nothing wrong with that. After three years of teaching, he graduated from university because he was the eldest son in the family and his parents wanted him to go back to work. In addition, it is great to have a ready-made daughter-in-law like me at home, so he went home in a daze and worked in a public institution in our city. ”

She went on to talk about an episode before the marriage: "When I was in school, although we also passed some letters, we didn't know much about each other, and I hesitated to associate with someone I didn't know very well for my whole life. I proposed to break up, but I didn't hold hands before, which was kind of funny when I thought about it. This incident caused an uproar in his family, and his parents felt that the villagers were related to each other, and my remorse made his family very faceless. I was a good girl and never wanted to go against my parents' wishes, and under my mother's persuasion, I finally married him. ”

Dongfang Siyi has encountered all kinds of marriages, and now he has heard such a slightly different story: "I heard a modern version of a story for the first time, but the content is a little old-fashioned, two people who are both modernly educated, come together in this way, of course, this can only be said to be a little special in the form of combination, without the romance of the modern version." If we put aside the fact that both of them have a modern education and simply take matters into account, there will not be too many doubts. Besides, if the two parties communicate well after marriage, they can deepen their understanding of each other, and it is understandable that they are like-minded or have similar interests. It may be possible to make a good marriage, just like the way of sowing seeds is different, but if the seed is good, the fruit will be good, and the harvest will be ideal. Just because the form of the beginning does not correspond to modern concepts, we must deny that it will produce beautiful flowers and fruits. ”

I suddenly experienced a strange feeling that I had never felt before, a feeling that could go straight to my heart and comfort my soul before: "A year later, we had a daughter, and the birth of her brought me happiness, although his parents could not change the traditional stereotypes of patriarchy, but after all, he was also a modern educated person, and he liked this child very much as I did. We all focused on how to nurture our children and give them a better education, and we all had a common language and ideas. The child is very competitive, and now he is in the second year of junior high school, and he is doing well in all aspects. ”

Dongfang Siyi said with emotion: "In our cultural heritage, children are the most important element. Children place their hopes on their parents and the future of their families, the prosperity of the nation and the future of the country. We are willing to sacrifice everything for the future of our children. ”

"Yes, for the sake of the child, I gave up my preconceptions about him." He may have been hurt in some way because I had brought up a breakup, so he would often be critical of me for no reason after marriage. We used to be cold to each other, and it was the children who brought us joy again. He went to a multinational company in a foreign country for the sake of his children, and according to his ideas, he wanted to create a better material foundation for his children. ”

Dongfang Siyi affirmed: "He is a competent father. ”

Where does the dream return and says frankly: "Well, you can say that, so to speak. Just after he came home in a hurry and inexplicably offered to divorce me, because I firmly disagreed, he hurried away again. He came back less than two months later and told me that he had come home this time, and after a few days of rest, he was going to a very distant place. ”

Dongfang Siyi then asked, "Oh, where to go?" Going abroad? Labor export? Where to go? I feel that no matter where you go, safety is the first thing to consider, and earning money is secondary. I lack the spirit of adventure, so I don't approve of risk-taking behavior. ”

Where does the dream go, "Yes." It was to go to the Middle East and engage in the management of the Shishan project. His classmates said there was a great need for engineers like his major. As early as three years ago, he told me that he wanted to go, but I didn't agree, mainly because of safety reasons, after all, it is a place where war often happens. I don't think making money should come first. He wanted to go out and work for two or three years and then go home, saying that he would never go out again after earning some money, so he would open a local company and live comfortably. He wanted to ask for my opinion, and I couldn't even say why I didn't want him to go, or why I wanted him to go. I was silent and asked him to make his own decisions. ”

Dongfang Siyi advised: "If the place you go to is at war, or if it is a chaotic country, you should let him weigh the risks and benefits. If you are too risky, you should ask yourself if you can afford it, and you should also ask him to think about his family and children, and let him compare money with the importance of the so-called career and family. ”

The dream is noncommittal: "He will work with his classmates and the salary is relatively good, so he is moved." What you want me to say is exactly what I don't want to say. I told him what I should have said a long time ago, but he was very stubborn, or he was very indifferent to me, and he didn't listen to me at all. After so many years of not being together, my heart is like a stove that has been lit occasionally, and it has been a long time since the fire was turned off, so it is naturally cold, and he may be the same. I know that you are not obligated to listen to me say these words. ”

Dongfang Siyi said with some emotion: "There are always various differences between people, some people are more stable, and some people are more radical; Some people are more inert, while others are prone to impulsiveness; Some people are reckless, and some people are carefully calculated; Some people are open-minded and generous, and some people must be more generous. ”

"Yes, you see human nature too thoroughly. ”

Dongfang Siyi earnestly persuaded: "In social life is more complicated, but in family life, I think we should simplify complex issues, especially between husband and wife, or we should communicate more and talk more, unless there is no common language, that is the final outcome." Until such a tragedy occurs, it should be tried not to happen. ”

Where did the dream return to send a helpless expression: "I understand what you said, if it weren't for this, do you think this family would live to this day?" In what you said, when you can't force others, you can only force yourself. ”

Dongfang Siyi felt that this seemed a bit like a copy of Ah Q's spirit: "Ha, you are quoting my words. I did say that it was a reluctant choice, and it was never a good choice. Didn't Tolstoy famously say in his book "Anna Karenina" that happy families are all alike, and unhappy families have their own misfortunes. The Chinese saying is that every family has a scripture that is difficult to read. For the sake of children, no matter how difficult the scriptures are, they must be recited. Because if something happens, it is the children who will be hurt first, and the couple is a different story. Adults should be responsible for their own actions, no matter what the outcome is, it is self-inflicted, and there is no regret or need to be pitied. As long as he or she thinks it is worthwhile, he or she is responsible for what he or she has done, and no one else can change it. ”

One thing came to mind in the dream: "Recently, a good friend of mine had a divorce, and it was very stiff, and my heart was very uncomfortable and sad. ”

Dongfang Siyi said: "I don't know what kind of hardships your friend has, but I think it should be a choice that can only be made after all kinds of helplessness." ”

Where to return to the dream with some emotion: "She has made up her mind, and the procedures are all being done." I think no matter how hard it is, children are the first thing I want to protect. You are a mentor and friend, I don't know your specific profession, but I guess you must be a person with a legal education background, and a very rational person, your words will make people wake up from confusion, distinguish the importance of things, understand right from wrong, and make the right choice, so I trust you. ”

Dongfang Siyi said: "Ordinary people have compassion and sympathy for others, and it is also a kind of inner self-reflection and spiritual cultivation." ”

Where did the dream return, he asked faintly, "Have I also become the object of your sympathy?" ”

Dongfang Siyi said: "Of course not, you have a good family. I didn't say it was perfect, I didn't want to say anything against my heart. We strive for perfection, but there is a price to pay for perfection, sometimes a big price. Therefore, the process of pursuing perfection is also a process of experiencing pain. Therefore, accepting imperfections and enjoying them is sometimes a wise choice. ”

(Next Notice: Chapter 127: The Cost of Violence)