When Yanagi woke up, he felt that he had come a long, long way.

He looked at Dr. You tiredly, wiping the sweat from his face with some puzzlement, and asked suspiciously, "Did I fall asleep just now?" Why does it feel like you've been running a long, long run? ”

Dr. You smiled and nodded, "Yes or no." It looks like you're asleep, but on the other hand, you're in a state of wakefulness and haven't really fallen into a natural sleep as you normally would. The state of sleep you just now was achieved under the influence of my hypnosis. ”

Dr. You explains, "Simply put, I consciously brought you into a dream. From this dream, you can recall a lot of distant and vague past. And these past events are often hidden in your unconscious, like shadows in corners that you can't feel, and may interfere with your real life all the time. In professional parlance, that's the psychological effect. There are many diseases that are difficult to find out, and they may be caused by these psychological problems. Do you understand? ”

Dr. You asked Liu to leave the treatment chair and sit on the sofa in front of her, and then told him some of the conclusions of his analysis: "In your subconscious, there is a more serious role misalignment. Because of your misalignment of the roles of the people around you, you have a serious psychological identity disorder. To put it simply, it means that you lack a correct role identity for Liu Caogu, who is also your father's adopted child, and because after this role misalignment, you have not been able to get a correct understanding and have not released the emotions hidden in the subconscious in time, thus forming a psychological ambiguity and dislocation of the female role. ”

Dr. You further analyzed: "This has led to some kind of sexual dysfunction in the face of your wife. When I say this, you may not be able to understand it right away. I need to ask you some very private questions, and you can think about it seriously before answering me, but it must be a true fact or knowledge that you have determined in your heart. ”

Although Liu Mu Nan couldn't fully understand what Dr. You said, it was as if a window had opened in his heart, and it was much brighter than before. He felt like he was coming out of a dark room, and he had been in that dark room for a long, long time, so that he didn't know if there was an exit to the dark room without someone to guide him, so he couldn't get out of it on his own.

Liu Mu Nan nodded and said, "You ask, I believe in you, I will answer whatever you ask." ”

Liu Mu Nan faced Doctor You and thought of a lot of things in his heart. He knew that he had hurt the bitter girl because he couldn't do it, and he knew that the bitter girl was going crazy if she wanted to have her own children, and if she could really cure her own problems, she could also give the bitter girl an explanation.

Doctor You looked directly at Liu Mu Nan and asked, "Please tell me truthfully when you found out that you couldn't do it." No, or unwilling? ”

Liu Mu Nan said a little uncertainly: "It should be after getting married." ”

Dr. You asked, "Are you sure?" Think about it again, did you already have some problems before you got married? For example, is the attitude towards marriage happy or worried? The attitude towards the bride is love or not? ”

Liu Mu Nan thought about it seriously, and felt that there was indeed some problem, and before he got married, he found that there was no reaction in physiology. He said truthfully: "After the wedding date was set, I suddenly felt very chaotic in my heart, and I had an indescribable emotion, and I even thought about running away from home. So I don't like it, I'm worried, and I don't know what I'm worried about. In my heart, Kunu is a very beautiful woman, but I just think she is beautiful, but I don't feel anything else. ”

Dr. You nodded and said, "Now, think about when you found out that you couldn't do it, or that there was a problem. ”

Liu Mu Nan lowered his head and was silent for a while, then asked hesitantly, "Do you want to say it directly?" ”

Dr. You smiled and said, "Of course, it's straightforward. ”

Liu Mu Nan thought about it again and said: "On the wedding night, I was drunk, and I woke up after a day of sleep the next day. ”

Doctor You looked at Yanagi Nan and asked, "What do you mean, your behavior on your wedding night was deliberate?" Do you have an aversion to men and women? ”

Liu Mu Nan nodded: "Let's just say so, it's really deliberate, because you can escape some things when you're drunk." I can't tell you what it feels like to be about men and women, I don't like it, I just don't want to think about it. ”

Dr. You said, "If you think about it, when did you have this disgust? That is, you just said that you don't like it, and you don't want to think about this kind of thing. ”

Liu Mu Nan remembered: "It should be the day when the husband and Liu Caogu got married." ”

Liu Mu Nan remembers very clearly that on the day he married Liu Caogu, he kept drinking with the guests and finally got drunk. When a husband came to dissuade him, he vomited and vomited all the filth of his husband's body.

Liu Caogu was very unhappy and blamed him: "If you can drink it, you can drink it, if you can't drink it, don't drink it, if you can't drink it, you have to pretend to be able to drink, drink it out of a foreign appearance, where do you look like a man?" Although he was drunk, he clearly remembered what Liu Caogu said to him.

Dr. You asked some more questions and details before looking directly into Liu Mu Nan's eyes and saying, "Let me tell you the real reason why physiological problems often occur. In your subconscious, Aunt Liu Cao is your sister, but she is not your own sister, because she is not your father's biological like you. She is not your mother, but she takes care of you like a mother at every turn. She can't be your wife, and you have secretly wanted to be your wife, and even became a wife in your heart. ”

Liu Mu Nan seemed to see that Dr. You had opened a window for himself, and he did have such and such inexplicable feelings about Liu Caogu.

Dr. You began to analyze psychologically: "In your subconscious, you don't actually know how to recognize her and treat her properly. She is the closest woman you can get close to, but you can't get close to her. Such a long-term role confusion eventually leads to the confusion of your understanding of women, and also leads to your sexual nerve being suppressed for a long time, and the result of this repression directly causes the decline and degradation of your sexual function, and even the occurrence of physiological problems. ”

Liu Mu Nan felt that he was indeed as Dr. You said, he did have this and that ambivalence towards Liu Caogu, and he didn't know why he had such ambivalence before. He didn't even dare to face up to such a mentality, he used to feel that he was a person with abnormal nerves, and he even felt that his soul was dirty.

Therefore, on the day when the husband and Liu Caogu got married, he vomited the filth of the husband after he got drunk, and he was secretly very happy in his heart. Because he felt that the husband was a dirty man, Liu Caogu scolded him for this, and made him disgusted with the bride and groom. He fantasized about what kind of husband and Liu Caogu were together, and thus he had an inexplicable contempt for men and women.

Liu Mu Nan felt that the secret he was hiding deep in his heart was broken by Dr. You. Before, he felt very confused and did not dare to think about such a question. After being pointed out by Dr. You one by one, he felt that his whole body was relaxed, like a person who had never found a way out after getting lost, suddenly found a glimmer of light, and suddenly touched the place of the exit, and the psychological shadow disappeared naturally.

With the help of Dr. You, Liu Mu Nan has a new understanding of Liu Caogu and a new understanding of Xiao Kunu. Even when he thought of Xiao Kunu, he would naturally have an impulse that he thought that he and Xiao Kunu must have a child of their own.

In Liu Mu Nan's heart, there was a shadow that no one knew before, and he was an outcast like Liu Caogu. When he was five or six years old, he was brought back from the mountains by his father, who looked at the thin, short child sitting on the ground, and had no more thoughts than to decide to take him back and give him a home.

After Daddy brought him home, he gave him a hot bath. Many years later, his father told him that when he was picked up, he was as dirty as a mud monkey, and it took several basins of water to wash it off.

Since there were no boys' clothes for him to change, his father took him two clothes that Liu Caogu had worn. He looked at the colorful clothes but refused to wear them, and his father smiled and said, "You are quite a bit of a man's temper." ”

Liu Caogu looked at him from the side and said with a smile: "You don't wear it?" If you have the ability, don't wear it, you can be naked! Only then did he lower his eyebrows and reluctantly put on Liu Caogu's old clothes.

Dad asked him how old he was, and he said he was five years old, then he thought about it and said he was six years old. Therefore, no one can figure out how old he was when he was picked up by his father, and of course no one knows his birthday.

Dad had to smile and say, "The day I picked you up, it was your birthday." ”

Daddy named him Liu Mu Nan because he was sitting under the big tree outside the Banshan Temple, crying alone with snot and no one paid attention to him, and Daddy brought him back from under the big tree, which Daddy told him before he died.

Daddy also gave him a nickname Yougen, which means that the goodness in this world will not disappear, and it will have roots like this mountain. Dad also gave Caogu a nickname Chuan Dai, which also means that kindness will be passed down from generation to generation.

He didn't tell the secret that Daddy said, because he didn't want anyone to know that he wasn't Daddy's own son except for him and Cao Gu who knew it. Daddy said: "No one can hide from birth, old age, sickness and death, I'm leaving, you and Cao Gu must guard this home." Since then, he has been accustomed to listening to Aunt Liucao in everything, and he no longer laughs and quarrels with Aunt Liucao.

Yanagi Nan lay on the station seat and fell asleep in a daze, until the loudspeaker of the station sounded the shout that the long-distance train at Banshan Temple was about to depart, and he woke up.

Liu Mu Nan got into the car with his luggage in a woven bag, sat down in the seat a little in front of him, leaned against the window and thought about Xiao Kunu, thinking about Aunt Liu Cao and what kind of husband, and the two children who watched them grow up.

(Next Preview: Chapter 142: Difficult to Set Personality)