In the memory of 2012, the two became three people, and the three of them played volleyball on the playground together, laughing and running, sweating and youth unscrupulously; On a snowy day, you stumble over me, I stumble over your wrestling and fall into the snow; Wang Jinlong will yell at others viciously when they provoke them, stay away from my apprentice! When I came to study at night, I would buy two yuan a string of sugar gourds for two apprentices, and watch the two girls hissing and rubbing their hands in the snow to eat sugar gourds, laughing and scolding that they are really two little pigs; will laugh behind the two apprentices in the middle of the class, although most of them are still fighting with Li Weiwei, but it can also be clearly felt that Liang Nian is different from before, she will often sit in the seat with her arms crossed and smile at them, and occasionally pull a fight, it seems that she is no longer so resistant to calling the master.

Wang Jinlong because of his good physique and tall stature, he was selected into the school's sports team, and the last two classes in the afternoon can be ignored every afternoon, and he can concentrate on practicing sports downstairs, long-distance running, long jump, and frog jumping. Liang Nian and Li Weiwei don't know much about what sports to practice, but when Wang Jinlong was wearing black short sleeves, sweating hot in the cold wind downstairs, and training exhausted, the two of them would lean on the windowsill and shout at the master downstairs to cheer for the master, and every time Wang Jinlong would turn around in sweat, nod at the two bright girls, and then continue to run long distances.

Looking back on that time, the simple and happy friendship of the three people, every concerned look and every bright smiling face, people can't help but feel warm and touched from the bottom of their hearts.

Today's weather is dry and cold, the ample heating in the room makes Liang Nian's already sore forehead sitting next to him even more dizzy, and the fleece snow cotton boots also exude heat from the soles of his feet, and the whole person is irritable, and the teacher is talking in the dark on the lectern, but he can't arouse Liang Nian's interest at all.

Liang Nian turned his head to look at the seats behind the side that had been empty for three days, the desk was empty, and there was a figure lying on the table missing, which made people feel like something was missing. After class, Li Weiwei rushed to the table in front of Liang Nian and sat down, and asked, "The master hasn't come back yet?" Liang Nian shook his head slightly, and the two of them looked at the seats behind them and sighed, Wang Jinlong hadn't come to school for three days, and he suddenly disappeared in the morning three days ago, and he couldn't be reached by phone. Li Weiwei and Zhang Yuanping and Wang He'an, who lived with Wang Jinlong, inquired about the news of the master, and the two of them just shook their heads and said that they only knew that there was an accident at home, but they didn't know what the specific situation was.

"Give me the phone!" Li Weiwei stretched out his hand at Liang Nian, "What's wrong?" "Try with your number, and you might get through." Liang Nian took out the mobile phone from the table and handed it to Li Weiwei, and there was an echo that was still empty for a while.

At night, when Liang Nian was washing clothes in the water room, he plugged in the headphones as usual, and listened to Cao Fang's scarecrow playing in the headphones on a loop, when suddenly a deafening sound sounded in his ears, and Liang Nian, who was frightened, almost threw his mobile phone into the pool. Liang Nian clamped the headphones that were about to fall off, wiped his wet hands that were still stained with laundry detergent on his T-shirt, opened the slider phone, and the voice-activated light in the water room suddenly returned to darkness, and the fluorescent screen displayed "Master".

Liang Nian stood in the dark, connected the phone, listened to the heavy breathing sound in the microphone, and an inexplicable sour feeling appeared in his nose, which spread out with his limbs. Hearing Wang Jinlong's somewhat hoarse voice like a broken horn, he said in a low voice, "I'll go back tomorrow" Liang Nian nodded subconsciously, only to find that the other party was invisible in the microphone, "Okay" Liang Nian replied. The heavy breathing sound on the other side seemed to pass through the microphone, conveying this unknown sad emotion, this idea made Liang Nian unconsciously clench the mobile phone, "Good night master" Liang Nian said softly in the dark, the crisp voice was like the dawn of dawn that crossed the darkness, with a calm but calming power, let Wang Jinlong wake up from the trance darkness, and after a while, he gently replied "Good night".

Wang Jinlong came back, everyone had a tacit understanding, they didn't ask him what happened, he didn't say anything, everything seemed to be as usual, in class and out of class. But vaguely, Liang Nian felt that something was different, since he came back, it seemed that he had become less talkative, and he could keep a distance from the people in the class, even if Li Weiwei pulled him to laugh, he just pulled the corners of his mouth but rarely responded, as if nothing could arouse his interest. Li Weiwei and Liang Nian were both a little caught off guard, accustomed to the three of them together, but suddenly there were only two people left, Wang Jinlong seemed to be left in the darkness behind him, the two people wanted to drag him out of the darkness, but he withdrew his hand, leaving only two hands to stretch in the air but only grasped the nothingness.

"Something must have happened, otherwise it couldn't have been so sudden." Li Weiwei leaned on the windowsill, frowning and looking down at Wang Jinlong's black back on the playground and walking out of the school gate alone, Liang Nian leaned on the wall of the class, and the dim light in the dusk passed through the abrupt branches outside the window, forming a faint shadow on her nose. She didn't open her eyes or speak, thinking in her heart like a masochistic thing, she was abandoned, the two of us.

Liang Nian always felt that she had a stubborn prejudice against people's hearts, she had lived among all kinds of people since she was a child, and she had seen a lot of kind, indifferent, gentle and pretentious faces, she didn't want to believe in any sincerity, but she couldn't resist the desire for warmth in her heart. Just like usual, she is always smiling, looking very sensible, and she has never had a time when her emotions are out of control. When her parents quarreled occasionally, she would never interfere, but she would secretly hide her mother's ID card under the pillow and lie under the covers as if nothing was wrong.

Liang Nian is careful to be a good child, carefully observing the different emotions of the people around him, and living carefully. That's it, Liang Nian couldn't help laughing at himself, knowing that this person was very dangerous, but he still let him into my life, and the end of blind belief was just that. Liang Nian shook his head and wanted to get the messy thoughts out of his head, "Weiwei, don't think about it, go eat the iron plate chicken." Li Weiwei turned his head to look at Liang Nian's expression, wanting to say something, but opened his mouth but didn't say anything.

On Saturday night, because they only had two days off, Li Weiwei and Liang Nian did not go home, and they did not have to study at night. I don't know how long I walked, the sky gradually darkened, two people saw a middle-aged uncle on the street pushing a bicycle to sell sugar gourds, cylindrical bundled reed poles, inserted in a variety of different red sugar gourds poured with sugar juice, the two people saw the sugar gourd subconsciously turned their heads and looked at each other, and smiled bitterly. "Niannian, I kind of want to drink." Li Weiwei raised his head and looked at the street lamp that suddenly lit up above his head, and the yellow light hit Li Weiwei's pupils, reflecting a pale yellow light. Liang Nian looked at Li Weiwei, as if he had been grabbed by someone, "Okay."

The two men bought a lot of cans of beer, and they didn't sit still, carrying the beer in the bag, and walking along the road to drink. Liang Nian's hand carrying the bag became cold in the air, but his heart was warm because of the effect of alcohol, I don't know how much the two of them drank, Li Weiwei began to get a little drunk, she shook off Liang Nian's hand, and jumped and laughed with half a cup of cans in her hand under the street lamp, Liang Nian wanted to help her, but found that the soles of her feet began to be a little unstable, looking at Li Weiwei Liang Nian was a little angry in his heart, but the corners of his mouth couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably, Liang Nian raised his head to look at the dizzy street lamp, laughing and thinking, This is the effect of alcohol, no wonder so many people are addicted to alcohol.

Liang Nian finally dragged Li Weiwei to sit down on the flower bed on the side of the road, watching Li Weiwei's ears being frozen red, Liang Nian sighed, and thought to himself, "How can you take care of yourself like this?" With distress and helplessness, she took off her hat and put it on Li Weiwei's head, straightened it, and then lifted the hat behind her coat and buttoned it on her head indiscriminately. Li Weiwei suddenly sobbed, "Nian Nian, I asked, my mother is sick, he doesn't want to miss it, he feels that he is a burden and a sinner." She pieced it together randomly, but Liang Nian understood, remembering the night in the water room, his painful gasp suppressed in the dark, her slender hand grasped the cold and biting beer can, swallowed a sip of wine, the cold liquid flowed down her throat into her chest, gradually melting, and overflowing with indescribable sourness.

Liang Nian helped Li Weiwei's head and leaned on his shoulder, Li Weiwei's tears flowed down her face into Liang Nian's neck, cold and biting. Liang Nian silently stroked Li Weiwei's back to comfort her, but her head began to sink a little, she remembered the picture of the three of them lying on the iron frame together and watching the stars, as if it was just yesterday, and it seemed so far away. In the dark, Liang Nian felt as if his sense of hearing and touch had become dull, and he had never drunk so much wine that Liang Nian himself did not realize that it was actually Li Weiwei's tears that flowed into his neck at all.

On the way back, passing by Wang Jinlong's off-campus dormitory behind the school, Li Weiwei was already too drunk to stand unsteadily, Liang Nian held Li Weiwei's shoulders and walked back with difficulty, and suddenly saw a stall selling sugar gourds under the flashing street lamp downstairs in the dormitory, sour and full of throat, unable to swallow and swallow, Li Weiwei took out his mobile phone to call Wang Jinlong, "Master, you come down, we will buy you sugar gourd...... Master, why are you......" Li Weiwei grabbed his mobile phone and sobbed, and after finishing speaking, he squatted on the ground and cried, and the phone was also thrown aside.

Liang Nian picked up the phone, on the other end of the phone, the silent voice lasted for a while, "Where are you" "Downstairs" After a while, Wang Jinlong came out of the dormitory wrapped in a black coat. "Why are you drunk like this" He frowned and helped Li Weiwei up, and his other hand reached in front of Liang Nian's forehead, "Why are you so red, drinking?" Liang Nian subconsciously dodged and didn't look at him, cleaning up the things on the ground, Li Weiwei fell into Wang Jinlong's arms and choked uncontrollably, and struggled to grab the sugar gourd and let him eat it.

The scene was chaotic, picking up the beer and sugar gourds scattered on the ground, but Liang Nian's limbs began to be a little uncontrollable. "Let's go to our dormitory first, how can you two go back like this" Wang Jinlong helped Li Weiwei, Liang Nian took the beer in the bag behind him, and followed Wang Jinlong up the steps, the sugar juice on the sugar gourd stuck to Liang Nian's palm, sticky and panicked. The dormitory was opened in a private house, the third aunt and third aunt of the dormitory were not there, the second floor was their dormitory, the two floors of the big bed were combined and placed on the other side, there were two other beds in the room on the opposite wall, and there were several other boys playing cards in the room.

"Okay, okay, stop playing" Wang Jinlong kicked away the chair where a person was sitting with his feet, and the boys stood up with cards and cigarettes in their mouths, and helped Li Weiwei to sit down on the bed against the wall. Wang Jinlong turned around and took the things in Liang Nian's hand, handed over a towel and asked Liang Nian to wipe off the sugar juice in his hand. Seeing Liang Nian standing at the door in a daze, Wang Jinlong couldn't help but sigh and pressed her to the lower bunk opposite and sat down, the smell of smoke in the room made people a little drowsy, she struggled to stand up, "Don't move", Wang Jinlong seemed to be a little angry, and pressed her down, "It's really out of you two, what time is it and you're just walking outside, not afraid of accidents?" ”

Liang Nian sat down on the quilt behind her in a daze, feeling that her cold body began to warm up slowly, her head and limbs began to numb, she squinted her eyes and listened to Wang Jinlong's rambling, comforted Li Weiwei, promised her that she would not leave, and watched Wang Ji'an and Zhang Yuanping take towels and hot water to wipe Weiwei's face, everything became illusory. "Are you crying? Why are the eyes so red" Wang Jinlong crossed Liang Nian with both hands, leaned against the bed frame to support his body, his whole face fell down and approached, the angular face quickly enlarged in front of Liang Nian's eyes, and the black bright eyes stared straight at her slightly reddish eyes, as if to penetrate her soul and look into Liang Nian's heart, with his usual faint ruffian smile on his face, his eyes were like Liang Nian had never seen before, so black, so bright and dazzling, as if he was going to be sucked into that vortex in the next second.

"Nope!" Liang Nian pushed him away, and there was a thumping echo in his chest, I must have drunk too much, she thought to herself. Wang Jinlong stood up and stroked Liang Nian's hair with his hand, "Tidy it up, it's all messy", she relieved herself, straightened her hair that was blown by the wind like a chicken coop, and stopped looking at him.

Wang Jinlong stared at the girl in front of him and couldn't help but think, how much invisible courage and strength is hidden in this stubborn and silent thin body all day long? In Wang Jinlong's memory, although she is very cheerful and seems to be very good with everyone, she unconsciously keeps a safe distance, and she looks like a small one, but she still has such an indifferent side under her smiling face. Thinking of the glance she looked at herself from the water room before, as if she was not afraid of anything, but with a desperate determination, just like her anger against life under the mask of laughter and indifference, Wang Jinlong didn't know why, but felt that she seemed to be the same as herself, a person who lived in the long and endless darkness and struggled but couldn't save herself.

This kind of thought made him feel ridiculous, maybe I was a little crazy, he thought silently in his heart for a while, as if he had made up his mind, he suddenly lowered his body and approached Liang Nian's ears, which were red from the recuperation, and said something in a voice that only two people could hear. Liang Nian looked at the ground blankly, his mind turned slowly, his voice was too soft, as if he hadn't said anything at all, Liang Nian raised his head, and what met her gaze was the desperate but serious look in his hard outline, as light as that sentence, was a gentle look she had never seen on his face. At that moment, Liang Nian only heard his heartbeat like thunder, and his mind went blank as if the power had been cut off.

Time passed little by little, everything returned to its original state, and Wang Jinlong began to slowly change back to the previous bohemian and unruly little gangster appearance, laughing and laughing with everyone. Liang Nian always remembered that night, but even if she racked her brains, she still couldn't remember what he said, all she remembered was his serious and gentle face, so alcohol was really poison, forget it, it is estimated that it is not an important word. Liang Nian watched Wang Jinlong and Li Weiwei arguing about whether there was singular or plural in their throats, and slowly raised the corners of their mouths, and their eyes became gentle, only everyone is together, and everything else is not important.

Later, I learned that Wang Jinlong's father worked in other places all the year round and did not come home, and there were only his mother and him in the family, and a married sister. This time, my mother was sent to the hospital because of sudden syncope, and after the examination, it was found that there was a tumor in the head, although it was benign but still required high surgical fees.

For Wang Jinlong, who is just about to become an adult, the pain caused by the stubbornness and self-esteem of the teenager, the state of mind and situation that others cannot guess. Obviously it looks like she is wearing all kinds of famous brands, but she will still be trapped by poverty, maybe the more people lack something, the more they want to show something, Liang Nian thought, every time she saw Wang Jinlong like no one else, pretending to be tough as if she didn't care about anything, there would always be softness and distress in her heart that even she didn't notice.