Maybe soon, I will leave this world.

People often cherish it until the last minute.

I'm Yang Jingyu, when I was shopping with friends last month, I fainted, and I woke up after being sent to the hospital and comatosing for three hours.

At that time, in the hospital, the doctor gave me glucose water, said that I was too tired, and I should pay attention to rest, and finally said that I should find a time to do a physical examination.

Since my friend was frightened and was in no mood to go shopping, she also reminded me to do the test by the way. I think it's too much trouble, and to put it simply, I'm just lazy. She didn't say much, she also knew that the company had been too busy recently, everyone was busy with various projects to pass me, and she said some warm words to send me back.

How dare I really ask her to send me back? Otherwise, she will know that I am a junior for the boss of our company.

Do you feel shocked that I could be such a disgusting person?

Well, it's disgusting indeed.

After thinking about it for a long time, I felt that writing it down was something I had to do, and I wanted to record the last moments, even if it wasn't good.

After I went back that time, I always felt that my body was suddenly not very comfortable, the kind that made me dizzy when I moved, and as the stomach pain became more and more serious, I really couldn't stand it anymore and went to the hospital for a check-up. It's just the result of the day before yesterday.

When I received the results, I had just finished a fight with Xu Yangang, and the quarrel was very fierce because he said a series of insulting things to me in our apartment. The reason is that I saw the video of him and his daughter together, Xu Yan behaved very well, like a good husband and father, sitting opposite me, chatting with his wife and daughter.

As soon as his daughter's voice came out, I thought of when I was taken to the hospital for an abortion by him. It's disgusting, he's really good at pretending. After they finished the call, I couldn't help but curse a word of "hypocrisy", I don't remember later, I remember that I and he have been arguing, and then Xu Yan pushed me to the table, I slammed the corner of the table, and my back hurt to death, he pinched my face and said, "I really want to kill you, do you want to have a child?" I feel nauseous, how good is it? ”

After he shook me off and went out, I squatted on the ground and didn't know how long I thought about it, my brain was dull, and I didn't know what I was thinking, I walked to the bathroom in a daze, only to find that I was like a resentful woman, crying a lot, I washed my face, and leaned against the wall slowly.

But the phone rang, prompting me that the physical examination report came out, and I clicked on it at random, and I saw the electronic report pushed out by the program. I looked at it casually, but I couldn't make out what that section was saying. What, I know these words, I don't know what they mean when they are organized together?

Hahahaha, I knelt on the ground and cried like a widower, and my phone was smashed against the wall by me, it should be broken.

I don't know how long it was, I just remember that I fell to the ground and felt so cold, my body was so numb that I got up, I didn't sleep that night, I went back to my room and lay down until dawn, I couldn't accept the reality.

It's unreal, it's very unreal, I can't even speak, I don't know how long it took, I think I'm gradually sober, and then I got up and washed and changed a set of clothes, and I didn't ask the company for leave, anyway, the boss is him, I told him that he would be approved, and it was better to accept that he would directly deduct my salary.

I took a taxi to the hospital and asked the doctor about my condition, but I didn't listen to a lot of talk anyway, and people were numb. In the end, I only knew that he persuaded me to accept treatment, which could better delay the disease. I nodded nonsensily, and left the hospital.

I'm so uncomfortable, but I don't know how to express it, at this moment, I probably really understand, what is called a heart like ashes. Instead of going back to the house where Xu Yan and I lived, I walked to the park. I sat in the public chair and watched the parents with small children, the grandparents playing chess and so on, and it was as if time stood still. It wasn't until the night was getting late, until the music of the square dances was playing, that I woke up to the fact that I had been sitting here for so long.

To be honest, I'm pretty receptive, you see, I can write it out.

I went back to the apartment, Xu Yan didn't come back, I smiled self-deprecatingly, so should I tell him that I have cancer? It doesn't seem to make sense to say it, he probably wants me to die.

I hid the report, and then sat in front of my window, looking out, the cold wind was blowing, and I felt much sober, but I didn't want to move until I heard the sound of the door opening outside. It was Xu Yan who came back, he didn't come in to look for me, and I think so, how could he come to my room now.

Xu Yan and I both have a room, and he will only summon me when he needs me to warm his bed, and drive me back when he is done. I'm probably the only one who has done three to such a miserable degree.

I close my eyes, I'm tired.

I waited until I woke up again and then hurried back to my bed. I owe Xu Yan, and it seems that I can't finish it.

I looked at the phone with my screen shattered, and after 11 o'clock in the evening, I put it next to my pillow and went straight to sleep, still thinking about what I was going to do. The news of mid-to-advanced stomach cancer undoubtedly hit me too hard.

When I was about to fall asleep, Xu Yan suddenly came in, and before I got up, he was already pressed on me, and I was so sleepy that I couldn't open my eyes. I knew what he wanted to do, but I wasn't in the mood today, so I pushed him with my hand, "Xu Yan, you go away, I'm very tired today." ”

He grabbed my hands and put them on top of my head, and I heard him sneer in my ear, "Tired? Well? Are you eligible to refuse? And if you are absent from work for a day today, 200 will be deducted. ”

I was used to it, and he didn't care about me behind me, but he took off my clothes, parted my legs, and came in. I frowned and closed my eyes to accept it all.

He didn't seem to be very satisfied with my attitude, he tortured me as hard as he was annoyed, and I reminded him that he didn't hear anything, and he was crazy no matter how painful I cried.

He was lying beside me, I looked at everything outside the window under the moonlight, my tears couldn't stop flowing, I tried to suppress it, and tried my best to ask him in a calm tone: "Xu Yan, I can't do it yet." ”

"Do you still like me?"

I was answered by a long silence.

"How about I give you back my life?"

He rolled over and pressed against me, glared at me, and said with disdain: "You think too highly of yourself, and you are not the only one who has slept with me." Your life is worth a of money. ”

I felt so uncomfortable listening to it that tears flowed desperately, and I stopped talking, closed my eyes and slept.

He quickly got up and got dressed, and deliberately closed the door heavily before going out.

I sighed and wiped away my tears.