I had two dreams the day before yesterday, yes, I had two dreams in one night, and at first I dreamed of Nianjun's wedding.

He was a participant at the wedding. Endure the festering wounds in my heart, waiting for him to give me a redemption.

It's a pity that he only got one sentence from him: "Jiang Jingmu, don't say much, don't live in this life." I wish you a bright future and a happy life. ”

I loved the wedding scene, and I loved the bride's veil and the ring on her hand. It's a pity that he didn't marry me, a girl who has been in love for half of his life.

I dreamed that I was dancing on the lawn of the hotel garden next to the venue of a lively wedding.

My sorrow, my joy, all my emotions were given to myself at this moment.

There is no audience, only tears to bless me, and by the way, to appease my unrequited love that ended without a problem.

After that, I dreamed of Mr. Yuan fifty years later, sitting on the leftmost chair in the big tavern.

At that time, my children and grandchildren were full, but there was no one around him, and there was a warm cup of tea on the coffee table next to him.

I staggered through the wooden door of the tavern and walked towards him.

He looked at me with gray hair, chaotic eyes, and loose skin.

He asked me, "If we came together back then, is it you and me who are sending our grandchildren to school now?" ”

be rendered speechless

Why are the dreams so bleak...

Then, in the dream, he finally stood up with his chair and walked towards me tremblingly, but my outstretched hand grabbed a handful.

In my sleep, I felt someone touching my eyes, and when I opened them, I realized that I was crying and wetting the pillow.

Mr. Yuan was propping himself up with his left arm and wiping my tears with his right hand.

"Nightmare?"

"Hmm."

I pulled the quilt over, and only a pair of eyes were exposed, looking at him with sobs.

"What nightmares did you have?" He smiled and rubbed my hair.

"I dreamed we broke up...", he rubbed my hair with his hand, and froze there.

"Throw your pillow away tomorrow and get a new one. What a bullshit dream. ”

"Hmm... I dreamed of you at fifty. In my dream, you asked me if if I had walked together back then, and now I am accompanied by my grandchildren, is it you? ”

"It must be, I won't be so stupid!"

He reached for the alarm clock on the bedside table and set the time at eight:

"You'll be allowed to sleep until eight o'clock today, and you won't have to go for a run with me tomorrow."

He covered me with a quilt and hugged me and closed his eyes.

I rubbed the new stubble on his chin and kissed him. Surrounded by his aura, it was very comfortable.

I'm also afraid that when I am displaced, I won't find the person I want.

I don't know what these two dreams mean, I just want to have him in my ordinary life all the time.

I like to be close to warm things.

When I got up in the morning, I didn't sleep until eight o'clock, turned off the alarm clock, and didn't call Mr. Yuan to get up.

After getting dressed, I went to the study and sat at the table in a daze for a long time.

Playing the ukulele and singing a song I heard recently, "I like to be close to warmth in winter"

-- In the winter, I try to get close to the warmth,

For example, the hot springs that roll under the snow for many years,

Like the eternal sunlight of the poles,

Such as love and death,

Like rushing to your chest in desperation,

Like a traveler who is covered in wind and frost but has nowhere to stop,

I have broken this old skin and returned home,

Like a woman who escaped death and rushed into the fire,

I buried myself with my beloved in my arms.

I'm afraid of dreaming bad dreams, timid.

Nianjun's wedding was a thorn in my heart, pierced deeply. But I didn't want to let go, and Mr. Yuan ......

Very contradictory, my thoughts.

Who exactly is loved?

Twenty-nine-year-old Mr. Yuan is a gentle and caring man. The twenty-seven-year-old Nian Jun has already become a family, and he is someone else's husband no matter how much he cares.

I think it's time to say goodbye to the past. I've been embarrassing myself, I've been running away, and I've been letting down Mr. Yuan.

I don't know where I've seen such a sentence:

――If you like two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because I like it too much, there won't be a second one.

――――

///

On the night we went to Hong Kong, Mr. Yuen and I went out for a walk after dinner.

I said to him, "If I were alone, I wouldn't have gone out so late." ”

"I know, that's why you have me. I'll be safe with you to see the city at night, and you'll be safe with me. ”

His fingers are slender and beautiful. A man who is almost thirty years old is always so narcissistic when he talks about himself.

Sometimes I have low self-esteem, and after being with him, I have heard many people say: Yuan Shubai is a leader from a famous British university, and Jiang Jingmu is just a bad student from the Academy of Fine Arts. It's not a good match at all, I really don't understand how Yuan Shubai likes her.

It's like being hit by Gu and having a sad dream. Every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I always look at myself in the mirror. I can't help but cry, sad for no reason.

At the age of 27, although I graduated from the Academy of Fine Arts, I was the most ordinary student. If it weren't for the help of a good mentor in college, I would not have been able to successfully enter the company and live so decently with three insurances and one housing fund.

It is only possible to be an ordinary studio woman after graduation, teaching fur to students, and perhaps fooling students and parents, earning such money to support herself.

And the twenty-nine-year-old Yuan Shubai was the leader of a foreign company early.

People are very strange, too bad to look down on. It's too good, I feel inferior and dare not ask for it.

Mr. Yuan took out a toffee from his pocket and handed it to me:

"Jiang, I especially like to go to the night market in the university town with you on the lively street at night, holding your hand. I like to go out in the middle of the night with you, go to a barbecue and have a beer or two, and a plate of peanuts is not bad. I like to paint the same picture with you in the house on an intoxicating afternoon, do the same design, and participate in all corners of your life. I like to write down all your moments and also write down all the things about you. When we get old, I'll take your skinny hand and tell you all these memories. Don't worry I'll forget, I remember it all in my head, even what you said in your sleep. ”

Suddenly the wind picked up and I stopped. In the evening, the corners of his face were with a happy look.

"I prefer to think wildly."

"Sort of. Do you want another White Rabbit toffee? ”

Shaking my head, I stepped my foot to touch his hair. He stood upright, hunched slightly at the same level as me as he noticed my movements.

I reached out and wrapped my head around his head to lean against my chest, my soft hair rubbing against my chin.

"What are you worried about?"

"I'm in... I'm thinking, if one day we don't get so good anymore, will I have a high vision in the future? ”

"Nonsense!"

"Just an example."

He straightened up, shoved the toffee into my hand, and turned to leave.

"......" as for it

Looking at the three White Rabbit toffees in my palm, I smiled helplessly.

His back looked like he was angry, and he even took a big step. It should have been found that I hadn't caught up, and he stopped angrily and looked back at me.

I held the toffee in my hand and laughed at him for being so cute.

"Look at what! Hurry up and go, I don't know what romance is! He came back with a pummer, snatched the toffee from my hand and stuffed it back into his pocket.

"Originally, I took you to the Ferris wheel in the playground! Thinking you're going to love it, I've got you ready! However, I'm angry now. Okay, stop, don't talk, I don't want to hear you now. ”

"Don't, don't, I was wrong, I was wrong. Yuan cute, don't be like this. I'm stupid, so I'll promise not to talk nonsense in the future. ”

"No, I don't accept it, I'd better sit by myself, and I won't bother you."

"Don't."

I grabbed him by the arm, and all my strength was attached to him.

It took a lot of effort for him to take me...

Honestly, this man is a bit stingy.

It's rare for a Ferris wheel to be open so late, and the playground is left with only a few scattered staff. It's very bright, there is no merry-go-round with the lights off, colored lights on the side of the road, and crane machines, Christmas trees, etc.

Thousands of lights, rivers and deserts.

He sat across from me holding my hand, and I leaned against the window and watched the scenery outside the slowly rising Ferris wheel.

Christmas is coming up, and it's a holiday I've been looking forward to lately.

I can give him a handmade suit.

"Thank you."

"Cut, I'm your boyfriend. Needless to say thank you. I saw the devotion in his eyes.

He had stars in his eyes and I couldn't help but blush.

A long, long time ago there was no rouge, and a woman's face was only red for her lover.

We kissed at the top of the Ferris wheel.

He said that he could see how I was lately, and he said that he didn't care about what people said, but he didn't expect me to be so unconfident.

He praised me as a very spiritual designer.

What a good thing he is...

I didn't choose the wrong person in my youth, and I'm glad that I didn't let love be casual because of loneliness.

It's very melancholy, because I'm afraid that he will change his mind one day. I can't accept the person I love the most, and living with someone else is the second half of my life with him.

I'm afraid that his happiness has nothing to do with me.

Lu Yitong or others. I finally know that what I don't care about doesn't mean that others don't care, and don't cherish it when you regret it.

I heard that I haven't met for a long time in my life, so don't miss it.

After getting off the Ferris wheel, Mr. Yuan rubbed his face on the road, looking like he wanted to say something and stopped.

"Speak."

"I, I want to say. Can I give you a rose? He pulled out a rose-shaped stud earring from his pocket.

I thought he would give me a bouquet of roses, but I didn't expect it to be a rose-shaped stud earring.

In his outstretched palm, there was an earring with a broken diamond.

"There was only one, and the rabbit ate the other. Today it went out without pulling the stinky smell, and I couldn't find it... Don't dislike it. ”

You can see that he is shy, and even his ears are pink.

Flicked my hair and put it on for me.

I looked up and asked him, "Is it pretty?" ”

"Beautiful." He laughed

Yuan Shubai, I really like you.

"One day your incredible sweet smile shook my sleepy youth through the gaps of idle talk." / Rabindranath Tagore, The Last Week