As the days passed, I moved back to my parents' house without saying anything. Many times I saw them want to ask me something, but I acted as if I had never known Yuan Shubai, didn't mention anything, and lived a stable life, but they couldn't ask again.

Yuan's mother didn't call me, and kept in touch with my mother quietly. They couldn't say anything, and in general, they all knew that Yuan Shubai and I were over.

Early on Saturday morning, I went to the city alone to watch a movie. When I got home, I happened to see Yuan's mother and my mother going downstairs. I hid quietly and dared to go upstairs when I saw Yuan's mother leave.

I guess Yuan's mother will come here because of me and Yuan Shubai.

After changing his shoes, he glanced at the living room, and asked his mother as if nothing had happened: "There are guests at home?" ”

"Ahh No, no. "Mom is really not good at lying, and she hears it when she hears it. I pouted and nodded, watching her smile smirked.

"Eat fruit? I'll cut the mango for you. Mom took the water cup used by Mother Yuan from the table. I stopped her, and I couldn't help but laugh:

"Mom-you really can't lie, okay, I saw Aunt Yuan coming downstairs. Why do you ask you, you still don't tell the truth? ”

She took the cup and walked back from the kitchen: "I'm not afraid that you know, Xiao Yuan is here, and you feel uncomfortable." ”

"What's uncomfortable, come on, come on, you sit." I put my arm around her shoulders and asked her to sit on the couch.

"I'll tell you, I broke up with Yuan Shubai."

My mother was an anxious person, and before she could finish the words, she was anxious to ask me why. I put my index finger in front of my mouth and made a booing motion, and she stopped talking.

"I know what you want to ask, I'll tell you slowly, okay? We are both too busy to take care of each other and often ignore each other. He couldn't love each other properly, so he felt tired. Besides, don't you and Lao Jiang always think that I'm a little delayed by Yuan Shubai? He's thirty years old, and he's dragging it out... It's not good, either. Parted... Break up and break up, what's this. ”

When the latter words came out, I choked up a little. I got up and went back to my room, locking the door. It's uncomfortable, it's really sad. Break up, break up, this means that you can let go of it.

I saw this sentence on the Internet:

I walked out of breath with my passion, my indifference, my rage, my mildness, and my unwarranted belief in love. I stammered and said to him, "What's your name?" Starting with what your name is, later, there is everything. - Van Gogh

I am an ordinary person, with an ordinary life, an ordinary job, and an ordinary love.

Everyone envies vigorous love, but when it suddenly matures. Instead, he longed for ordinary love, let go of his fun-loving heart, and began to live a slow-flowing life.

Many nights I would dream of Yuan Shubai, and the dream at the beginning turned into a nightmare. I woke up crying when I fell asleep, then sat up and looked at the view from the window. Reflect, which step was wrong, and we are separated.

Another dream I had a long time ago, I still dreamed of Mr. Yuan, who was about fifty years old, and he was still sitting on the leftmost chair in the big tavern.

I don't know why it's a retro house, obviously we rarely go to those places, but the dream is interpreted like this.

My side is full of children and grandchildren, holding the hands of my little grandchildren. There was still no one around him, this time with a puppy, but not a rabbit. There was a warm cup of tea on the coffee table next to him, and the fog was wafting.

I staggered through the wooden door of the tavern and walked towards him.

He looked at me with gray hair, chaotic eyes, and loose skin.

He asked me, "What if, back then, we came together." So is it me and you who are sending my grandchildren to school now? ”

In the dream, I was an old woman, and I didn't reply to him speechlessly.

Still such a bleak dream...

In the dream, he finally stood up with his chair and walked towards me tremblingly. Reaching out to take me, he disappeared again.

I didn't have any contact with him for a whole month, and I lost weight during that month. set a new record for weight loss for many years, losing a full 45kg. I didn't deliberately lose weight, I didn't go on a diet. Exercise as usual, but when eating, my appetite is not very good, and I eat a little less.

I decided to take a set of art photos to commemorate myself so thin. The long brown hair grew again, and the face was smaller.

My favorite is the twilight group, wearing a windbreaker lying on the grass in the middle of the park, smiling brightly. Behind him are the buildings of the city, there are burning clouds in the sky, the street lights are also on, and the city is full of traffic.

There was also a group of photographers who tied my hair loosely to make me look more gentle. The shredded hair around the ears obscures part of the contours of the cheeks, and the lipstick color is also a very gentle color. I walked on the evening road, very lonely with a side face, and there was a bus passing behind me.

I pointed to the photo and said, "This one is smiling silly." "But actually I was satisfied, and I smiled beautifully.

"No, it's pretty." The photographer was a little skeptical of my aesthetic, look at me and look at the photo.

He said, "Oh, beauty. You are very beautiful, can I add you on WeChat? ”

I wanted to refuse, but I didn't know why, so I agreed: "Yes." ”

I looked up and saw my favorite stills from Titanic hanging on the wall of their store. Three photos of the male and female protagonists kissing, I asked him: "Give me a copy of this group too, and the cost will be included in my photos." ”

He said, "I'll send you, this group doesn't need money." ”

He propped his chin on his right hand and looked at me with a smile. I'm a very easy person to be attracted to that kind of person who smiles nicely. Many of the idols I used to like were good when they laughed.

Leslie Cheung looks good when he laughs, so he likes him until now.

Mr. Yuan has a good smile and rabbit teeth.

This photographer, although he doesn't have Mr. Yuan's juvenile sense when he laughs, is very mature and charming.

I said, "How old are you?" ”

He said, "Twenty-nine years old. ”

I nodded, got up and went to change. When I came out, he offered to take me home. In the month of falling out of love, I don't think I was able to accept a new relationship very quickly.

"No thanks."

"Can I ask you out for dinner?"

This time I didn't answer, and put my hand in my coat pocket. Lowered his eyes slightly, looked at him slowly, smiled politely, and left.

The assistant next to him asked him, "Hey, did she agree or didn't agree?" ”

He smiled innocently, glanced at the assistant and said, "What do you know, go to work." ”

On the way home, I couldn't help but want to buy a few clothes. Doesn't it mean that girls who are out of love will like to go on a shopping spree? Why did I go to KTV to listen to songs when I first fell out of love? Can't figure it out, can't figure it out.

It's lonely when trying on clothes, and everyone else is a couple. They all come in pairs, but I'm alone. I bought a glass of lemonade and sat on the rest side of the mall, watching the children play in the car. I didn't have much interest for a while, and this month, I was quiet, missing what I was with Yuan Shubai.

How is he now? Are you okay?

There is a lovelorn museum in the mall, and I paid for a ticket to go in. I didn't think it was funny, but I saw a sentence that was good.

- I wish you well, even if it has nothing to do with me later.

After which small plank, I also wrote one: the same.

In the same way, I also hope that he can be good in the future.

Sometimes it's nice to be single, do whatever you want, eat whatever you want. It may be lonely, but I think it's good to get used to it.

So, I went to eat hot pot alone.

In the hot pot restaurant, it can only be said that it is very lively. I'm the only one who eats hot pot alone. I've also read an article before. Say what's wrong with eating hot pot alone? I just want to eat, why do I have to be a group of people.

It's good to think like this, but I don't have such a good attitude at this time. I just feel that the excitement of the people around me has nothing to do with me at all.

Still ignoring the gazes of the people around him, he finished the meal. I think in the next few days, I will definitely do what two people can do by myself.

I bought popcorn and Coke alone and went to the movies, went to the playground alone to play a lot of exciting projects, went shopping alone to buy clothes, went to a hot pot restaurant alone, and played games in the mall alone.

But after all I did, I found that I was still not used to being alone. Still can't get used to the fact that he's been away from me for a whole month.

One night, I bought a beer and took my mother to my favorite grilled fish restaurant with Qu Zhi'an. Drink wine and eat skewers, eat fish, and eat shabu-shabu.

My mother drank several bottles of beer and said, "Why don't you bring your dad?" ”

I shook my head and sighed: "Old Jiang doesn't drink again, what do you call him for." Let's sisters, eat and drink, and talk about our hearts. ”

"Go, go, I'm your mother, dead girl."

I held my face and asked my mother, "Am I cute?" ”

"Cute, it's just that you're too thin." She also thinks that I have lost too much weight recently. But there is no way, if you eat it, you will lose weight. There is nothing wrong with the body, but the state is not good.

"Didn't you say before that if I were fat, you wouldn't want me?"

"Then you're not fat enough to be that right."

"I broke up with Yuan Shubai, do you have anything to tell me?"

My mother said, "Wow, I hope you break up when you are still in love." Otherwise, you will only live casually in the second half of your life, and after twenty or thirty years, you will say that I failed to marry the person I love the most. When the love for one person is consumed, marry another. Then I hope ...... My daughter never gets married for the rest of her life. ”

Rabindranath Tagore said: In the love of the world, I have seen you.

It's just that I'm afraid to make a decision because I'm afraid of missing out. I can always see people who describe the regrets of their lives and then write them down with a pen.

In a nutshell of life, there are only:

Bitterness, regret, misses, and somehow.

Because I couldn't marry the person I wanted to marry the most, I couldn't marry the person I wanted to marry the most. However, even if you marry/marry, maybe the result is still the same. Seemingly, there is no difference.