Resist seeking medical attention

"Touch it, am I thin?" She pointed to her left shoulder and said.

Very skinny indeed. It was early summer in May, and her body was covered in thin clothes, like a hanger. I touched her shoulder, and quickly withdrew my hand: the bulging shoulder blades were too handy.

"Look at me, how thin have you become?" She looked at me sadly.

No answer is required. I knew she wasn't asking for answers, she was asking for sympathy. But sympathy is cheap, and I decided not to be satisfied. I said, "You should go to the doctor." ”

It was what she was most afraid to hear. "No, no, I'll just take Chinese medicine to recuperate." She immediately shrank back, as if burned by fire.

I can't remember the first time she told me. In one year, I met her two or three times in Nanjing and Beijing. For the first time, she said that she had insomnia, had no appetite, and was easily tired; The second time, the situation was more serious, and he reported that he could barely sleep for a few hours a day with sleeping pills; I often feel flustered, exhausted after work every day, and stressed when I think about work.

The second time, I was worried that she was depressed and asked her a few questions, but from her answers, it didn't look like it. She said that if work goes well, she will sleep better; After the work is arranged, I will still feel happy when I take my daughter out to play; Even though I don't like to party, I don't have a problem socializing with people if my work requires it.

I said to her, "You're anxious, probably depressed. It is best to see a doctor. ”

"No," she refused, "It's because the work pressure is too much, and I take Chinese medicine to recuperate." It would be nice if you didn't have to go to work. ”

Another half a year passed. When I saw her again this time, her shape was skeletal, her skin was dull, and her eyes were resentful and sad.

She said she couldn't sleep all night and often felt like she didn't have long to live. I bought a new dress for my daughter, and when I saw my daughter running all over the ground, I thought bitterly: "This time next year, my mother won't see you in new clothes......" went home and made dinner, her husband praised her, and was full of regret: "Why don't you cook more meals for your husband and daughter after so many years?" I won't have a chance in the future, and it's too late to regret it......"

I didn't want to listen anymore and directly concluded: "Last time I said you were anxious with depression, now I think you are depressed with anxiety." See your doctor. When I return to Beijing, I will ask you. ”

I recommended her a doctor in Nanjing. After returning to Beijing, I asked every other week. She found all sorts of reasons to delay. I couldn't push it, so I finally went to the hospital.

On this day, in the morning, she suddenly called. As soon as it was connected, a cheerful voice overflowed: "Zhang Jin, I've seen it, and the doctor said it's okay!" ”

Who wants something? It's good to be fine. The matter was put down.

The instinct to survive

Another few months passed.

One morning, the phone rang, it was her. I plugged in, and it felt weird. On the other end of the phone, her tone was frightened and her voice was slow. "Is that you? How did the voice change? I asked.

She told me sadly that she felt very bad these days, couldn't sleep all night, felt uncomfortable all over, couldn't do anything, was scared, desperate, and felt that she couldn't live anymore.

I was shocked and said, "How can this be? You're at least moderately depressed right now! Didn't the doctor say you were okay last time? ”

I asked, "What did you say to the doctor last time?" What did the doctor say? ”

She snorted. I understood: out of resistance to mental illness, she must have concealed or downplayed key symptoms from the doctor and deceived herself.

But there is no point in pursuing at this point. I asked, "Where are you now?" Hurry up and go to the doctor, it's still too late. ”

She told me that she was on the Wudang Mountain in Hubei Province and was learning from a group of teachers and friends who were interested in traditional Chinese medicine. It's an exchange event she attends every year.

I said, "Don't fight, hurry back to Nanjing, don't delay any longer!" ”

"Besides," she prevaricated again, "I'll go back to see a doctor when the class is over." ”

I persuaded me bitterly: "Don't wait, you see that you are like this, can you go to class?" Can they help you? ”

"My classmates were very nice to me," she said. They say that only by staying in the collective and relying on everyone's help can they overcome themselves. They went to class, I cleaned up in my room, I did what I could, and I felt at ease with my classmates. ”

I was angry: "Since you are down-to-earth, why did you call me?" What are you calling me for? ”

"I, I," she panicked, "I wasn't so good then, but now I'm fine...... I'm fine, I'm hanging up......" The phone made a "beep, beep" sound.

I'll dial it again, turn it off. I was so angry that I couldn't speak, and thought viciously: "No matter, let her go, fend for herself!" ”

Two days later, however, I received another call from her. As soon as she opened her mouth, she said, "Zhang Jin, I'm at the airport." ”

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She replied, "I can't hold on anymore." One of my classmates, who was a Western doctor, also advised me to see a doctor. Now he escorts me back to Nanjing, and tomorrow I will see a doctor. ”

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Human beings have an instinct to survive. My guess is that at the last moment, in the terrifying experience of the loss of life, she chose reason.

The next day, she went to see her and reported to me that the doctor had diagnosed her with moderate depression. It's exactly the same as my judgment.

The drugs are as follows: mirtazapine, escitalopram oxalate, oxazepam.

I was relieved. Judging from these drugs, it is a relatively single depression.

I explained to her that among the three drugs, the main drug is escitalopram oxalate, which is a strong 5-HT reuptake inhibitor of SSRIs to help her repair the imbalance of 5-HT in her brain; Mitazapine is also an antidepressant, which has a strong sleep-aiding effect, which is intended to solve her insomnia disorder, and at the same time works in synergy with escitalopram; Oxazepam is an anxiolytic used to relieve her anxiety.

I said to her, "These three medicines are in the same direction. It means that you are monophasic and very easy to treat. Take your medicine exactly as prescribed, and after a month, you'll be looking refreshed. Three years of pain, one month to solve. ”

Facing side effects

I thought that her treatment would be on the right track and that her recovery would be just around the corner. It turned out that I was optimistic.

Later, I learned that after she got the medicine, she did not take it immediately, but looked at it with her hands for two days. Indecision, fear of side effects, fear of drug dependence......

Finally, I mustered up the courage to start taking my medicine. Since then, she has called me every day to complain of various physical reactions: headaches, shoulder pain, tight muscles, palpitations, nausea, blurred vision......

I said to her, "You're too grassy! Even if there were side effects, it wasn't so fast. Some of these symptoms you already have, and you can't rely on side effects; Some of them are psychogenic, and you come up with them all on your own! ”

Persuasion is useless. With every phone call, she complained bitterly about the side effects and was pessimistic about the prospects. About a week later, she firmly stated that she would stop taking medicine and switch to Chinese medicine and acupuncture.

I was anxious and said, "I don't care if you take Chinese medicine or acupuncture, but you can't stop taking medicine, otherwise, all your efforts will be wasted!" ”

She was noncommittal, just miserable. I was apprehensive and decided to persuade me in person. The next day, I took the high-speed train and arrived in Nanjing a few hours later.

She dissuaded me from going to no avail, and met me on the road in front of my house. I saw that she looked frightened, and she was extremely lonely and helpless in the endless flow of streets.

When I got home, her mother saw me like a savior. Being a family member of a depressed patient is painful. When I talked to her, whenever my mother approached, she would stop talking and look at her. My mother was frightened and embarrassed and said, "Okay, I'll go, I'll go, you can talk." Then he hurried away.

I felt pity for her and blamed her: "Look at you, what you have tortured your mother into!" ”

It's time for dinner. Her mother left me to eat. Seeing her mother's earnest expression, I agreed to stay.

Her mother immediately happily entered the kitchen. In less than an hour, several plates and plates were lined up on the table: cold cucumber, braised crucian carp, shredded white pork, scrambled eggs with shrimp, and pork rib soup with winter melon. There are meat and vegetarian, red and green, cold and hot, soup and water. Although it is not a delicacies of the mountains and seas, it is also lively.

It's the best home cooked meal I've ever had in my life.

The effect of the drug is revealed

After returning to Beijing, she never told me to stop taking the medicine.

But she still doesn't forget to report her side effects often. I turned a blind eye, neither explaining nor persuading. Hold on to one principle: as long as you take your medicine on time, nothing else matters.

After about 10 days, the effect of the drug gradually appeared. First she had a better appetite and wanted to eat; Then I slept a little better and was able to fall asleep; After that, the mood was a little better and less pessimistic......

On this day, she called again. At the end, she asked me, "Zhang Jin, how are you doing?" How is your health? Finally, he admonished: "You have to be careful yourself." ”

I noticed the change in her and asked, "Did you just care about me out of politeness, or did you ask from the heart and with feelings?" ”

"Emotionally, of course." She said.

"Congratulations!" I said, "You're really going to be good!" The emotional channel of depressed patients is blocked. If you just cared about me from the bottom of your heart, it means that you have returned to normal human feelings. The medicine worked! ”

Sure enough, after that, her phone calls became less and less day by day, and finally she stopped calling for a month or two.

I am happy. Her body is healing, her life is regrouping. No longer looking for me means that her energy has shifted to a new direction.

Sorrow is no more

Half a year later, on an occasion, I saw her again.

As soon as they met, she gushed endlessly. It's more about work, proud of his performance, and lamenting his busyness. But the sorrow is no more; She was radiant, and her eyes were rippling.

Looking at her chattering, I remembered a sentence in "Blessing" describing Xianglin's sister-in-law, how consistent:

However, she was satisfied, and a smile gradually appeared at the corner of her mouth, and her face became fat.