He is a typical person with moderate depression.

The first time I saw him, he was walking restlessly in his little dimly lit room, like a trapped beast in a cage.

Before and for a long time afterward, he did not believe or accept that he had depression. Judging by his wife's account, this is certain; My main purpose in going to see him was to help him come to terms with this grim reality and go to the doctor honestly.

He was a high-level intellectual, Ph.D., working at a research institute. Despite this, when his brain is attacked by disease, his thinking is still as simple as that of a retarded and his behavior is as childish as that of a child.

Fortunately, his condition was single and not serious, and after receiving treatment, he was cured within a month.

But his case is still of great value, which specifically illustrates how a depressed patient's thinking and cognition are distorted by the disease, resulting in low self-esteem, self-blame, pessimism, and despair.

During his illness and treatment, I instructed his wife not to be afraid of trouble and to keep a daily record of his thoughts, behaviors, and reactions after taking the medicine. On the one hand, this can benefit his treatment, and on the other hand, it can give confidence to other patients.

Thanks to his wife for making detailed notes as I requested. With her permission, I have arranged it a little and displayed it as follows.

Before you seek medical attention

[Day 4: No Prospects]

Still in a depressed mood, he pulled me from morning till night and asked, "Why are you so happy every day, can't you see the difficulties in front of you?" This home is no longer functioning, and we are now facing a question of life and death. (His so-called "life and death" refers to the financial pressure of living in Beijing and raising a baby, which was also a major source of stress that broke him in the first place)

He repeatedly said, "I walk down the street and feel like everyone is doing better than me." ”

【Day 3·" She's the culprit! ”】

Yesterday he was in the anxiety of "not knowing what to do" and asked me to give him a task. I asked him to put the crib together. When he was loading, he didn't hold a board firmly and fell heavily to the ground. The baby playing on the big bed next to him was scared and cried. Hearing the cry, he was even more upset and yelled at the baby: "What are you crying for, what else will you do besides crying!" Why are you so squeamish! ”

I pulled him aside to reason, and he said he understood everything, but he couldn't restrain his emotions. "I hate her (baby) now, she was the one who made us like this."

【Day 2·" I lied to everyone! ”】

Today at noon, he took a shower with my encouragement (I don't remember how many days he hadn't showered). I tried to work at noon, but after sitting in front of the computer for less than half an hour, it crashed again.

"Let's stop working hard in Beijing, let's go back to our hometown. Even if I had been cured, I wouldn't have been able to write those articles. I'm unemployed, I don't have a salary, and we can't survive in Beijing on your salary alone. ”

"You have to trust my judgment of myself. I got sick because I realized that I wasn't capable enough. When I say this to you, I am sane and sober, without cognitive distortion. We should have thought of this ending years earlier. ”

I said, "You're incompetent?" Then why do your colleagues praise you? ”

He said with a bitter face: "That's because they don't really understand me and are deceived by my appearance." ”

【Day 1·" Life is a dead game"]

On the one hand, he is pessimistic about the treatment, and on the other hand, he feels that even if he is cured, his life will be a dead game.

"What if I'm sick and still so lazy and irresponsible? What if I still can't work? ”

Despite all my explanations and exhortations, he would ask me the same question every hour or two.

"I used to be too casual and waste my time on these useless things, so I ended up with nothing now."

"I want to quit my job and go back to my hometown right away. Even if we are cured, we will not be able to live in Beijing anymore. ”

After seeking medical attention

【Day 1】

After taking the drug, the suspected side effects include nausea, belching, vomiting, and fatigue.

For treatment, he has been torn between persistence and giving up, and has asked me several times to stop taking the drug.

(Author's note: He was skeptical and hesitant about treatment until the drug finally took effect.) In order to persuade him to seek medical treatment, his wife and I tried both hard and soft measures, and he finally agreed; I really walked into the hospital, and I struggled for several days.

On the day of the doctor's appointment, early in the morning, I helped him register his number and went to work, telling him to wait patiently and not run around. Unexpectedly, he said, "I don't think I'm depressed yet, I don't need to see a doctor." I'll leave as soon as you leave! ”

I was so angry that I called her wife: "Come on! I still have to go to work, so I don't have time to watch for you! "Poor his wife, who had to take a four- or five-month-old child, had no choice but to keep calling him before he could stay and see a doctor.

The doctor diagnosed him with depression and anxiety, and prescribed antidepressants, anxiolytics, and short-acting sleeping pills. ）

【Day 2】

He was groggy and unable to speak, and lay in bed almost all day. I persuaded him for an hour before he would eat dinner. Reported feeling worse than before, losing motivation in life, and blurred vision.

Supplemental sleep: I went to bed at 10 o'clock last night, woke up once in the middle of the night, then fell asleep again, and woke up at 6 o'clock this morning.

[Day 3]

There were no symptoms of nausea or vomiting the next day, and there was no other discomfort in the body except that the eyes could not focus and the straining to see. I felt that the quality of sleep was better than the first day, and I continued to fall asleep after waking up once in the middle, and got up at 6:30 in the morning. In total, I slept for less than 8 hours.

【Day 4】

I didn't sleep well at night, and I woke up at 3 a.m. and didn't fall asleep again. I feel very heavy, and I lie down during the day except for eating and going to the toilet.

I started to add medicine today, and I was in a cloudy mood for a few minutes in the morning.

[Day 5]

On the first day of dosing, there was not much discomfort. The vision has improved, and I can see near objects clearly, and I still have double vision when I see distant scenes.

In the afternoon, with my encouragement, he was willing to go out for a walk and walked for more than an hour.

Before going to bed at night, I flipped out the photos on my phone to show him, reminiscing about the old times, and he was very happy, as if he had gone back to the past. It was the first time in two or three months that I had seen him smile from the bottom of his heart.

But I didn't sleep well at night, and I didn't fall asleep after waking up at 3 o'clock.

[Day 6]

Take a one-hour walk in the morning. Occasional happy feelings, but fleeting.

My emotions went up and down, and I was asked repeatedly like a monk chanting, "What if it's not good?" How do you know it's going to be good? When can I stop taking the drug? Can I just take sleeping pills? ”

Sleep from 10 to 4 at night.

[Day 7]

Take an hour walk after breakfast. In the morning, he was quite nervous, but in the afternoon he gradually relaxed. I suddenly felt hungry, so I dragged him downstairs to forage for food, and he proposed to eat pancakes. That's a huge step forward! In normal times, he would definitely not be in a state, or whisper in my ear that he would stop taking the drug or something.

As soon as the hot pancakes arrived, he snatched them up and took a big bite. We also ate the meat of the donkey that we had not seen for a long time, and it reminded him of his life before the birth of the child.

After the afternoon, he had little anxiety.

But I still didn't sleep well at night, and woke up at 3 o'clock. He had woken up at three or four in the morning for four days in a row.

(Author's note: If a patient wants to eat, has an interest, and has a desire, it is a sign that the condition is getting better.) He was supposed to be effective from the seventh day. The speed that was faster than I expected may have something to do with the fact that he is a single depression that is easier to deal with. In most cases, you need to take the medication for 6 to 8 weeks. If it still doesn't work, it means that the medicine is not the right symptom, and the medicine should be changed. ）

[Day 8]

Continue to go out for a walk today. The ghosting is not so bad anymore. The nanny was on vacation, and he was in good spirits and helped me take care of the baby. In the afternoon, I watched TV with great interest.

At around 9 o'clock in the evening, he suddenly came to me excitedly and said, "I was lying in bed and thinking about the things that bothered me in the past, and it didn't seem so bad." I suddenly wanted to watch a live ball game at 10 p.m. Does this mean that I'm okay? ”

(Author's note: It's really getting better.) From wanting to eat pancakes and fruits last day to wanting to watch a football game today, from material needs to cultural needs, it shows that the channels of desire and interest in the brain are being opened. ）

[Day 9]

Nothing special has changed today, yesterday's good form didn't last. When I went out for a walk in the morning, I deliberately observed his pace, which was still as slow as a snail.

[Day 10]

Today, for some reason, he was depressed again and lay down all morning. In the afternoon I chatted with him, and it was better, and I watched a ball game.

Sleep: Wake up at 3 o'clock at night, then go back to sleep and wake up at 5 o'clock.

(Author's note: These two days are volatile, which is normal and unavoidable.) ）

[Day 11]

The mood is okay, he will spend some time with the baby every day these days.

In the afternoon, I did two things that I didn't expect, one was to watch the news, and the other was to go for a run in the park. However, due to physical exhaustion, I came back in less than half an hour. I advised him to persevere, no matter how difficult it was.

[Day 12]

In the morning, he cried inexplicably, and when he asked why, he said that he couldn't find the feeling of caring for his family, and he couldn't help but feel sad.

He asked me if he had been a person without a sense of responsibility before. I reassured that it was not. It seems that his sense of self-identity is low, and there is a bit of a resurgence.

In the afternoon, he saw a post on Tianya called "The Secret of Depression". The article is slightly longer, and he studied it all night, and the more he read it, the better his mood.

He said that he has had many of the experiences mentioned in the article, such as that after getting sick, it was like two selves fighting for control of his brain, one an angel and one a devil. When he was in a very bad mood, he tried to solve it by imagining the angel defeating the devil, and it was quite effective.

Sleep status: fell asleep at 12 o'clock, woke up at 5:40 a.m. and slept until 7:30 a.m., and could feel that he slept well.

[Day 13]

He had a good night's sleep the first day, and he woke up in good spirits in the morning. Between last night and sometime this morning, he had a sudden sense of getting better and being reborn.

He said that the past three months have been like a dream, a play, and now the dream has woken up and ended. These crazy three months have clearly divided his life into three phases, and he feels like a new person now.

When I went to the mall with him in the morning, I obviously felt that he was walking faster than me, and I stopped several times to wait for me.

However, he was not in a good mood in the morning when he encountered something troublesome in the afternoon. I think it's normal.

[Day 14]

He was in good shape, leisurely browsing the news in the morning, walking and taking the baby as usual in the afternoon, and watching a live ball game in the evening.

Sleep: Slept well, woke up twice, and fell asleep again. I woke up in the morning and didn't feel like I had enough sleep.

[Day 15]

The family is busy with the change of nanny, and he will be upset whenever he encounters something similar or specific.

He was more confused that although he was no longer anxious, he was not happy. He tried to lay down on a piece of paper what bothered him every day and what made him happy, but it didn't have much effect.

[Day 16]

I started to think about the problem of my child going to kindergarten and elementary school in the future, and I felt that I had no clue.

I told him not to think too far ahead, just to be ready for the next year or two.

[Day 17]

Almost completely back to normal, resolute and decisive in speaking and acting, without hesitation.

That's it for my friend's diary. The so-called "heal the scar and forget the pain", as soon as the illness is better, I don't want to remember.

Still, happy for her! I wish the patient to continue treatment until a complete recovery.

The significance of this case is to tell people that depression is not difficult to cure as long as it is correctly diagnosed and treated. A big dream, just a different kind of life!

(Author's note: In life, people often have to make perceptions and judgments about the environment in which they live.) Some are in line with reality and can guide the direction of work and life well; Others deviate from reality to the point of making the wrong choice and causing themselves a lot of trouble. This is called cognitive distortion. Common cognitive distortions include: either/or, partial generalization, negative positive thinking, sensory filtering, premature conclusions, exaggeration or minimization, emotional reasoning, and indiscriminate labeling. ）

One depressed patient reported in his illness: "I walked down the street and felt that everyone was doing better than me. ”