On the night of February 16, 2013, a person with the screen name "sie."

A Sena", who posted a last word on her Weibo, was later confirmed to have committed suicide.

Her last words were just over 400 words, calm, rational, clear, and painful. I watched it many times, and in addition to being sad and regretful, I felt that she had a lot of misunderstandings about depression. If not, maybe she would have been able to persevere and come out of the darkness. Therefore, I will do some analysis of her last words, thinking that later generations will learn from her.

First record her last words, a total of two paragraphs:

I'm sorry that I left without having time to deal with and explain a lot of things. Depression is too painful, the world has become dark and distorted, no matter how hard you try, you can't feel any beauty, and you think of death for everything. Grandma is calling me, I should be schizophrenic, I can't stand it. Goodbye, everyone.

It's not that the news reports usually say that you can't think about it or that some kind of stress is too much to take your life. I have been depressed for many years, and I have not been able to fully feel the pleasure and pursuit of normal people, but I just think that I am indifferent and passive by nature. Three days after a high fever on New Year's Day, he began to experience a depression outbreak, insomnia all night, all his interests and desires disappeared, he resisted communication, became sloppy and lazy, and his physical and mental state deteriorated comprehensively. Before the Spring Festival, he was diagnosed with severe depression in Anding Hospital, and has lost most of his memory, thinking, communication and behavior abilities, has no sense of direction, cannot organize language and writing, his brain seems to have been kidnapped, and it is difficult to even order food and send emails smoothly, and the side effects of drug treatment are more like a vicious dog biting his body and mind. Now that the consciousness is on the verge of splitting, admission to the hospital is the only option, but I understand that the treatment of this mental cancer is time-consuming, costly, and the effect is difficult to guarantee, even if they are fortunate enough to be cured, it is difficult for the ex-mentally ill patients who have lost their ability to work to make a living in today's society, and they are even more afraid of long-term medication and the shadow of recurrence at any time for life. Knowing that they do not belong to the strong-willed population, they are unable to continue to dwell on the horrific experiences that continue day and night, and they do not want to live in discussion and sympathy, nor do they want to increase the mental and financial burden of long-term care for vulnerable family members. I understand both the responsibility and the truth, and I have tried to save myself, but my body and mind are out of self-control, and I am always plagued by despair and powerlessness, and the pain of sliding into the dark abyss is really unbearable. Please understand my struggle and helplessness, and forgive me for my selfishness and cowardice. Goodbye, love you.

"The world has become dark and distorted, no matter how hard you try, you can't feel any beauty, and you think of death for everything. Grandma is calling me, I should be schizophrenic, I can't stand it. Goodbye, everyone. ”

Analysis: Although both schizophrenia and depression are related to neurotransmitters, they are two completely different disorders. Schizophrenia has been speculated to be an imbalance of the neurotransmitter dopamine in the brain, and depression has been speculated to be an imbalance of the neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine. In layman's terms, they are two cars running on the road and will not meet. Depression cannot turn into schizophrenia, and schizophrenia does not turn into depression.

Of course, depression is severe enough to cause psychiatric symptoms, called "depression with psychiatric symptoms"; Patients with schizophrenia may have a depressive state before the onset of the disease, and they may also have depressive symptoms during the recovery period. But the two are not compatible.

Sena said "Grandma is calling me", which should be a pseudo-auditory hallucination, which is essentially different from schizophrenic delusions and hallucinations. Schizophrenia is mentioned twice in Senna's last words, and how deplorable it is if the fear of impending schizophrenia is one of the reasons she chose to commit suicide!

"Treating this mental cancer is time-consuming, costly, and ineffective......"

Analysis: The theory of "mental cancer" is really scaring oneself. Although depression is terrible, statistics at home and abroad have shown that one-third of patients with depression can be completely cured and will not relapse for life.

If the patient sees a doctor in time, cooperate with the treatment; If you are lucky, with the right medicine, you can be relieved or even cured within a month at the earliest.

"Even if they are lucky enough to be cured, it is difficult for ex-psychopaths who have lost their ability to work to make a living in today's society......"

Analysis: Depression is not a mental illness, just an emotional disorder. Don't put yourself in the hat of psychopathy. Moreover, depression is only a functional disorder of the brain, not an organic lesion, not a permanent damage.

Sena recounted that during her illness, she "lost most of her ability to remember, think, communicate, and act, had no sense of direction, was unable to organize her words, her brain seemed to have been kidnapped, and she could not even order food and send emails" – a brutal but true account. But it's all reversible. After recovery, intelligence, memory, decision-making, etc., will not be affected in any way. How smart it was, and how smart it was.

"I am more afraid of long-term medication and the shadow of a recurrence at any time......

Analysis: The recurrence rate of depression is indeed high, but there is a reason for the recurrence. One of the main reasons for this is self-discontinuation. If you can follow the doctor's instructions, take medication consistently, and carry out appropriate psychological treatment, you will generally not relapse.

Of course, taking medication consistently is easier said than done. Especially after recovering from the disease, it is not easy to continue taking medication.

"Now that consciousness is on the verge of splitting, admission to the hospital is the only option......"

Analysis: Hospitalization is not scary. If the patient is critically ill, hospitalization will have more treatment. For example, non-convulsive electroconvulsive therapy (MECT) does not have too much pain and has a quick effect. Combined with medication and psychotherapy, even severe patients can quickly get rid of depression.

Morita therapy is mainly suitable for obsessive-compulsive disorder, social phobia, generalized anxiety, panic attacks, etc., and its essence is eight words: "Go with the flow and do what you should do." ”