If you can "know yourself and know your opponent", you will transform unfavorable factors into favorable factors, improve the probability of your own smooth behavior, and make your life shine.

The so-called "confidant" is to conscientiously summarize one's own strengths and weaknesses, and the so-called "knowing one's opponent" is to grasp the strengths and weaknesses of others through in-depth understanding and careful analysis. Promote your own strengths and avoid your own shortcomings; Take advantage of the enemy's shortcomings, control the strengths of others, realize everything to my advantage, and finally make yourself free to spin on the stage of life.

□ skillfully provoked Johnson to behave in a good way

As the saying goes, "It is better to send a general than to provoke a general." The process of agitation is an inevitable process of "knowing oneself and knowing one's opponent" after careful analysis, and the result can only be victory in hand.

People's self-esteem, reputation, honor, ability...... can be used as a weapon in the "Radical Method".

Johnson, a wealthy black American, decided to build an office building for his company's headquarters in Chicago, and went to countless banks, but never got a single loan.

On this day, Johnson and a director of MetLife Insurance Company were having dinner together in New York City. When Johnson brought out a blueprint that he often carried with him and was about to spread it out on the table, the insurance company director said to Johnson, "We can't talk about it here, come to my office tomorrow." ”

The next day, when Johnson concluded that the Mets had a good chance of giving him a mortgage, he said: "Great, the only problem is my promise today to get a loan from South Africa." ”

"You must be kidding, we never promised to give such a loan in a day." The director of the insurance company replied.

Johnson pulled his chair closer and said, "You're the head of this department." Maybe you should try to see if you have enough authority to get this done in one day. ”

The other party smiled and said, "You're forcing me to go to Liangshan, but let me try." ”

After he tried, what he thought he couldn't do was finally done, and Johnson returned to Chicago a few hours before the money ran out.

To persuade others with agitation, be sure to find and hit the opponent's vital point, and force him to comply. In this case, the key is the director's sense of dignity for his own power.

Johnson hinted in the conversation that he doubted that the supervisor really had that much power, and when the director heard this, he felt that the majesty of his power was being challenged. In the end, the director lived up to his expectations.

Use the method of agitation to persuade others, be sure to find and hit the harm, so that he can fight forward in the midst of the sting. So that their work can be twice the result with half the effort.

Of course, the use of agitation should also grasp the timing and proportion. If you speak too early, the time is not ripe enough, and it is easy to discourage people. If the speech is too late, the good opportunity has passed, and it has become an "afterthought" again, and it will not have the desired effect. Only when used at the right time can the effect be significant.

□ understanding is a good medicine for life

The "knowing oneself and knowing one's enemy" in the art of war is applied to dealing with the world, which is the rather touching sentence "Long live understanding".

If there is a lack of understanding between people, misunderstandings will arise. Why is this happening? Because people often have a tendency to judge other reactions by their own reactions, that is, to treat others with their own hearts. Even in the family, parents and children have different personalities, different views, or similar personalities but are not able to recognize this, which can lead to various conflicts.

When asked by a talented and enterprising 24-year-old teacher, he replied, "Yes!" …… My mother...... In fact, I have decided to leave my family this weekend. The teacher explained to him, "Your behavior seems to be very similar to your mother's behavior, just as when two magnetic forces at the same pole interact with each other, they resist and repel each other. You will be able to determine how she will treat her based on how she is treated, and you may be able to evaluate your mother's feelings by analyzing your own feelings. Because you can easily solve your problems. The teacher told him, "If you can understand the similarities between your mother's personality and your own, take the initiative to make some friendly and positive gestures, for example, when she tells you what to do, you do it happily; When she gives you advice, you are honest in saying what you think or fully accepting it; When she gets angry, you say nice things and so on, and in this way, a happy effect is achieved. ”

A week later, when the teacher asked the young man again, he replied: "I am very high, and during this week we have not spoken a word unpleasantly between us, you know?" I've decided to stay home. ”

Sometimes, family conflicts arise because parents do not recognize that time changes both themselves and their children. Therefore, they cannot adjust themselves to the changes of the children and themselves.

A lawyer and his wife have five children, but they are not happy because the eldest son, a first-year college student, cannot live the way they are prescribed. They want their daughter to learn to do housework or go to a department store to exercise, but she likes to play the piano and doesn't like housework. This girl is ambitious, capable, and has her own characteristics, and wants to live her life on her own terms, and does not want to obey her father. As for her parents, she thinks that playing the piano is a waste of time, and as a girl, there will always be a day when she will get married and take care of the family, so she should be practical.

Parents think one way, and daughters think another, making it difficult for both of them to understand. But when the three of them committed themselves to getting to know each other, they got along.

It can be seen that mutual understanding is the key to resolving family conflicts and disputes, and is an important condition for family happiness. Only by knowing oneself and knowing one's opponent can we win all battles and solve all thorny problems.

Understanding others, starting from the perspective of others, considering others, and at the same time giving the other party a chance to understand themselves, open their hearts, and tolerate others, will not only enhance the emotions of both parties, but more importantly, in such communication and reasoning, they also have a happiness, which is a virtue of being in the world.