If a person can "fight the virtual with the real", on the one hand, he can convince the opponent, and on the other hand, he can also establish credit for himself. If you always use virtual things to hit real things, it will give people an ethereal feeling and make you lose the initiative.

□ strive to take the initiative to resolve the predicament

To err is human? As long as you take the initiative to admit your mistakes, deeply blame and reflect, and are not afraid that others will know about it, and you are not afraid that you will not be able to raise your head, you will be able to recover your losses.

When people make mistakes and mistakes in work and life, do they happily admit their self-blame, or do they hide it and hide it?

Smart people tend to choose the former. Because, self-blame from the heart, you can take the initiative to effectively reduce the harm caused by mistakes, and skillfully relieve the predicament you are facing.

In August 1946, a certain unit of the East China People's Liberation Army failed to attack the enemy, suffered heavy casualties, and its morale was low. Chen Yi said to everyone: "In the past three months, the war has not been good, not because the troops are bad, not because the divisions and regiments are not good, not because the field staff office is not good, but mainly because I am not the commander-in-chief, and I admit my mistakes to the vast number of commanders and fighters. The whole army was deeply moved by Chen Yi's broad spirit, and the resentment in his heart was swept away, and he later won several battles in a row.

Therefore, when the cause is frustrated, the masses are depressed, or they are in danger, those who have the responsibility of setting the leadership blame themselves can have the effect of inspiring and boosting morale.

Of course, with the exception of those private problems that are only suitable for being resolved on a small scale, self-blame dares to show ugliness, is not afraid of losing face, and is carried out openly on a large scale as much as possible.

Zhang Haoruo, the former governor of Sichuan Province, was invited to attend a symposium on higher education reform, but because the organizer of the conference did not notify the meeting address, he was half an hour late. Although his tardiness was caused by objective reasons, Governor Zhang made the following speech: "I am half an hour late today, and I cannot forgive myself for any reason. If we do not resolutely change this trend of procrastination, what else will we reform and open up? ”

As soon as he finished speaking, the participants responded with warm applause and admiration. Everyone said one after another that we must start from the current difficulties and problems and do a good job in the province's educational reform.

It goes without saying that the slightest mistake is caused by objective reasons, but the person concerned immediately goes into open self-criticism, which will naturally be praised by the masses and will also be conducive to the continuous development of our revolution to a new stage. Because these sincere self-criticisms are respectable, convincing, and encouraging.

Because he took the initiative to blame himself and adopted the "first move" policy, he not only showed his courage and fairness, but also showed his sincerity and determination to make amends, and he will inevitably get the understanding and support of others, so as to recover his losses.

□ avoid the real and attack the false, and move people with emotion

In the world, there are often some small frictions with others, how can we avoid verbal wars and skillfully achieve the goal of reconciliation? How to compete with the other party in a situation that is not allowed by the ability? This requires "avoiding the real and attacking the false, and moving people with emotion".

During the Great Depression in the United States, a 17-year-old girl managed to find a job as a salesperson in a fine jewelry store.

On the day before Christmas, a poor customer in his 30s came to the store.

His ragged clothes, his face sad and angry, he stared at the expensive fine jewelry on the counter with an unattainable gaze.

At this moment, the girl was about to answer the phone, and accidentally knocked over a plate, and six exquisite gold rings fell to the ground.

She hurriedly picked up five of them, but couldn't find the sixth.

At this time, she saw the 30-year-old man walking towards the door, and suddenly she realized where the ring was.

As the man's hand was about to touch the handle, the girl cried softly:

"I'm sorry, sir!"

The man turned, and the two looked at each other speechless for a full minute.

"What's the matter?"

He asked, the muscles in his face twitching.

"What's the matter?"

He asked again, with an indescribable look of apprehension.

"Sir, this is my first job, and it's hard to find something to do right now, isn't it?"

The girl said with a gloomy expression, her eyes filled with tears of sorrow.

The man looked at her for a long time, and finally, a soft smile appeared on his face.

"Yes, it does." He replied.

"But I think you're going to do a good job here."

After a pause, he stepped forward and reached out to shake her.

"Can I bless you?"

He turned around and walked slowly towards the door.

The girl watched his figure disappear through the door, turned to the counter, and put a gold ring back in her hand.

There was no criticism, no rebuke, but the girl succeeded in getting back the gold ring that the young man had picked up.

If this girl is tough, if the ring is not returned, it will inevitably leave a bad impression on the store.

□ judged the situation and heard a lot of speeches

In dealing with the world, we should judge the heat according to the psychology of the other party, adopt different countermeasures, and deal with different situations.

On the day of May Fourth in 1945, Yunnan University held a commemorative meeting on the playground.

There were a lot of people in attendance, and everyone was very enthusiastic.

At the beginning of the conference, the weather was not beautiful, and it was raining. Many people rushed to avoid it, and order began to be chaotic.

The person presiding over the meeting shouted:

"Don't move, everyone stand up, it's time for a meeting! ……”

The effect is still not great.

At this time, Wen Yiduo happened to be on the podium, and the host asked him to come forward to boost morale.

Wen Yiduo stood up and preached to the crowd that was moving in all directions:

"Students! Let me tell you all a story. More than 2,000 years ago, Zhou Wu decided to revolt and overthrow the tyrant King Xu.

On the day of the army, as we do now, it suddenly began to rain. Xu Ren felt very unlucky and suggested that King Wu reschedule.

At this time, the divination person said that he was a staff officer, and he came out, and he said that this is not a bad thing, this is the 'Heavenly Washing Army', it is God who helps us, and the dust on the weapon must be cleaned, and the enemy is more powerful!

We also encountered such an opportunity today, this is the Heavenly Wash Soldiers! Come on the people who are not cowardly! Come closer! Brave people stand up! ……”

Mr. Wen Yiduo's words touched people's hearts, everyone stopped moving, and the meeting started smoothly.

In the case of sudden rain, Mr. Wen Yiduo skillfully borrowed the allusion of King Wu to cut down the teacher "Tianxi", which made people deeply encouraged, thus inhibiting the act of sheltering from the rain, and people braved the rain to speak, in order.

Mr. Wen Yiduo has a skill. According to the sudden situation, he played on the topic and showed a high degree of wisdom and talent. Strain, also known as improvisation, can effectively attract the attention of the other party and ensure the normal progress of the activity with the topic of emergencies.

Psychology believes that sudden events and stimuli are important factors to attract people's attention, and when these sudden stimuli appear, people will be attracted and ignore the ongoing work, so blindly persuading people not to pay attention to sudden stimuli is not ideal.

Mr. Wen Yiduo did not shout anxiously like the host of the meeting, but talked about the allusion of "Tianxi Bing" with the theme of "rain", which adapted to the attention characteristics of the audience, and he extended the meaning of "Don't be cowardly, bravely accept the 'Tianxi Army', and fight against the dark forces like King Wu's war", which cleverly buckled the theme of the conference.

Mr. Wen Yiduo was able to speak at any time according to the audience's attention, and finally made the situation in the venue stable.