Some people are good-looking, well-dressed, and dignified, but they often have a strong sense of jealousy. A narrow-minded person, no matter how good your face and figure are, others will not praise you, but will criticize you, saying that you have a bad personality, a bad temper, etc.; Only the first time you meet, you may make a good impression on the surface, and then everyone forgets what you look like and only remembers your disgusting words and deeds. On the other hand, no matter how ugly a person looks like, as long as he has a kind and compassionate heart, although the first feeling of the senses is not very bright, but slowly due to his good heart and decent words and deeds, he will also infect others and leave a good impression on people.

We say that as long as you have a good heart, then on the path of life and on the path to Buddhahood, you will have a smooth future. But if we have evil thoughts, nothing will go well with it. Lama Tsongkhapa once said, "If you have a good heart, then the way of seeing and seeing is flat; If you have bad hatred, then seeing and saying are evil. Therefore, the main source of good and evil is the heart, not words and deeds, because the heart is the dominant one, and words and deeds are in accordance with the thoughts of the heart.

Of course, if a person is very kind-hearted, but often has an unforgiving mouth, it will also be very annoying. If someone says to you, "I have good intentions for you," but every time they speak badly to you, you will hate that person over time. So, not only do we have to have a beautiful heart, but we also have to improve our language. The Buddha taught us to speak "skilful language," which is beautiful language. Change your words and deeds through the change of your own mind, and try to let your words and body follow the good heart, so as to avoid hurting others. You don't hurt others, and others don't hurt you for no reason. If someone hurts you once, you don't have any resentment towards him, and after the second or third time, he will feel very guilty. And if someone hurts you once, you hurt him again, and the other party comes to hurt you again, like this, just like the ancients said "when's the time"!

When a person wants to bully you, it is like a palm shaking in the sky, you don't reach out to take his palm, his hand is shaking there alone, and finally when he gets tired, he will naturally put it down. If he is not satisfied with you, you ignore him, you don't care about him, you turn a blind eye, and when he gets tired, you don't have that ability.

When we encounter some people who are dissatisfied with us or slander us, we can be merciful and merciful, and those who can't be merciful should be left alone, and over time there will be no dissatisfaction or slander against us. Sometimes when the relationship between neighbors is not good, the husband and wife do not get along well, the children do not get along well with their parents, and the boss does not get along well with the employees, if you feel that the other party is making trouble, you should tell the other party what the truth is and explain the matter clearly. If the negative situation continues and repeats itself and becomes harmful, you should not see him for a while – this is the best way to do it.

Of course, it would be best if you had the ability to subdue the other person and get rid of his bad habits, or you could also let him practice well with you and change his thinking. If he can't change and you're trying to change him, then measure your ability and act according to your ability. If you can't do it, don't take his hands, which is also a method of cultivation. The Chinese talk about forbearance, and the Buddha said the same. Because the most difficult thing to practice is forbearance, if you can endure it, you will endure it, and if you can't bear it, you will try to give it up for the time being. Be familiar with the other person's habits like this, and after that, you will be fine, so that it will not cause you more harm. This is the mindset we need to have as Buddhists, and it's an easy way to improve our mood.

The secret of self-cultivation is to start with the cultivation of the mind. A person who wants to live a long and healthy life, if he does not purify himself from the spiritual level, then negative emotions will also make him often unrestful or sick, so it is useless to take more supplements. Therefore, the truly most valuable tonic in the world is to be kind and open-minded to all the impermanence in the world.