The other side

I was a little reluctant to leave.

From the first encounter, when I was in military training, when I was a freshman in high school, I was able to talk about current affairs when so many people were talking about games, which made my eyes shine. Because my parents were doing business in Luhua Province, they couldn't take care of me and my younger brother, so they entrusted me to my grandparents in my hometown in Suhe Province. I'm an introvert myself, although I have a few friends back home. In Changchun City, life is even more unfamiliar, and the sense of loneliness and uprooting is even deeper. Although I was a little angry, I was intrigued by the feeling of being strange in the crowd, because I hated people who would just cater to others and follow the crowd. Actually, I'm a little angry, but I usually don't have the right people to talk to. Just like that, I couldn't help but interject and talk.

The two of us chatted very opportunistically, and I even preferred to talk to him more than anyone else, and he didn't comment on Dan's novels according to preconceived impressions (I don't like gays, and I don't rot, but Dan's plot is really good, and I can say that I like the feeling of a younger brother-like male being a reliable big brother (laughs)), but he listens to my Amway, and even though it may be different from his favorite subject matter, he still reads it carefully and communicates with me.

He works hard, and although he doesn't show it to others, he usually looks close to his achievements and seems to have an almost paranoid obsession with his results. After all, it's my favorite "companion" and I still don't want him to be so monotonous, he has made a difference in my life, so I hope I can also color his life.

To be honest, although I received all kinds of knowledge about love and even sex from the Internet and books, I didn't trust this kind of relationship very much. My parents left me and chose my younger brother, and the family affection is the same, so what if you like it? I know I have more affection for this boy than I do for anyone else, and I can't help but care about him as much as he cares about me. Despite always nagging, it's many times better than those who will only say that kind of greasy thing to me, and that kind of person is the type of drifter I hate the most.

I couldn't help but tease him on my birthday, but I just wanted to make sure as soon as possible what he had chosen. It wasn't until I received those two bags of glasses cloth and books that although I lied, that "Supporting Mankind" was not what I wanted to read the most during that time, but Liu Cixin's sci-fi series was basically my preference, and I was relieved that he was indeed not the kind of person who went with the flow, but seriously considered my preferences. But I don't know if he likes it or not, whether I think so or I give this style of gift, it's too different from me. Although I am more confident in taking care of my clothes and makeup, even though my skin is more prone to allergies and I don't use cosmetics much, I am still confident, but it is difficult to say about women's power.

Whether it's the scarf handed to him in winter, or the blackboard to relieve him, we spend the end of the first semester of high school together。。。。。。 It's all precious memories we all share.

Although I rejected him on Chinese New Year's Eve that year, I did have a deep affection for him, and I just couldn't get over this in my heart, and the knot left by my parents almost made me feel insecure. I'm really selfish enough, I don't want to let go of him if I refuse him to hurt him, I take advantage of his tenderness, I know that he can't rest assured of me, he has a protective desire for the girl he likes, as long as I convey to him so almost pleading that I want him to accompany me, he will never refuse.

In the days that followed, I knew that our relationship was not friends at all, and I took advantage of his tenderness to play ambiguous games.

It wasn't until the middle of the second semester of my sophomore year that the boy in my class pestered me.

Yes, he's not my type at all, a bit of a silly pot head. I buy milk tea every day, I really don't want to accept anyone's gifts casually, I forcibly buy it and throw it to me, I am really distressed about how to deal with it. He even bought a cake for my birthday and waited for me downstairs in the dorm to pick it up, I hated this way of being eye-catching, and those birthday presents, terrible hair ties and hair accessories, saying they wanted to see me wear them to him. I don't want to tell Ah Zhuo that this kind of thing can't trouble him anymore, it's selfish enough, but I forgot his best friend Ye Qing. It's good he didn't get into trouble for me. Just like when I was asked to go into the security room to rest, threatened him in the name of my "cousin", and then pestered me to tell my parents and class teacher, and ran to the door of our class classroom for more than a week to run to the open "joint", although it was very difficult to panic some people in front of the class, but thanks to the boy is the kind of little gangster who bullies the soft and is afraid of the hard, he himself is to borrow from our school, he is afraid of causing trouble and will be expelled.

I know I can't be selfish like this, it's up to me to change our relationship, and I'm going to try to get over that.

Calling her to the house, by the way, hinted that my parents weren't at home, and I knew he wouldn't do anything to me, but I wanted to pry something in this extreme way. But I was rejected, and I was rejected before I had a chance to export. I'm sad in my heart, but let's just continue to play that ambiguous game, and that's fine.

Return

Since then, I've maintained a half-lukewarm relationship with Lu Lianxue, and it can be said that it has reached the standard of a true friend of the opposite sex.

August 18, 2018

Ding dong.

Cine wrote.

"The summer vacation is almost over, ah~ I haven't written much homework yet, and the tutoring class my dad is looking for feels like that a few times."

"Hmm??? Haven't finished your homework yet? And didn't we say I'll make up for you? Then I can't help it. ”

"Isn't that busy?"

"Hmm??? I'm not taking you out to play, liar. ”

There was silence.

"Okay, okay, come to Wanyue City tomorrow. (The library in the center of Ivy City offers a large number of seats for self-study). ”

"Huh?"

"Teach me, but I'll be free tomorrow."

"Okay, then I'll go and prepare something to tell you. I'll go early tomorrow, because it's only the second floor in the library to find a place to talk, so I'll have to grab it. ”

"What time do you want to go? I'm with you. ”

"No need, I don't open the door in the morning, and I queue up outside to be cold."

"Hmm~"

"Okay, all you have to do is get enough sleep and come to the lecture with a full sense of energy. Hurry up and get ready for bed. ”

6:30 on the 17th

I forced myself through my sleep and got out of bed. I didn't fall asleep well last night, maybe I was excited and excited? I'm too lazy to think about it, no, maybe I'm just avoiding it.

In the midsummer of August, the cool breeze in the early morning can still blow people awake. My parents are away all year round, and I naturally have no one to report what I have to do when I get up so early today.

On the way, I bought a cup of hot porridge, two steamed buns and a tea egg. It's really early at half past six, and the library is crowded with people before the door opens at 9 o'clock, and there is no one at the door.

7 points.

Except for one or two people who had already arrived and were waiting at the door, I leaned against the floor-to-ceiling window, covering my mouth wide open from sleepiness and yawning with my hands, and at the same time reciting the words I had planned to memorize. Although I am usually used to being alone, I am a little lonely at this time.

Squatting until 9 o'clock, I finally arrived on the second floor as the first to pass through security, and occupied the idle area on the second floor - only a corner of two tables, this place is really popular, and the uncle who followed me also occupies this place.

I repeatedly looked at the parts that I had crossed out in the tutorial books and textbooks, and planned the order in which I would explain the poems.

9:05.

Shibai sent a message saying that as soon as he got up, he would quickly get dressed and rush to the BRT (Bus Rapid Transit, the city's main road is specially planned for buses and other special types of vehicles, and only special types of buses are allowed to pass. Although I said that I should not be in a hurry and pay attention to safety, I actually felt a little lost in my heart.

Before Shibai arrived, three girls said they wanted to borrow a seat because they really didn't have a place to sit. To be honest, it's okay to deal with outsiders, but I really don't have a problem with girls, although I clearly said that I took it for others, but they said that they would leave when they came. I thought that if Shibai came, if he didn't leave, he wouldn't bombard them again, so I didn't say much. Thankfully, they left before then, because she arrived too late.

11 o'clock.

"Ten minutes, got on the bike (๑•̀ω•́๑)"

"Well, stay safe."

I figured she was coming, but I subconsciously thought that it would be stupid not to look forward to it, and I was too embarrassed to look at the girl, so I decided to pretend not to care and look down at the book. But in fact, the area I'm in is close to the elevator, so I can't help but glance at almost every person coming up, and it took almost eight minutes for me to just stare at the book. In the last two minutes, perhaps the expectation was paralyzed, and I didn't even glance at it.

Suddenly, I was tapped twice on the shoulder and looked in that direction.

Yes, a single ponytail hairstyle with bangs that has never changed, a white sweatshirt with suspender jeans, a hairband with a fluffy ornament on the hand, and a faint fragrance (later I learned that it turned out to be hand cream) left in the air. Although the eyes are a little small, they are still cute, and this familiar and distant face makes me feel as if time has never flowed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't expect Wanyue City to be so far from the drop-off point, and then I slept late last night, I was wrong!"

It was the first time I consciously listened to her speak face to face, and for a moment her sweet voice took the words I wanted to reprimand a little, and looking at her face, I was a little overwhelmed and looked at each other for half a minute.

She playfully waved her hand in front of my eyes, as if to confirm whether I was stupid or not, "Hmph~ You begged me to come, oh, I don't even know how to let me sit down!" ”

"Oh, you sit."

She naturally came to me.

"You sit opposite, I'll tell you, I don't read very well around me." Actually, I'm just a little embarrassed.

She looked at me in surprise, "Are you really going to give a lecture?" ”

"Nonsense, isn't it just to give you a lecture that I tossed so much? Hurry up, hurry up, you're late, we have 7 hours left. Actually, I was surprised to hear her statement, but I didn't pursue it.

"Huh? Don't eat. ”

"I didn't even want to eat it. Hurry up! I pouted at her.

The first hour was relatively smooth, Shibai listened more carefully, and his note-taking hand didn't stop for a moment (probably?). ）。

12:30 p.m.

All I could see was a ball with black hair on top and a chemistry textbook underneath.

"Ahhhh

"No, the progress is not enough, and you looked at your phone for twenty minutes halfway. Twenty minutes later you will be given the right to re-appeal. "I've also gradually gotten used to Shibai, and talking to her is like on Cine in the past, and even breaking my previous record that I could only look at a girl for a short while, and then I couldn't see a girl's face at all.

Although it's cute no matter how you look at it, I still look numb, plus this stupid guy always slows down the progress, and in my heart it has become a cute + scoundrel image.

"I don't want it, I don't have the strength to eat~ And isn't the most important thing in learning efficiency, so the mud will become the image of the teacher you hate the most. What are you doing, poking it like this will dent in. "Yes, she's so cute, I still can't help but poke her dimples.

Although "what are you doing" seems to be fierce, but the expression is still hippie smile, which is more cute, right? "It's concave, it's okay!" I couldn't help but poke a few more times, and she didn't get angry. This is also an advantage over chatting on the Internet. (You can read the facial expressions and get a general idea of Shibai's inverted scales.) ）

"Hmm~ If you don't let me eat again, I'm going to strike, strike!" She said in a soft, almost coquettish voice. Well, I surrendered.

"Then you have to promise me to study hard after eating, hurry up."

I've always been a person who only lives my own life, and I don't think about social things, etiquette things, I think that's hypocritical.

"Where are we going to eat, there is an underground food city downstairs, when I was in the sixth middle school, the reputation of the food city was not bad."

"I don't want to~ You don't think about solving it downstairs quickly, and then go back and continue to torture me. No, I'm going to take a stroll and get some fresh air! ”

"Oh, I don't. Well, I'll admit it. "On the one hand, I was a little shy to take the girls outside, and on the other hand, I was full of how to arrange the course to get the course.

"To the north, I remember there was an Oscar pedestrian street. Rush Rush! ”

The two of us are unexpectedly good, even though Shibai is the enemy of the second dimension (a Korean star who likes feminine beauty. But even if we were alone with her for the first time, we kept talking without any barriers, just like getting along with two best friends, and even because the three views were basically the same, we didn't even have any side of the quarrel.

"Tudai (big) force, this store has a weird name!" As I spoke, I walked in on my own, and vaguely heard Shibai say, "This is a Korean restaurant, I guess it's not cheap." "I thought I'd go in and have a look.

The clerk followed, and I glanced at the prices of the menu, and oh! The double package is 150 yuan, which is what an amazing price. (Because he rarely eats out, and he and Ye Qing share it with the two of them, it is only a meal below the consumption level of 50.) And for the first time, I also unconsciously considered that bringing girls out of my pocket would have to pay for it. Perhaps because of the erosion of ACG culture for a long time, I was able to think about the right thing when no one was correcting it.

"Well, let's look at the menu first, you go and greet the other guests first." Seeing that the waiter was reluctant, I pretended to say to Shibai, "I still have to have something more private, I have to say a few words to my mother on the phone, you look at the menu first." ”

The waiter left in amusement.

"Wow, this price is outrageous, we high school students can really afford it.

But Ao~ If you have any private matters, don't tell me about it first. ”

Seeing her smug expression, I still couldn't help but poke her cheek, this time I didn't resist Oh, maybe it was numb.

"Isn't it stupid, I deliberately pushed her away," I poked my head out to make sure no waiter had actually been called away by another guest. "Hurry up, hurry up, wait, take a good look at anything that has fallen."

"Hmph~ It seems that he is not a nerd who only thinks about studying."

"Okay fool, there's no time to praise me, hurry up." Seeing that her things are almost packed, the people are still there. I grabbed her hand and ran out. It seems that the novel is written for real, and the girl's hands are small and soft, and I can't think of any other adjectives. Ignoring the stares of the other waiters, I pulled her out with all my might. When you reach the door, you let go as if nothing had happened.

Then we went into a rice noodle shop.

The average price of 20 yuan fluctuated around the price, which made both of us breathe a sigh of relief.

After tossing around, she and I looked slightly tired.

I just ordered two chicken soup rice noodles casually.

As soon as he relaxed, Shibai took out his mobile phone, then plugged in the headphone cable, brought one, and estimated that the other ear was "left" for me. The divorce of her parents and the busy and extensive management of her mother made her habit of recreation only through mobile phones come to light.

"What do I see you're playing?" To be honest, I'm a little worried that she plays King Pesticide, after all, this thing has an addictive mechanism, and it may be out of my prejudice, plus I refuse all mobile games, so I feel like girls play this a bit of a rejection.

"The nth (fifth) personality, oh, it's been quite popular recently." I breathed a sigh of relief as if I had put my heart down.

Although I had the comic software open in my hand, I couldn't help but glance at her.

Perhaps it was in the library that my concentration was more inclined to teaching aids than to her face.

Under the neat bangs, there is no grease and powder on the beautiful face, the eyebrows have been trimmed, although it is a single eyelid wrapped in slightly smaller eyes, but the right proportion of the nose and mouth against the backdrop of the cuteness, thinking about her past, my heart is even more pitiful. With a slightly "hideous" expression in the game, a round rim appeared near the masseter muscle, and I couldn't help but laugh as if I was going to fight with someone (the laughter was so small that the two of us could hear it, and of course I had already taken a sneak picture before laughing.) I laughed even more when I thought about it. ）

"Ah, what are you laughing at?"

"No, no, I just thought you were so cute. Oh really!"

"It's useless to praise me, I won't invite you~

Hmph, it's better to say that you shouldn't invite girls. Hmph, it's obvious that someone insisted on me coming~"

"I must have paid for it, what is this, the dignity of a man, the toughness of my brother."

"Hmph, machismo, feudal. I won't let you pay. ”

(In fact, talking to her, even if it's a mocking remark or a little awkwardness, sounds like a joke, but then again, that's how she speaks on Cine.) ）

I used the excuse of going to the toilet and sneaked down to pay for it. To be honest, it was a bit painful to pay for two people for the first time.

It wasn't until I was ready to leave that I told her that I had paid.

Shibai said helplessly: "For the sake of fairness, I'll pay for it next time!" ”

Although I said yes, I still plan to continue to go out next time.

When I went back to the library and saw that she was languishing, I had to agree to let her lie down for half an hour.

After that, the efficiency was not high or low, and the time was half past five. (The closing time of the Wanyue City Library is also half past five.) ）

"Whew~ I'm really trying! I couldn't sit still for so long, I was so tired. ”

"Hmph, I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I'm in a hurry to finish the plan, and you don't have time for the next time. No, if you have nothing else to do today, you can move your position and continue. ”

"Ah, my classmate told me to go to the sea (Shanghai) Auntie," to be honest, when I heard it, I thought of dissatisfaction, is it important to study or play? Maybe there's another point, that's right, just a little bit I don't know if it's a boy or a girl who snatched Shibai's unhappiness. "Just continue tomorrow."

"Hmm??? Aren't you out of time next? Come early tomorrow! After all, is it a boy or a girl? It's getting early. ”

It was true that I had a doubt, but instead of digging into it, I couldn't help but ask another question, and I don't know in what capacity I asked it.

"Peace of mind, they're all girls."

"I'm at ease. Send me a message when you get home. ”

On the way to Aunt on the sea. Shibai either used the curb stone as a single-plank bridge, or jumped around me, and I couldn't help laughing when I looked at her like a child.

"What? What are you laughing at. I couldn't help but touch her head when she ran to me angrily and questioned me, but I still controlled it, probably for fear of being hated. (The top of her head is just above my mouth.) Poetry white 164cm, I 179cm. ）

"No, no, I just think you're super cute. Seeing you so happy, as silly as a child, I also feel that the effort is a bit rewarded. ”

"Hmph~ We don't know if someone is thinking about cuteness, or if the stupid thing in the back is the point."

After walking for a while, Shibai said that he was tired and couldn't do it, so he swept a bicycle. It's really childish, it's cute, but it's also like a fool.

I tried to keep up with her by taking as many strides as I could, and she was also pedaling in small steps to match me.

There were two pedestrians blocking the way in front of both of us.

"Ding, ding, let's go!"

I looked at the weird "words" that came out of her mouth, and I couldn't help but "poof", "What are you, the bell of human nature?" ”

"The bell of the bicycle is not good, and it is good to use it (right)! Don't laugh, I think you're in the back of the two (the two who just blocked the road), and you're laughing at me like a fool. ”

"No, no, really," I couldn't help but "poof" before I finished speaking. Shibai pretended to be angry and hammered the shoulder on the right side near me, and laughed himself.

After accompanying her to her destination, I plugged in my headphones and headed home.

When I got home, I had to do housework and handle dinner for a long time.

I couldn't help but think that Shibai might be lying at all when she said that she didn't have time, and that she might have thought that I had invited her to hang out in the first place, or that I didn't know what kind of person I was. Forget it, anyway, she will come to me tomorrow, so I'll finish the lecture well, I can't guess.

Ding dong.

The familiar chime broke my musings.

"I'm home! (๑•̀ㅁ•́ฅ)”

"Uh-huh, okay, rest early in a while, don't look at your phone, you'd better come early tomorrow!"

"Roar (good)! (灬°ω°灬)"

Exhausted and exhausted, I fell asleep.

The other side

Although I have always been reluctant to talk about the night before the final exam, it was perhaps the most fragile and comforting time for me, and I chose to be with him all the time, and I poured out feelings that I didn't even understand. He is really empathetic and understanding, and even when I say something that goes too far, he pretends not to understand and brings me a sense of security and warmth in his own way. Even if it is a distant relative, but we are also brother and sister, what is my affection for him, I don't understand, I want to rely on him, and it is definitely undeniable to have a good impression of him.

But he kept urging me to go out with him, probably like everyone else, just wanting me to hang out and play, teaching me homework just as an excuse.

The more he urged me, the more disgusted I became, but the long-term companionship made me feel that I should not refuse directly. I thought that even if it was a fire, I would admit it. I'm out of the way, but it's just a day, and it's a big deal not to pay attention to him in the future.

Actually, I got up early today, but I kept procrastinating.

But when I got to the library, I was amazed by the carefully sketched books he brought out.

I really didn't expect him to really prepare the content for me, and I really put so much time and energy into it so much that I couldn't even shout out my brother.

The sense of belonging and security he gave me made me fall directly, I like to be dominated, I don't have to face what to bear on my own, I understand that this is what I have always wanted, this sense of security and dependence on him made me spoil willfully all day, as if even the share of my parents was given to him. The fit with him makes me feel more comfortable with anyone else.

So in the end, I'd rather risk being hated by him than keep this sense of belonging that only belongs to me, and if he gets angry, I will definitely apologize for my low-level thoughts. But he didn't even pursue it.

I guess he's asleep now, thank you, brother. All along, his only request from time to time has also been rejected by me, just because of my shame, even the trivial matter of shouting Brother Sheng has become a pity, I'm sorry.

I don't want to, it's rare to be in a good mood, I have to go to bed early and get up early, I can't let him suffer from the cold for me for so long.