A person's appearance, appearance and demeanor are indispensable etiquette content in social communication activities, a very important means to carry out public relations work and mediate interpersonal relations, and also an external manifestation of a person's moral and cultural literacy. People who are beautiful and neat in appearance and have a good demeanor and temperament are sure to be respected and loved, supported when they need help, and forgiven when mistakes are made. Therefore, in interpersonal interactions, it is necessary to dress appropriately and speak and behave elegantly, because this is the most basic requirement for charismatic social activities.

1. You don't necessarily understand the matter of dress

【Social Rubik's Cube】

A man can be considered perfect only if everything in him – his countenance, his clothes, his soul, his mind – is all beautiful.

- Chekhov

"Buddha depends on gold, people rely on clothes", just the right dress can bring people a sense of beauty in social networking, and greatly enhance the effect of public relations in social networking. So, how do you dress to make the most of your personal charm?

From the general principle analysis, the following two points can best show the style of clothing and give people a sense of beauty:

First, neatness is the primary condition for the beauty of clothing.

No matter what kind of occasion or what kind of clothes we wear, we must ensure that the clothes are neat and clean. Only in this way can the beauty of the clothing be guaranteed. Otherwise, no matter what brand, texture, style, and color of clothes you wear, you will leave an unclean and bad image on others, and it doesn't matter if the clothes are beautiful.

Second, coordination is an artistic characteristic of the beauty of clothing.

What a person wears and how to dress must be coordinated with the individual's personality, temperament, occupation, age, and the environment and season of wearing, so as to conform to the aesthetic requirements, to meet the norms of social etiquette, and to give others a feeling of beauty.

In addition, the dress code should be appropriate to the social environment.

Attire that doesn't fit into your work environment can be a sign of rebellion. A young, beautiful executive assistant at a company has gradually changed her demure dress and professional woman's hairstyle since she started dating rock musicians. Change your outfit so that you don't have to change your clothes when you meet your boyfriend after work. Unfortunately, just as she was becoming more competitive in her career, she ruined her professional image. Undoubtedly, her dominant position also disappeared along with her professional image.

Blatant disobedience to dress codes can be seen as a challenge to authority. Whether it's a woman wearing a miniskirt and dressing up in jewelry, or a man often wearing a shirt collar and a track jacket, the impression may be: "I'm not serious about my work." But even the best-dressed people in office buildings can sometimes be torn between trying to avoid giving the impression that they're only interested in clothes.

It is necessary to dress to convey the message that "I belong here" and "I have a unique sense of judgment and refined taste".

Whether or not an outfit is appropriate for your environment depends on many factors: the nature of your job, the region where you live, the climate, and the particular occasion.

Obviously, the right way to dress depends mainly on the nature of your job. Jobs that often involve dealing with others generally require a more professional way of dressing. Leaders should choose a more conservative outfit than those in advertising, software development, or entertainment. The clothes you wear should allow you to do all the activities at work safely and comfortably.

In many cases, the local climate determines whether the clothing is appropriate. The fabric of your clothes should be suitable for the weather, and if you wear a thick sheepskin jacket in the warm winter of Shenzhen, people will think that you don't even know some basic common sense. The climate influences not only the choice of clothing, but also shoes and outerwear. In the north, men often wore leather shoes with winged wavy covers, and they were thicker than those worn by men in other regions.

The environment and the occasion also play a decisive role in the way you dress. For example, if you're wearing a suit on a Saturday afternoon, it's a bit out of place. The partner of a finance company clearly remembers that one day he wore a pair of shoes with tassels to the office. On the way, he was constantly asked, "Are you going to play golf?" ”

Dress should also be appropriate to the context of the times.

The human body is beautiful. In ancient times, primitive people were constrained by the conditions of social development and dressed unconsciously, which was caused by objective conditions. However, as human civilization reaches a certain level, the beauty of the human body cannot be displayed undisguised like the primitive society, and must be "packaged" by clothing to have a sense of beauty at all. In social situations in modern society, nakedness is contrary to social morality. The famous Western aesthete Grosser once made an analysis from the perspective of human aesthetic psychology: "In the lower cultural strata, although it is not common to wear clothes, in the higher strata of civilization, clothing has become the most indispensable part of both men and women. In such a situation, the revelation of the human body becomes an unusual rarity, and in conflict with this habit, as in other cases, an inexplicable embarrassment occurs. "Dress code is in line with the times, otherwise your attire will be rude, especially on important occasions. For example, at the beginning of the founding of the People's Republic of China, when national leaders received foreign guests or visited foreign countries, they generally wore the Mao suits with Chinese characteristics that were popular in China at that time. This is internationally accepted and is also compatible with China's development situation. However, it would be surprising if our leaders still wore Mao suits when receiving foreign guests or visiting foreign countries. Because, the times have developed to this day, and what we all agree with and what is popular in the times is suits. If someone wants to be vintage, it's only in a general home setting or when there are special needs. In major social situations, we should still go with the flow.

Don't think that dress is just a small thing, it can directly affect the impression of others, affect the success or failure of social interaction, remember that not any clothing attached to a person can produce beauty, and dress also needs to be artistic.

2. Don't underestimate the power of a smile

【Social Rubik's Cube】

What I do in social activities is to be kind to people. I think this applies to everyone.

—Charles Dickens

Smile is an art, a science, welcome everyone with your smile, then you will become the most popular person. A smile won't cost you a dime, but it can do many wonders for you.

David Stimson is the president of a well-known company in the United States, and he is still very young. He has almost all the advantages that a successful man should have: he has a clear goal in life, and he has the perseverance and confidence to constantly overcome difficulties and surpass himself and others; He strides meteors, is resolute, and does things neatly and never procrastinates; His voice was deep and mellow, and his speech was to the point; And - he always seemed ambitious and energetic. He is known for his seriousness and dedication to life, and he is also sincere to his colleagues, paying attention to fairness, and the people he knows are proud to have such a good friend.

But people who met him for the first time had little affection for him. This came as a surprise to those who knew him well. Why? Upon closer inspection, it turned out that he barely smiled.

His deep, grim face was always a blazing gaze, closed lips, and clenched teeth. This is true even in casual social situations. His graceful dancing on the dance floor appealed to almost all the ladies, but few danced with him. The female employees of the company are even more afraid of him when they see him, and the male employees do not support and identify with him very much. In fact, he was missing just one thing, one thing that could be fatal—a moving, smiling face.

Because smiling is a kind of tolerance, a kind of acceptance, and the president's closed lips and clenched teeth send a message to people: Annoying! Don't come near me! Imagine who would want to be close to him in such a situation.

People are smiling creatures. Laughter is a God-given privilege for human beings, and a sincere smile can shorten the distance between people. Think about it, when we meet a stranger who is smiling at you, do you feel an invisible force pushing you to get closer to him? If you see a "bitter gourd face" and "donkey face", will you still be in a good mood? You can only stay away from such people.

Smiling can eliminate the barriers and misunderstandings between people. When you have a fight with a friend, and suddenly one day when you meet, you see him sending you a sincere and friendly smile, will you still treat him as if you had just finished a fight?

Laughter can ease the tense atmosphere and adjust the solemn atmosphere. In a serious presentation, in a long and boring class, the speaker can break the tense and dull atmosphere and remobilize the attention of the listeners by making a small joke.

Laughter can melt away the restraint of guests. When guests come to visit, we greet them with a smile and make them feel free, relaxed and happy.

There is a good saying: a smile is the shortest distance between two people. Laughter is inseparable from interpersonal communication, and a world without laughter is simply a hell on earth.

In business and social situations, laughter can bring many unexpected effects. Laughter makes people kind and friendly; Laughter makes people feel festive and auspicious; Laughter makes people feel friendly and natural; Laugh and show that you are open-minded. Therefore, when you laugh, others will treat you as a friend and open their hearts to you.

When you go to a unit to find someone, smile at the first person you see, including the person in the mailroom, and smile modestly and enthusiastically to express your gratitude for the help he has given you. Seeing the layout and decoration of their unit should be appreciated from the heart. Be very happy when you see the person you are looking for, and then tell the other person about the good impression left by the external environment of their unit, and express envy that the other person works in such a beautiful environment; If you've asked a few people before meeting the person you're looking for, tell them that everyone in their unit is warm and courteous, and that you envy the friendship between their colleagues here. Your joy and appreciation of their unit will bring good emotions to the other person, and he will have a special feeling of joy throughout the day, and will always think of you, a very "happy" guest. When the other party is happy, there will be a good atmosphere when talking about business with him.

So how can you learn to smile naturally?

If you have a friendly attitude towards others and a good impression of society, you will naturally smile often, and over time, your smile will naturally become a part of who you are. When you meet someone, if you think to yourself, "Ah! It's a pleasure to see you! "Put this feeling on your face, and you will look full of spring breeze.

You should make some time each day to laugh. In the family, such a dispensing is also particularly needed. Laughter can make you harmonious in social relationships and happy in the family. When you're in a bad mood at some point, trying to make yourself laugh is the best way to change your mood.

No matter how difficult you are or how painful the situation is, once you smile, you may be able to get through it, and you will not be overwhelmed by the difficulties and will not give in to the situation.

If you don't usually like to laugh and want to learn to laugh, then you can start by collecting and cutting and pasting all kinds of funny facts and jokes. Scrapbooking is time-consuming, but it's easy to just build a simple joke archive by cutting out jokes and comics that you like and that someone else finds for you.

Also, prepare a notepad to write down the ridiculous things you encounter in your daily life, and you will laugh when you flip through it.

A smile is a natural outpouring of inner pleasure, and it will bring you a lot of convenience. You may find it difficult to get along with others before, but now it's the complete opposite. A smile is a soft bed for the tired, a stimulant for the depressed, and a sunshine for the sad, so if you want to be welcomed, don't forget to show your smile to people.

3. Get out of your "Handan footwork"

【Social Rubik's Cube】

The lion king's youngest son died of illness, and the lion king was very sad and walked listlessly, and when the two young lions saw it, they discussed, and said, "The lion king is old, look at its weak virtue, let's challenge it tomorrow!" That night, the lion queen said to her husband, "Be careful! My dear, your indiscretion will get you into trouble. The lion king thought that his wife was right, and the next day he went on his rounds in high spirits, and the two young lions, seeing the lion king's steady and majestic steps, fled quickly.

Everyone's walking posture is different, and sometimes we can recognize old friends or family members when we see them at a great distance, because we are already familiar with the way they walk. From different walking postures, we can often see a person's character cultivation, so although walking is a small section, we still have to pay more attention to it.

The chairman of a large corporation invited a young man who walked by him to work as a secretary in his company. Because the chairman felt that the way this young man walked would definitely make a difference in the future. The young man lived up to his expectations and continued to perform well, eventually becoming the chairman of the company.

Don't think this story is too exaggerated, from a person's walking posture, you can indeed see his attitude towards life.

Generally speaking, those who open up more often have a greater desire for self-expression. I like to let the other person accept the consciousness of my own existence.

People who have fast steps and swaggering arms are positive and are considered goal-oriented. Regardless of whether it is cold or hot, he always puts his hands in his pockets, and from time to time he bows his head and walks with his feet as if something has fallen to the ground.

Rubbing his hands on his waist, his center of gravity is forward, and his pace is fast, his eyes seem to be looking for something, generally speaking, this way of walking mostly indicates that the person is short-sighted and only sees immediate benefits.

He likes to walk with his feet on the floor, sometimes he is angry as if he has been frustrated, sometimes he is frustrated, and he often can't maintain his mental calm. 10% of the vocational training groups belong to this way of walking. People who are not motivated like this will make the instructor unmotivated to train, and in the end it is themselves who will lose.

There are also people who walk as high as possible, as if they are dancing, and even dance as they go, regardless of the people next to them. Walking outside the figure, or walking deliberately crossed step by step, and some people deliberately sway their hips from side to side, this kind of person usually likes to behave.

Putting your hands behind your back, bowing your head, and thinking about problems while walking slowly and methodically is considered to be a thinking person. People who raise their chin high, have a large swing of their arms, and have exaggerated steps, and their steps are deliberately different, this is a self-satisfied type who likes to be respected by others. Walking with hips swinging is mostly female, so it is necessary to pay attention to the aesthetics of posture.

So what is the ideal posture?

The basic requirement for posture is to "walk like the wind", when starting, the upper body leans forward slightly, and the weight of the body falls on the forefoot. When walking, the shoulders are steady, the eyes are level, the jaw is slightly tucked, and the face is smiling. The arms are straightened and relaxed, and the fingers are naturally bent. When swinging, take the shoulder joint as the axis, the upper arm drives the forearm, and swings naturally back and forth, and the swing amplitude is 30°~35°.

The stride length is appropriate, generally the heel of the front foot should be one foot length apart from the heel of the back foot. The steps should be on the balls of the feet, the knees and ankles should not be straight, and the walking footprints should be in a straight line. The walking speed is generally 108~110 steps per minute for men and 118~120 steps per minute for women.

When walking, men should not shake their shoulders from side to side. Women's hips should not swing from side to side, and high heels should be worn to maintain body balance to avoid falling. Men and women walk in pairs, women have a smaller stride, men have a larger stride, men should adjust their stride length appropriately, and try to walk synchronously with women.

When walking, don't look left and right, sway left and right, shake your hands, don't bend over, bend your shoulders, sway, don't bend your legs too much, walk in a straight line, and don't walk "inner figure" or "outer figure".

Not only that, but you should also change your gait according to different attire:

Straight line clothing has the characteristics of stretching, solemn, generous and vigorous, while the clothing dominated by curved strips looks charming, feminine, elegant and elegant. The walking posture should show the characteristics of the garment.

(1) Walking posture in a suit. Suits should be straight and should be worn with the wearer's upright and elegant demeanor. When wearing a suit, keep your back straight, stand your feet straight, walk with a slightly larger stride, swing your arms relaxed, straight, and gesture with simple and elegant gestures. Men should not shake when walking, and women should not swing their hips from side to side.

(2) Walking posture in cheongsam. When walking, the lady is required to stand tall, with her chest slightly tucked, her chin slightly tucked, and her hips not bent over. When walking, the stride length should not be too large, so as not to make the cheongsam slit too large and expose the flesh and skin. The heels should be in a line back and forth, the toes are slightly outward, and the arms are naturally swinging on the sides of the body, and the amplitude should not be too large. When standing, fold your hands in front of your abdomen.

(3) Walking posture in a skirt. Wearing a long skirt shows the slender and flowing beauty of the female figure. Walk steadily, with a slightly larger stride. When turning, pay attention to the coordination of the head and body, and adjust the angle of the head, chest, and hips.

Wearing a short skirt, to show a light, agile, lively, free and easy demeanor, the stride length should not be too large, but the pace frequency can be slightly faster, to maintain a brisk and dexterous style.

(4) Walking posture in high heels. Ladies often wear black high heels for formal social occasions and walk with a balanced body. The specific methods are: straight knees and waist, abdomen and hips, chest and head up. Don't bend your knees forward and don't pout your hips back. Be sure to keep your ankles, knees, and hips straight, and your stride should not be too large when walking.

A steady, relaxed and agile posture will give people a vibrant, positive impression, and make people naturally have a good impression of you. All in all, posture is also part of social behavior, and beautiful posture can enhance your social charm, so don't take it lightly.

4. It is better to be able to speak than to be able to listen

【Social Rubik's Cube】

Nature has given us two eyes to see and two ears to hear, but only a tongue to speak.

- Swift

Successful communication requires not only that we speak, but also that we listen. In a way, being able to listen is even more important than being able to speak.

Harry, a car salesman in New York, has been in a bad mood lately because a week ago he had screwed up a big deal: he had almost convinced Mr. Green to buy three cars, but for some reason the other party suddenly and firmly rejected him. He sat at his desk and pondered what went wrong. His introduction to the car was detailed, his politeness was fine, he didn't say anything wrong...... Finally Harry couldn't help but call Mr. Green: "Mr. Green, I'm that car salesman from Ford, can I ask you what went wrong with me last time that made you refuse to buy my car?" Mr. Green was silent for a moment: "Okay, if you want to know. Are you listening to me right now? I mean, did you listen to me? "Yes, Mr. Green, I've been listening!" "No, you didn't last time. Last time I told you that my youngest son wanted to join Manchester United, but you didn't react at all, you didn't pay attention to me! Harry was shocked to see that the reason for the failure was not to pay attention. He immediately apologized to Mr. Green, who eventually bought his car.

Listening attentively shows respect for the other person, and listening attentively shows that you care about and value the other person's opinion. Most people are born with two ears and one mouth, just to listen more and say less, and hope that what they say will be valued by others, and they are happy and encouraged by this. If you are absent-minded when someone is talking, the other person will feel disappointed and dissatisfied, and even lead to communication failure. In this story, Harry had already succeeded in convincing his client, but because he didn't pay attention to what the client was saying, he encountered a "Waterloo", which shows how important it is to listen to others.

"I" is the word that people use the most, and everyone cares most about themselves, so if you can encourage others to talk more about yourself and you are a listener, then you will definitely be the most popular person.

Many years ago, there was a poor child named Frank. His family was very poor, and he went to the street every day to pick up pieces of coal. After going to school, he used recess to clean the glass for a bakery, earning half a dollar a week. Frank had only five years of education in his life because of poverty, but he ended up being one of the most successful magazine editors in American journalism. How did he succeed?

Due to the poverty of his family, Frank left school at the age of 13 and went to work as a child laborer at Western Union for $6.5 a week. Even with all this hardship, Frank did not give up the idea of seeking an education. Not only that, but he also educates himself. He saved the money he had saved from not taking the car and skipping breakfast, bought a copy of "The Complete Biography of American Celebrities", and read it voraciously. Subsequently, he wrote to these celebrities, asking them to send them supplementary materials from their childhoods.

He is a good listener who encourages celebrities to tell their stories. He wrote to Emerson and encouraged Emerson to tell about himself; He wrote to General Glad, asking about a certain battle, and Glad gave the 14-year-old a map and invited him to dinner; He also wrote to General Garfield, who was running for president at the time, asking him if he had indeed worked as a child laborer on a canal...... Soon he was in correspondence with famous people all over the United States: Shams, Longpanor, Mrs. Lincoln, Poroco, Elgold, General Showmen, Davis, and so on.

Not only did he correspond with these celebrities, but he also used his holidays to visit them, eventually becoming the most popular guest in their home. These experiences have given Frank a strong sense of self-confidence. The thoughts and actions of these celebrities inspired his ideals and ambitions and changed his life.

Frank's ability to listen quietly is the first principle of his dealings with these celebrities, and it is also the magic weapon that allows him to succeed. Always keep this in mind: the person you are talking to is a thousand times more interested in himself, his needs, his problems than in you and your problems.

In order to become a popular person, we must put aside our desire to express ourselves, be more sympathetic to each other's feelings, actively share each other's thoughts, and be a listener at the right time, so that all friends will like you and love you.

5. How many people's names can you call

【Social Rubik's Cube】

Only by respecting others can you be respected.

—Emerson

In social activities, the vast majority of people attach great importance to their own name. If you can memorize a person's name and pronounce it naturally, then you can easily gain the favor of others.

Jim didn't go to secondary school, but by the age of forty-six he had four universities awarding him honorary degrees. He was elected to the Democratic National Committee** and served as U.S. Postal Administrator.

Once, a reporter interviewed Mr. Jim and asked him for the secret of success. He briefly told reporters: "Hard work! The reporter was obviously not satisfied with this answer, so he asked again. Jim asked the reporter to analyze the reasons for his success, and the reporter said that he knew that Jim could call 10,000 people's names.

Jim corrected this, saying that he could name about fifty thousand people.

Don't be surprised by this, it was his ability that helped Roosevelt get into the White House.

During Jim's years as a salesman for a company, he also served as the village clerk of Loqueleigh, and he developed a way of memorizing people's names.

Initially, the method was simple. Every time he met a new friend, he asked them about their name, how many people they had in the family, what they did, and what they thought about current politics. When he asked these questions, he kept them in mind. The next time you meet this person, even if it has been more than a year, you can still pat the person on the shoulder, greet his wife and children, and even talk about the flowers and plants in the backyard of that person's house.

In the months leading up to Roosevelt's presidential campaign, Jim wrote hundreds of letters a day and distributed them to acquaintances and friends in the western and northwestern states. Then, he boarded a train and traveled 12,000 miles through 20 states in 19 days. In addition to trains, he also used other means of transportation, such as mopeds, automobiles, ships, etc. Whenever Jim went to a town, he would have a very honest conversation with an acquaintance, and then rush him on the next leg of his trip. When he returned to the east, he immediately sent a letter to each of his friends in the towns, asking them to send him a list of guests with whom he had spoken. Those on the countless lists, they all received intimate and extremely polite replies from Jim.

Jim had long discovered that the average person was most interested in his name. When you memorize a person's name and call it out naturally, you will have a subtle compliment and appreciation for him. On the other hand, forgetting someone's name or calling them the wrong one will not only embarrass them, but also be a great embarrassment to yourself.

The name is originally just a personal symbol, but it contains a person's dignity, status and honor, respect for a person is better than respect for his name, when people's names are forgotten, confused, whether you are intentional or not, it will bring bad effects. The light ones are disgusting, and the heavy ones hurt each other's feelings. Therefore, we must keep in mind the names of others.

In a sense, remembering names is a cheap but effective emotional investment. Remembering someone's name is equivalent to hiding a friendship deep in your heart, and the longer you remember, the deeper the friendship, just like a bottle of old wine, the more you put it, the more mellow it becomes. Remember each other's names in communication, and the other party will definitely experience your deep friendship and feel his place in your heart, which will increase the sense of intimacy, identity, and deepen each other's feelings. So how can you keep someone's name in mind? Here are three tips you might want to try:

(1) Remember other people's names carefully

Some people are well-informed and unforgettable, and they can remember it once they see it. This is naturally the best. However, most people don't have such capabilities. Therefore, it is necessary to memorize the name by heart. We should be sociable and value friendships. In general, people who value friendship show a particularly strong sense of attention when it comes to remembering names. According to the survey, on the basis of general memory, the more concentrated and valued you are, the more you will remember. Even a person with a poor memory, because he attaches great importance to friendship, will take special care to remember the names of the people he has dealt with, and he can also remember them very clearly and will not forget them for many years.

(2) Frequently rummaging through other people's business cards

For people who do not have a good memory, they should not only memorize by heart but also use their pen. There is a famous saying here: "A good memory is better than a bad pen." "Whether it's an old friend or a new friend, you should write down your name in a small notebook or keep the other person's business card after you have dealt with each other. When you have time, you need to flip through it to recall the past and deepen your impression, so that you can get the effect of lasting memories of names and friendships.

(3) Forget the name to think of remedy

If you meet a friend on the road and suddenly forget their name, you should find a way to figure it out and keep it in mind. Once, Zhang Qiang met with a comrade-in-arms he hadn't seen for many years, and he couldn't remember his name for a while. When they broke up, Zhang Qiang took the initiative to take out a piece of paper and write down his name, phone number, and mailing address, and then handed him the pen and said, "Come, let's leave our business cards for each other and keep in touch more in the future." The other party also wrote down his name, address, and phone number. Since then, the name of the other party has been engraved in his mind and he has never forgotten it.

Being able to remember the names of everyone you meet is an important interpersonal skill. Even if you only have a one-sided relationship with the other person, if you can call out his name accurately, it is the greatest compliment and appreciation to him.

6. Your eyes do the talking

【Social Rubik's Cube】

Two women who had just died were brought before God, who decided whether they would go to heaven or hell. God looked at them carefully and asked the angel to take the left one to heaven and the right one to hell. The archangel Peter asked God curiously, "How do you know which one deserves to go to hell without asking them how they behave on earth?" God smiled: "Looks, their eyes speak for themselves." The woman on the left has a frank and simple look in her eyes, which shows that she is kind-hearted; The woman on the right has a vicious, evasive look, which shows that she has committed many sins, so she deserves to go to hell! ”

It is often said that "the eyes are the window of the soul", a person's eyes can unreservedly reflect people's joys, sorrows, sorrows, and sorrows, and from a person's eyes, you can usually see his entire inner world.

We often say that a beautiful girl's eyes can speak, and that's why her eyes are full of expression. In fact, the eyes of people who are full of heart and emotion are very moving.

A good personal image, the eyes are calm, kind, kind, and spiritual. Especially when talking to someone, the eyes should be fixed on the other person, and should not be dodging or wandering. Throughout the conversation, keep your eyes on the other person, attentive, gentle, and passionate.

Tiredness, coldness, sluggishness, indifference, contempt, panic, hostility, and looking at people should be avoided in interpersonal interactions, let alone looking people up and down, frowning.

Chen Xiaoyu is an excellent female reporter, she is not beautiful, and she does not have the eloquence of a lotus, but her interviews are very successful, especially in character interviews, she can always let the interviewee tell her true feelings. So what's her secret? Chen Xiaoyu said that every time I do an interview, I will naturally and sincerely stare at the other party, and encourage the other party to keep talking with gentle eyes. I've found that using this method will make them quickly develop a liking for me and maximize my interview requests.

A pair of sincere and enthusiastic eyes in social interaction can shorten the psychological distance between the two parties. The eyes will speak the words of people's hearts, indicating that you have a good impression of them. Eyes full of kindness are not necessarily a pair of beautiful big eyes, but as long as they are sincere, they can also win people's favor and make people unforgettable.

Some people say that "the eyes are slanted and the heart is not right", but in fact it is not accurate, it should be said that "the eyes are evil and the heart is not right". People with unscrupulous minds not only like to squint, but also "evil" vision, that is, the evil light in their eyes.

Mencius once said that to see what is right and what is not right in a person's chest, we must look at his "eyes", and the eyes of an upright person are bright and calm, while the vision of an unrighteous person is cowardly and gray. Zeng Guofan also said: If a person's eyes flicker, this person must not be good. There is some truth to these claims.

If we meet a person whose eyes are rapidly avoiding your gaze and flickering, you will feel very uncomfortable. We believe in our character, but don't get caught up in these bad things in our manners.

Eyes cannot be abused. Natural eyes are the right-hand man of verbal expression. The eye is a silent language that expresses deeper and more subtle meanings than words. Many animals do not speak, but they stare at each other, the purpose of which is to signal a threat to their opponents. Butterflies have evolved over a long period of time to become more and more conspicuous with markings on their wings, which can make other animals mistake them for the angry eyes of predators, so that they do not dare to act rashly.

Eyes can show joy or indifference in a person, and each look has a specific meaning: bright eyes indicate a happy mood; A calm gaze indicates gentleness and kindness; Lingxiu's gaze indicates intelligence, wisdom, and so on. It can be seen that it is very important to pay attention to the eyes in social activities.

Our eyes should be wise, sincere, bright, calm, friendly, calm, focused, and firm. Do not tease, hate, frivolous, mean, contemptuous, treacherous, angry, fierce, gloomy, wandering, and blank eyes.

Eye gaze is an emoji language that conveys information through eye contact in social interactions. Historically, the eyes have a huge impact on behavior. The presence and change of thoughts and feelings can be revealed by the eyes. Theoretically, the eyes are mainly composed of the following two aspects.

First, the length of the line of sight. When we talk to someone, we spend about half the time looking at the other person. If this percentage is exceeded, it means that we are more interested in the other person than in the other person's words; Below this percentage, it doesn't matter to either. Other eye expressions when talking should generally be flexible and natural. Don't stare at the person you're talking to for a long time, or you'll feel violated.

Second, the direction of the line of sight. When we talk, the part where we look at the other person can show the intimacy of our relationship with the other person. In business, negotiations, business, etc., look at the triangle part of the other person's face with your eyes. This triangle is the center of the eyes and forehead. If you look at this part of the other person, you will appear serious and serious, and others will also feel that you are sincere. So, this is an important factor in grasping the initiative and control of the conversation.

7. Don't break your trust with others

【Social Rubik's Cube】

Credit is both an invisible force and an intangible wealth. If a leader can be trusted by everyone, everyone will work for him.

- Konosuke Matsushita

"A person who is honest and honest will not have real friends". Such a person is bound to be despised in social life. Therefore, it is actually a very stupid thing to lose trust in others, and you must always remind yourself that you must cherish your reputation.

Jones, the publisher of Miraponi magazine, was a very intelligent man who built his reputation with a good technique.

When Jones started his project, he first borrowed $50 from a bank that he didn't need urgently. "I borrowed money to build my reputation," he said. Actually, I didn't touch the loan at all, and when the loan period expired, I immediately returned the 50 yuan to the bank. After a few times, I gained the trust of the bank, and the amount of money lent to me gradually increased. The amount of the last borrowed was $2,000. This time I used it to grow my business. ”

Jones added: "Later, I planned to publish a commercial newspaper, but it required a certain financial basis to run a newspaper, and I estimated that it would cost at least $15,000, and I had only $5,000 on hand." So, I went to the bank again, and I went to the clerk who had borrowed me every time, and when I told him the plan, he was willing to lend me $10,000. However, he asked me to talk to the manager of the bank. Eventually, the manager agreed to lend me $10,000 and said, 'I don't know Mr. Jones very well, but I've noticed how many years Mr. Jones has been borrowing from us and paying it off on time every time.' "Jones uses scheming to gain the trust of others.

Gain the trust of others and build your own credibility, no matter what method you take, but sincerity, trustworthiness and diligence are the most fundamental keys.

If fulfilling the promises made to oneself is an expression of responsibility, then the keeping of promises by others is also an expression of honesty and responsibility.

The power of commitment is powerful. Keeping and fulfilling your promises will give you real help in difficult times, and the warmth of friendship in times of loneliness, because you keep your promises, and your honest and reliable image sells yourself, and you will be successful in business, marriage, and family.

This is not empty words, there are many facts to prove this, foreign and domestic well-known enterprises all put credibility in the first place, respected people are all models of keeping promises.

On the contrary, there are some people who casually write "blank checks" to others, and do not honor them at the end of the day, believing that they will not succeed in any of them.

You may have seen such a sketch: it is about a gentleman who had no acquaintances at the train station, and insisted on telling others that he could still buy train tickets after the train tickets were sold out, and as a result, many friends and colleagues asked him to help buy train tickets, he was responsive and promised others, and he did not have acquaintances, so he had to queue up to buy tickets in the middle of the night, and as a result, more and more people asked him to buy tickets, forcing himself into a dead end, and sometimes he put money to buy high-priced tickets, which made him embarrassed. This is not considering your own ability, and easily agreed to help, the ticket is bought, everyone thinks you are really amazing, if you can't buy it, others will think, since you can buy it for others, why don't you buy it for me, you look down on me! So the relationship gradually drifted apart, but lost credibility and offended people, so why bother?

When you feel that you can't do it, it's better not to make promises to others lightly, which will have many advantages: others can only express regret, and will not think that your words do not count, so they will not have a sense of distrust of you; In many cases, things and circumstances have changed, and you can't do it but you didn't promise, and you won't be embarrassed afterwards.

Secondly, after you have made a promise, you should take it seriously and work hard to achieve it.

A small promise, like "I'll be home at nine o'clock tonight". Don't take it lightly when you can do it, what should you do when you promise to go home at nine o'clock, and your colleague invites you out to play, and the time may drag on until ten o'clock? You should politely decline a friend's kind invitation and go home on time.

Although it is a small matter, it is enough to make your honest image shine brightly.

Finally, if you can't do what you promised, you should inform the other person in time, your good reason and sincere apology will make others forgive you and avoid unnecessary losses.

Losing your trust in others, not counting your words, and not fulfilling your promises means that you have lost the minimum quality of being a human being, and it means that you have lost your credibility as a human being in the eyes of others. How heavy this loss is, of course, you will weigh it clearly.

In addition to being untrustworthy, most of those who are clever and tricky are also dishonest with others. Such a person may be able to deceive and deceive some young and inexperienced people for a while, but he can benefit from a while, make a fortune, and make a handful. But the second or third time, once you are recognized, others will no longer believe you. You will lose more than you gain. Fundamentally, in terms of overall value, what you have deceived is a sesame seed, and what you have lost is a large watermelon.

One man invited a group of friends to drink, and halfway through the drink, he realized that he didn't have enough money. So he asked the shopkeeper to cook a bowl of noodles, saying that he was going to give it to his old mother, and took the bowl and left. When I walked down a street, I saw an old lady sitting in a small shop, stepping on a big copper kettle, so she walked up and said, "A certain family has a birthday, let me send you a bowl of noodles, a certain family has many guests, and please pour noodles into your own bowl." When the old lady heard this, she hurriedly happily took the bowl and walked into the kitchen, and this man took the opportunity to steal the big copper kettle, and after selling the copper kettle, he went home and took his own bowl, and went to the store to continue eating and drinking with his friends. Imagine if this person deceived someone once, would they be fooled a second time?

Losing one's trust in others not only shows his humble personality and bad conduct, but is also a kind of stupid behavior that cares about the present and the future, and cares about the short term and the long-term, and will eventually achieve nothing.

8. Forever "Ladies First"

【Social Rubik's Cube】

Without socializing, without socializing to suit our tastes, people will never be satisfied.

What is gentlemanly demeanor? It is not to be dignified, not to be neatly dressed, but to show appropriate politeness at the right time and place. In the West, the criterion for judging whether a man is a gentleman is whether he knows how to respect women and whether he abides by the principle of "ladies first".

At the heart of the principle of women first is the requirement that adult men act in all respects, cares, helps and protects women in all aspects of their actions, at all times and in all circumstances. This should be true not only for young and beautiful girls, but also for strange ladies, and it would be too narrow to understand the principle of ladies first as ladies first. Society seems to recognize that women have the privilege of "priority", and anyone who does not follow this rule is considered disrespectful.

Honesty and trustworthiness are the foundation of life, and if you lose this foundation, you will fail. So, whatever you are making a promise, no matter who you are making a promise, you must weigh it carefully, and know that your promise is worth a thousand dollars.

Zhang Lin likes France very much and hopes to study in France after his junior year, and his relatives happened to know a kind French couple, Mr. and Mrs. Langver, and the relatives introduced the couple to Zhang Lin, hoping to help him study abroad plan. The three of them made an appointment to meet in a restaurant, but this meeting did not go well: the couple, especially Mrs. Longfre, had a terrible impression of Zhang Lin: as soon as they met, Zhang Lin was busy shaking hands with Mr. Longfère, and gave Mr. Longff the prepared gift to Mr. Longfère, leaving Mrs. Longver aside; During the meal, Zhang Lin only served the vegetables for Mr. Longfu, and did not take care of his wife's needs at all; The worst thing was that when he went out, he actually walked to the door side by side with Mr. Longfre, and then sent Mr. Longfre out, and then Mrs., which made Mr. Longver very embarrassed. Mrs. Longfer directly told Zhang Lin's relatives that she thought Zhang Lin was a very impolite young man, and that it was best to learn etiquette before going abroad.

In Western society, women have always been treated with courtesy, whether they are female supervisors, female colleagues or housewives. In the past, the Oriental people were just the opposite, typical machismo, men had to prevail everywhere, no matter what the occasion, men's status was always supreme and inviolable. However, this situation has changed dramatically. A civilized man cannot be welcomed if he does not pay attention to politeness when dealing with ladies. Zhang Lin violated the principle of "women first", which angered the Langfu couple and ruined the plan to go abroad. Many men often make this mistake in life, and male friends should always think like this: it is natural for men to take care of women and women to accept men's services. "The capable work more", a man's body is stronger than a woman, his strength is greater than that of a woman, and his movements are more agile than a woman.

For example, when riding a bus, let the lady get on the bus first; Accompany the lady to a certain place and open the door for her first; When you enter the room, take off her coat and pull up the chair, and when you want to smoke, you should give her a cigarette and light a cigarette unless you ask for her permission. These gestures are by no means posturing and deliberate showmanship, they are really necessary to be polite, but they should be done in a natural and generous manner so as not to be self-defeating.

When taking the train or other means of transportation, if you meet a woman carrying luggage or heavier packages, you should also pick up and drop it on your behalf, because women have less strength and it is inconvenient to retrieve them, and men are able-bodied and easy to do, so why not do it?

When accompanying a woman on the street, walk on the edge of the road to protect her or help her carry heavier items. In case of rain, you should hold an umbrella for her. When walking on muddy roads, you should also ask your female partner to hold your arm to avoid slipping or falling. When the crowd is crowded, you should take the first step and clear the way for her.

If you are late for a movie with your girlfriend, you should hold the woman's hand, let the waiter lead the way or carefully find a seat, and do not leave your girlfriend in the dark, which is very impolite.

When a woman needs help on a daily basis, you should also be enthusiastic and proactive to serve her. However, the service should be moderate, and the enthusiasm should not be excessive. For example, you can carry your luggage on her behalf without having to carry a hat box, a tote bag, a parasol and fancy packaging. Walking the dog with a woman can help her pull the leash of the dog, but if it is a small pet in her arms, you don't have to do it for you.

But be warned: Poor politeness can be unpleasant, but too much politeness can also be embarrassing. Gentlemanly demeanor is gentle, not enthusiastic, and men must pay attention to this degree in social interactions.

9. Gift-giving is also a science

【Social Rubik's Cube】

The fox and the vulture are good friends, and one day the fox has a birthday, and the vulture comes to the feast with a big gift - a rotting rabbit. The fox looked at the rabbit and felt disgusted, but because of the kindness of his good friend, he had to accept it. A few days later, it was the vulture's birthday, and the fox gave him a warm and ornate hat woven of fox fur, and the vulture flipped the hat toss and turned, and thought disappointedly, "What does the fox mean by that?" It's better to send a rotten bone than this! ”

Chinese have long known the etiquette of peaching, traveling back to their hometowns, and bringing back some special souvenirs; During the New Year's holidays, congratulatory gifts are given to each other...... It can be said that gift-giving is the best way to express human affection, convey feelings, and increase friendship. However, gift-giving also needs to learn etiquette and know etiquette, and gifts must be given at the right time and in the right way to have affection and meaning.

Gift-giving is a deep science, and there are many issues that need to be paid attention to.

(1) Gifts should be given differently depending on the recipient

If you give a brand new pair of skates to an old man with white teeth; Buy an expensive Swiss watch and give it to a friend who is meeting you for the first time; Or send an introverted conservative professor a mountain bike...... These inappropriate things will only have the opposite effect. What's more, there are differences between men and women, young and old, and personal hobbies cannot be universal, so you must carefully consider before buying in order to bring incomparable warmth to the recipient.

Generally speaking, gifts for elders, bosses, and teachers during the Chinese New Year are most suitable for seasonal gifts, such as bacon and cured meat, fruits, cakes, tobacco and alcohol. Friends and colleagues of the same generation are more unrestrained, and they can give timely items, as well as items for each other's appreciation or use; As for the younger generations or children, it is suitable to buy products or candies and toys that young people like.

(2) Grasp the timing and method of gifting

Gifts should generally be given in person. However, if you are attending a wedding, you can send it in advance. Celebrate festivals and give New Year's gifts, which can be sent to the door or mailed. At this time, the gift should be accompanied by the gift of the giver's business card, or handwritten congratulatory message, packed in an envelope of the same size, the name of the recipient should be indicated on the envelope, and pasted on the top of the gift wrapping.

Often, it is not appropriate to give a gift to only one person in a group of people in public. Because the recipient will feel bribed and fooled, and it will make the person who does not receive the gift feel neglected and despised and despised.

Giving gifts to people close to you should also not be done in public, so as to avoid giving the public the impression that your close relationship is supported entirely by material things. Only special gifts that are light and affectionate, gifts that express special emotions, are suitable for giving in front of the public. For by this time the public has become a witness to your true friendship. Such as a special book, a special souvenir, etc.

(3) Give gifts with new ideas

For example, when giving birthday gifts, everyone blindly gives cakes, and as a result, the birthday star often struggles with how to solve three or five cakes of different sizes, and in the end often asks the neighbor to finish eating, such birthday gifts only bring trouble but not joy. Therefore, it is best to ask what others are sending, and it is best not to repeat each other; It's even better to be able to give creative gifts. For example, in the name of the birthday star, disaster relief and poverty relief is of great significance, or a year's worth of magazines, or a holly tree, all of which are ingenious.

The same goes for wedding gifts, you should try to avoid giving things that everyone is likely to give. A director of the Family Planning Office once presented a large box of "night clothes" to a friend who was about to get married, wishing him success in his family plan after marriage.

Another person who had a heart gave him a handful of dirt when his friend went abroad. A handful of clay is not worth a penny on the surface, but the meaning of the advice contained in it is so profound that the giver does not need to say it directly, and the other party can understand it. This is a chic gift that most people can't think of.

(4) It is best to give gifts as needed

The choice of gifts should be based on the needs of others, so that when the other party accepts the gift, he will be touched by the deep affection of the giver.

A student has received a lot of favor from his teacher, and he has always wanted to reciprocate but has no chance. One day, he stumbled upon the calligraphy and painting embedded in the teacher's mahogany mirror frame, which was actually a rubbing, which did not match the elegant furnishings in the room. It just so happened that his uncle was a well-known calligrapher in the country, and he had calligraphy and paintings in his hand. He immediately brought the calligraphy and painting and took the initiative to put it in the frame. Not only did the teacher not object, but he loved it very much.

"Thousands of miles to send goose feathers, the gift is light and affectionate", so a generous gift is not necessarily popular; A small gift is not necessarily insincere. As long as you can put more effort into it and understand the mystery, the result will naturally be polite and successful.