Colleague relationships are one of the most important and delicate interpersonal relationships in the office, where there is both competition and cooperation, complementarity and conflict, and colleagues can be both your friends and enemies. The office is like a battlefield, if you have a lot of friends, you will turn evil into good, if you are surrounded by enemies, you will not be able to move an inch, so you should actively establish a harmonious relationship with colleagues who are honest and equal, mutual understanding and mutual concession, and a harmonious colleague relationship will make your work and life simpler and more efficient.

1. The first time you have a relationship, you will have a deeper impression

【Social Rubik's Cube】

The more extensive the communication, the happier you feel, and this is the cause of human society.

- Yukichi Fukuzawa

Everyone wants to get rid of the sense of distance with their new colleagues as soon as possible and get closer to each other, but how can we do that?

When people first go to work and have a relationship with a colleague, they always choose some irrelevant topics. For example, the most typical conversation is: "It's a nice day!" "yes, it's warm, it's comfortable."

This kind of formulaic conversation is safe, but it simply won't impress the new colleague who comes into contact with you, and the same person will feel that you are nothing special. Such a conversation is a waste of time and energy.

Some people may think that they are too presumptuous to speak when they meet their colleagues for the first time and do not know social etiquette, so they have some scruples. Actually, you don't have to think about it so much. For example, you can naturally say, "My mom and I don't get along well lately, but yesterday we watched TV together and talked for another afternoon, and the misunderstanding was completely resolved......"

Or: "It's been so hot these days, I've just shaved my head, my friends won't recognize me...... and the theme of your own recent situation is a good opening statement.

When choosing what to say, consider the workplace and time. Only by speaking in a targeted manner can we deepen each other's impressions.

If you want to impress your colleagues when you meet for the first time, you must first eliminate the distance between them. A certain unit once invited a certain gentleman to give a speech on stage, and he used self-deprecating language to eliminate the psychological distance between him and the audience at the beginning. He said: "Today I met you for the first time, and I deliberately wore a pair of beautiful new leather shoes, but I seem to have bought fake and shoddy products, you can see that the new leather shoes have opened their mouths and their feet are blistered......

Only by eliminating the strangeness of the first meeting as soon as possible can you leave an indelible impression on your new colleagues. Since we spend half of our time in the workplace, our speech can sometimes be a formality. How to get the attention of your new colleagues is all about choosing topics. If you're smart, why don't you use your creativity to create miracles?

Talking to anyone involves both "listening" and "speaking", so you can't be sloppy in both aspects. Ordinary people tend to only pay attention to what they say, and rarely pay attention to thinking about what the other person has said.

Ordinary people also make this mistake when speaking: in speech, their minds are only full of "what to say next", and often they don't hear what the other person is saying. If there is something else in what the other person is saying, you will not be able to grasp it.

People who can talk listen attentively to their colleagues when they speak, and then put forward their opinions in a timely manner. On the contrary, some people always deliberately raise their bodies at any time when their colleagues are talking, looking eager to try, and when they have the opportunity, they immediately interject. The words spoken by such people are often incorrect, causing disgust among colleagues. Therefore, you should pay attention to listening to your colleagues during the conversation. The ideal form of conversation is 7 minutes of listening and 3 points of speaking.

Paying attention to what a colleague says does not mean only listening to what he says, but also paying attention to his body, movements, eyes, expressions, and sometimes even clothing and grooming. If you can listen to your colleague with all your heart and soul, then he will be very happy, and he will have a sense of confidence that you are reliable, because he feels that what he says has been valued by you, which means that you are a confidant, and this will pave the way for your future work.

Also, if you listen carefully to what your colleagues have to say, you can also identify problems and ask questions in a timely manner. For example: "Why is this happening?" Or: "Hmm! I feel the same way. If you don't listen attentively, you can only barely reply, "Oh! That's right! ”

The gist of the former is to express what your colleague says by you again, simply put, to be in tune with the other person, which shows that you listen carefully, and it can also be said to recognize the other person's personality through words. This kind of caring approach will make your new colleagues feel that you are a gentle and considerate person, so that they will feel close to you, and lay the foundation for you to manage the relationship between colleagues. First impressions are important, and the initial impression you leave on your new colleague will often affect your future interactions, so you must do your best to deepen their impression of you when you first meet.

2. Use socializing to enhance relationships

【Social Rubik's Cube】

Without socializing, without socializing to suit our tastes, people will never be satisfied.

—Jefferson

Socializing in social interaction is a kind of human knowledge, which can shorten the distance and connect feelings. There are many socializations among colleagues: Xiao Zhang's marriage, Da Li's birth, Sister Zhao's promotion, and Xiaotong's birthday...... You must be active, help people to get together, treats, and give gifts, because socializing is the best way to connect with feelings, and sociable people will definitely seize it to make a big fuss.

A colleague's birthday, someone suggested that everyone celebrate, and you were happy to move forward, but after you went, you found that so many people came to celebrate his New Year, why didn't they come to have a lively time on your birthday? That's the problem, it means that your socialization is not in place, and your relationships are still not good. To reverse this inner loss, you might as well be proactive, find more excuses, and learn to socialize while socializing.

For example, if you receive a new bonus and it is your birthday, you can adopt a proactive strategy and say to a colleague in your department: "Today is my birthday, I want to invite everyone to dinner, please come by, remember, don't bring gifts." "In this case, no matter what the relationship between your colleagues has been with you in the past, they will be happy to go this time, and you will definitely leave a good impression on them.

Xiao Fang has been at work for almost half a month, but the relationship with his colleagues is still in the stage of "light as water". It was Friday, and Miss Wang from the Administration Department announced loudly: "Tomorrow is my birthday, I invite everyone to dinner, if you are willing to come, tomorrow at 3 pm, meet at the door of the company!" "Everyone was very happy to hear it, and they chatted non-stop, of course, Xiao Fang was still the one who was left out." To go or not to go? They didn't invite me! After getting off work, Xiao Fang kept thinking about this problem, and finally gritted his teeth and decided to go. The next day, he came to the door of the company on time, and when he gave the prepared gift to Miss Wang, she was obviously stunned for a moment, but immediately smiled and expressed a warm welcome to Xiao Fang. They had a lot of fun that day, and Xiao Fang also performed on stage twice, and the awkward atmosphere in the office was opened, and Xiao Fang successfully integrated into the collective.

If you don't participate in this party, Xiao Fang may have to continue to wander in the "Arctic Zone" of the office, which shows that the party is indeed the best way to connect feelings, and the distance between the two sides is shortened between eating, drinking, laughing, and laughing.

Pay attention to socializing, and be sure to follow the local customs. If you are in a company where the promoter has the habit of entertaining colleagues, you must not make an exception, if you don't invite, you will have a reputation as "stingy". If no one has invited you, and you set a precedent, your colleagues will think you're too ostentatious. Therefore, it is necessary to do things according to conventions. It's a question of please, please.

Pay attention to socializing, and there is also the question of whether you go or not when others invite. It's not appropriate not to say yes when someone sends out an invitation, but after agreeing, you must think twice.

For colleagues who are deeply acquainted, they are responsive and have a close relationship, and they can socialize freely no matter what kind of scene.

People who are shallow friends are only going to socialize, and they are still courteous, and it is best to invite others in turn, so as to deepen the relationship.

Try to go as much as you can, and don't force what you can't go. For example, if you want to separate from the transfer of work, you can see off the old and welcome the new among colleagues; When the newcomer comes, you can go and welcome. Farewell to old colleagues, over the years of work to establish a certain relationship, it is reasonable to go; You don't have to join in the excitement when you welcome new colleagues, and you don't have to worry about the opportunity to meet in the future?

Attaching importance to socializing, we can't help but give gifts, and the exchange of gifts between colleagues is a material bond to establish feelings and deepen relationships.

A colleague helped you in a certain thing, you feel that it is difficult to be warm afterwards, and you choose a gift to thank you, which not only returns the favor, but also deepens the feelings, and the wedding between colleagues is festive, according to the friendship on weekdays, send a congratulatory gift. It not only added to the festive atmosphere, but also consolidated his popularity. In this case, you should pay attention to the difference between weight and weight when giving gifts, and generally don't buy too expensive gifts.

Gifts between colleagues, pay attention to the exchange of gifts, today you give me, I will give you tomorrow, so, no matter what kind of gifts, should not refuse, all accepted. He came to give gifts, and you insisted on not accepting them, wouldn't it make people lose face? If you estimate that the giver has a plan and has difficulty in refusing to "push" the gift, you can accept the gift temporarily, and then find an appropriate excuse to return the gift of the same value. If you really can't accept a gift, in addition to politely refusing it, you must also sincerely thank you. And accepting those extraordinary gifts, in the case that may affect the overall situation of the work and make you unable to adhere to the principles, you insist on tearing your face and not accepting it, it is better than you being suspected of accepting bribes in the future. This is called "a gentleman's love gift, and there is a way to receive it".

Entertainment is one of the magic weapons to deal with the relationship between colleagues, people who avoid it because they are troublesome will be said to be unsophisticated, and people who handle social affairs well will be welcomed by colleagues.

3. Don't be the opponent and be the opponent

【Social Rubik's Cube】

A swan, a turtle and a fish were caught in a net, and then they dragged the net away without the man noticing. But where to go? The swan flew desperately into the sky, the tortoise desperately pulled to the shore, and the fish tried to pull into the water, but in a moment the man chased them out and easily chased them back again.

As the saying goes, "peers are enemies, colleagues are opponents", in fact, this statement is not entirely true, because colleagues not only have competition, but also cooperation.

Colleagues sitting together often talk about the mountains, clouds and mountains and fog, laughter, and the atmosphere can be said to be very harmonious. But who knows, behind this atmosphere, there will be a haze. Because they are colleagues, because they are peers of the same generation who stand on the same starting line, there is competition between them. The existence of competition makes it easy for people to abandon their normal mentality, so the tricks such as hiding knives in laughter, hiding needles in cotton, crowding out persecution and so on have appeared, because "peers are enemies, colleagues are opponents".

Han Fei is a thinker who has been known for centuries as a master of legalism. When his works were transmitted to the Qin State, the King of Qin saw the articles "Lonely Anger" and "Five Worms", and said with deep feelings: "If I can meet this person and associate with him, I will have no regrets even if I die." Li Si said: "This is an article written by Han Fei of South Korea. "In order to get Han Fei, King Qin immediately attacked Korea. In fact, Han Fei was not reused in South Korea, and the Korean monarch only remembered Han Fei's usefulness when he was dying, and sent him as an envoy to Qin.

After Han Fei entered Qin, seeing the trend of strengthening Qin, he not only forgot the important task of envoying Qin, but instead wrote to the king of Qin and expressed his opinions. After reading it, King Qin was in line with his appetite, and his admiration for Han Fei was even greater, so he wanted to be sealed and reused.

However, Han Fei's entry into Qin caused Li Si's fear. He and Han Fei studied under Xunzi at the same time to learn the "art of the emperor", Li Si knew that his talent was not as good as Han Fei, and now the two of them are colleagues, and Han Fei will definitely take the limelight in the future, and he will be subservient.

So, Li Si admonished the king of Qin: "Han Fei is the son of Korea, now the king wants to annex the princes, Han Fei will help Korea after all, but will not help Qin, since the king does not need him, but stay in Qin for a long time and then let him return to China, this is a trouble, it is better to find a crime to kill him." The King of Qin thought he was reasonable, so he ordered Han Fei to be imprisoned. Li Si was afraid that King Qin would repent, and he was afraid that Han Fei would defend himself in a letter, so he sent someone to send poison to force Han Fei to commit suicide.

A generation of prodigies, just because he might be with Li Si's colleague Qin Wang was poisoned, and Han Fei could only have the lament of "both born and wrong, he was born". Because Han Fei's arrival threatened Li Si's status in the Qin State, can Li Siyan, who regards fame and fortune as his life, ignore it? No matter if you and I were classmates, no matter if you and I are strangers in a foreign land, go and die. Because "peers are enemies".

It is easy for people to feel threatened when they are talented and sharp, so to deal with the relationship with colleagues, you must use your behavior to make your colleagues feel that your presence will not threaten his status, so that he has a sense of security, not arrogant, and has the upper hand in everything. In this way, your colleagues will think that you are both a loyal and reliable colleague and a friend, and they will be able to interact and cooperate with you without any worries.

The competition between colleagues should be a clear knife, because after the competition, you have to continue to cooperate, and it is not appropriate to compete with colleagues for fame and profit, when the career is successful, you should be humble with your colleagues. Fight for some petty profits, take away the things that belong to your colleagues and put them in your own name, and no one will be willing to cooperate and get along with you. Your future development will not be much better.

Peers unfortunately become "enemies", colleagues become "opponents", because there is competition between peers and colleagues, there is often such a situation, colleagues do not know much about each other, especially between colleagues who have just arrived in a unit, they are unfamiliar with the unit and work. At this time, the same security needs, the same status, the same circumstances make them good friends. But after a few years, you will find that things have changed, differences between people have appeared, and they stop talking about everything, and there will be estrangement. And I began to care about the leader's evaluation of everyone, as well as the promotion and future of others and myself. Why is this so? At the end of the day, there are only two words at work: competition.

Speaking of which, we can't help but ask: does competition have to let friendship go away?!

Based on this, in order to handle the relationship with colleagues well, it is necessary to correctly understand and treat competition.

In modern society, the existence of competition is inevitable. Every unit has the opportunity to be promoted and raised, and among the many people of the same rank and rank, who is promoted, whose salary is raised, or who can be promoted and raised, all depends on personal performance, and there is competition. Everyone has a competitive spirit, and competition itself is conducive to promoting everyone's growth and the realization of personal ambitions. For a collective, competition is conducive to efficiency.

However, the existence of competition is not the reason for the existence of unscrupulous means, competition should be legitimate, the competition between colleagues, and the opponent should not be understood as the "opponent", the competitor is stronger than himself, and he must have the right mentality. This has been my life's claim. Only when you are not afraid to expose your weaknesses in front of the capable can you continue to make progress. Therefore, the competition between colleagues should be aimed at improving together and encouraging each other, and devote themselves to the competition with a positive competitive mentality.

Competition is always about winning and losing, and it depends on whether you can treat the two outcomes correctly. Some people are unscrupulous in the competition, that is, they can't face up to the results, and they can't recognize this truth: everyone is equal in the competition, there are winners, there are losers, and if you win, you must win openly, and if you lose, you must lose calmly. The competition between colleagues, the victory or defeat only shows the past, he won, you congratulate him, you have to find out your own defects and deficiencies, in order to facilitate your future development. Competition between colleagues, opponents in competition, colleagues at work, and friends in life. After the competition, the winner does not have to get carried away and the loser does not have to hang his head.

To be able to do this, you need to take fame and fortune lightly. Mencius said: "Nourish the heart and do not have few desires; He is also a man with few desires, although there are few who do not exist. He is also a man with many desires, although there are few survivors. This means that the best way for a person to cultivate his mind is to reduce his desires. People who have little desire do not feel less even if they get little; People who want a lot are those who have already gotten a lot and still feel less.

"Those who are content are always happy", who doesn't want to get promoted and get a salary increase? But in reality, it is not possible for everyone to get it, so there is competition. There are always losers in the competition, so why care so much about the results and be frustrated? And why do you want to do anything for the sake of this name and profit? Since you can't get it, you can still retreat to cultivate yourself and grow wise, and fight for it next time. The French Enlightenment thinker Rousseau famously said, "O man, limit your life to your abilities, and you will no longer be miserable." "It makes a lot of sense.

There is both competition and cooperation among colleagues, and we must not only do a good job of unity and cooperation, but also prudently and carefully guard our own development fields, and seek a balance between competition and cooperation. Colleagues should be rivals who respect each other, not rivals, and only by clarifying this can you coexist peacefully with your colleagues and stride forward in your career.

4. Don't torture yourself with jealousy

【Social Rubik's Cube】

After all, jealousy is a despicable emotion, and therefore it is a demonic quality. The devil took advantage of the darkness of the night to plant weeds in the wheat fields, because he was jealous of the harvest of others!

- Bacon

Jealousy is most likely to occur among colleagues, jealousy that others are promoted faster than you, and jealousy that others are more talented than you...... Jealousy is an emotion that is not good for others and for yourself, and being jealous of others is actually torturing yourself.

Hu and Wang graduated from university in the same year and entered the same unit to work, and they often communicate with each other in business. But after a few years, Hu was appreciated by the leaders for his familiar business and capable work ability, and was also rated as a senior technical title. Wang, on the other hand, is plain and has nothing to achieve. But he was very unconvinced by Hu and was very jealous of everything Hu had obtained, so he wrote an anonymous letter to the leader and framed Hu. In the end, the matter was revealed, and he was given an administrative punishment by the unit, as the so-called stealing chickens did not succeed but ate a handful of rice.

Jealousy is most likely to occur among colleagues. Because most of my colleagues are of the same age and have the same position, people always like to compare others with themselves when they have made progress in their careers. After a comparison, I found that I was inferior to others. But I always feel unconvinced, and the result is jealousy of others.

If colleagues are jealous and you fix me, I fix you, and retribution for wrongs, when will it be? And everyone has to tense their nerves every day, and life is not exhausting. Naturally, it is not possible to build a good relationship with colleagues.

Moreover, those who love to envy others do not have a good time themselves. I am jealous of others all day long, and I am also troubled in my heart, I always feel that others are smarter than myself, and I can't be calm about this, and I want to be jealous and think about how to calculate others. This kind of person is also very tired to live.

Jealousy, like a tumor in the soul, torments those who have this "preference". Jealousy can also cause some adverse effects in physiology, medical studies have shown that jealousy can easily cause headaches, high blood pressure, stomach problems, heart disease, etc., and even death due to jealousy.

Zhou Yu, who was young and promising during the Three Kingdoms, was jealous of Zhuge Liang's talent, and issued a sigh of "both Shengyu, He Shengliang" and ruined his life. At that time, Zhou Yu was very appreciated by Sun Quan in Eastern Wu and was Sun Quan's minister. And he was only in his thirties, in the prime of life, but he died of jealousy. Liu Boyu's wife in the Jin Dynasty was so jealous that she committed suicide by throwing herself into the river because she heard Liu Boyu's praise for the image of Luo Shen in Cao Zhi's "Luo Shen Fu"; Othello's jealousy led him to kill his beloved wife, Dafenmona. Jealousy is so short-lived and hurtful, shouldn't people go to this "chronic disease" to live a more nourishing, longer life, and be content?

Jealousy is a low-level pleasure, and many people have this problem. In fact, the opportunities for creativity and progress provided by society to everyone are equal, and there is no need to be jealous and excluded from each other. There is competition among colleagues, and it should be a normal competition in which you chase after me, rather than a competition in which you pull other people's legs and tear down other people's platforms.

An important reason for the jealousy of some Chinese people is that they do not seek to be motivated, and they cannot tolerate others surpassing themselves. It seems that the success of others means your own failure. If I eat bran vegetables, you can't eat rice and white noodles, and whoever dares to eat them will attack them in groups. As a result, "things are repaired and slandered, and morality is ruined." As Han Yu said: "Those who are slack cannot cultivate, and those who are jealous are afraid of others to cultivate." ”

A jealous person can't handle a good relationship with his colleagues, because he is prone to blushing and causing trouble, and no one wants to associate with him. As Xunzi said: "If a scholar has a jealous friend, he is not a good friend; If the king is jealous, the virtuous will not come. ”

Get along with your colleagues and don't be jealous of their growth and success. But what if you are jealous of others?

First of all, I congratulate you, because if you are not talented, who will be jealous of you? Who would be jealous of you if you don't have attractive charm? If you can't do anything, who will be jealous of you? It's too late to look down on you.

Being envied by others, it is your ability to do it, "you are an iron man who can be tempered by the sky, and you are a mediocre person who is not jealous." If no one is jealous of you, then you are too mediocre.

The second is that you don't have to worry about it, but you have to absorb the reasonable and beneficial elements of other people's jealousy. As playwright Zhou Zhentian said: "There is no need to resent, ridicule and jealousy, every time it comes, it is the driving force for progress." We must treat others and ourselves correctly, find our own "white and slight flaws", improve them, and transform them into a driving force for progress.

For some unfounded jealousy, don't pay attention to it. We should learn this from Mr. Huang Yanpei, a well-known democratic figure in our country. Huang Yanpei, the word is at will, when he explained why he took this word, he said: "This has two meanings. The first is to resolutely and courageously shoulder the responsibilities that we should do and the country should bear, and let them go. The second is to ignore indifferent things, boring rumors, etc., leave it alone, let it go, and let it go. This is an effective attitude towards the envy of colleagues.

In short, being jealous of others is torturing yourself and not getting along with yourself, if you only know that you are jealous of others after comparison, then you will be left far behind, but if you can truly appreciate the progress of others, and humbly learn from each other, learn from each other's strengths, then you have a chance to catch up, and even achieve greater achievements.

5. Make the "black" useless

【Social Rubik's Cube】

Stick to your part and keep silent, this is the best answer to slander.

- Washington

At work, there will inevitably be some conflicts between colleagues, if you unfortunately offend the "villain", then you have to be careful, maybe when he will sue you in front of the leader for the "black state".

If the leader is wise and shrewd, then this "black" will not play much role, but if the leader is a person who is easy to believe, the "black" will bring you a serious threat.

So, how can we minimize the harm caused by "blackness"? Here are a few things you might want to try:

(1) Preemptive strike

Generally speaking, those who spread rumors and accusations of "black facts" always have to study people's psychology in order to make their own rumors play a role in framing people. In the practice of framing people, these people have gradually "explored" such a law, that is, on the whole, people often have a deep first impression, and once formed, they often accumulate into a fixed pattern of thinking. For example, the manager did not have any special impression of Li Si, and he had neither a good impression nor a bad feeling. If, at this time, someone told him how Li Si and his person were misbehaved, morally corrupt, etc., then even if he did not obey the person's words, deep down, he really put a big question mark on Li Si's character, and psychologically showed signs of bad feelings towards him; By the time Li Si himself or someone else defended it again, saying that the words attacking Li Si's character were purely out of thin air and reversed black and white, at this time, he was already far behind. Because these ideas conflict with the first impressions formed earlier, it is difficult to get into the mind; Unless the later impression is particularly strong, or repeated many times, it is possible to change or dilute the previous first impression.

Those who are good at creating "black shapes" grasp this characteristic of people's thinking and psychology and try by all means to be the first to strike. Most of the people who are injured by the "hidden arrow" are often in a disadvantageous position of defence because they neglect to take precautions and lose the chess game, and some people do not even have the opportunity to defend themselves, and they are cheated in vain.

We know that the power of preemptive strike lies in the fact that the person who sues the black is the first to take the lead. However, if those who are likely to be falsely accused take measures in advance to actively protect themselves, or if they take active action at the slightest hint of the wind and take the lead themselves, wouldn't the situation change completely? Therefore, for everyone who guards against and counterattacks the "black state", in order to defeat the enemy, we must not always be "the back hand of the chess game", but should also actively take action to seize the opportunity before those evil people who make small reports sue the "black state", so as to defeat the rumors and slander spread by gossip about themselves.

During the reign of Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty, Chao was wrong for the internal history, and he was very trusted by Emperor Jing and put forward many innovative suggestions. Prime Minister Shen Tujia has been waiting for the agency to fall because of his wrong suggestion that violated his interests. Chao Cuo's mansion is in the short wall in the open space outside the temple of the Emperor Taishang, and it is very inconvenient to enter and exit, so Chao Cuo opened a door in the south of the low wall, and Shen Tujia took advantage of this to make a big fuss and sued Chao Cuo to chisel the temple wall as a door, and asked to kill the head. After Chao Cuo heard Shen Tujia's scheme, he rushed to Shen Tujia and reported the true situation to Emperor Jing. Therefore, when Shen Tujia complained, Emperor Han Jing only said lightly, "It's not a temple wall, it's a short wall in the open space outside the temple", and then vetoed Shen Tujia's small report. When Shen Tujia returned home, he lost his temper and said, "I should have rushed ahead of him, and he rushed ahead, but I was sold by him." "Misguided alertness saved him from a scourge of slander.

(2)-for-tat

The most crucial thing in adopting "tit-for-tat" countermeasures to guard against and counter the "black state" is to select the right target, and to adopt the method of open polemic against the retrograde behavior of the traitors who cause trouble, boldly expose and resolutely refute the gossip they spread, and denigrate the despicable acts they have committed. This requires:

First of all, take the initiative and announce the reason for what happened to everyone in detail and objectively, so that people can know about it to a certain extent;

secondly, to engage in public debates with the traitors who sued the "black case", and put on the table the objective facts, the "black materials" that were secretly reported, and the various untruths behind them;

Third, help and guide people to compare, scrutinize, and refer to correct objective facts with "black materials."

In this way, the truth and falsehood of the so-called "materials", "reports", "proofs" and "heartfelt words" provided by certain people will be revealed.

(3) Use of third parties

Using a third party to deal with small reports can give people the impression of being authentic and reliable.

Emperor Wu of Han was a capable emperor, but in his later years, he also became confused. He appointed a scoundrel named Jiang Chong, Jiang Chong created an unjust, false and wrongful case for his own selfish interests, and finally the unjust case was on the prince's head, saying that the prince cursed Emperor Wu, and dug up the puppets placed in advance in the prince's room. The prince couldn't say clearly, and he was angry with Jiang Chong, so he killed Jiang Chong, but he had to flee.

Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was extremely suspicious in his later years, thinking that the people around him would harm him. Jiang Chong took advantage of this to frame the prince, and in this case, it is impossible for the parties to defend themselves. At this time, there was a Shanxi Shangdang man named Ling Humao, who wrote to Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty to point out that the crown prince was innocent and Jiang Chong was treacherous, and cited various examples in history, hoping that Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty would not listen to slander. In this way, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty became conscious. However, by that time, the crown prince had been killed by his pursuers.

Without the courageous intervention of a more detached bystander, Jiang Chong's slander would have been difficult to debunk.

As the saying goes: the body is not afraid of the shadow crooked. If you do things for others with openness, integrity and selflessness, and do not give the villain a handle, then the villain will not be able to sue the "black state", and the disaster will naturally be avoided.

6. Conflict is to get along with yourself

【Social Rubik's Cube】

The most important thing in interpersonal relationships is to understand each other's strengths and weaknesses, and this understanding is very necessary between colleagues.

- Konosuke Matsushita

Colleagues meet almost every day, and their personalities, temperaments, strengths and weaknesses are also more obvious, especially the shortcomings and weaknesses of each person's behavior are exposed more, which will cause all kinds of conflicts and contradictions.

Song Lei hated Accountant Wang in the finance department more and more, and every time she went to her to get a statement or something, it took a long time, and she was said by the manager to be "slow to do things"! Accountant Wang also hated Song Lei very much, thinking that she was babbling all day long and disrespecting the old employees, but the two of them became more and more stiff, Song Lei threw things and made her face white, and Accountant Wang said that she was the east and the west, pointing at Sang and scolding Huai. Song Lei really wants to change jobs, but except for the conflict with Accountant Wang, everything is going well, she is really reluctant to do this job, what should she do?

If you have a conflict with your colleagues, it will not only hurt your feelings, but also affect your work, and it will easily cause dissatisfaction with your leaders and affect your future, so you are asking for trouble with your colleagues.

In fact, if there is a conflict between colleagues, they can still come and go. First of all, any opinion among colleagues often originates from a specific event and does not involve other aspects of the individual. After the incident has passed, this kind of conflict and contradiction may continue for a period of time due to the inertia of people's thinking, but over time, it will gradually fade away. So, don't get hung up on the little opinions of the past. As long as you are generous and don't take the past seriously, the other person will treat you with the same open-minded attitude.

Secondly, even if the other party still has a certain prejudice against you, it does not prevent you from interacting with him. Because in the exchanges between colleagues, what we pursue is not the kind of friendship and affection between friends, but only work and tasks. It doesn't matter if there are conflicts between each other, just ask both parties to cooperate in their work. Since the work itself involves the common interests of both parties, how well they cooperate with each other and whether things are successful or not are all related to both parties. If the other party is a smart person, he will naturally think of this; That way, he will also try to work with you. If the other person is obsessed, you may wish to point this point out to him in cooperation or work together, so as to facilitate mutual cooperation.

As long as we can face the reality and actively take measures to resolve the conflict, the relationship between colleagues will still be as good as ever, or even better than before.

To resolve conflicts between colleagues, you should take the initiative and try to put aside past preconceptions and treat these people more positively, at least as if they were any other person. At first, they will be wary and will think it's a trap and ignore it. Be patient, there is no problem, and it will take a lot of effort to put an end to the grudges of the past. You have to insist on treating them well, improving little by little, and after a while, the problems on the surface will disappear like water in the sun.

If it's a deep-seated problem, you can take the initiative to talk to them and confirm if you have inadvertently done something to offend them. Of course, this can only be done after you have done a lot of internal work and have a sincere desire to reconcile with the other person. I've seen people sitting together, ostensibly trying to solve problems, but in fact they're being more assertive about their opinions.

They may say that you have not offended them, and they will ask you why you are asking. You can calmly explain your thoughts, such as that you value a good working relationship with them, maybe there is a misunderstanding between the two parties, etc. If you do do something that makes them angry, and they insist that there is nothing wrong with each other, the blame is entirely on their side.

Maybe they'll tell you questions that may not be the one you have in mind, but whatever they say, be sure to listen to them.

At the same time, to show that you listened and understood what they were saying, you could retell the key points in your own words, such as: "That is, I gave up the suggestion, and you feel that I didn't think it through, so it makes you angry." Now that you understand the sticking point, you can use this as a starting point to rebuild a good relationship, but the building of a good relationship should start with an apology, are you good at apologizing?

If a colleague is older and more qualified than you, don't confront him while it's happening, unless you're sure you have a good reason. It's better to settle it after both of you have calmed down, and even in this case, it's unlikely that straight picking out the problem and fixing the problem will work. You can talk about some relevant issues, and of course, you can ask questions in your own way. If you do do do something wrong and get blamed, revisit that issue and sincerely apologize. Something like "it's my fault" can work miracles. You must not be too serious with your colleagues, and let it pass some trivial things, which will only make each other unhappy. If the measure is larger, you will not suffer much, but you will have a good popularity.

7. Top 10 taboos in the office

【Social Rubik's Cube】

Please be aware of the importance of "living with others", always be grateful, and associate with others with a heart that is not ungrateful, does not neglect gratitude, and respects righteousness.

- Konosuke Matsushita

In the same office, some people can mingle with colleagues, some people are lonely, in addition to the contradictions and direct conflicts of interest on major issues, usually do not pay attention to the details of their words and deeds is also a reason, the following words and deeds should be avoided in the office, check whether you are negligent!

(1) Good things are not reported

Lu Qun's cousin is in charge of logistics, so if there are good things in the unit, such as sending a few boxes of fruit and organizing a movie, Lu Qun can always get the news first, and naturally he can get the best every time. But I don't know what to think, Lu Qun never informs everyone when there is a good thing, and everyone naturally stays away from him. Now when he sees Lu Qun acting alone, his colleagues will sneer and say, "Look! I don't know what's going on! ”

You know about the items and bonuses in the unit, or you have already received them, and you sit there silently, as if nothing happened, and never inform everyone, some things can be collected on your behalf, and you never help people receive them. After a few times like this, others will naturally have ideas and think that you are too unsociable, lacking a sense of commonality and a spirit of cooperation. Later, if they know in advance, or if they receive something first, they may not tell you. If this continues, the relationship between them will not be harmonious.

(2) Knowingly and inferring that you don't know

A colleague is on a business trip, or out for a while, and someone happens to come looking for him, or there happens to be his phone, if the colleague doesn't tell you when he leaves, but you know, you might as well tell them; If you really don't know, you might as well show your enthusiasm by asking someone and then telling them later. You know it, but you say you don't know, once it is known, the relationship between you will inevitably be affected. Outsiders looking for colleagues, no matter what the situation, should be sincere and enthusiastic, so that even if it doesn't make a real difference, outsiders will feel that your colleagues have a good relationship.

(3) Entering and exiting without informing each other

If you have something to do and go out for a while, or take a leave of absence from work, although it is the leader who approves the leave, it is best for you to talk to your colleagues in the office. Even if you're out for half an hour, say hello to your colleagues. In this way, if a leader or acquaintance comes to him, he can also ask his colleagues to have an explanation. If you don't want to say anything, going in and out of the mysterious, sometimes there is something important, people can't say it, sometimes you don't bother to say it, I'm afraid it's still you who will be affected. Mutual information is not only a need for joint work, but also a need for bonding, and it shows mutual respect and trust between the two parties.

(4) Don't talk about private things that can be said

There are some private things that cannot be said, but there is no harm in talking about other private matters, such as your boyfriend's or girlfriend's work unit, type of work, education, age, personality and temperament, etc.; If you are married and have children, you can talk about your lover and children in your spare time, which can increase understanding and deepen your relationship. If these contents are kept secret and never told to others, how can this be considered a colleague? Saying nothing usually indicates the depth of affection; If there is something not to say, it naturally indicates the estrangement of interpersonal distance. If you take the initiative to talk to someone about something personal, they will tell you and sometimes help each other. You don't say anything, you don't let people know, how can people trust you? Trust is based on mutual understanding.

(5) Refuse to ask colleagues for help when there is something

It is right not to ask for help, because asking for someone will always cause trouble for others. But everything is dialectical, and sometimes asking for help from someone can show your trust, rapport and deepen your relationship. For example, if you are not in good health, and your colleague's lover is a doctor, and you don't know him, but you can find it through the introduction of your colleague, so that the diagnosis can be made faster and more carefully. If you don't want to ask for help, your colleagues will find out and think you don't trust people. If you don't want to ask people, they will be embarrassed to ask you; If you are afraid of trouble, people will think that you are also afraid of trouble. Good interpersonal relationships are premised on helping each other. Therefore, it is generally possible to ask for help from others. Of course, be careful and try not to embarrass others.

(6) Refuse a colleague's "snack"

Colleagues bring some snacks such as fruits, melon seeds, and sugar to the office, and during breaks, you don't push, and don't refuse to eat other people's things. Sometimes, when someone among your colleagues has won an award or a job title, everyone is happy and asks him to buy something for a treat, which is also very normal, and you can actively participate in this. Don't sit next to you coldly and say nothing, let alone be given to you, but you refuse, showing a look of disdain or not uncommon. People enthusiastically distribute, but you always refuse coldly, and after a long time, people have reason to say that you are noble and arrogant, and think that you are difficult to get along with.

(7) I like to take advantage of my mouth

In getting along with colleagues, some people always want to take advantage of their mouths. Some people like to tell other people's jokes and ask others for cheapness, even if it is a joke, they will never end up with their own losses; Some people like to argue, they have to argue if they are reasonable, and they have to fight for three points if they are unreasonable; Some people, regardless of national affairs or daily life matters, when they see that the other party has flaws, they will cling to it, and they have to let the other party lose; Some people also want to fight over issues that are already unclear; Some people often take the initiative, people don't talk about him, he always talks about others first...... This kind of person who likes to take advantage of his mouth is actually very stupid. He comes across as too competitive, too sharp to work with. Therefore, telling jokes, making jokes, and sometimes you might as well suffer a little bit to show kindness. You want to take advantage of everything, you want to act smarter than others, and in the end, people often stay away from you, and no one says hello to you.

(8) Nerves are too sensitive

Some people are very vigilant, and they are always on guard against their colleagues, and when they see people talking about them, they are suspicious of him; Some people like to think badly of others, and associate other people's words and deeds with themselves at every turn; Some people have too rich imagination, and they say a casual sentence without any intention at all, but he hears the rich connotation. Being overly sensitive is actually a kind of self-torture, a kind of psychological suffering, and a kind of harshness on oneself. Among colleagues, sometimes it is better to be a little numb. People who are too sensitive to their nerves will definitely not have a good relationship. Excessive sensitivity, just like a scale, one more grain of rice, it will immediately show its weight; If there is one grain of rice, it will immediately become lighter. Such a sensitive thing, how difficult to operate! It's the same with people, if you are too sensitive, people will feel that they can't get along.

(9) Do not do chores that should be done

Several people are in the same office, and there are always some chores every day, such as turning on the water, sweeping the floor, cleaning doors and windows, clipping newspapers, etc., although these are small things, but they must also be actively done. If a colleague is older than you, you might as well take the initiative to do more. Laziness is something that everyone hates, if you never turn on the water, but you have to drink it every day, and you never clip the newspaper, but you compete to read it every day, over time, people will not have a good impression of you. If your room is very clean, but you never sweep the floor in the office, people will say that you are selfish. When several colleagues are together, it is a small collective, and collective things must be done by the collective, and if you don't do it, you will be more or less unsociable.

(10) Be courteous in front of the leader

It is all right to respect the leaders of the units and conscientiously carry out the correct instructions of the leaders. But don't be courteous in front of the leader. Some people are perfunctory in their work, or they have no ability at all, and when they see the leader coming, they will give up their seats, pour tea, hand out cigarettes, and even openly praise them to please the leader. Although there is no direct stake in this kind of behavior, honest colleagues are very disgusted. They will look down on you in their hearts, they won't want to cooperate with you, and some will sneer at you. If your boss is really good and you sincerely admire him, then you should behave in a subtle way, preferably in the specific work. Some people often hide from their colleagues about problems with their bosses, and these problems are often talked about by colleagues in the office. This is actually a kind of dedication in disguise, and my colleagues are extremely disgusted when they learn about it.

Small details may seem inconspicuous, but they can have a significant impact on relationships, and if you don't pay attention to correcting them, you will become persona non grata in the office.

8. Prevent villains in the office

【Social Rubik's Cube】

To truly understand a person, one needs to judge him in his misfortune.

- Napoleon

As the saying goes, "people should not blindly escape from the villain, you should prepare a bottle of "insecticidal brake" Jianghu, involuntarily", there will always be competition in the office, and there will be competition to play tricks, so whether you want to or not, you have to deal with work while dealing with complex interpersonal relationships.

You can't have the heart to hurt others, and you can't have the heart to defend people. Even if you hate to play with power, and you don't play tricks, you can't guarantee that others won't make up your mind. Especially when you are both talented and ambitious, some people want to kick you out. Most of these people are very happy and cunning, and they usually make a move when you are not paying attention, and there is no trace of it. You want to expose his ruses but have no proof.

Of course, you don't have to be like everyone else. If you like your job and don't want to quit your job, and it's popular in your organization, then you need to understand what other people are doing, be motivated, and deal with it properly.

Some people are good at using rumors as a sharp weapon, and the biggest purpose is to destroy the reputation of their opponents and highlight their talents. If the opponent being attacked is a capable female colleague, the easiest way for them to be effective is to use "sexual" aggression. said that her success was due to how she was with her boss and customers, so she was able to keep her business, get appreciated by her boss, and even get a salary increase.

Some people are the most sensitive to general ambiguous behavior, and they are also the most talked, if this kind of ambiguous behavior occurs in the company, even if there is only a little clue, they will add salt and sauce, and exaggerate the matter; Even if there is nothing to do, it will be exaggerated by them as if "this is indeed the case".

There is a female white-collar worker working in a foreign company, and her work ability is well-known, and her position has been frequently promoted. Whenever people mentioned her, they all gave her a thumbs up, praising this young lady for being smart, learned, insightful, first-class and articulate, and able to make the relationship extremely harmonious, both up and down. This situation aroused the jealousy of some colleagues, and the senior staff were also stingy and suspicious of each other, so they were even more jealous of her. The white-collar worker's job requires constant contact with the outside world, including her foreign superiors. It didn't take long for it to be rumored that her promotion was particularly favored by having a relationship with her boss. This rumor spread throughout all departments in an instant.

The rumors annoyed the white-collar worker. Fortunately, she cultivated her kung fu and did not have a seizure, but instead came up with a trick to clarify the problem.

She did not complain to her boss, but invited her boss's wife to her home on a weekend, and also invited a white-collar worker who usually goes in and out as a companion. The female white-collar worker was approachable, and in a blink of an eye, the boss's wife was very friendly with her, and invited them back to the camping dinner the next weekend. In the days to come, they came and went.

Sure enough, the strategy worked, and it didn't take long for the rumors to calm down. Her superiors, of course, understood her painstaking efforts, but they didn't break it, and praised the way she handled it alone.

Although the matter has gone up in smoke, it is a pity that it has not been possible to identify who is the creator of this rumor. Otherwise, she would definitely call this person to her boss and question him face to face, which would make the rumor-mongers embarrassed.

Another female white-collar worker who works in an investment company also encountered the same situation, and was told by a male colleague that she had an ambiguous relationship with a client, which caused the business figures to skyrocket, and later, after a little consideration, she resigned. Because this perception is not only difficult to dispel in the original company, but also will intensify, it is better to leave.

Most companies are run by people who are honest and noble, and if you ask someone who maliciously slanders you to come to your boss to sort out the merits, the rumor-monger will usually be fired or warned.

Another of the most common tactics is when a colleague deliberately leaks information or provides you with false information to catch you off guard in a pinch.

For example, if you need some important information to make a decision, and the colleague who has this information intentionally or unintentionally "forgets to tell you" the important parts, making it difficult for your plan to be completed or making bad decisions as a result. Or maybe the meeting was supposed to be held the day after tomorrow, and a colleague who is jealous of you knows that you can't finish the plan, but suddenly quietly discusses with your boss to advance the meeting to tomorrow. Makes your work impossible to complete before the meeting and gives your boss the impression that you are lazy.

In addition, women often know the intentions of their bosses, and their colleagues often talk to each other, so they can get a lot of information from them. Keep in mind, though, that if you're already a supervisor, some female colleagues will be jealous of your status and want to reject you. If you are outstanding at work and in a fairly high position, you naturally do not want to hurt you by bad rumors, but if you do not have the support of your superiors, the best way is to make it difficult for rumors to exist before they cause great harm.

Remember not to treat others the way they would be, this is not the best policy. The right way to succeed is through your own efforts, not on finding fault with others. If the personnel struggle in the company department is too intense, it will affect your work, and "easy to dodge, hard to defend against hidden arrows", you may be recruited at any time, so it may be a wise choice for you to transfer or resign.

9. Sustain friendship for eight hours

【Social Rubik's Cube】

All the power that is used just right will come to the same end and complement each other.

- Dugal

If you are too far away, people will think that you are unsociable and withdrawn, and if you are too close, people will gossip, and it is easy for your boss to misunderstand and think that you are in a small circle, so only the colleague relationship that is not far away is the most ideal.

Some people think that "good friends should not cooperate at work", and there is some truth to it.

One day, a new colleague arrives in the company, who is none other than your friend, and he will be your partner. Your boss entrusts him to you, and the first thing you need to do is to introduce him to the company's division of labor and other systems. At this time, it is not advisable to pat him on the shoulder, so as not to provoke gossip.

The premise is that there is a clear distinction between public and private, in the company, he is your partner, and you must cooperate loyally to create good work results.

Privately, you two know each other very well and care about each other, but these performances are best expressed after work, as usual, you two can go shopping, chat, buy things, play ball, there is no difference at all, but, I advise you, in your spare time, it is better to mention less business.

When an old colleague returns to work, it is necessary to pay attention to your attitude. Because the old man knows a certain amount about you and the company, which means that he doesn't need time to get used to it.

First of all, you have to be clear, what was the previous rank of this benevolent brother? What's the relationship with you? What kind of style does he have? Now that he has returned to his old nest, will his status change?

If you have worked with you before, please don't take the initiative to mention the past in front of others or in front of him, just treat it as a new colleague to avoid embarrassment. If he used to be irrelevant to me and is now a partner, ask a colleague who knows something about him about his past history, but pretend to be an understatement and leave no trace.

A colleague is irritable by nature and often "nags" over trivial things, although he will not take things to heart afterwards, but the rough voice or excessive reaction in advance will make you sullen.

Secretly wondering, it will only hurt yourself, why not think of a way to improve? It is important to know that colleagues often spend more time seeing each other than family members, and they often feel like a fish in their throats, which is too unbearable, and I am afraid that it will indirectly affect the mood at work.

The best way to deal with these strong-tempered people is to brake quietly. However, make no mistake about it, it is not a strategy of "patience" in everything, but rather a proactive and proactive approach.

If you think about it, you are definitely not the only one who feels the same way, so you might as well let the other person talk violently, but you are calm and silent. Even when other colleagues express grievances, you stick to your principles. Until the matter is clear and the other person's attitude is calm, you can put on a reasonable attitude and analyze the matter carefully, so that you will be able to defeat the other person.

Only by keeping the right distance from your colleagues can you become a truly popular person. You should learn to be considerate of others. Regardless of the position, everyone has their own scope of work and responsibilities, so when it comes to power, don't take the lead. However, remember to never say things like "this is not my business", which is too clear and will only ruin the relationship between colleagues. Before preparing for a mission, humbly ask your boss, "What do we want to get?" "What should we do under the conditions to complete the task successfully?"

and never judge the length of a person. People who are more stingy and curious, when they get together, they will inevitably say that the east and the west are short, and you must not join their gang when you are mature. It's okay to occasionally criticize or ridicule someone outside the company, but it's wise to keep quiet about a colleague's weaknesses or personal matters. Remember, forming a small circle is harmful and not beneficial. It is also important to distinguish between public and private. There are many colleagues, and there are always one or two who are particularly speculative with you, and maybe they become good friends in private. But no matter if you are higher or lower than him, you should not favor or take advantage of him because you are better. A person who does not distinguish between public and private cannot do great things, not to mention, the bosses hate this kind of person the most and think that they cannot be trusted. So you should know the trade-offs. A good colleague is not the same as a good friend, and you should always remind yourself of that. If you have a good relationship with your colleagues, leave your friendship within eight hours, and don't invade other people's private space after work, it's good to establish a good friendship with your colleagues, but you should also pay attention to the heat, it's not a good thing to be too "hot".

10. Helping others in the office

【Social Rubik's Cube】

If you want to be happy and loved, then don't ask for it, don't expect anything in return, just give silently.

—Dale Carnegie

Colleagues are indispensable to help each other, what should you take towards this kind of thing? There should be a willingness to help, but there should also be measure.

As long as you are human, there will be good and evil, but you can't be so willful when making friends in the office, it is best to deal with them equally.

Colleagues should be able to share weal and woe. "If you don't work overtime today, you won't be able to finish your work!" If a colleague says these things with a sigh while looking at his watch, you might say, "Alas! It's hard work! Do you want me to help you? If I could say that to him, how grateful that overtime colleague would be! Today I help you, tomorrow it may become you do me a favor, and this happens a lot at work. But it should be noted that you can't be too enthusiastic, you are a colleague, not a housekeeper.

Ms. A attaches great importance to the friendship between colleagues and is extremely enthusiastic about others: when her colleagues and husbands are not in harmony, she acts as a "peacemaker", speaks all good things, and is determined to reunite the broken mirror; My colleague's younger brother has passed the marriageable age and still has no girlfriend, so she automatically asked Ying to be a matchmaker after she found out, and pulled all the unmarried girls she knew to introduce to him; A colleague wants to go on a date or run errands, and when unfinished work is put on her desk, she rolls up her sleeves and does it without saying a word...... Although she is enthusiastic about helping others, she often helps, and her colleagues simply gave Ms. A the nickname "housekeeper". The leader was also not very satisfied with her approach, thinking that everyone's work should be done by everyone, Ms. A was really confused, why did she help others but still fall behind?

Ms. A's problem lies in the fact that she does not grasp the "degree" well, and her help is too indiscriminate, so that "helping others" will naturally no longer have any fun.

In life, you are serious and helpful, but you are busy all day long. Because in addition to your own work, you are also a "scavenger", and you accept all requests from other colleagues.

But you might as well review whether doing so often makes you breathless, or even overtime, and if so, I advise you to re-evaluate your abilities and attitudes.

Everyone needs to rest, and if you don't have time to stop and catch your breath and "refuel", it's definitely bad for your work. Secondly, people can't indulge, be a "good person" for a long time, people don't know how to cherish, even if you may have worked hard for yourself, but thankless. So you should learn to say no to others.

Of course, it is not to ask you to be abnormal and only take care of yourself, but to analyze in advance how much time it takes to do that job, and how much work your ability and energy can bear. Don't think you're superhuman, no one can work under great pressure for a long time, please free yourself.

Well, you do have time to "pick someone to help" by researching what kind of jobs you can learn new skills or have a good relationship effect. Otherwise, please tactfully decline.

A colleague wants to find another job and is honest about asking you to be their introducer. This colleague is quite close to you, and even treats you as a "friend", so you should not sit idly by.

However, when it comes to reaching out, be mindful of who you are.

It's your co-workers who are not satisfied with your work, not you, so you are definitely not worth it to have a bad impact on your work. Even if you interfere, you have to be smart and sensible.

First of all, if a colleague still serves the company, if you introduce him to work, it is equivalent to going against the company, even if the boss does not blame you, if someone uses this as a talking point and slanders you behind your back, it will be more or less detrimental to you.

If you happen to have a job that is a good fit for the colleague, consider the following approach: Asking a third party outside the company to be an introducer for the colleague is the best of both worlds.

Of course, if a colleague has left the company, he is no longer your colleague and asks you for help as a friend, you can be free to help him. Because without stakes and colleagues, many problems will not happen, and you have to lend a hand, which is beneficial to you and to him.

For some reason, your colleagues rely on you both in public and private.

"I don't know what to do without you!" Colleagues often say this publicly.

Don't be complacent, it's never a good sign. Think about it, what will others think? I think there's a magic trick for you to control him! What's more, colleagues can never "stand up", which is more or less an obstacle for you, and the two of you will only stay in your original position together. It is really necessary for you to put an end to the situation where your colleagues are dependent on you everywhere.

If you speak harshly, or very formulaicly, or openly tell the other party that you will not treat him as he has been accommodating in the past, and ask him to decide and implement everything for himself. In this way, of course, it will be self-defeating, and the other party must think that you are annoying to him, or that you want to ask for credit alone, and the good impression of you will be immediately discounted.

Might as well be tactful and indirect. For example, when the other party asks you to lend a hand as usual, you can joke and say, "Actually, this matter is very simple, you must be able to handle it easily, and it may not be good to be swayed by my opinion." These words indirectly reminded him that a successful person must be independent and confident. What's more, saying this will not hurt everyone's friendship at all.

In short, "helping others" in the office should be tailored to the time, the situation, and the situation, and the enthusiasm should also be moderate, so as to bring you fun and make both parties accept.